It seems that the US's ability to justify anything from war through to the banning of pink fluffy bunny slippers in public places by means of using a quick chart knocked up in Excel continues.
Today Philly voted to join New York City in banning transfats from restaurant menus. Now transfats are bad. They make you fat. They clog your arteries. They may well give you cancer. They do terrible things to the nation's healthcare system. That said they do store well at ambient temperatures and don't look runny when you take the top off your margerine in the morning.
I'm all for warning people about the dangers of transfats. And all for telling people when transfats are in the food that they're eating... but a ban? really?
I can understand a ban on smoking in public places. Smoke drifts. It gets into other people's hair and clothing and lungs and leaves them feeling like an ashtray. It's a health hazzard that spreads indiscriminately - so great ban it to protect the people who haven't chiosen to smoke from its nasty side effects.
But to the best of my knowledge the inside of my Custard Cream biscuit (100% transfat) does not wander around the restaurant smearing itself upon people's hair and clothes and finding a way into their lungs and bloodstream. No it's contained (deliciously between layers of crispy biscuit) and thus I should be free to eat it - having made a choice based on the fact of what's in it and my own particular weakness for 'cream' filled biscuits.
So Philly, City of Brotherly Love - get off your high horses and stick to label warnings - or the next thing you'll be banning might be gypsies... and you know where that leads....
Friday, February 09, 2007
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Oh well
I woke this morning full of expectation... last night I'd turned on the $5 Craigslist bread machine and I was expecting an oaty, slightly crunchy loaf this morning.
Alas I think that I may have gone heavy on the oats as what I have instead is a loaf that looks like the surface of a witch's nose, cuts with a crack like the earth itself splitting and a taste somewhere between honey and hemp. Oh well it was an experiement in middle class noddling doomed to fail from the beginning.
I do love the way that once essential working class skills are now becoming middle class hobbies or even eyebrow raised hipster entertainment. Baking, knitting, sewing (even cooking) - they're all now genteel or drunken pastimes rather than the essential tools in the housewife's armoury.
Oddly they're skills that Judith seems to miraculously possess - along with the ability to fix a puncture, speak almost any language thrown at her, paint, draw, handle statistical models that prove eye wateringly complex at second view, handle animals, hack up donkeys and of course the essential ability to program the DVR without erasing any of my crap reality shows (Top Design, Survivor, Amazing Race, Beauty and the Geek...)
I only the other hand am a whizz with shaded arrows in powerpoint
Alas I think that I may have gone heavy on the oats as what I have instead is a loaf that looks like the surface of a witch's nose, cuts with a crack like the earth itself splitting and a taste somewhere between honey and hemp. Oh well it was an experiement in middle class noddling doomed to fail from the beginning.
I do love the way that once essential working class skills are now becoming middle class hobbies or even eyebrow raised hipster entertainment. Baking, knitting, sewing (even cooking) - they're all now genteel or drunken pastimes rather than the essential tools in the housewife's armoury.
Oddly they're skills that Judith seems to miraculously possess - along with the ability to fix a puncture, speak almost any language thrown at her, paint, draw, handle statistical models that prove eye wateringly complex at second view, handle animals, hack up donkeys and of course the essential ability to program the DVR without erasing any of my crap reality shows (Top Design, Survivor, Amazing Race, Beauty and the Geek...)
I only the other hand am a whizz with shaded arrows in powerpoint
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Thinking of warmer climes
With the winter continuing its brutal onslaught (-11c outside right now) and with Jude getting closer to completion of her PhD it's time to start thinking about how much of the summer we can spend together and where that time might be spent.
To date there's time in the diary for Jude and her mom to take off in May to a Caribbean island somewhere. A sort of celebration of freedom from the tyranny of deadlines. After which Jude has booked herself close to eight weeks in Africa. All in that means her being away from the middle of May through to the end of July. A long old time. More time than I have vacation. Which is why I need to choose carefully.
My ideal would be to head off mid May for Caribbean sun and then early July for African winter. That way we don't spend much more than 4 weeks at a time apart. Manageable for all, you'd hope.
Still it's nice to have one eye on the sun (even if the other is on the bank balance) when all that you see outside is grey and icy
To date there's time in the diary for Jude and her mom to take off in May to a Caribbean island somewhere. A sort of celebration of freedom from the tyranny of deadlines. After which Jude has booked herself close to eight weeks in Africa. All in that means her being away from the middle of May through to the end of July. A long old time. More time than I have vacation. Which is why I need to choose carefully.
My ideal would be to head off mid May for Caribbean sun and then early July for African winter. That way we don't spend much more than 4 weeks at a time apart. Manageable for all, you'd hope.
Still it's nice to have one eye on the sun (even if the other is on the bank balance) when all that you see outside is grey and icy
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Poor Velcro
With the temperatures hovering around -10c Velcro isn't getting the walks that she's used to and whilst she's taking it with a stoic resolve there's a spring in her step whenever we do venture out that leaves no doubt as to the fact that whilst it may be too cold for me out there it's walk in the park weather for her
Still she's as cute as a button (whatever the hell that means)
Still she's as cute as a button (whatever the hell that means)
Monday, February 05, 2007
To quote Hannibal
"I love it when a plan comes together"
Ok it's Hannibal Smith from the A Team rather than the great elephant marching general but the quote still holds. Finally have French recruiters and translators working for me and my Paris trip will be something other than disasterous. Hooray.
I guess that the mounting panic I felt was a control thing - I'd sent out the requests, had heard nothing back and was starting to get itchy - as I didn't know what my next move would be. All a little seat of the pants for me; but hey I'm here and pretty 8 days out; which can't be at all bad.
It's -11C outside and thus I am delaying my departure for work for as long as I can. The thought of being stuck on a station platform in this weather is too much to bear. As is the thought of the heating bill which will surely follow. During really cold snaps we spend about $15 a day heating this brick and glass heat sieve.
Still the journey outside cannot and will not be put off forever - and thus I shall end this brief but audible sigh and head for work - wrapped head to knee in goose down (if only we'd bought a bigger goose)
Ok it's Hannibal Smith from the A Team rather than the great elephant marching general but the quote still holds. Finally have French recruiters and translators working for me and my Paris trip will be something other than disasterous. Hooray.
I guess that the mounting panic I felt was a control thing - I'd sent out the requests, had heard nothing back and was starting to get itchy - as I didn't know what my next move would be. All a little seat of the pants for me; but hey I'm here and pretty 8 days out; which can't be at all bad.
It's -11C outside and thus I am delaying my departure for work for as long as I can. The thought of being stuck on a station platform in this weather is too much to bear. As is the thought of the heating bill which will surely follow. During really cold snaps we spend about $15 a day heating this brick and glass heat sieve.
Still the journey outside cannot and will not be put off forever - and thus I shall end this brief but audible sigh and head for work - wrapped head to knee in goose down (if only we'd bought a bigger goose)
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Burning man
I'm thinking of going to BurningMan this year... part Edward Woodward (a man whose name Noel Cowerd said sounded like 'a fart in a bath') Wicker Man horror, part Mad Max desert apocolypse, part hippy festival, part excuse for people to get naked in the desert. The photo ops are amazing and the art is all huge in scale and impact.
That said this is taken from 2005's "Barbie Death Camp & Wine Bistro) a much smaller scale installation than most, but one that's still impactful.
Tickets are a non-hippy friendly $250 and I'd need to get to Nevada but a friend has a Winnibago and a spare ticket and I might just offer to drive across from San Fransisco for the whole thing.
Things to think about
That said this is taken from 2005's "Barbie Death Camp & Wine Bistro) a much smaller scale installation than most, but one that's still impactful.
Tickets are a non-hippy friendly $250 and I'd need to get to Nevada but a friend has a Winnibago and a spare ticket and I might just offer to drive across from San Fransisco for the whole thing.
Things to think about
Thursday, February 01, 2007
I think that this is too stunning a picture
... not to add to my blog. I could do with a little glamor as today felt comfortably mundsane with work slowly coming to life, people coming and going and a very late spicy tofu dinner that I have to say was really rather good.
The day saw me helping a llttle towards some new electronics ideas, had a bunch of students in and ranted endlessly at them, bought them drinks at the bar (they may not have ALL been old enough) and then headed for home and aforementioned spicy tofu stuff.
Breakfast with a recruiter tomorrow (I'm feeding him names, he's keeping me on his radar) then in for lots of company meetings and a lunch with one of the students from tonight (I liked how forward she was, was I ever that confident?)
Now bed is calling (as is Jude) - one more look at this pic and off with me. More profound entries to follow.
The day saw me helping a llttle towards some new electronics ideas, had a bunch of students in and ranted endlessly at them, bought them drinks at the bar (they may not have ALL been old enough) and then headed for home and aforementioned spicy tofu stuff.
