Shoot coming up

Since I got the new camera I've started talking to more people in more of the photography clubs around the area. Well not so much clubs - they died with the Nudie Pics of the 1050s but the Groups that like to play with cameras at informal get togethers.

And I've started to realize that while many have a surfeit of equipment they have a paucity of ideas. Something that I'm using to my advantage - I hope. Many have models booked for shoots and are generous enough to allow a couple of people in to the session in return for some fresh ideas on what to shoot.

Perfect. I have the ideas about WHAT to shoot --- they have the technical skills to know HOW to shoot it.

First one is coming up January 18th and will feature the four lovely ladies pictured here


Should be great

Brrrrrrrr

Beach reflections
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

Took the dog for a walk today and had to turn back as the path through the woods was frozen solid and much fun as it is to watch her go into 4 leg scramble mode I didn't want to freeze to death having broken my hip in an 'old man's fall'

Hard to think that the pic here was taken only 4 days ago. But that's what happens when you vacation in the winter; coming back is always a shock.

Anyway chilling this week. Found a great camera book and now playing with some flash modes. Have New Year's Eve sorted (at last) ---> local band rather than Jay Leno in Canada; the hotel had no rooms.

Which reminds me - must buy bubbly for Aussie friend. What is it with Champagne and the Ozzies?

So we're back

christmas morning
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

And while everyone else is excited about sunshine and 8c we're feeling the bite of the wind and the sting of being back in a town where the monthly "What's On Guide" is aptly titled "Fuck All"

Actually that's not fair... but then since when has fairness had anything to do with what I write here? If life was fair Al Gore would be being called "Mr President" and Manchester United wouldn't get every penalty decision go their way at Old Trafford.

Still this was Christmas morning. Coffee roasted on the island; a balcony and the impression of civilization. Where we were was empty. Almost completely. And sure the sand was less fine than down on Grace Bay but miles and miles of coral banks and snorkelling opportunities made up for that.

It was fun. Too short. But fun. And now we put our heads down. Work as hard as we can for the next seven months before seeing what life in another country (again) has to bring us.

I have all kinds of plans in my head. Many prompted by a work-permit promise that would allow me freedom to work for anyone. Cool. Maybe a three day week. And time to write the book. Perhaps a Brand Coach company - that does for brands what Life Coaches do for executives "What IS your purpose?" or perhaps, just perhaps; nothing at all. A photo tour of the world. Not that I've earned it recently. But screw it, life is short and it's time to live some.

Here's to 2009. It promises to be brutal. But there's beauty in brutality. Just ask Mickey Rourke

Pancakes and iguana

That's pretty much today's agenda. Jude doing pancakes now. Then a boat to iguana island. Cool.

hot tub therapy

the hot tub here is odd. It had been deserted, mainly because a faceless mr Becker liked to crank it so high that one the asbestos toed could get in and partly because the place has been largely empty. But vyesterday some new people arrived, and their leader is a circuit motivational speaker who says things like "when you generate conflict you get neutrality and inaction" in the hottub

His wife was accused of "reframing" and the story he told about a bid to cure boys in a Manchester school of their accents ended with the parents "beating their kids and telling them that an accent wasn't a problem, can you believe that, eh?" (he's Canadian)

His wife meanwhile was "trying to avoid the wife archetype and find my bliss in the freedom that he's given me even though a part of me is screaming there is no freedom when you move us somehere so small there's literally nothing that I can do"

The woman next to her - a recently diagnosed ex workoholic "the addiction of choice for woman with low self eesteem" seemed to think that. Bliss could be found in writing self help books that covered the same topics as those already published by qualified professions. "some people won't hear the message until it's in your voice" she said and for the first time I nodded.

It's all about frequency.


Mr Becker turned out to be a Floridian who'd worked in the Ford whitehouse

Santa!

so this morning we decide to drive downsome roads not meant for a daihatsu charade and finally make it to a beach deserted of everyone but Santa. Santa!

Seems the old saint was about to catch a boat to a nearby ultra swank resort and throw gifts at kids. But not before I got my photo.


