More Idol news

So it seems like Clearasil before picture and part time drag king Adam Lambert is a BIG GAY TRANNY.
Hurrah!

I've been calling him Tranny Meatloaf forever and now it seems that the boy likes his meat... hurrah and huzzah!
Of course it would have been hard for him to be any more out.
Closets lose their doors as he walks by.
But now thanks to the miracle of the interweb housewives everyone can stop voting for him - just like Jesus would have done.

This week's Idol was Motown.
Or in Adam's case "Homo-town" (geddit?)

Here's what the reprobates did...

First they went to Detroit, It was grim.
They visited "Hitsville" it was grimmer.
Smokey Robinson appeared - we checked for the Grim Reaper.

Then they sang.....

Matt Giraud did "Let's get it on" in a warty if Justin Timberlake was uglier and slightly dumpy way that had Paula panting (maybe its the girdles?) and the rest of us slightly perplexed.

Kris Allen ”How Sweet It Is” - went for the Johnny Matthis side mouth croon, lesbian shirt and equally lesbian sincerity. I've been less bored at 'let's see how long it takes granny to die" weekend parties. INexplicably the judges loved him.

Scott MacIntyre (”You Can’t Hurry Love”) sang as though somebody had dared him to 'sing nerd' - his nasal whine was almost drowned out by his attempt at Honky Tonk piano - but alas not quite. Randy thought that he was "better than that man" --- I'm beginning to think that blindness and tone deafness may be somehow linked.

Megan Joy (”For Once In My Life”) she should sing Amy Winehouse, then go home basically. Here she raced through the song, threw in a signature spasm or two, missed easy notes and tried to look 'quirky'

Anoop Desai (”Ooh, Baby, Baby.”) - the most boring version of the most boring song ever to be transmitted. Another two minutes and his mom would have killed his dad just so that she could throw herself on the pyre. Racist? No - observant.

Michael Sarver (”Ain’t Too Proud to Beg”) - Jesus may have built his oilrig and blessed his bootiful bebby durrrterrr... but if I wanted to see a fat eunuch version of Tom Jones I'd buy Englebert Humperdinkn tickets, thank you.

Lil Rounds (”Heat Wave”) - They dressed her like Tina Turner, she performed like Tina Micheals, the checkout lady at our local Costco. Smokey says she could sing the phone book, I kind wish she had. C'mon big ass, show us what you're made of.

Adam Lambert (”Tracks Of My Tears”) - Looking like a drag king, sounding like a drag mime, A-dame (tee-hee) Lambert did a 'straight' version of the song that would have made him a contender were it not for the taste his taste for cock left in the mouth of American housewives who know that BJs is a store - and a birthday one perversion and sin against Jezuz.

Danny Gokey (”Get Ready”) - His wife is still dead. That should keep him safe another couple of weeks.

Allison Iraheta (”Papa Was a Rolling Stone”) - the soon to be trailer park, drug addict lesbian showed Josh Stone what it was all about on this "never mind the verse I have a lick in the chorus" version of the old classic. Good but I have more chance of winning,

So that's it.... what next week I wonder

A no to London

So we decided against London. A few things weighing in. Visa stuff that would take a while, money stuff that would mean living frugally to really make enough for savings given the time lost to visas, and my need to be here for movers, finding a Montreal house, incorporating etc.

It seems odd being unemployed and turning down offers of interesting work with good people and six figure salaries attached... but the truth is that in the 9 weeks that I'd have been able to be there I'd not have the time to do a good job, not have the ability to fly home when I needed to and not made enough to overlook those facts.

Concentrating on getting things signed and getting back into the business of working all day now. A real shame as I'd have liked a London stint - if only to remind myself why it's not the place for me... but these things happen and you deal

Am I fat and lazy?

So I finally got the offer that I've been waiting for in from London today. And if the dollar was still only worth half a pound it would be the kind of offer that I'd be all over. But the dollar isn't worth half a pound and now I'm in a quandary.

You see the money is really good for someone living in the UK. But I wouldn't be living just in the UK. I'd still have a house and expenses (extra expenses actually) in the US. And I'd have flights. And the extra money would trigger tax on the income we get from our house.

The only way to really make it work would be for me to share a place. In Essex. Which might be an adventure. But an adventure that I thought that I'd left way behind. Long ago.