Breakfast with a recruiter tomorrow (I'm feeding him names, he's keeping me on his radar) then in for lots of company meetings and a lunch with one of the students from tonight (I liked how forward she was, was I ever that confident?)
Now bed is calling (as is Jude) - one more look at this pic and off with me. More profound entries to follow.
NIce day
Spent the day today talking about new gizmos and gadgets and will spend the evening talking to MA students about advertising.
Bliss
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Weight
I'm reading a book at the moment - not unusual for me I will admit. I rad a lot of books. Or rather I read three quarters of lots of books - either losing them or interest as the days pass and the pages turn. But the book that I'm reading at the moment is a 'look up and realize that you're still on the subway and somewhere in Queens' kind of a book.
It's by Daniel Gilbert (a refreshingly funny pyschologist) and is called "stumbling on happiness)
The font and fronnt quote immediately alerts you that this is a 'Freakonomics' style book - but I find it much more fascinating. Central to the argument at the moment is that we spend half of our time investing in the happiness of a future self who will look back in horror at all that we did (and all that we collected - 'where did this junk come from') and that happiness requires at least the illusion of control.
It's packed with great experiments and nice annecdotes and is quick to dispel advice such as 'live in the moment' as trite, impossible and the recipe for a living limbo that feels a lot like hell (you wanna live in the moment - have a lobotomy)
Anyway the control that I seek most often is over my weight. This is healthier than trying to exert control over somebody else's weight but not a whole family away from anorexia (I have a healthy perspective on my body - I know it's crap right now) but the choosing of a light dinner, my decision to quit drinking, not eat meat and spend at least 30 mins over lunch are all linked, all exercises in control and all investments in my future self.
I'll stop rambling now and have an ultra high fibre breakfast
PS - I LOVE THIS PICTURE, check out more of Esther's work over at flickr
It's by Daniel Gilbert (a refreshingly funny pyschologist) and is called "stumbling on happiness)
The font and fronnt quote immediately alerts you that this is a 'Freakonomics' style book - but I find it much more fascinating. Central to the argument at the moment is that we spend half of our time investing in the happiness of a future self who will look back in horror at all that we did (and all that we collected - 'where did this junk come from') and that happiness requires at least the illusion of control.
It's packed with great experiments and nice annecdotes and is quick to dispel advice such as 'live in the moment' as trite, impossible and the recipe for a living limbo that feels a lot like hell (you wanna live in the moment - have a lobotomy)
Anyway the control that I seek most often is over my weight. This is healthier than trying to exert control over somebody else's weight but not a whole family away from anorexia (I have a healthy perspective on my body - I know it's crap right now) but the choosing of a light dinner, my decision to quit drinking, not eat meat and spend at least 30 mins over lunch are all linked, all exercises in control and all investments in my future self.
I'll stop rambling now and have an ultra high fibre breakfast
PS - I LOVE THIS PICTURE, check out more of Esther's work over at flickr
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Cat Scan!
The CT scans came back clear...
"you're still boring" quoth the Doctor, unimaginatively but with remarkable consistencty
Next one due in April
"you're still boring" quoth the Doctor, unimaginatively but with remarkable consistencty
Next one due in April
Results day
Nasty day today - I have a dentist apppointment this morning - a chip to a tooth that is causing no pain but is making me aware of its presence via a dull throb.
Then it's off to the hospital to get the results of my CT scan. Hopefully it will offer a better result than the one picture here, which I think has some suspicious looking shadows. It's a great image though.
In between I'm writing some recruitment criteria (check) drinking too much coffee (check) and hopefully taking the dog out for a walk in the sub zero temperatures (-3 and sunny as I write)
I think I'll take the camera with me - something tells me that today will be filled with photographic opportunity. My spidey sense is tingling.
Then it's off to the hospital to get the results of my CT scan. Hopefully it will offer a better result than the one picture here, which I think has some suspicious looking shadows. It's a great image though.
In between I'm writing some recruitment criteria (check) drinking too much coffee (check) and hopefully taking the dog out for a walk in the sub zero temperatures (-3 and sunny as I write)
I think I'll take the camera with me - something tells me that today will be filled with photographic opportunity. My spidey sense is tingling.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Way too early
It's Monday morning and I'm up way too early - preparing for a meeting that I won't be running but that feels somehow pivotal to something that has yet to reveal itself.
As I write the car is sitting in front of the screen and the dog, back from daycare and affectionate is retsing her head on my lap. All looks quite idyllic until I turn up covered in cat hair and smelling of dog. Ho-hum.
Okay Velcro needs out and I need to get going - aren't these posts interesting?
As I write the car is sitting in front of the screen and the dog, back from daycare and affectionate is retsing her head on my lap. All looks quite idyllic until I turn up covered in cat hair and smelling of dog. Ho-hum.
Okay Velcro needs out and I need to get going - aren't these posts interesting?
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Back at last
Toronto was fun - if cold. We ended up having to stay a day longer than we wanted to as Air Canada cancelled our flight claiming 'freezing rain' was buggering up their de-icing procedures. No other airline had this problem and later flights took off on time but of course when a delay is weather related the airline doesn't have to compensate its passengers and so we were stuck with a hotel bill and a 9.15am flight home for which Judith was only waitlisted (she was the last person they allowed aboard) and which got us in far too late to meet up with Wahn Yoon and other friends for brunch.
I enjoyed Toronto, it's a cosmoplitan city with a good mix of Europe and the US but visiting did confirm just how hard it's going to be to find a place that isn't going to disappoint after New York. As we decided yesterday - if great jobs came along in Toronto we could move there for them but we wouldn't move to Toronto in search of great jobs.
Busy couple of days coming up. Monday is an all-day meeting at work followed by 'couples drinks' with Faith at her house. Tuesday sees me first at the dentist and then getting the results of my scans. Here's hoping that both go smoothly. We'll see.
I have a 100 things to catch up on here so this will be it for today. More tomorrow
I enjoyed Toronto, it's a cosmoplitan city with a good mix of Europe and the US but visiting did confirm just how hard it's going to be to find a place that isn't going to disappoint after New York. As we decided yesterday - if great jobs came along in Toronto we could move there for them but we wouldn't move to Toronto in search of great jobs.
Busy couple of days coming up. Monday is an all-day meeting at work followed by 'couples drinks' with Faith at her house. Tuesday sees me first at the dentist and then getting the results of my scans. Here's hoping that both go smoothly. We'll see.
I have a 100 things to catch up on here so this will be it for today. More tomorrow
Friday, January 26, 2007
4.28am
And I'm waiting for a cab brave enough to risk the swirling winds and double digit minuses and take me to the airport.
Brrrr
Velcro is at Eva's, the cats I'm not sure about but they certainly see my being up as a proof that it's time they were fed. I bought their silence with some cat milk and will make a run for it before they start to protest again.
Knowing that I had to get up this early made for a very restless night. I woke up at midnight, 2am. 3.30, 3.50 and gave in at 4.10. I will, of course, be absolutely knackered and no use to anyone as of about 9am today. Never allow other people to book your tickets... there's a life lesson.
Still it's good to be getting away - if only for a day or two and I am looking forward to exploring
Hope that you have weekends a little more fun than usual, it's -15C in Toronto so not taking the camera (it'll freeze, the battery will run dry and my fingers will fall off)... back Sturday night anyway
Brrrr
Velcro is at Eva's, the cats I'm not sure about but they certainly see my being up as a proof that it's time they were fed. I bought their silence with some cat milk and will make a run for it before they start to protest again.
Knowing that I had to get up this early made for a very restless night. I woke up at midnight, 2am. 3.30, 3.50 and gave in at 4.10. I will, of course, be absolutely knackered and no use to anyone as of about 9am today. Never allow other people to book your tickets... there's a life lesson.
Still it's good to be getting away - if only for a day or two and I am looking forward to exploring
Hope that you have weekends a little more fun than usual, it's -15C in Toronto so not taking the camera (it'll freeze, the battery will run dry and my fingers will fall off)... back Sturday night anyway
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Here it comes
I'm really hoping that my plane tomorrow morning (it's a 6.15am flight so I need to be at the airport by 4.45am) manages to take off. The Canadian Lakes are gearing up to dump cold air on us and the weather people are gleeful about the soon to be felt high winds, squalls and sub, sub zero temperatures.
We're talking about temps of -12C that feel like temps of -27C. And that's in New York. It will be the coldest day since Jan 2005 and of course it's the day that I need to leave the ground on time. We'll see.
No word on scan results yet but I'm sure that they'll come along in their own sweet time. I'll just add a little sucrose to the mix and hurry sweet time along a little.
More - and more entertaining - later today. It's too early for this.
