Getting to Famagusta from the south of the island is quite a feat. You go past the UN checkpoint. Then through the Turkish side... buying insurance on the way.
From there its on through the 'occupied zone' to Famagusta. Where hoards of Brits whinge blithely through 'occupied territory'... knowing only that 'the bus brought us' and little about the history.
Though you think that the bombed out hotels would give them a hint
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Better a hairy man's bitch
better a hairy man's bitch than a poor man's wife ---> as I'm sure Tammy Wynette sang on some opus or other during the 70s. Tammy was never one of the "I'll be a post feminist in the post-patriarchy' types.
Hamman was amazing. Very cool space. Stars cut through the stone to give illusion of a starlit sky and help heat the building. And a really gentle heat. You sweat almost without noticing.
Changing room was a curtained daybed - the kind that I'd imagine finding Cindy Gallup using during meetings; perfect for positioning yourself to receive grapes from a scantily clad and well oiled wench.
Body scrub was good - weirdly the people doing the scrubbing are all women. Most baths allow men only. They don't scrub your stomach - or maybe they just didn't scrub mine... that would have required overtime.
Which leads me with news anchor neatness to a new project.
The NUP
The NUP is the Naked Uganda Project.
I've realized on this trip that I am a bloated middle aged man showing all of the signs of a long commute, a fondness for wine and a partiality for the 'too cold for the gym' excuse.
I am flabby
I am saggy
I am ashamed
And I'm about to do something about it.
We head for Uganda in December.
I will be in shape by then.
Good enough shape to have Jude take a serious of hot but artistic nudes of me in remote outposts. Me nude being charged by a rhino (and boy do they charge through the nose - boom, Boom!) - that kind of thing.
Worry not - pics won't ever be posted. But I've already signed up for a personal trainer in a personal gym. 1 on 1. Just us. No excuses. Nowhere to hide. It's gonna be brutal and I'm gonna bitch and moan here. But I will be in shape by Xmas.
So NUP - the Naked Uganda Project starts here.
Back to the title though. Whilst in the bath a very elderly Greek Cypriot man asked whether I'd help scrub his hairy back. Being foreign and gullible I said "okay". I scrubbed. He said thank you. He left. I had massage. All was good. Except I think that I may now officially be his bitch. Isn't that a rule? You scrub a man in a Hamman and he owns you? I do hope not -- he was old enough to be Anna Nicole Smith husband material - and much as I loved the diet pill popping old trout I don't think I wanna be the new Anna Nicole yet.
Okay enough rambling. Back to the balcony.
Hamman was amazing. Very cool space. Stars cut through the stone to give illusion of a starlit sky and help heat the building. And a really gentle heat. You sweat almost without noticing.
Changing room was a curtained daybed - the kind that I'd imagine finding Cindy Gallup using during meetings; perfect for positioning yourself to receive grapes from a scantily clad and well oiled wench.
Body scrub was good - weirdly the people doing the scrubbing are all women. Most baths allow men only. They don't scrub your stomach - or maybe they just didn't scrub mine... that would have required overtime.
Which leads me with news anchor neatness to a new project.
The NUP
The NUP is the Naked Uganda Project.
I've realized on this trip that I am a bloated middle aged man showing all of the signs of a long commute, a fondness for wine and a partiality for the 'too cold for the gym' excuse.
I am flabby
I am saggy
I am ashamed
And I'm about to do something about it.
We head for Uganda in December.
I will be in shape by then.
Good enough shape to have Jude take a serious of hot but artistic nudes of me in remote outposts. Me nude being charged by a rhino (and boy do they charge through the nose - boom, Boom!) - that kind of thing.
Worry not - pics won't ever be posted. But I've already signed up for a personal trainer in a personal gym. 1 on 1. Just us. No excuses. Nowhere to hide. It's gonna be brutal and I'm gonna bitch and moan here. But I will be in shape by Xmas.
So NUP - the Naked Uganda Project starts here.
Back to the title though. Whilst in the bath a very elderly Greek Cypriot man asked whether I'd help scrub his hairy back. Being foreign and gullible I said "okay". I scrubbed. He said thank you. He left. I had massage. All was good. Except I think that I may now officially be his bitch. Isn't that a rule? You scrub a man in a Hamman and he owns you? I do hope not -- he was old enough to be Anna Nicole Smith husband material - and much as I loved the diet pill popping old trout I don't think I wanna be the new Anna Nicole yet.