It's a better story thm this but the I pod somehow robs narrative of charm

Merry Christmas people

Jude not nude

it seems that I my I pod wants to call Jude nude instead. Very commendable bit of suggestion there I pod folk. Things here going swimmingly though it feels as close to Christmas as judy finnegan does to a slender sober virgin. Still the skies are blue the sea is aqua (fittingly) and as you all know, I'm not one to complain

quick one

we made it. Typing from my I pod here as we brought no laptops. Nude making horse noises as the wind comes in off the sea. But I have a gym satellite radio and the forecast for good weather.. I.

Charlotte

Uptown Charlotte
Originally uploaded by Casting Shadows

So here we are in the Sheraton, Charlotte, NC.

It's better than the Marriot in Philly
But not as good as the Westin in Detroit

3 airport hotels in 24 hrs.
Yesterday was like that.

Our Detroit plane got in three hours late.
US Airways had one member of staff on reticketing.
It took 15 mins per person.
There were 120 people from our flight alone

Tempers flared on the plane "You have a problem with me we take it to the air bridge"

On the ground we got blitz spirit and people helping each other out.
It took hours but we got a flight this morning via Charlotte

Then checked and saw that the airline hadn't made the connection in over a week.

SO I stood in line again while Jude headed for a brilliant RiteAid to get her meds.

We managed to switch stuff around.
Got in here at midnight last night.

Have tickets for an 1135 today.
Which is coming from blizzard hit Rochester.
But is only 20 mins late (thanks flightstats)

Oh but last night we got delayed to.
Just as we hit runway it was ablaze with sirens and flashing lights
A plane with 'priority issue' came in
We waited
Then our weight was off
We waited

Left 90 mins late.

That's 5 hrs on the ground for a 54 min flight (kinda)
and 5 hrs in lines

Fingers crossed for today

Greetings from Philly

santa's helper went to jail
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

Yes Philly!

Our plane from Detroit broke down

It was supposed to fly on to Turks and Caicos,,,, but instead they sent another plane before we landed.

120 people missed connections.

The line for reticketing was 3 hrs long

Jude has forgotten her medication.
We're going to an island
On a Sunday Philly may as well be an island

Gonna stay here tonight and then tomorrow try to fly first to Charlotte and then on again.

The connection time is tight. But we'll see.
Fingers crossed for us.
It's not been a good day to date

we're off

circus girl
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

the weather outside is frightful
but the caribbean is delightful
as long as we get to go
let it snow, let it snow, let is snow

Then came the snow

A2 snow 12_19_08 2
Originally uploaded by direfloyd

Another snow day today - although I did go out in the car as far as he gym and was again impressed by the manners of the little Suzuki and its ability to make light of snow covered hills that got the better of other cars.

It's a weird snow. Small ice pellets that rattle as they hit the ground, covering you in crystals of pure cold before you've taken a step.

I'd love to say that it's beautiful... but it's not. It's just murky.

Oddly too there are three vehicles out clearing the parking lot outside but not one clearing the road. Which is why I'm at home arranging calls de conference

Never simple

Ice Storm 2007
Originally uploaded by William Molenaar

So we're planning Xmas in the Caribbean. Hurrah.

And what happens?

Well first we get a trio of huge storms that threaten to shut down the airports, delay all flights and generally keep us here.

Then we get temperatures of -24C threatening to freeze the wings off any plane before it takes off.

The dog develops a stange choking / sneezing / belching / farting motion that stinks out the house and threatens to have her excluded from daycare.

And work gets busy.

I tell you all I need now if for Jude to come down with leprocy, for the UK to declare war on the hotel that we're heading to and for the airline to introduce a punitive 'baldy' tax and I'm done.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Nervous glances

Today's Paper?
Originally uploaded by STIS

So last night's snow storm - and the predictions of two more to come have me glancing at the weather channels more nervously than a prom queen at her date as he uses his brother's ID to check into the motel/

It was bad.

Saturday is going to be -19C and worse.

Luckily Jude's car is up to the journey... and I'm up for it.

Get us the hell outta here

My last Ford post - I promise

Roush Mustang on Custom SevasForged R5
Originally uploaded by GREATONE!

I know - I'm becoming a Michigan bore.