We're talking about temps of -12C that feel like temps of -27C. And that's in New York. It will be the coldest day since Jan 2005 and of course it's the day that I need to leave the ground on time. We'll see.
No word on scan results yet but I'm sure that they'll come along in their own sweet time. I'll just add a little sucrose to the mix and hurry sweet time along a little.
More - and more entertaining - later today. It's too early for this.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Gearing up for Toronto
I'm not entirely sure that one gears up for Toronto, I'm told it's too laid back a place for any upward gearing. But I'm looking forward to the trip anyway - despite it having a ridiculously early start. It's gonna be nice to get away and be forced out of my comfortable Friday night rut and into exploring - or as much exploring as the cold allows.
Don't have my scan results yet - which is a good sign I think. Certainly all of my experience points towards a call from the doctor when all isn't well. I do need to call Adela today and set up an appointment to see him between his public speaking and his golfing engagements. That's not fair I know but I think that Thurs is 'clinic day' and I do wonder what he does the rest of the time.
Work is finally weighting up enough that I feel busy, i if not useful. Hard to get used to being the 'know nothing' personin the room and harder still to embrace a process that works at a much slower rate than you like to personally. I can see that it works, I just need to figure out how it's going to work when I run it.
Still worried about my ability to gain weight at the drop of a hat and my inabiliy to grow much hair at all. But the thyroid checked out fine and the scans might offer a clue. As might the fact that the gym sessions have been ramping up and we're looking at muscle building rather than fat burning. Still 5lbs in two days isn't a normal weight gain - unless it's all water, in which case I guess I'm the Dead Sea.
Okay enough of this gloomy noodling - breakfast, dog walk, work
Don't have my scan results yet - which is a good sign I think. Certainly all of my experience points towards a call from the doctor when all isn't well. I do need to call Adela today and set up an appointment to see him between his public speaking and his golfing engagements. That's not fair I know but I think that Thurs is 'clinic day' and I do wonder what he does the rest of the time.
Work is finally weighting up enough that I feel busy, i if not useful. Hard to get used to being the 'know nothing' personin the room and harder still to embrace a process that works at a much slower rate than you like to personally. I can see that it works, I just need to figure out how it's going to work when I run it.
Still worried about my ability to gain weight at the drop of a hat and my inabiliy to grow much hair at all. But the thyroid checked out fine and the scans might offer a clue. As might the fact that the gym sessions have been ramping up and we're looking at muscle building rather than fat burning. Still 5lbs in two days isn't a normal weight gain - unless it's all water, in which case I guess I'm the Dead Sea.
Okay enough of this gloomy noodling - breakfast, dog walk, work
Monday, January 22, 2007
A year since Chemo
Saturday was one year since I started chemo... thought that I'd reprint the two chemo posts from a year ago by way of 'celebration'
Looking at a long old day today. Standard chemo takes about an hour to administer... but the R part of CHOP R takes 5 hrs the first time.. infusion reactins are common and the slower they go the less likely I am to become a shivering wreck. Add in blood work and the all important Insurance Checks and you're looking at a 10 hr day.
Have loaded up the i-pod (Cyndi Lauper - The Body Acoustic). the DVD player (Deadwood Series One) and have my taking forever to read Roddy Doyle book with me (the one where the Irish guy comes to New York in the 20s) so I'm as ready as I think I can be... and looking forward to actually starting treatment.
September seems a long time ago - but that's when the cough started and when I had the first x-ray. Starting today means being finished end of July (and end of World Cup) meaning that I can start in the gym ahead of a September beach holiday. OK, maybe October (we'll head south) - besides September is the US Open and perfect, perfect weather.
Time to head off...
Well yesterday was long - but not unpleasant.
Everything went pretty much to schedule and to plan... I needed a break from the Rituxin at 100ml / hr, but a benedril shot fixed that and the rest of the infusion passed without incident and I got up to 300ml / hr without incident.
Had an M&M meets injection of orange goop vomitting spell toward the end of the day... never has vomit so closely related ad' - a whilrl, swirly, chocolate kaleidoscope of color.
Everything else was unremarkable.
Got home last night, slept well, took all the drugs suggested and feel good today... slightly strange, but by no means sick. Have walked the dog, picked up more drugs and checked football scores, brunch later... of course next couple of days will be the real test of how things are really going; worst comes at 3-5 days I'm told.
We shall see
hemo +3 today and I'm up early and ready to head in and get my white blood cell boosting shot of 'as seen on TV' Neurestra (?)
Last three days have been the tale of three coughs. Saturday my tight cough of 4 months became a deep, chesty. booming thing that had me coughing up old wounds, bits of body and (for an hour over brunch) rather a lot of blood.
Day two was less bellowing - but no return to the love lorn seal bark of yore. Lots of nasty thick phlegm yesterday.
And today, much better. What a restaurant might describe as a 'stunningly light cappucino foam' - certainly the lighest cough (and the lightest 'product' of that cough) in months and months.
Of course by way of recompense (the universe demands payment after all) I woke up singing the Boyzone version of the Cat Stevens song 'Father and Son' - at 7am!
Not the most pleasant of posts I admit - but feeling sparkly good here today, let's see how long I can keep this going
No coughing today - which is miraculous.
Managed to get out and about quite a bit and to move with phlegmatic impunity until the early afternoon when my back started to ache like a rotten tooth in a Robin Williams movie. It's agony and my immediately turning into Albert Steptoe has done nothing to help matters.
Other stuff.
Bought a vacuum cleaner with a 7 year warranty - there's optimism! - it's Italian - there's more
Started to resent unfit looking smokers - bastards, who gave you the good genes?
My brother announced / admitted that he's about to become a dad - in 7 weeks. It's a girl
Walked through the Polish part of town - marvelling at how only in NYC can you go from hip to hip replacement in 3 blocks
Fell in love with Newborns at Ralph Lauren - making me the gayest straight man in the world (but c'mon cashmeer kimonos)
Took a pic in which I looked terrible - then posted it anyway in a 'see I AM sick' statement
Looking at a long old day today. Standard chemo takes about an hour to administer... but the R part of CHOP R takes 5 hrs the first time.. infusion reactins are common and the slower they go the less likely I am to become a shivering wreck. Add in blood work and the all important Insurance Checks and you're looking at a 10 hr day.
Have loaded up the i-pod (Cyndi Lauper - The Body Acoustic). the DVD player (Deadwood Series One) and have my taking forever to read Roddy Doyle book with me (the one where the Irish guy comes to New York in the 20s) so I'm as ready as I think I can be... and looking forward to actually starting treatment.
September seems a long time ago - but that's when the cough started and when I had the first x-ray. Starting today means being finished end of July (and end of World Cup) meaning that I can start in the gym ahead of a September beach holiday. OK, maybe October (we'll head south) - besides September is the US Open and perfect, perfect weather.
Time to head off...
Well yesterday was long - but not unpleasant.
Everything went pretty much to schedule and to plan... I needed a break from the Rituxin at 100ml / hr, but a benedril shot fixed that and the rest of the infusion passed without incident and I got up to 300ml / hr without incident.
Had an M&M meets injection of orange goop vomitting spell toward the end of the day... never has vomit so closely related ad' - a whilrl, swirly, chocolate kaleidoscope of color.
Everything else was unremarkable.
Got home last night, slept well, took all the drugs suggested and feel good today... slightly strange, but by no means sick. Have walked the dog, picked up more drugs and checked football scores, brunch later... of course next couple of days will be the real test of how things are really going; worst comes at 3-5 days I'm told.
We shall see
hemo +3 today and I'm up early and ready to head in and get my white blood cell boosting shot of 'as seen on TV' Neurestra (?)
Last three days have been the tale of three coughs. Saturday my tight cough of 4 months became a deep, chesty. booming thing that had me coughing up old wounds, bits of body and (for an hour over brunch) rather a lot of blood.
Day two was less bellowing - but no return to the love lorn seal bark of yore. Lots of nasty thick phlegm yesterday.
And today, much better. What a restaurant might describe as a 'stunningly light cappucino foam' - certainly the lighest cough (and the lightest 'product' of that cough) in months and months.
Of course by way of recompense (the universe demands payment after all) I woke up singing the Boyzone version of the Cat Stevens song 'Father and Son' - at 7am!
Not the most pleasant of posts I admit - but feeling sparkly good here today, let's see how long I can keep this going
No coughing today - which is miraculous.
Managed to get out and about quite a bit and to move with phlegmatic impunity until the early afternoon when my back started to ache like a rotten tooth in a Robin Williams movie. It's agony and my immediately turning into Albert Steptoe has done nothing to help matters.
Other stuff.
Bought a vacuum cleaner with a 7 year warranty - there's optimism! - it's Italian - there's more
Started to resent unfit looking smokers - bastards, who gave you the good genes?