Okay enough rambling. Back to the balcony.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Hammam
I'm guessing that the Nicosia Hamman won't look like this. Though with the Greek / Turkish competition here it might
It's weird being in a divided city. You pass the blue hatted UN troops as you walk along th estreet and suddenly you're at a checkpoint; passports out, guns pointed in your direction and senses heightened as you hit a Turkish area.
Smiley on the Greek side, deadly serious on the Turkish. I guess that's what being an "Occupation Force" does for you.
Photos today and then (between feeding the meter on the car) on to the Hamman for a treatment.
Should be good.
It's weird being in a divided city. You pass the blue hatted UN troops as you walk along th estreet and suddenly you're at a checkpoint; passports out, guns pointed in your direction and senses heightened as you hit a Turkish area.
Smiley on the Greek side, deadly serious on the Turkish. I guess that's what being an "Occupation Force" does for you.
Photos today and then (between feeding the meter on the car) on to the Hamman for a treatment.
Should be good.
Breaking a rule
I've always said that it's a bad idea to stay in a hotel that has fewer stars than a General in the US army... but the Hotel Centrum (***) is very pleasant indeed.
We just arrived after a trip through the mountains that took just a little longer than we would have liked, included one detour to a very tight path sans tarmac and (alas for the Yellow Peril) into the mountain itself. Yup I reversed the rental car into a mountain. Oops. Still it's almost undamaged.
We found the centre of town remarkably quickly... called the elevator 'the lift' and generally felt at home immediately. Didn't want to leave the villa this morning - but we have some plans to buy which helped lessen the pain.
Talking of pain or room has a large stone step up to the bathroom - wonder how many late night broken toes that's been responsible for?
We just arrived after a trip through the mountains that took just a little longer than we would have liked, included one detour to a very tight path sans tarmac and (alas for the Yellow Peril) into the mountain itself. Yup I reversed the rental car into a mountain. Oops. Still it's almost undamaged.
We found the centre of town remarkably quickly... called the elevator 'the lift' and generally felt at home immediately. Didn't want to leave the villa this morning - but we have some plans to buy which helped lessen the pain.
Talking of pain or room has a large stone step up to the bathroom - wonder how many late night broken toes that's been responsible for?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Ouch
So having been on Jude's broken back for the last couple of days (she's been in agony and popping ineffectual pills like Liza at a Studio 51 reunion) we finally headed for a doctor this morning. Better pills. An injection into her ass and the promise of a day at home to recover may do the trick. I'm hoping so - when she spends the night awake and in pain she starts to tidy and then to do laundry - as a result the only things that I can find today are stretched out on a washing line across the pool
Monday, May 26, 2008
alive and kicking
the last couple of days has seen us driving towards so many ruins we could have been in Florida.
Lots to do here and Jude's penchant for off-roading in an 800cc car remains unmatched. By rights we should be dead at the bottom of some gorge - or huddled half way up a mountain waiting for salvation to come in the form of a friendly goat hunter --- but Hyundai and an unburstable AtoZ seem to be on the side of the righteous so far at least.
Nicosia is going to be ten degrees hotter and considerably less cool in terms of air quality and ability to just chill by the pool... so we're going to make the most of what we have here. Lots of lounging. Lots of monastry wine. Lots of alone time.
Which Jude needs ass her back is in spasm and she can barely move ---> still at least the painkillers and muscle relaxants are cheap and plentiful here
Lots to do here and Jude's penchant for off-roading in an 800cc car remains unmatched. By rights we should be dead at the bottom of some gorge - or huddled half way up a mountain waiting for salvation to come in the form of a friendly goat hunter --- but Hyundai and an unburstable AtoZ seem to be on the side of the righteous so far at least.
Nicosia is going to be ten degrees hotter and considerably less cool in terms of air quality and ability to just chill by the pool... so we're going to make the most of what we have here. Lots of lounging. Lots of monastry wine. Lots of alone time.
Which Jude needs ass her back is in spasm and she can barely move ---> still at least the painkillers and muscle relaxants are cheap and plentiful here
Sunday, May 25, 2008
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