So it comes down to this. Am I prepared to abandon family for three months, to share a house, to spend time on planes in return for something to do and (if I live frugally) about an extra $10 - $15k in the bank account?

I know that most people would scream "Yes" to this. But then the situation here is complicated. And maybe I'm just too fat and lazy to actually do this. Or maybe the time could be better spent elsewhere.

Oh - and the visa people have me down as German. Pushing things back by 2 weeks. And generally buggering things up. Great.

Inching toward an agreement

I'm slowly inching my way towards an agreement that might see me in the UK for the next three months or so. What's standing in the way are the usual things agreement on money, start date and end date - but also the need for the paperwork on my new visa to arrive before I head off elsewhere. Which, from a distance, makes me seem complicated and a bit of a risk. We'll see what happens. I'm interested, but only at the right price.

Pictured is my very scruffy dog (the groomer is chock-a-block) and her less scruffy daycare fave. Velcro won't let the woman out of her sight and circles her as though she were a stray goat from the flock. No idea why they bonded - but they have so when the door opens and it's daycare days I have one very happy animal on my hands.

Looking for a quick trip within the US too. I'm thinking Miami. Jude is thinking further afield (like not in the US, not a long weekend and not somewhere that speaks English)... that will depend on the When with the UK job. And on the If I guess.

Other stuff happening too... but I can't really lay it out here yet - esp as I signed an NDA on it.

Legal

Caution
Originally uploaded by Penny Green

Well we got confirmation of our change of status... which is good and means that Jude can now work again and I can stay here as long as she does.

Well that will be the case when the paperwork lands in our mailbox. What we have right now is an e-mail saying 'approved' and instructions to wait for the paperwork.

Good news as it means that we'll be able to travel again. Again once the paperwork arrives.

Still no news on Springtime in London for me.... grrrrrr. Will give it until Thursday and then write it off as an opportunity that wasn't to be. I've uncrossed my fingers but still have an eager eye on my inbox... if that makes sense.

Anyway just a quickie today as I have calls to make and internet sites to search - as well as ex-clients to thinly disguise as members of the underworld in my new 'who knew it was a comedy?' book

My next two shoots

I have some amazing people lined up for my next two shoots...

Here's how I described the ideas at casting...


**********SHOEBOX FULL OF SECRETS*************

I'm looking to mix the look of Found Magazine with the intensity of Post Secret... and I'm looking for people willing to go there with me...

What do I mean?

Here are a couple of examples....

The model acts out a scene that's close to their own heart... one story so far is of a girl had a topless pic that her boyfriend had taken of her when they were still at boarding school. She carried it everywhere as she was terrified that it would 'get found' even if she threw it away... We're going to re-enact that image (10 years later) with her holding the pic... she then signs the image "I used to be terrified that someone would see me like this"

Have another guy who had a stash of pretty tame gay porn when he was younger... he kept it in the attic. Going to shoot him upstairs, in late 80s clothing surrounded by similar mags - he signs it"My parents will never know about this either."

It doesn't have to be sexual, it just needs to be personal.

The second is the idea that I'm really interested in

*** PUBLIC VS PERSONAL SPACE****

I have an idea for a series of images that try to capture the difference between how we all want to be perceived (especially as people who work with images) and what the rest of our lives look like.

What I'm looking to do is shoot in two parts.

The first shoot is all about capturing images of everyday life. It will be black and white and grainy and photo journalistic. We're looking for around 120 images of you going about your everyday business in the house as though there are no cameras there. Waking up, brushing your teeth, showering, throwing things in the microwave, throwing things at the TV. We capture 'real life'

We then print those images and use them to create a giant mural / montage that will act as the backdrop for the second shoot (and final image)

This mural will be around 7 feet high and 12 feet across and we'll shoot you in color, in front of it in whatever costume, make-up etc. you'd most like to be seen in.

The idea is to use our life as a backdrop for your larger than life images.

This is an idea that I'm really, really excited by. The first part is going to take some time, and some patience but the final images should be revelatory... and how often can we say that?


THE RESPONSE so far has been terrific, I love the people that are coming back to me and the stories that they want to tell.


In addition went out into the Ann Arbor sunshine today and managed to turn this innocent scene into something that has a bit of a story... fantastic. Loving life