But I work with people who work with Ford and therefore I'm closer to the facts than I have been before. So here are four things that America should know about Ford, but doesn't

Ford's don't fall apart

It's not just industry stats that show this. Or Initial Quality surveys. The 'bible' Consumer Reports magazine now says that Ford's reliability "is on par with good Japanese automakers such as Toyota and Honda"

It also says that on quality Ford is continuing "to pull away from the rest of Detroit."


Ford makes the safest cars in America

The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety gave Ford more 'top safety picks' than any other manufacturer.

Ford also has more 5 star crash ratings than any other manufacturer


For is pretty hot on Technology

Sync is exclusive and makes your phone, your i-pod and pretty much your life voice activated. The new Fusion Hybrid has the most advanced dashboard display oin the US, safety technology is lightyears ahead. My Key will allow you to program the car to limit more reckless teen driving behavior


Ford's aren't gas hogs

The new Fusion will be the most fuel efficient midsize in America. The hybrid kills the Camry.
The Escape hybrid is the most fuel efficient SUV on the planet.
The V6 Mustang gets 26mpg highway (31mpg UK)
The Focus equals the best mileage out there too... the 2.0L gets 35pmg (42 UK) on the highway according to the EPA, compare that to the 1.5L Honda Fit which gets 33pmg

Enough. I'm sad I know.
But I keep hearing how the domestics are dinosaurs
"Barely in the 21st century"

Then I look at the F-150 truck that uses RFID tracking to remind you if you've left a tool behind at a job, allows you access to your office computer via a fully hooked up 'in truck office' screen, at Sync, at Hybrid and at the upcoming EcoBoost engines and I think - "why isn't anyone calling these people out?"

Normal service will be resumed tomorrow

A little about detroit

abandoned trainstation
Originally uploaded by silke s.

People keep telling me all about The Problem with Detroit. Mainly they want to tell me all about the problem with the auto industry. I've stopped listening to that one - mainly because the conversation is based on prejudice rather than evidence and I'm too old and too weary to spend time arguing opinion.

One quick example of this though. Car and Driver just reviewed the new Ford Fusion Hybrid. It's great they said.

In fact what they said was

"The first thing you need to know about the 2010 Ford Fusion hybrid is that it’s the best mid-size hybrid sedan on the market. Yes, that’s right: it wipes the floor with the Toyota Camry hybrid."

In their tests it drove better, was more fun and got an overall 3mpg better than the Toyota.

The first comment in the thread that followed?

" i would still pay a little more for a more refined and better mileage Toyota Camry hybrid"

People are LITERALLY blind to news of US superiority, it's so surprising people just block it out. And that, rather than 'decades of mismanagement' is why the industry may be doomed. Well that and some really crappy Chryslers.

Anyway that's not the point of this one. The point of this post is 'the problem with Detroit' or rather the problems in Detroit.

Why the hell isn't congress talking about THIS?

The first thing you need to know about Detroit is that it's losing people - fast. This started with the move to the Suburbs in the 1950s. The highways went in, the streetcars came out and about 10% of the population left for the leafy surrounds. The 60s saw the city lose another 9% of its population. The city lost another 20% of its population in the 70s. The 80s saw another 15% fade away and the 90s yet another 7.5%.

At its height Detroit was home to 1.27% of the US population. By 2000 it was home to 0.34% of the population.

Why are people fleeing?

Well Marvin Gaye thought that he knew way back in the 70s


Crime is increasing
Trigger happy policing
Panic is spreading
God knows where we’re heading

Where we were heading was to a place where compared to the national average you're

7 times more likely to be murdered in Detroit
4 times as likely to be robbed
5 times more likely to have your vehicle stolen
4 times as likely to be assaulted

As of 2005 Detroit became the poorest city in America too.

47.8% of children live below the poverty line (then $19,000 annually for a family of 4) This year average HOUSEHOLD income dropped almost 21% to $29,109 - that includes ALL people working. Not one suburb or area posted an income gain

In terms of health Detroit is the 5th most obese city in the US with many areas now designated 'health deserts' - places where fresh food isn't freadily available.

Forbes voted Detroit "Most miserable city" based on unemployment (around 8,5% before the economy hit the toilet), violent crime and Superfund sites.