My brother announced / admitted that he's about to become a dad - in 7 weeks. It's a girl
Walked through the Polish part of town - marvelling at how only in NYC can you go from hip to hip replacement in 3 blocks
Fell in love with Newborns at Ralph Lauren - making me the gayest straight man in the world (but c'mon cashmeer kimonos)
Took a pic in which I looked terrible - then posted it anyway in a 'see I AM sick' statement
I have a meeting today
with a client whose name I'm not allowed to speak - even within the walls of the agency. It's not my meeting or even a meeting in which we have to do much other than listen and take notes but the fact that there are going to be new people there and that I'm new at this meant that I found it very difficult to sleep last night - I just kept waking up and wondering what the day was going to be like and worrying that I might have missed something and will be forced to perform unprepared, leaving the worst kind of impression.
I do hope it's not too long before I start taking things in my stride here. It's not tough work, no ditches are being dug and I'm smart enough to get stuff done without too many hitches, glitches and balls ups.
But still the stomach is knotted
I do hope it's not too long before I start taking things in my stride here. It's not tough work, no ditches are being dug and I'm smart enough to get stuff done without too many hitches, glitches and balls ups.
But still the stomach is knotted
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Very little to report here
the weather is cold but not nearly as sexy as you might imagine from this pic.
It's all blustery winds and aching ears here.
Silent negotiations are taking place over who takes the dog out and who gets to play their game on the bigger of the screens in the house. Each look, each sigh, each indication of comfort a plea to be let off the hook.
It's going to be a long winter
It's all blustery winds and aching ears here.
Silent negotiations are taking place over who takes the dog out and who gets to play their game on the bigger of the screens in the house. Each look, each sigh, each indication of comfort a plea to be let off the hook.
It's going to be a long winter
Friday, January 19, 2007
I love nyc
and I'm not sure where else I'd be as happy
went to see "at least it's pink" tonight
Took this pic on the way home
Man I love this place
went to see "at least it's pink" tonight
Took this pic on the way home
Man I love this place
Close-up of Voter Card (chip)
So as I sat in the waiting room of the doctor's office yesterday - fighting for the pen that would enable me to fill in all of the details demanded by the papre attached to the 'welcome clipboard' I started to wonder why the insurance company - who has all of the details asked for - didn't put them on my health insurance card - which I have to carry to an appointment anyway.
How much easier 'check in' would be if we could all swipe our cards and give the hospital honest, accurate records (I lied about my weight - just a pound or two) there and then - rather than having to try to recall what we had, when we had it and which box that info goes into.
It can't be be hard - can it?
Scan went well - though midway through they had me drink some fizzy concoction designed to bloat me - it did and I was too vain to go out last night looking that way. I'll call for an appointment for results next week and should get it for the week after (specialists see patients between rounds of golf and media glad handling)
Anyway thanks for all of the good wishes - here's hoping that it's June before I need them again
How much easier 'check in' would be if we could all swipe our cards and give the hospital honest, accurate records (I lied about my weight - just a pound or two) there and then - rather than having to try to recall what we had, when we had it and which box that info goes into.
It can't be be hard - can it?
Scan went well - though midway through they had me drink some fizzy concoction designed to bloat me - it did and I was too vain to go out last night looking that way. I'll call for an appointment for results next week and should get it for the week after (specialists see patients between rounds of golf and media glad handling)
Anyway thanks for all of the good wishes - here's hoping that it's June before I need them again
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Desperation
I'm beginning to think that maybe desperation has a scent. During my 4 years and 2 days in my last job I was clawing the walls in search of an escape and the need for exit oozed from every pore.
Since I left - and since I've consequently relaxed - I have job offers flying at me from all directions. Interesting stuff. Senior stuff. Proper, in charge, work. It's a fantastic feeling and comes from my being more interested in the opportunity than in fleeing a situation.
Of course tomorrow is a powerless day - as I have a CT scan (corridor, barium, long waits, iodine, tingly feelings, yellow exit forms and no alcohol) but I've managed to sandwich it between the gym at 8am and a meeting with an old acquaintance whose company I always enjoy - so at least the day won't be totally wasted
Since I left - and since I've consequently relaxed - I have job offers flying at me from all directions. Interesting stuff. Senior stuff. Proper, in charge, work. It's a fantastic feeling and comes from my being more interested in the opportunity than in fleeing a situation.
Of course tomorrow is a powerless day - as I have a CT scan (corridor, barium, long waits, iodine, tingly feelings, yellow exit forms and no alcohol) but I've managed to sandwich it between the gym at 8am and a meeting with an old acquaintance whose company I always enjoy - so at least the day won't be totally wasted
Winter
It's finally hit us. I woke up this morning to brilliant sunny skies and a temperature of minus 5.8C (-5.8C)... listen closely enough and you can hear a collective sigh of relief being let out across the city - maybe, just maybe, this isn't the 'end of days' after all.
I'm pretty busy today - which has to be good and will stop me thinking about CT scans tomorrow; better still. The idea of all of that bloody liquid being forced into me, cup by cup in 10 minute intervals is always the worst thing about CT scans. I'd much prefer an IV though my right arm is completely shot from the 5 rounds of chemo. The veins used to be great but have turned to Play Doh and now offer no resistance to needles and allow no blood through them. If I DO need more chemo it's probably going to have to be through a port - places just above the collar bone. But I'm getting way ahead of myself here.
Anyway the dog needs out (brrrr) and I need to be in the city in 45 mins so I'll sign off here and wish y'all bon jour
I'm pretty busy today - which has to be good and will stop me thinking about CT scans tomorrow; better still. The idea of all of that bloody liquid being forced into me, cup by cup in 10 minute intervals is always the worst thing about CT scans. I'd much prefer an IV though my right arm is completely shot from the 5 rounds of chemo. The veins used to be great but have turned to Play Doh and now offer no resistance to needles and allow no blood through them. If I DO need more chemo it's probably going to have to be through a port - places just above the collar bone. But I'm getting way ahead of myself here.
Anyway the dog needs out (brrrr) and I need to be in the city in 45 mins so I'll sign off here and wish y'all bon jour
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Moby featuring Debbie Harry - New York New York
I've been watching Bridget Everett build her career forever now, it's been frustratingly slow but with 'At least it's Pink' now a REAL show (opening tonight) and a role as Tammy in this, I think that she's on her way. I hope so.
Great track too. That's Moby btw... not me
I love this picture
... I've not taken very many pictures in the last week - it's a very small office and a very wet winter, confining me to that office and to only partially willing subjects. But I"m hoping to get some tonight, if you'll pardon the expression.
Not a great deal new to report as I hover in this holding pattern, my life on hold as I wait to find out from scans whether I can live another 6 months free from treatment and from work what my next move will be. Lots of people have said 'enjoy it, coast along for a bit' - but my fear is that it's not coasting, it's my treading water in a very cold ocean unaware of the hypothermia even as my skin turns grey.
I like that image, quite dramatic in a Titanic with Leo kind of way.
Anyway I'm running late and my toast just 'popped' so it's time I ran. Bonjour tout la monde (or something)
Not a great deal new to report as I hover in this holding pattern, my life on hold as I wait to find out from scans whether I can live another 6 months free from treatment and from work what my next move will be. Lots of people have said 'enjoy it, coast along for a bit' - but my fear is that it's not coasting, it's my treading water in a very cold ocean unaware of the hypothermia even as my skin turns grey.
I like that image, quite dramatic in a Titanic with Leo kind of way.
Anyway I'm running late and my toast just 'popped' so it's time I ran. Bonjour tout la monde (or something)
Monday, January 15, 2007
But will it suck like a Dyson?
This week looks crappy. I've already had a meeting cancelled. Jude has to go up to school. The weather is stuck on London Drizzle and threatening to turn to bone chilling cold. The cat has a new habit of licking my hands as I type and I'm going to spend at least half of Thursday sucking down Barium disguised as a liquid and the other half trying to flush iodine out of my system - all the while knowing that I'm going to be responsible for payment as my $2000 excess has yet to be dented.
So we already know that it's going to suck - but will it suck like a Dyson and keep on sucking (hard) or will it suck like a baby and let go once it's extracted its dose of misery. Stay tuned for what I'm sur will be many rants from the dark side.
So we already know that it's going to suck - but will it suck like a Dyson and keep on sucking (hard) or will it suck like a baby and let go once it's extracted its dose of misery. Stay tuned for what I'm sur will be many rants from the dark side.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
baldie
Despite the facial hair making a bit of a comeback (no more Hitler style moustaches half way through the day, but still big smooth patches on my cheeks) I'm still not really managing to grow any hair on my head.
Odd, a little disconcerting and hellish aging.
makes me look like this
Odd, a little disconcerting and hellish aging.
makes me look like this
Vacation
Well I have a trip to Toronto booked for the 26th... Jude and I really want to see the city and I finally got an excuse to go there; but of course it's not Toronto that's really on my mind at the moment.
