Jude woke up this morning determined to get her 365 days of Jude shot in early. I noticed that if I stood at this angle the shadows from the blinds gave me the abs that two glasses of wine a day have been denying me.
That said I did go to pilates this morning and a long walk with the dog is slated for half an hour from now - so perhaps I'm not the slob that I seem to be in my mind's eye.
I know that when you ask women to judge themselves against other women they tend to place themselves against people a full dress size bigger - I'm hoping that's my issue. Body dismorphia. Not chocolate, guinness and an ability to dodge the gym like my brother does salads.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Friday, April 04, 2008
Friday
It's Friday. Or as people of a certain age would say "Thank Crunchie" or maybe "TGIF"... amazing isn't it how consumption based advertising creeps into real life.
You can imagine the Crunchie strategy meeting.
"People love Crunchie. But they don't ever choose it. They get one in a selection box and think to themselves that they like this, that they should buy it but the next time they're in the shop they just don't. It's just not high enough in their daily repertoire."
"What it needs is an occasion Bob"
"Exactly Bob. A trigger. Something that just says - it's time for a Crunchie"
"How about Easter Bob?"
"Creme Eggs Bob. Same company. Cannibalization of brand and Creme Eggs make more money per unit... but good thinking"
"After dinner?"
"Too thick. Wafer thins own post dinner"
"Friday Bob!"
"Friday?"
"Yes Bob. People are in a good mood. They're gearing up for the weekend. They're lookiing for treats - for something celebratory"
"But what's my reason to believe Bob?"
"Champagne. The honeycomb in a Crunchie pops in your mouth like Champagne. And when do people drink champagne Bob?"
"FRIDAY!"
"FRIDAY Bob"
"Right that's settled then, 3 martini lunch anyone?"
You can imagine the Crunchie strategy meeting.
"People love Crunchie. But they don't ever choose it. They get one in a selection box and think to themselves that they like this, that they should buy it but the next time they're in the shop they just don't. It's just not high enough in their daily repertoire."
"What it needs is an occasion Bob"
"Exactly Bob. A trigger. Something that just says - it's time for a Crunchie"
"How about Easter Bob?"
"Creme Eggs Bob. Same company. Cannibalization of brand and Creme Eggs make more money per unit... but good thinking"
"After dinner?"
"Too thick. Wafer thins own post dinner"
"Friday Bob!"
"Friday?"
"Yes Bob. People are in a good mood. They're gearing up for the weekend. They're lookiing for treats - for something celebratory"
"But what's my reason to believe Bob?"
"Champagne. The honeycomb in a Crunchie pops in your mouth like Champagne. And when do people drink champagne Bob?"
"FRIDAY!"
"FRIDAY Bob"
"Right that's settled then, 3 martini lunch anyone?"
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Bye bye bobblehead
>Say goodbye, Bobblehead.
Having shouted her way through Dolly Parton's "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind" on Tuesday night's show the Filipino would be lounge singer was answered by an indifferent America. "No you don't" they said, or rather didn't - as they failed to vote for her by the million.
Who was shocked? Nobody.
Also in the bottom three - Ms. Lobotomy Brooke White and 'horseless' Kristy Lee Cook.
Better still - i-tunes cover mechant David Cook had heart palpitations and needed treatment for high blood pressure near the end of Tuesday's show. The 25 year old obviously has the constitution of a grandpa and had to be treated at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center
His story? "I have high blood pressure, and it spiked."
Very rock 'n' roll
I expect elasticated leisure pants from him next week
Having shouted her way through Dolly Parton's "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind" on Tuesday night's show the Filipino would be lounge singer was answered by an indifferent America. "No you don't" they said, or rather didn't - as they failed to vote for her by the million.
Who was shocked? Nobody.
Also in the bottom three - Ms. Lobotomy Brooke White and 'horseless' Kristy Lee Cook.
Better still - i-tunes cover mechant David Cook had heart palpitations and needed treatment for high blood pressure near the end of Tuesday's show. The 25 year old obviously has the constitution of a grandpa and had to be treated at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center
His story? "I have high blood pressure, and it spiked."