Commute times are good but we have some of the worst roads around - and as you can see from the image above our train station isn't exacly spick and span.

So why post this? I don't know. I'm just sick of being told that the problem with Detroit is that auto execs have private jets. No the problem with Detroit is that it's a city that's been abandoned to poverty, crime and ill health. A city that's literally being allowed to crumble. A city with huge issues - and huge potential that's being left to fester.

Sure America loves to hate Detroit, to hate its cars and to scoff at its miserable weather. But the decline of Detroit should stand as a warning to the rest of the country. What happened here can happen anywhere. And you don't even know about it. You look the other way - and try to stop the change in your pockets from jingling as though we're beggars standing between you an a $4 coffee.

The problem with Detroit isn't the businesses that it has left. It's the fact that Detroit has been abandoned. And that's a crying shame.

Last week in the office

DSC00273.JPG
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

It's the last week before christmas... kinda. Last year I came in and did some stuff on the couple of days before Xmas Eve and was entirely alone.

This year I'll be in Turks and Caicos and of course I'm sure that the office will get busier than the snizzy durinbg a convention.

Still I'm doing what I can to clear the decks and repave them with holly and with good cheer. Ho-ho and indeed ho.

Windier than you could imagine here - I have no idea what's going on but I do like watching people angled at 45 degrees into the wind - turns the world into a participatory version of the Smooth Criminal video.

Erm, that's it. Not a great post but then whaddya want from me, huh?

We're back

And it was THIS much fun

Off to a camera event

With nothing to do here and the skies a deadly gray Jude and I are heading out to Redford near Livonia where we're told there is a camera sale and model shoot going on.

Now with Redford is hardly UP (Upper Pensinsula non Michicaneerites) it's also not Ann Arbor. So the $5 entry might actually give you the right to SHOOT the model. Which would of course make for some spectacular photos - especially were people to use high velocity rifles.

Worth the chance I think...

1st self portrait

1st self portrait
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

So I went out and spent the $20 on a compact flash card that I needed to turn my camera into a camera rather than a piece of sculpture.

Then I went out and bought a bag to put it in. And with the bag came a free extra battery (sweet)

I'm still obsessed by dust of course - even though the camera spends half of its life shaking its sensor... but then in this dry air I'm a bit of a dust factory - everything is flaking as you can no doubt see.

Minus 8c here so the vegetables can remain unphotographed.

Instead I pointed the camera at myself, turned 'shaky hands' on and pressed CLICK. This is the first thing that came out. I think I like it.

Purgatory

So my lovely new, shiny, double lensed, 14.2MP with a sensor that can just about handle it camera showed up on Wednesday

But the CF card that I need to actually store any pics on it is coming from a quite different supplier and despite having been mailed on the same day is due "Sometime between the 11th and the 16th"

Gnnnnnnnaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

Will wait to see whether it arrive tonight and if it doesn't I shall make a quick dash down to the local camera store and pic up a wee, cheapie - just so that I can spend Saturday morning photographing vegetables down at the Farmer's market and Saturday night photographing people getting into vegitative state on cheap vodka at the Erb party.

Plans for today --- Jude's off to Novi to do some shopping at the posh mall (I already have the acrid smell of hot plastic in my nostrils)

I'm off to work - where I'll watch the big screens talk about 'The Big 3' as though Ford is in as dire trouble as the other 2... all the while understanding that the problem with the American car industry when it comes to Ford isn't American cars... it's America.

I seems we can forgive the Japanese years of poor product - as soon as they pull their act together
Ditto with the Germans - remember when BMW made bubble cars and VW has been at the bottom of quality lists for years
Even the Koeans can be forgiven for The Pony

But when Ford starts putting out decent product again nobody wants to look. It's depressing. But then sometimes industries are at the mercy of whim, fashion and prejudice. You can make cars that people would want but if they refuse to kick a tyre then it's pointless.