We're also looking to book something in May - a kind of post PhD getaway that will have us fit, strong and ready to deal with the freedom offered to us once the tyranny of timetables is lifted.
Jude's mom is coming along and we're trying to get an answer out of her brother - for whom commitment to anything beyond saying yes to more food is near impossible.
Right now I'm looking at places in Barbados. A Villa for 5 people would come in at around US$90 per person, per night. There's enough to do beyond the beach and you're not likely to get mistaken for a cruise ship passenger and stabbed in the face.
Of course there are quieter places - Mustique for example - but it will be nice to have some activities to consider and some life beyond the beach.
Anyway need to speak to the Mrs and Misses Hompe and then to book asap - these things fill up fast and direct flights (4hrs 30mins) are thin on the ground.
I, btw, have scans on Thursday of this week. More details when I know them
We're also looking to book something in May - a kind of post PhD getaway that will have us fit, strong and ready to deal with the freedom offered to us once the tyranny of timetables is lifted.
Jude's mom is coming along and we're trying to get an answer out of her brother - for whom commitment to anything beyond saying yes to more food is near impossible.
Right now I'm looking at places in Barbados. A Villa for 5 people would come in at around US$90 per person, per night. There's enough to do beyond the beach and you're not likely to get mistaken for a cruise ship passenger and stabbed in the face.
Of course there are quieter places - Mustique for example - but it will be nice to have some activities to consider and some life beyond the beach.
Anyway need to speak to the Mrs and Misses Hompe and then to book asap - these things fill up fast and direct flights (4hrs 30mins) are thin on the ground.
I, btw, have scans on Thursday of this week. More details when I know them
Friday, January 12, 2007
Pollution
Faith Popcorn reckons that this is the year that we start to rail against mental pollution and the constant junk, chatter abd crap that is projected at us day after day, hour after hour. Here in New York city we get a commercial message every 19 seconds - making a 30 second commercial 11 seconds too long and causing most people to put up the walls, turn up the i-pod and feign death.
Meanwhile my friend william is trying to sell airlines on a miles for trees program that could make flights carbon neutral and I'm trying to sell a bank on a Carbon Neutral Car loan - where they plant enough trees to offset the 12,000 miles a year that I'm going to be driving rather than pay a huge commission to a broker and of course Jude is looking at corporate governance and sustaintable strategy.
Perhaps, just perhaps, one of us will make a difference soon,
Oh - and should get scan dates today
Meanwhile my friend william is trying to sell airlines on a miles for trees program that could make flights carbon neutral and I'm trying to sell a bank on a Carbon Neutral Car loan - where they plant enough trees to offset the 12,000 miles a year that I'm going to be driving rather than pay a huge commission to a broker and of course Jude is looking at corporate governance and sustaintable strategy.
Perhaps, just perhaps, one of us will make a difference soon,
Oh - and should get scan dates today
Thursday, January 11, 2007
still waiting
Okay I'm still waiting on dates for scans but a call to the hospital this morning resulted in the lind of 'I think I saw an approval on the fax machine somewhere... but it's clinic day... can I call you later call' that's leaves you unsatisfied in much the same way as hollow sex with a soapy madame (allegedly)
I"ve not told my second hand soapy mistress story on here, have I? Okay here goes - a friend of mine calls up to my hotel room in a bit of a panic. "I think I've killed my hooker" he says. Ever ignorant of the accessory to the fact laws of many countries I head down to investigate.
I arrive in a long, narrow room (with nasty but inevitable shower stall in corner) to find said friend sitting on an inflatable matress on a floor covered in soapy suds with a dauntingly still Thai woman in the corner.
The service paid for had been 'soapy massage' - but the woman had been a little over eager. She's laid down said friend on the mattress and filled the room with fairy liquid (or the Thai Version thereof) and had proceeded to slide across his increasingly slippery body with her equally hard to handle torso. Until, in a moment of uncharacteristic enthusiasm, she had set off to the back of the room in order to gather further momentum for the launch that she then embarked upon... hurling herself with some force toward him - only to skip off, be propelled in an upwardly direction by the compressed and decompressed air-mattress and plant herself, face first in the wall. Cueing phone call and my arrival.
Luckily she wasn't dead, he wasn't naked when I arrived and soon everyone was patched up and either richer or poorer as was deemed appropriate.
What a cheery tale of prostitution, debasement and western arrogance
I"ve not told my second hand soapy mistress story on here, have I? Okay here goes - a friend of mine calls up to my hotel room in a bit of a panic. "I think I've killed my hooker" he says. Ever ignorant of the accessory to the fact laws of many countries I head down to investigate.
I arrive in a long, narrow room (with nasty but inevitable shower stall in corner) to find said friend sitting on an inflatable matress on a floor covered in soapy suds with a dauntingly still Thai woman in the corner.
The service paid for had been 'soapy massage' - but the woman had been a little over eager. She's laid down said friend on the mattress and filled the room with fairy liquid (or the Thai Version thereof) and had proceeded to slide across his increasingly slippery body with her equally hard to handle torso. Until, in a moment of uncharacteristic enthusiasm, she had set off to the back of the room in order to gather further momentum for the launch that she then embarked upon... hurling herself with some force toward him - only to skip off, be propelled in an upwardly direction by the compressed and decompressed air-mattress and plant herself, face first in the wall. Cueing phone call and my arrival.
Luckily she wasn't dead, he wasn't naked when I arrived and soon everyone was patched up and either richer or poorer as was deemed appropriate.
What a cheery tale of prostitution, debasement and western arrogance
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
A genuine US Patent
Thanks to Patently Silly for this one
Penile Volumetric Measuring Device
patent#: US 7147609
Penis size: For too long (puns are inevitable when discussing the subject), it has escaped the rigorous analysis of modern science and has been left prone to self-serving exaggeration. Thankfully, one fearless inventor has arrived to clear the field of biased pseudoscience:
"Throughout history, there has been discussion and focus on the human male sex organ. Generally, having a large penis is seen as more masculine and manly than having a small penis. Well-endowed male pornography stars are looked at by many with admiration and envy due to the size of their penis."
"there is a remarkable lack of convenient and accurate methods for measuring the penis. Most men merely take a ruler and measure the size of their penis in inches. However, to adequately describe the size of a penis the length alone is not enough. Nor is it enough to know the diameter at an arbitrary point. The penis is not shaped like a true cylinder, but rather it has a more complicated shape. Therefore, a method for measuring the size of a penis needs to account for the unusual shape and size of the human penis."
In the short 22 centuries since Archimedes first shouted Eureka from his bathtub, inventor Jason Turner has applied the same techniques of fluid displacement to accurately measure the one-eyed trouser snake.
Of course, scientific breakthroughs can often be met with fierce resistance: Knowledge is power, but the truth, if small enough, can hurt.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
12 minutes to midnight
It's 12 minutes to midnight here and I've just been going through New Year's Eve pictures. I look bloated, jowly, bald and avuncular - at best. This is not the look that I was going for - and once again the commitment to the new diet and exercise program is enhanced. New Year's Eve kinda sees the whole world turn into Vegas for the night, doesn't it? It's a kind of wholesome vice - more naughty than nasty (on the surface anyway) that somehow seems state sanctioned. Of course all over the world there are people trying to recreate that famous Times Square kiss - Jude and a strange woman (or rather a woman who was a stranger) try their own version here. Also the woman was too short and too drunk to reach much above the nipple but hey, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas - right?
Pushing the button?
I wish I had someone to police my internal panic button... someone to stop me reaching for the 'Send' icon on my e-mail. A little voice that says 'try DRAFT'... or "Now is not the time"
Perhaps I thrive on paranoid conspiracy and drama... or perhaps they're really out there and plotting to not pay / fire / kill us.
Anyway suffice to say that today is a day that I'm imagining the cry of 'Panic Stations' and a Clive Dunn style flap. Nothing serious - just ascendent shit and a fan spinning mercilessly. We will handle it.
Perhaps I thrive on paranoid conspiracy and drama... or perhaps they're really out there and plotting to not pay / fire / kill us.
Anyway suffice to say that today is a day that I'm imagining the cry of 'Panic Stations' and a Clive Dunn style flap. Nothing serious - just ascendent shit and a fan spinning mercilessly. We will handle it.
Monday, January 08, 2007
MRI
I have quite a few of these coming up in the near future. My scans were due in December but the insurance company stalled knowing that I was about to change providers and the new company is demanding to go through all of my records before signing off on the money for me to go ahead again.
These rooms are always incredibly cold - and the gowns that they give you always just the wrong side of the indecent. Though I quickly learned to ask for two and to wear the first backwards - thus ensuring that you're covered right up to the moment when you haul your legs skyward to enter the magnetic donut itself.
