The oldest argument

I was talking to some friends at a local sex worker advocacy group the other day and she dropped a statistic that in North America 1 in 7 men have paid for sex in their lifetime. That's not 'paid for sex' as in 'dropped a wad on an expensive dinner' but as in 'thanks for that, there's a $100 on the side table'

I decided to look up whether she had her facts straight and it seems that she does. Almost all of the surveys that I've seen for North America seem to hover around the 15% mark. Which begs the question - what are all of these guys paying for.

In the liberal corner you tend to hear 'companionship, fantasy, human contact'
In the conservative corner 'control, dominance, a chance to express innate misogyny.'

I'm pretty sure that it's a little of each, depending on the person who's doing the paying.

Which is a 'shade of grey' argument.. but an honest one.

I wish I had a better response and I'm trying to learn as much as I can about the issue. I've been to 'Sex workers do reading', I've been to a few Sex Worker's Rights meetings here and I'll talk to anyone with an opinion that's been informed by someone.

For some reason it's a subject that fascinates me...

Is this someone selling intimacy or someone selling the surrender of self determination?

And of course I'm not talking about people forced into the industry or tricked into it or trafficked in. I'm talking about the people who look at it and think 'why not?'

There's a photo series in here somewhere... taking pictures of prostitutes, their johns and their persecutors. I'm just not good enough (yet) to do it justice.

A minor miracle

Getting a doctor in Quebec is a little less difficult than getting head in synagog. It's pretty much impossible. And for a number of reasons. But ultimately, about half of the people here have no doctor of their own and rely on 'walk in' clinics for their care.

So when you go to a walk in clinic, you're greeted, they take your insurance number (province provided) and they give you a seat. Your home for the next two hours at least. You wait your couple of hours (longer sometimes) and then are given a room number.

Go to the room and in springs a doctor. Last time for me it was a young guy in nice jeans who opened with

"We are busy. I have no time. You have 1 minute. What do you want?"

"A repeat prescription and a referral to an oncologist so that I can schedule scans"

"That's two things. I have time for one. Which?"

"Erm they'll each take about 30 seconds"

"And you have 40 seconds left. Choose one now, then take a seat and wait again"

"That's stupid"

"20 seconds. Choose or leave"

"Which is most likely to kill me. Not having the drugs or skipping a scan?"

"10 secs"

I chose the prescription(I told him what I needed and how much, he took notes and signed off, not a glance at my records), mentally braced to come back the next day and tried not to swing for the man.


Jude didn't take this in a supine position. The number you call to get a doctor (811) actually laugh when you tell them that you're looking. I tried for 14 hrs over 2 days once, got close then had the guy take money to register me on to then say it was for his 2 year waiting list. Not Jude.

As faculty at the university she gets access to a doctor. And was lucky enough to be one of two people 'chosen' to receive a doctor to take her through her pregnancy (they take 2 people a month, she's one of the 2 in Feb)... so today she talked to that doctor, who had heard of a program, who might be able to get you in to see interns at the hospital. They'll rotate. They have a 50% cancellation rate but they keep your notes, they have an appointment system and they can write referrals. Four hours and a couple of calls later I was in.

Nobody here can believe it. I have a kind of family doctor (sorta), who will know who I am and actually keep notes AND they're affiliated to a hospital. And I've been here a year.

Jude be a star