Oh well - nobody will end up walking to work. It's just that a lot of people won't be driving to work anymore either,

No entries :-(

The Dirty Show Detroit is an Art Exhibition that shows off all kinds of 'sexual' 'art'

They just sent me a 'last call for entries' and despite my best efforts I really don't have anything to show them - unless I decide to enter a 'performance piece' - which at this point would mean committing to entering and re-entering a dwarf in a number of inventive ways in front of a crowd feigning disinterest

Still I may well have a look through the archives - or take the superzoom to a dogging spot and see what what I manage to get

So I made it to work alive...

back from the undead
Originally uploaded by KatColorado

... and am kinda wishing that I was unmaimed but in a ditch somewhere (they build 'em wide and shallow here, the roads are crumbling, the salt is rationed but they do try to minimize the effects of crashing)

Today is too busy. Rushing from place to place in search of meetings that seem to be 'springing up' all over the place. I swear that meetings are triffids and clients are vampires.... it's all fitting together now.

So I made it to work alive

back from the undead
Originally uploaded by KatColorado

Oooooohhh Arrrgggghhhhhh

Sleepy
Originally uploaded by Kaj Bjurman

So this morning the snow started to melt and the rain started to fall. The sidewalks were thick with patches of black ice and getting to the gym became an exercise in slipping, sliding and falling forwards.

Yet when I managed to get back to my car I somehow forgot that the surface beneath my tires was treacherous. That's what a ton of steel will do for you.

Needless to say, first gear, 6mph and I was sideways, drifting impressively towards an oncoming garbage truck, the traction control light flickering like gaudy Christmas tree decorations. The rear wheels span, the car fishtailed and I got hod of it just in time - shooting forwards as though I'd been in control the whole time.

The 35 mile journey to work is going to be 'interesting'

Sony alpha a350

Sony alpha a350
Originally uploaded by Michael Nilsson

Yup

Counter to everything that I thought I was going to do I finally chose a Sony camera that doesn't really look or feel substantial enough to be a DSLR but that will be a base upon which I can start building a collection of Zeiss lenses and Minolta bits and pieces until my camera bag is fit to bursting and I decide whether or not this photo lark really is for me. Went against all advice and bought with a kit lens - but only because the kit was on offer and came in cheaper than the body alone. So now I have a great 'lensy' Christmas list (all you rich readers out there)

Pentax came closer than I thought to being the #1 choice too - but they blew it by blurring the edges between their offerings. The have a K20, K200 and a K2000. And as you add a zero to each you supposedly move down the chain. But then each of the models has an advantage or point of product superiority over the others --- and you end up wondering why it is that the K2000 is faster and has better ISO range and noise performance than the K20 for example. So I was so lost in 'which feature do I most want' that I left the brand entirely.

Canon had a whole bunch of cameras that were really well reviewed. But I have the shakiest of hands and the fact that image stabalization came in the lens rather than the body bothered me. Why should I pay a 'shaky hands' tax on every lens that I buy when I could pay it once and be done with it?

Ditto Nikon. I love the strap (and the yellow Nikon logo) and I love the image quality but again it's all in the expensive glass... and I don't want to do that yet.

Panasonic I liked. And the G1 would be a great choice if I wasn't looking for something that looks mre serious. I'm sure that it's a great format and that one day the world will use it. It's portable. There are some great lenses to be had and the battery life is excellent - but the truth of the matter is that models don't respond to dinky. They like to see weight and lots of length. And that's what I'm looking to give them.

So I am now (and forever I guess) a Sony guy. Wow. Who'd have thought it. But I'm excited. Camera should be here before the vacation. And that's gonna make for lots of interesting shots (I hope)

Plus I have the Panasonic Super Zoom for those 'get 'em unawares' moments and a tiny 'in the pocket but big zoom' for the 'flip flops and outta the house' days.

Expensive weekend. Oh well.

It's -9C outside

And REALLY windy

So in the middle of the night I got up and booked Xmas here

What to complain about today?

pic4.jpg
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

Well I could complain about the weather.. cold enough to make you think twice abt walking the dog, snowy enough to make you think about driving anywhere. But I have a big coat and a car with AWD that makes mincemeat of the 'hill of skidding death' outside our house

I could complain about a $188 Wholefoods bill - but then we got lots of nice stuff, munched our way around the store and (at this moment in time) aren't really short of cash for groceries (though we know how quickly THAT can change)

I could complain that Slumdog Millionaire still isn't showing in Ann Arbor - but them we have two art cinemas within walking distance, a dollar cinema in the mall and a decent multiplex less than 10 mins away.

