So it seems like Clearasil before picture and part time drag king Adam Lambert is a BIG GAY TRANNY.
Hurrah!
I've been calling him Tranny Meatloaf forever and now it seems that the boy likes his meat... hurrah and huzzah!
Of course it would have been hard for him to be any more out.
Closets lose their doors as he walks by.
But now thanks to the miracle of the interweb housewives everyone can stop voting for him - just like Jesus would have done.
This week's Idol was Motown.
Or in Adam's case "Homo-town" (geddit?)
Here's what the reprobates did...
First they went to Detroit, It was grim.
They visited "Hitsville" it was grimmer.
Smokey Robinson appeared - we checked for the Grim Reaper.
Then they sang.....
Matt Giraud did "Let's get it on" in a warty if Justin Timberlake was uglier and slightly dumpy way that had Paula panting (maybe its the girdles?) and the rest of us slightly perplexed.
Kris Allen ”How Sweet It Is” - went for the Johnny Matthis side mouth croon, lesbian shirt and equally lesbian sincerity. I've been less bored at 'let's see how long it takes granny to die" weekend parties. INexplicably the judges loved him.
Scott MacIntyre (”You Can’t Hurry Love”) sang as though somebody had dared him to 'sing nerd' - his nasal whine was almost drowned out by his attempt at Honky Tonk piano - but alas not quite. Randy thought that he was "better than that man" --- I'm beginning to think that blindness and tone deafness may be somehow linked.
Megan Joy (”For Once In My Life”) she should sing Amy Winehouse, then go home basically. Here she raced through the song, threw in a signature spasm or two, missed easy notes and tried to look 'quirky'
Anoop Desai (”Ooh, Baby, Baby.”) - the most boring version of the most boring song ever to be transmitted. Another two minutes and his mom would have killed his dad just so that she could throw herself on the pyre. Racist? No - observant.
Michael Sarver (”Ain’t Too Proud to Beg”) - Jesus may have built his oilrig and blessed his bootiful bebby durrrterrr... but if I wanted to see a fat eunuch version of Tom Jones I'd buy Englebert Humperdinkn tickets, thank you.
Lil Rounds (”Heat Wave”) - They dressed her like Tina Turner, she performed like Tina Micheals, the checkout lady at our local Costco. Smokey says she could sing the phone book, I kind wish she had. C'mon big ass, show us what you're made of.
Adam Lambert (”Tracks Of My Tears”) - Looking like a drag king, sounding like a drag mime, A-dame (tee-hee) Lambert did a 'straight' version of the song that would have made him a contender were it not for the taste his taste for cock left in the mouth of American housewives who know that BJs is a store - and a birthday one perversion and sin against Jezuz.
Danny Gokey (”Get Ready”) - His wife is still dead. That should keep him safe another couple of weeks.
Allison Iraheta (”Papa Was a Rolling Stone”) - the soon to be trailer park, drug addict lesbian showed Josh Stone what it was all about on this "never mind the verse I have a lick in the chorus" version of the old classic. Good but I have more chance of winning,
So that's it.... what next week I wonder