The weirdest thing about getting a scan is that despite having a large, warm and well appointed waiting room every hospital and scan center moves you into a corridor when it's time to swallow the barium and wait the requisite hour for treatment. I have no idea why. Perhaps semi-depression and a stiff draught help clarify the image.
Of course as it gets closer to scan times you become more aware of everything going on in your body, I'm hyper-aware of every swollen node, bout of bloating, half pound shift in weight and cough at the moment. It's actually a very strange feeling - being suddenly in touch and in tune with yourself. You start to do more, to eat better and to go to bed that little bit earlier.
And of course the idea that you're about to have your mortality measured means that you up the fun quotient. Right now I really don't care how potentially embarrassing / mortifying a situation might be. I have no shame. I'm joining things. I'm taking part in life again. I'm a participant. Which of course makes me realize that I'm too often a coaster and an observor of life. But - aren't we all?
These rooms are always incredibly cold - and the gowns that they give you always just the wrong side of the indecent. Though I quickly learned to ask for two and to wear the first backwards - thus ensuring that you're covered right up to the moment when you haul your legs skyward to enter the magnetic donut itself.
The weirdest thing about getting a scan is that despite having a large, warm and well appointed waiting room every hospital and scan center moves you into a corridor when it's time to swallow the barium and wait the requisite hour for treatment. I have no idea why. Perhaps semi-depression and a stiff draught help clarify the image.
Of course as it gets closer to scan times you become more aware of everything going on in your body, I'm hyper-aware of every swollen node, bout of bloating, half pound shift in weight and cough at the moment. It's actually a very strange feeling - being suddenly in touch and in tune with yourself. You start to do more, to eat better and to go to bed that little bit earlier.
And of course the idea that you're about to have your mortality measured means that you up the fun quotient. Right now I really don't care how potentially embarrassing / mortifying a situation might be. I have no shame. I'm joining things. I'm taking part in life again. I'm a participant. Which of course makes me realize that I'm too often a coaster and an observor of life. But - aren't we all?
Back at work this week
and still no real sign that anyone is concerned that I'm costing a small fortune and doing almost nothing. I on the other hand am very concerned. But then concern is something that I mastered many moons ago.
The outside world today smells of gas - there's a leak in Greenwich Village by all accounts - train suspensions; the works.
This isn't very interesting is it? Though I read this definition of an advertising insight this morning
"An insight states a truth that alters the way you look at the world"
Not earth shattering... but a good, solid, workable definition
The outside world today smells of gas - there's a leak in Greenwich Village by all accounts - train suspensions; the works.
This isn't very interesting is it? Though I read this definition of an advertising insight this morning
"An insight states a truth that alters the way you look at the world"
Not earth shattering... but a good, solid, workable definition
Saturday, January 06, 2007
top spot
It's 21C here today (I know) so took the dog for a long walk and spotted this bird - it keep attacking gulls and sweeping low across the park...
Used a digi zoom to get in close - hence the noise and blur but if anyone knows what kind of bird it is I'd love to hear from you
Used a digi zoom to get in close - hence the noise and blur but if anyone knows what kind of bird it is I'd love to hear from you
Thursday, January 04, 2007
I need to take better pictures
I've been spending too much time in Flickr recently - getting turned on to really good photography... and by really good photographers.
Having no co-ordination means that attempts at drawing always end in frustration so photography is the closest I get to real artistic expression. Not that I've done much good photography it has to be said - but I like that too.
There's a discipline to photography that makes it an art that I feel I can attempt to master the art. A mixtire of science and dumb luck that means I always feel as though I have a chance of taking something great. And that practice can improve those odds of lucky accident.
I always said that lives need some passion and some beauty... and now I think that I mean it. I can think of nothing sadder than a passionless life and nothing crueler than an absence of beauty.
But that might be the wine talking. Time I think - for bed
Oh - scans being booked for January... a couple of weeks late - change of insurer and all but all in hand... this time am gonna photograph my innards and post them... nice huh?
Having no co-ordination means that attempts at drawing always end in frustration so photography is the closest I get to real artistic expression. Not that I've done much good photography it has to be said - but I like that too.
There's a discipline to photography that makes it an art that I feel I can attempt to master the art. A mixtire of science and dumb luck that means I always feel as though I have a chance of taking something great. And that practice can improve those odds of lucky accident.
I always said that lives need some passion and some beauty... and now I think that I mean it. I can think of nothing sadder than a passionless life and nothing crueler than an absence of beauty.
But that might be the wine talking. Time I think - for bed
Oh - scans being booked for January... a couple of weeks late - change of insurer and all but all in hand... this time am gonna photograph my innards and post them... nice huh?
I'm starting to miss the summer
mainly because this summer was the first since childhood that I'd had completely free. I was cancer free but still on 'sick leave' so I was healthy and being paid healthy amounts of cash... whiich meant that I could go and allow the grass to grow under my feet - an experience made all the sweeter by the knowledge that millions upon millions of people were locked under flourescent light, wasting time at cubicles and waiting for the weekend or a 'summer Friday'
I guess that this was the first summer that I actually appreciated. And now it's gone. Sure it's terrifyingly warm for January but I'm still left reaching for a coat and trying hard to negotiate my way out of at least one dog walk a week.
I think that's why I'm kinda yearning for a more flexible gig. I don't want to be bored in the office or too busy to notice life happening beyond the walls of my service. I wnat to be able to step outside when I want to step outside and have some time to think, to contemplate, to lay down in the sun and do nothing. I'm hoping that Jude's return to the workplace will allow me some of that freedom as it will probably move us out of the city and me into consultancy. There again we may decide that New York is too hard a place to leave... in which case I think that we'll both go 'part time' and enjoy longer, more languid days in the sun.
Here's to summer '07 huh?
I guess that this was the first summer that I actually appreciated. And now it's gone. Sure it's terrifyingly warm for January but I'm still left reaching for a coat and trying hard to negotiate my way out of at least one dog walk a week.
I think that's why I'm kinda yearning for a more flexible gig. I don't want to be bored in the office or too busy to notice life happening beyond the walls of my service. I wnat to be able to step outside when I want to step outside and have some time to think, to contemplate, to lay down in the sun and do nothing. I'm hoping that Jude's return to the workplace will allow me some of that freedom as it will probably move us out of the city and me into consultancy. There again we may decide that New York is too hard a place to leave... in which case I think that we'll both go 'part time' and enjoy longer, more languid days in the sun.
Here's to summer '07 huh?
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Another resolution
"Half as many meetings... twice as many decisions"
Feeling very chipper today - baked bread, took the dog for a walk, made the cat sneeze (somehow) and heard from some people I'd not heard from in an age... must be all of those speculative Happy New Years I've been throwing out to people that I've met and liked over time.
Work has yet to really kick in for me though I can see the start of some projects on the horizon - in the meantime I'm going to use the idle hours to do the research that I need for the books... that ought to keep me going.
Anyway am later than James Brown here (does that pun work?) so have to run to the JMZ - which will taunt me by holding the train I need just one stop away for hours on end - its headlights ablaze with possibility as more and more people arrive, lean out over the platform and - by force of collective will alone - drag it ever closer. It's long been my theory that the trains here don't run by electricity or diesel but by the collective nervous energy generated by people waiting. Should I have shared that? Oh what the hell - I shared Stool Softners, bloody bread baskets and the texture of the pieces of lung I coughed up - why start being coy now?
Feeling very chipper today - baked bread, took the dog for a walk, made the cat sneeze (somehow) and heard from some people I'd not heard from in an age... must be all of those speculative Happy New Years I've been throwing out to people that I've met and liked over time.
Work has yet to really kick in for me though I can see the start of some projects on the horizon - in the meantime I'm going to use the idle hours to do the research that I need for the books... that ought to keep me going.
Anyway am later than James Brown here (does that pun work?) so have to run to the JMZ - which will taunt me by holding the train I need just one stop away for hours on end - its headlights ablaze with possibility as more and more people arrive, lean out over the platform and - by force of collective will alone - drag it ever closer. It's long been my theory that the trains here don't run by electricity or diesel but by the collective nervous energy generated by people waiting. Should I have shared that? Oh what the hell - I shared Stool Softners, bloody bread baskets and the texture of the pieces of lung I coughed up - why start being coy now?
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
My new business card pic
limited in choice by the amount of pics showing my quadruple chin...
still here's the one I picked.... what do you reckon?
Hi-Ho
hi-ho... it's back to work I go - and whilst it's true that I won't be skipping merrily towards the train station this morning it's also true that I won't be crawling toward it full of dread and half baked reasons to turn around and head for home.