I could complain that my camera isn't the latest, greatest or really the best for what it s I'm starting to enjoy doing. But then I've spent much of the day looking at replacements and deciding against all but three possibles (Canon 50d, Nikon D90, Pentax K20 / K2000)

So I'll not complain at all.
Until tomorrow anyway

ALF

Giant roach? I don't get it.
Originally uploaded by melmikell

I pretty much hate academia.

Or rather what it does to the people who pursue it as a career path.

This of course is a bit of an issue when your partner is cruising down the academic highway toward Leather-Elbow-PatchVille.

But as far as I'm concerned it's fucking Scientology.

First they strip perfectly capable people of their confidence.
They constantly undermine. They criticize. They set up different rules.
They allow you to grope in the dark.

Then they introduce a mentor who can lead the way.
But only so far. he's there to get your trust then spin you again.

There are barriers and onstacles to overcome.
Each is seemingly arbitrary. But each is the key to the next level.
And you won't quit - because you've already put in so much time and effort.

So you go from proposal to outline to thesis to the quest for publication to job search to quest for more publication to possible tenure based on publication - and each stage opens you up to criticism from the anonymous; to rounds and rounds of changes; to stages of limbo.

It's just fucking soul destroying.

The brightest, most capable, fabulous people I know have been turned into shells of self doubt by this system. Unable to see their intelligence, their wit or worse - their purpose - in the murky sea of things that need to be done.

Worse though are the kids that have only ever been in academia. Because they believe that it's all that matters. That it's the ivory tower from which all wisdom is thrown down to a mob desperate for scraps. They have a genuine belief in their own superiority that lives alongside a desperate inferiority complex - am I good enough at this? what if I'm wrong and there is life outside of the ivy covered walls.

These kids are aggressive, condesending, shallow and utterly without charisma. And they shouldn't be. It will take tenure - and then some to mellow them out and allow them to become the smart, funny, secure adults that they should always have been. They're stunted.

Oh and don't get me started on the politics of getting a job. Offers go out to number 2 choices in the belief that the number 1 choice will take so long to reject an offer that the number 2 will no longer be available. People are allowed to try to impose their own superiority by attacking those interviewing for a position, in public and without real motivation other than malice.

It's fucked up and I hate it. The people that I like the most (and some that I really don't) spend too much of their time miserable in pursuit of a goal that was never really their original objective - forced down a path of discontent by a process that need meat for the grinder.

Well enough the Academic Liberation Front is now in session. Let's save as many of these people as we can. Let's deprogram them. Let's show them that impact doesn't only come from articles in a journals. That they can have a direct impact on the world, rather than a citation in another paper that will be read only to be cited. Let's show them that there are paths that aren't relentless. That there are careers that don't routinely undermine. That they are sufficient as people.

And then let's introduce them to REALLY dirty sex

Time for less

I'm thinking about really stepping up my photo taking. It's something that I really enjoy but also something that's actually quite difficult to do when you don't live in a major city and you don't have the credibility of that Nikon printed shoulder strap.

So I'm feeling a little 'chicken and egg' at the moment. What comes first - a burst of activity during which I find models and really go to town with my wee Panasonic ultra zoom or a shiny new camera that's good in low light and begs me to find subjects worthy of its expensive lens?

I'm not sure whether there is a correct answer to that - but today will see me checking out photo clubs in the area.

Time for a new car?

2010 Ford Mustang Hood and Grille
Originally uploaded by BrothersPerformance.com

The 2010 Mustang was just launched at the LA Autoshow and even though new engines are only a year away and the economy is in the toilet I have have to say that I may be prepared to pay the 'nerd tax' to get one and put up with 'only' 315 bhp for a while.

My 2009 Mustang has been pretty good. Almost exactly 20,000 miles to date and while the interior has sounded flimsy there haven't been many problems and their have been lots and lots of big grins.