Very rock 'n' roll
I expect elasticated leisure pants from him next week
Another day in paradise
there's the possibility that we might be extending our stay here in A2. Just a possibility. Which ain't a bad thing. But as friends start to contact me with tales of offers further afield, in more exotic locations and with better titles I can't help but wonder whether I've blown the career a little.
Of course there's a reason for this trajectory. Dr Jude is now a Doctor. And her desire to have that prefix far outweighed my desire to be Director of Creative Turpitude at Bangle Bongle Stronglemeijer.
And there are upsides. Cool apt, cool car, happy animals, job I like here, money in the bank and some cool vacations. I guess I'm just questioning my willingness to stay in one place for more than 2 years. I equate it with immobility rather than content I guess. Which is weird - 'cause I like it here.
Therapy here I come
Of course there's a reason for this trajectory. Dr Jude is now a Doctor. And her desire to have that prefix far outweighed my desire to be Director of Creative Turpitude at Bangle Bongle Stronglemeijer.
And there are upsides. Cool apt, cool car, happy animals, job I like here, money in the bank and some cool vacations. I guess I'm just questioning my willingness to stay in one place for more than 2 years. I equate it with immobility rather than content I guess. Which is weird - 'cause I like it here.
Therapy here I come
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Dollywood
It was Dolly Parton night in Idol last night and the results were all rather predictable.
Brook White sang Jolene as though it was the sunniest and most carefree song in the world. Then smiled vacantly as Simon raised the issue that she's rather missed the point and that her violin player was offputtingly ugly. I can't work out whether this girl is deeply cynical or whether they're about to reveal her lobotomy any day now - but I'm done with her.
The batwinged bruiser belted out something or other without missing a note or making any real impact. Someone ought to check with the INS and make sure she's not here on an exceptional talent visa as it would be in danger of being revoked
The Magic Mormon did a ballad that reminded him of home and did a nice job on it. The problem is that he really does only connect on overly earnest ballads and he comes across more as grandmother's choice than he does American Idol. He could open for Niel Sedaka. Really.
David Cook searched I-Tunes for someone to rip off, failed to find anyone and faded into the background.
Jason Castro still has dreads and those eyes - so the performance was irrelevant. Just as well really.
Kristy Lee Cook chose nice jewelry and a simple "Coat of many colors" - her last hurrah (she's safe this week but she has to go soon) wasn't really a bang, but hey she might get a gig with the ice-capades that allow her to buy back her bloody horse
Michael Johns did his Australian Rocker schick again and it worked. He's genuinely happy to be there - realizing that this is his last shot at the industry and that kind of appreciation and humility goes a long way - even if he does look like a marketing manager at a kareoke.
Ramiele Malubay is still a bobble headed midget. I can't remember anything about her last night. Maybe TiVo cut her off. Maybe she just disappeared.
And finally cut priced Whitney Syesha Mercado did - you guessed it "I will always love you" minus Dolly's sincerity or Whitney's range.
So a bit of a flat night - where competence reigned and nobody really managed to stand out. That makes it a popularity contest (bar country girl, who;s safe on home turf)... expect Ramiele, Syesha and Carly Bruiser to be tonight's bottom three
Brook White sang Jolene as though it was the sunniest and most carefree song in the world. Then smiled vacantly as Simon raised the issue that she's rather missed the point and that her violin player was offputtingly ugly. I can't work out whether this girl is deeply cynical or whether they're about to reveal her lobotomy any day now - but I'm done with her.
The batwinged bruiser belted out something or other without missing a note or making any real impact. Someone ought to check with the INS and make sure she's not here on an exceptional talent visa as it would be in danger of being revoked
The Magic Mormon did a ballad that reminded him of home and did a nice job on it. The problem is that he really does only connect on overly earnest ballads and he comes across more as grandmother's choice than he does American Idol. He could open for Niel Sedaka. Really.
David Cook searched I-Tunes for someone to rip off, failed to find anyone and faded into the background.