It will be interesting to see how long it takes before I really get busy on something - in the meanwhile I'll throw myself into a couple of minor projects and see just how shiny I can make them.
It will be interesting to see how long it takes before I really get busy on something - in the meanwhile I'll throw myself into a couple of minor projects and see just how shiny I can make them.
Monday, January 01, 2007
2007....
I had planned on heading down to the Coney Island Polar Bear Dip today - but as it's pouring with rain and 12C I don't think that I'll be able to get a picture as good as this one - so I'll use it instead and stay at home readying myself for a return to work tomorrow.
last night was fun - which is more than you can generally expect of a New Year's Eve. I didn't see the ball (or World Famous Bob's breasts) drop at midnight, I didn't see the fireworks - or hear whether Ryan Seacrest really said "2006.... out" but I was surrounded by bright, bubbly, drunk people - great wine, okay food and a glow of goodwill.
So here's to 2007 - thanks to all of you who have managed to stick with this increasinglt ego-centric blog over the past 6 months or so.... better writing to come this New Year I promise
last night was fun - which is more than you can generally expect of a New Year's Eve. I didn't see the ball (or World Famous Bob's breasts) drop at midnight, I didn't see the fireworks - or hear whether Ryan Seacrest really said "2006.... out" but I was surrounded by bright, bubbly, drunk people - great wine, okay food and a glow of goodwill.
So here's to 2007 - thanks to all of you who have managed to stick with this increasinglt ego-centric blog over the past 6 months or so.... better writing to come this New Year I promise
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Weighty thoughts at the turn of the year
I do find that New year posts tend to demand a thoughtfulness that I'm not prepared to give them. Retrospect is another of my weaknessess - I tend to disapprove of stories (repotage) and roar with laughter at annecdotes (and the racconteur). If it doesn't have a punchline dearie, don't bother (as I'm sure some Oscar Wile obsessed teen queen / pop star once lisped)
Of course the blog hasn't had an annecdote in an absolute age - which is why I'm rather looking forward to a whole new batch of tests in the New Year. All routine - but all neccessitating my meeting a fresh bunch of people, in stressful circumstance over a long enough period of time to cast them in my mind and give them lines to say that might not be accurate but are always truthful.
I've spent much of the morning trawling through the UK Pantomime scene - looking for John Inman, Christopher Biggins and of course - The Krankies. The Krankies are in Darlington this year (again) and will be glad of the work as television bookings for aging men married to midgets who dress up as small boys (only to be regularly 'put across my knee and spanked') are now few and far between. Though a small tweak to the act could see them pulling in $1,000s online.
Fot those as obsessed with UK D list celebrity as me here are some of this year's choicest panto pairings...
Sylvester (Dr Who 7) McCoy is in Reading with Christopher Lillicrap and a panda named LuLu... also it's not LuLu in blackface but who knows, maybe a special guest appearance????
Paul (Hi De Hi) Shane is with Michelle ('Allo 'Allo) Hodges in Peterborough proving that you can dine out off a catchphrase forever - Matt Lucas is this your future?
Gary Wilmott is with ex boyband star Lee Brennon in Derby
Linda (80s page 3 girl) Lusardi is with Leslie (Eastender, murderer and flasher) Grantham in Plymouth... Ladrokes are taking bets as to whether he'll kill her or F#%k her
Darren (living in my car these days) Day is in Billingham... they deserve each other
Toyah (it's a myth-stery) Wilcox is in Brighton... she used to be in Jarman movies, hoiw did that happen
Hunter from Gladiators is in Hastings - makes a change from being in Ulrika Johnnson I guess
Cannon and (Born again Xtian) Ball join Paul (70s sex symbol) Nicholas in Wescliffe on sea
Lisa (fat bird from Emmerdale who took over from Jeremy Beadle) Riley is ensuring the theatre looks full even before the concessions bus arrives lf in Southsea
Keith Harris brings green duck Orville and phlegmy monkey Cuddles to Fareham... hilarity will fail to ensue
The Fonz himself (Henry Winkler) joins wanna be Freddie Star impersonator Bobby Davro in Wimbledon...
Ruth Maddock (she's welsh by all accounts) is in Bath
joe pasquale will be squeaking his way through a 20 year old routine in Bristol
Bernie (the fattest) Nolan will be in the mood for dancing in Croydon
Whilst over in Guildford Stephanie Beecham will be trotting out her 'poor man's Joan Collins' schtick
Sadder still Patrick (Bobby Ewing) Duffy will be oiling himself up and greasing his way through Cinderella over in Woking - not how he expected his foray into theatre to end I would imagine
Lesley (isn't it funny when I play a grasping jew / elderly nympho?) Joseph joins some bloke from long defunct kids show Crackerjack ('Crackerjack!') in Wolverhampton.
Melvyn Hayes (It's aint half hot mum / bananaman) proves that Panto is an art over at worthing - catch him if you can
Even if it means missing the ginger duo of sonia and mark curry in horsham
I have to stop before I explode with the sheer awfulness of it all... I'd head down to Horsham - ginger wigs in hand and shout 'Where's Russ Abbott?' all the way through the first act - if I were you (this is a viewing suggestion only)
Of course the blog hasn't had an annecdote in an absolute age - which is why I'm rather looking forward to a whole new batch of tests in the New Year. All routine - but all neccessitating my meeting a fresh bunch of people, in stressful circumstance over a long enough period of time to cast them in my mind and give them lines to say that might not be accurate but are always truthful.
I've spent much of the morning trawling through the UK Pantomime scene - looking for John Inman, Christopher Biggins and of course - The Krankies. The Krankies are in Darlington this year (again) and will be glad of the work as television bookings for aging men married to midgets who dress up as small boys (only to be regularly 'put across my knee and spanked') are now few and far between. Though a small tweak to the act could see them pulling in $1,000s online.
Fot those as obsessed with UK D list celebrity as me here are some of this year's choicest panto pairings...
Sylvester (Dr Who 7) McCoy is in Reading with Christopher Lillicrap and a panda named LuLu... also it's not LuLu in blackface but who knows, maybe a special guest appearance????
Paul (Hi De Hi) Shane is with Michelle ('Allo 'Allo) Hodges in Peterborough proving that you can dine out off a catchphrase forever - Matt Lucas is this your future?
Gary Wilmott is with ex boyband star Lee Brennon in Derby
Linda (80s page 3 girl) Lusardi is with Leslie (Eastender, murderer and flasher) Grantham in Plymouth... Ladrokes are taking bets as to whether he'll kill her or F#%k her
Darren (living in my car these days) Day is in Billingham... they deserve each other
Toyah (it's a myth-stery) Wilcox is in Brighton... she used to be in Jarman movies, hoiw did that happen
Hunter from Gladiators is in Hastings - makes a change from being in Ulrika Johnnson I guess
Cannon and (Born again Xtian) Ball join Paul (70s sex symbol) Nicholas in Wescliffe on sea
Lisa (fat bird from Emmerdale who took over from Jeremy Beadle) Riley is ensuring the theatre looks full even before the concessions bus arrives lf in Southsea
Keith Harris brings green duck Orville and phlegmy monkey Cuddles to Fareham... hilarity will fail to ensue
The Fonz himself (Henry Winkler) joins wanna be Freddie Star impersonator Bobby Davro in Wimbledon...
Ruth Maddock (she's welsh by all accounts) is in Bath
joe pasquale will be squeaking his way through a 20 year old routine in Bristol
Bernie (the fattest) Nolan will be in the mood for dancing in Croydon
Whilst over in Guildford Stephanie Beecham will be trotting out her 'poor man's Joan Collins' schtick
Sadder still Patrick (Bobby Ewing) Duffy will be oiling himself up and greasing his way through Cinderella over in Woking - not how he expected his foray into theatre to end I would imagine
Lesley (isn't it funny when I play a grasping jew / elderly nympho?) Joseph joins some bloke from long defunct kids show Crackerjack ('Crackerjack!') in Wolverhampton.
Melvyn Hayes (It's aint half hot mum / bananaman) proves that Panto is an art over at worthing - catch him if you can
Even if it means missing the ginger duo of sonia and mark curry in horsham
I have to stop before I explode with the sheer awfulness of it all... I'd head down to Horsham - ginger wigs in hand and shout 'Where's Russ Abbott?' all the way through the first act - if I were you (this is a viewing suggestion only)
Saturday, December 30, 2006
I went b/w picture crazy today
Slowly getting the hang of the manual settings on my camera.