It would be the perfect car for California (esp with a glass roof) where I'd not have to ditch it in the winter and take Jude's AWD Snow Shoe instead. That said I've driven the little Suzuki the last two days (taking it through 2,000 miles) and it's as sound a car as I've driven.

This is all very car-y isn't it?

I'm sorry - just saw the new Mustang in Gold at a gas station yesterday and thought "I could get me one of those"

Half cocked

You know there are some things about working where I do that I love. The people are bright and resilient. The opportunity is huge. And the task may one day reveal itself to have been historic.

But within that there's an institutionalized love of the familiar.

For example tomorrow I'm running an ideas session.

I asked for 2000 sq ft. Out of the building. Somewhere large, bright and open with big windows, space to spread yourself and lots and lots of character.

I got 250 sq feet, in the building, with no windows, a corporate table and all the character of a lobotomized accountant.

The problem is that nobody sees the value of stimulus.
And that bugs the hell out of me.

Today will not be pretty.

Why this week may be a slog

Was gonna count the ways... then thought show a pic instead

So Singapore was weird

P1090846.JPG
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

In that while it looks the same - the atmosphere is very different.

There's a real move to foster creativity. To support the arts. To experiment some. Singapore suddenly has looser limbs, less restrictions and less of the feeling that somebody, somewhere, is watching you at all times.

I liked it a lot. Which of course opens up a whole other can of worms.

The job that Judith went for may not come through (it might, but you can't count on that). The job that I'm looking at is a little 'junior' for me.
But the sun shines there. And the people are nice. And there's always opportunity. So what do we do if Jude's job doesn't come through (it's about a 10-1 shot) and if my job doesn't really pay? Do we say 'Screw it!' and go anyway - or do we look at other options?

Throw into the mix the fact that there may be offers here in the US and the water starts to look very muddy indeed.

My instinct is always to make an immediate decision and then live with the consequences. That's also my problem in general. So instead I'm gonna sit tight and wait some.... but man is it gonna be hard.

Back from Singapore

P1090862.JPG
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

Where I pretty much ate, drank and gained weight.

Trip was good though - kinda convinced me that I'd like to be there whilst reminding me that getting there won't be as easy as we'd thought.

So it's fingers crossed and wait and see I guess.

Short blog entry this one - jetlag and Jude still in bed so aware of noise of the keys.

Topline summary : We don't know when our current apartment will be sold from under us, we haven't found a short term replacement, we have no idea where Jude's job will take us next, nor do we know when we'll know --- oh and my company is moving out of the UK meaning that my visa might be revoked.

Once I had a secret love

I am in love with Private Structure underwear. And it's not for the Mango Bulge 'feature', the 'countries of the world' motif or even the 'fashionable short leg piece design for that masculine image' - nope I love it because it fits well, it feels good and I'm not going to have to remove it on the plane tomorrow.

There's nothing worse than underwear that can't stand up to 24 hrs on a plane. The kind of underwear that's so desperate to escape it makes a break for the nearest crevice and refuses to give up until it's either joined your internal organs or been ripped from your body as you try to keep your balance in an airplane bathroom that smells of vomit and is suspiciously sticky to the touch.

So I'm a Private Structure guy. And proud of it.

Here's to knickers you can fly in

Haji Lane

Haji Lane
Originally uploaded by nuke_ad

Haji Lane in Singapore feels like Williamsburg, Brooklyn

If Williamsburg has had old shop houses to work with.

Miraculous what can happen in a short period of time.

Proper blog entry tomorrow... I promise

Dinner on the roof

geishas
Originally uploaded by thomask

So last night we had dinner on the roof of a newly cool bar - soaking in the skyline and the chilled Miami like atmosphere.

I like it here. Perhaps a little less than I remember liking it here. It's not quite as shiny. Not quite as easy. Not quite as glam. But the cool spots are cool and people are paying attention to design.

No "strip mall chic-free zones", no nasty lighting. Just sumptuous, gorgeous, beautiful spaces that act as shrines to care.

And that I like

Gym-nasty

P1090749.JPG
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

Why are there so many grunters in the gym?

I know that it's a place that attracts the vain and that many there crave nothing more than the spotlight, but really? Do you really want to be noticed for your 'Monica Seles being beaten by the secret police' impression.