Jason Castro still has dreads and those eyes - so the performance was irrelevant. Just as well really.
Kristy Lee Cook chose nice jewelry and a simple "Coat of many colors" - her last hurrah (she's safe this week but she has to go soon) wasn't really a bang, but hey she might get a gig with the ice-capades that allow her to buy back her bloody horse
Michael Johns did his Australian Rocker schick again and it worked. He's genuinely happy to be there - realizing that this is his last shot at the industry and that kind of appreciation and humility goes a long way - even if he does look like a marketing manager at a kareoke.
Ramiele Malubay is still a bobble headed midget. I can't remember anything about her last night. Maybe TiVo cut her off. Maybe she just disappeared.
And finally cut priced Whitney Syesha Mercado did - you guessed it "I will always love you" minus Dolly's sincerity or Whitney's range.
So a bit of a flat night - where competence reigned and nobody really managed to stand out. That makes it a popularity contest (bar country girl, who;s safe on home turf)... expect Ramiele, Syesha and Carly Bruiser to be tonight's bottom three
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Fabulously Nasty
As a Brit I'm kind of rejoicing in the weather at the moment. It's gray and wet. It's as windy as hell. The temperatures are shifting between minus and plau 15c daily. It's unpredictably damp, then wet, then icy. This may be a sign of the apocolypse. It may be a sign of spring. I have no idea. I really ought to look at Weather Channel viewing figures in the area. They skyrocket when the weather gets unusual. They thrive on 'extreme weather'... as of course do I.
Into this weather was born the new baseball season. Detroit lost 5-4 in the last inning (or something) and there are all manner of stats now showing how / why and where it fits comparatively to the rest of the league and previous seasons - none of which I understand. Perhaps I ought to try harder. It can't be that hard a game.
Into this weather was born the new baseball season. Detroit lost 5-4 in the last inning (or something) and there are all manner of stats now showing how / why and where it fits comparatively to the rest of the league and previous seasons - none of which I understand. Perhaps I ought to try harder. It can't be that hard a game.
Monday, March 31, 2008
VEGAS BABY!
Yup - it's back to Vegas this weekend. And this time the temperatures will be in the high 20s. Centigrade. Which will be nice ahead of Cyprus in May.
Of course none of the Cyprus villa people are answering calls - which is a worry.
And I'm not confirmed in the Vegas hotel. Which might also be a worry come Friday.
But I have a flight. I have a plan. And I'm looking forward to some sunshine.
Of course none of the Cyprus villa people are answering calls - which is a worry.
And I'm not confirmed in the Vegas hotel. Which might also be a worry come Friday.
But I have a flight. I have a plan. And I'm looking forward to some sunshine.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Hair
Jude went out yesterday and got herself new hair. It's lighter, toned down a little and, for the moment, it's dead straight.
Inky is still losing his hair and as I write is sitting on my lap smothered in unction and wearing an unfetching collar
I of course have no hair - but do have an infection of the hair follicles (I know how unfair is that?) which is requiring some hardcore treatment. Basically I'm taking medication for other scalp / hair diseases and turning up the dosage to nuclear.
I have lice treatment, I have scabies medication, I have steroidal creams - all being taken at around 6 times the dosage for the disease that they're meant to treat (6 pills at a time) in a bid to kill off what's lurking on my post chemo head.
Weird thing is it seems to be working - even i the people at the pharmacy now start to scratch at the sight of me
Inky is still losing his hair and as I write is sitting on my lap smothered in unction and wearing an unfetching collar
I of course have no hair - but do have an infection of the hair follicles (I know how unfair is that?) which is requiring some hardcore treatment. Basically I'm taking medication for other scalp / hair diseases and turning up the dosage to nuclear.
I have lice treatment, I have scabies medication, I have steroidal creams - all being taken at around 6 times the dosage for the disease that they're meant to treat (6 pills at a time) in a bid to kill off what's lurking on my post chemo head.
Weird thing is it seems to be working - even i the people at the pharmacy now start to scratch at the sight of me
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