This wasn't the best picture but it's the most personal
Tried to join 2 'meet-up' groups too - one digital photography, the other a lighting and model group. Worried that the second will be perverts and / or camera snobs. First shoot is miles north of here - under a waterfall - in January (*!#!) We shall see
Friday, December 29, 2006
What a gay day (Pt. MCMXXVII)
Started the day with a one2one Pilates session. Much more variety today and just in time I was beginning to suspect that Pilates was little more than the ‘art of sucking in your stomach’. To be sure a useful art to master, especially as the oldest and heaviest resident of Williamsburg, but not really worth the $5k a year I’m going to be blowing on sessions. Luckily today was much better, more variety in the exercises, a noticeable improvement in the strength and flexibility of my upper spine and some real pain to boot. I felt so good afterwards I showered at the gym (always a brave choice with so many fit but unhygienic young souls around) – I’ll expect the athlete’s foot any day now.
I followed the gym with a Deep Tissue, Hot Stone massage – part relaxation, part torture as the questionable ethos of Bikram Yoga (your muscles will be more stretchy if you only do the exercise in a room heated to almost unbearable) are applied to massage and scalding rocks are placed on ‘muscle knots’ in a bid to have them gentle ease themselves enough to be mercilessly worked by the bullet knuckled masseur.
The afternoon was spent voting on the best 100 Nudes on flickr. You get to hit the best 100 by challenging an existing pic on the Hot 100 and having the members vote you in. I said yes to anything that looked dark and sumptuous and no to the pictures with distracting genitalia.
Easy viewing of my flickr pics can now be found here http://www.flickr.com/photos/stevenjude/
They’re not great pics yet but I promise to edit more tightly going forward and to only use the MANUAL setting on my camera unless speed demands that I do otherwise.
Right now I’m off to drink the wine that Jude described as tasting like “a dehydrated tramp’s piss – only less alcoholic.”… she is a charmer.
I followed the gym with a Deep Tissue, Hot Stone massage – part relaxation, part torture as the questionable ethos of Bikram Yoga (your muscles will be more stretchy if you only do the exercise in a room heated to almost unbearable) are applied to massage and scalding rocks are placed on ‘muscle knots’ in a bid to have them gentle ease themselves enough to be mercilessly worked by the bullet knuckled masseur.
The afternoon was spent voting on the best 100 Nudes on flickr. You get to hit the best 100 by challenging an existing pic on the Hot 100 and having the members vote you in. I said yes to anything that looked dark and sumptuous and no to the pictures with distracting genitalia.
Easy viewing of my flickr pics can now be found here http://www.flickr.com/photos/stevenjude/
They’re not great pics yet but I promise to edit more tightly going forward and to only use the MANUAL setting on my camera unless speed demands that I do otherwise.
Right now I’m off to drink the wine that Jude described as tasting like “a dehydrated tramp’s piss – only less alcoholic.”… she is a charmer.
Real terror
So over the past 6 weeks or so I've been gaining weight. Not a great deal of weight but enough to worry me for all kinds of reasons. Having once been described as 'The Oprah Winfrey' of advertising by a friend who I saw only occasionally (and who always wondered whether e was goingto be meeting Karen Carpenter or Ten Tonne Tesse) I know swings in weight but the latest is the most baffling as all of my clothes still seem to fit and I don't feel utter revulsion at my reflection (unless of course it's my reflection in a harshly lit changing room mirror - why do they do that?)
So let's put half of the weight gain down to my love of alcohol, chocolate chip cookies and my latte habit. Why only half? Because I've cut down on those things since my weight was static that's why - and because I refuse to allow the creeping of the scales towards their maximum to be anything other than dread disease or personal triumph.
In my mind the other half of the gain will be down to one of two things. Muscle weight (I have been going to the gym more often) or tumor weight (I am due a cancer relapse). Trouble is that I haven't been going to the gym THAT hard and I was given an all clear from cancer only 3 months ago (I have new scans due in a couple of weeks I think) meaning that unless the tumors are growing at a rate unheard of since sea monkies first burst onto the scene it's not that either.
Of course until I have my next scan I'm going to imagine it is.
Anyway a mystery worthy of Jessica Fletcher... meanwhile I'm back off to the gym in a bid to sweat off some poundage.
So let's put half of the weight gain down to my love of alcohol, chocolate chip cookies and my latte habit. Why only half? Because I've cut down on those things since my weight was static that's why - and because I refuse to allow the creeping of the scales towards their maximum to be anything other than dread disease or personal triumph.
In my mind the other half of the gain will be down to one of two things. Muscle weight (I have been going to the gym more often) or tumor weight (I am due a cancer relapse). Trouble is that I haven't been going to the gym THAT hard and I was given an all clear from cancer only 3 months ago (I have new scans due in a couple of weeks I think) meaning that unless the tumors are growing at a rate unheard of since sea monkies first burst onto the scene it's not that either.
Of course until I have my next scan I'm going to imagine it is.
Anyway a mystery worthy of Jessica Fletcher... meanwhile I'm back off to the gym in a bid to sweat off some poundage.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
The missing resolution
I want to take the photography much more seriously this year - fewer snapshots and a whole lot more style.
I'll start by taking a shot of the umpteen concrete mixers outside of the house (they're building 5 new condo buildings on my street alone) - from the 5th floor I'm sure I can make it look like 'toytown construction'
That's all - just a check in
I'll start by taking a shot of the umpteen concrete mixers outside of the house (they're building 5 new condo buildings on my street alone) - from the 5th floor I'm sure I can make it look like 'toytown construction'
That's all - just a check in
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Resolutions
I don't usually make resolutions - let alone public resolutions. I find thas as a person I'm far from resolute. Vague internal half promises I'm good at - plans of action I'm not. I'm more of a 'this year I'll deal with shit as it happens' kind of a person.
But 2007 is a year that I didn't expect to see and it's a year where I find myself sans excuses. So here goes.
This is the year where I'm going to work up a sweat at least once a day. A year in which I start to enjoy physicality and to really push myself.
This year will see me in the best shape of my life. I'll continue with the pilates and throw in some extra gym sessions each week. It's going to be the year where summer is spent shirtless and shameless.
This is the year where I make an effort to actually learn Dutch. I have the Rosetta Stone manual - all I need now is a bucket of phlegm (you need it, believe me) and and hour a day. That I can do.
This is the year where I start cooking again. In Australia what I tended to eat was natural, healthy and unprocessed. I've let that go - and having helped out a little with 'real food' over Xmas I want to get back to it. Bye bye shopping once a month - hello shopping once a day.
This is the year when I take a couple of decent vacations. I have 25 days a year again (vs. the 10 standard here) and I will use each and every one of them. A vacation to see old friends, a vacation to lay on a beach and a vacation full of adventure - that's the plan.
And finally this is the year in which I'll finish my Ad book. It's been too long - and it's not that hard. Again an hour a day and 4 hrs at weekends should see me finish soon. It will be considerably better written than this blog too (hasn't this been poor recently?)
That's it I think. I am resolute. 2007 is way past my dead-by date and it will be enjoyed.
But 2007 is a year that I didn't expect to see and it's a year where I find myself sans excuses. So here goes.
This is the year where I'm going to work up a sweat at least once a day. A year in which I start to enjoy physicality and to really push myself.
This year will see me in the best shape of my life. I'll continue with the pilates and throw in some extra gym sessions each week. It's going to be the year where summer is spent shirtless and shameless.
This is the year where I make an effort to actually learn Dutch. I have the Rosetta Stone manual - all I need now is a bucket of phlegm (you need it, believe me) and and hour a day. That I can do.
This is the year where I start cooking again. In Australia what I tended to eat was natural, healthy and unprocessed. I've let that go - and having helped out a little with 'real food' over Xmas I want to get back to it. Bye bye shopping once a month - hello shopping once a day.
This is the year when I take a couple of decent vacations. I have 25 days a year again (vs. the 10 standard here) and I will use each and every one of them. A vacation to see old friends, a vacation to lay on a beach and a vacation full of adventure - that's the plan.
And finally this is the year in which I'll finish my Ad book. It's been too long - and it's not that hard. Again an hour a day and 4 hrs at weekends should see me finish soon. It will be considerably better written than this blog too (hasn't this been poor recently?)
That's it I think. I am resolute. 2007 is way past my dead-by date and it will be enjoyed.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Christmas Eve
Though with the sunshine brilliant and blinding and the temperature at around 13C it doesn't quite feel that way. Still good news for the carolling in Washington Square Park
Have realized that what we need is a Christmas Eve tradition - something that hooks us into the holiday regardless of where we are in the world. I know that sans kids it's harder - but there has to be something - from treating a midnight mass as a free 'appetizer' through to watching some crap old 'only at Xmas' TV show.
Suggestions - of the helpful kind - gratefully received
Have realized that what we need is a Christmas Eve tradition - something that hooks us into the holiday regardless of where we are in the world. I know that sans kids it's harder - but there has to be something - from treating a midnight mass as a free 'appetizer' through to watching some crap old 'only at Xmas' TV show.
Suggestions - of the helpful kind - gratefully received
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