And besides we're not thinking - 'no wonder he's such a fine specimen, what with all that hard work' - we're thinking 'God I hope he doesn't sound like that in bed' and concluding, with a sad shake of the head that you probably do.

Mind my fat mania is out of control. I noticed bruises on my sides today and couldn't work out what they were. Until I instinctive reached down to check on the 'love handles' and realized that the bruises exactly match the position of my fingers.

Obsessed? You betcha.

Ten years and cooler

Screening Room at Ann Siang Hill
Originally uploaded by Steel Wool

It's been 10 years since I first moved to Singapore.
10 years this week to be precise.

And man has it got cooler.

Spunk Alley (the only place for a same sex bunk up) is now less sticky underfoot as gay bars have opened

Flights to Thailand are less full as weekend parties take place on the beach

Young people no longer flaunt pocket protectors - instead looking like slightly chunkier versions of the Japanese

And the whole place just feels a little less uptight... hurrah for Singapore

Blagging a blogging

I'm in Tokyo... at the rather swank NW lounge
Blagged my way in so that I could let friends know that I'm delayed by an hour here
Hope they get the message as my phones baint working
Anyway short and sweet.... just like the staff here

Ice Cream and Ham, Patzcuaro

Ice Cream and Ham, Patzcuaro
Originally uploaded by zocalo2010

It's 2am

I'm in the lobby of a brown conference only hotel

I've had 4 glasses of wine
2 pomegranite martinis
2 ibuprofen (vitamin I)
and a couple of Talisker

An obese Mexican is spiing Choons from his I-Pod
A fattish girl with great tits is 'flashing the merchandise'
A very gay man is kinda hitting on me
Two people from GE finance are hitting on a woman from GE finance

And at one lonely table a couple is earnestly ignorning the 'bitch on the pole' lyrics of that are coming from old school mexican i-pod

I may be fatter but I'm happier
And I got to conduct an orchestra today

Man am I ready for life (again)
Bring it on...

Chickenzilla vs Elmo

Chickenzilla vs Elmo!
Originally uploaded by Mr Jaded

I've been a naughty Elmo. This course has broiught the worst out of me - and the martinis have been Robin to the Batman of my own self-destructive impulses.

Last night I found myself on a bus making up nicknames for all of the people around me. Some were willing participants; others merely got to overhear my inventive venom.

This morning the awfulness I feel has nothing to do with lack of sleep. And nothing to do with alcohol. It's a fear that I may have hurt nice people in a bid to amuse the less nice here.

When did I revert to highschool, huh?

Oh shit

Fat Arnold
Originally uploaded by socpunk

two days of conference food - and three to go

I can feel myself getting softer by the minute --- despite upping the gym and joining the group of people who run around the grounds in the evening.

This conference really is the last thing I needed before a week's vacation... no more alcohol, no more starters and, alas, no more mirrors, for me

A simple statement

Wedding Ring Heart
Originally uploaded by Troy B Thompson

This blog opened (years ago) with a statement of unconditional love for my wife.

I just wanted to say that it still holds

All over the place

[40/365] feeling grey
Originally uploaded by envious photography [sea]

The course that I'm on is one of those 'be emotionally free' things.

And it's doing me no good at all.

I reacted yesterday to the news that somebody had beaten us to an apartment on our floor by half a day with an hour of sobbing, a horrible over reaction and all of the melodrama of a Greek heroine on bad medication.

Today I'm calm. I slept 4 hrs. I'm on a computer at 6am. I've already done an hour in the gym. I've read my case studies, folded my clothes, arranged my travel and (no doubt) worried and upset a wife who already has more than enough on her plate... but I'm calm.

So to those I owe an apology, I'm sorry. To the rest - drama queenery very nearly over

Oh dear

Caution Speed Bumps
Originally uploaded by Neubie

The hotel that I'm learning to make friends for profit at is 70 miles from any airport - or $220 in taxi terms.

it's also about 3 miles from the nearest road.

And built in a donut shape that makes it hard to navigate but impossible to get lost in.

The staff are weary - knowing that conventioneers always start quiet on Sunday and end, on Friday, bed hopping BFFs who grow drunker and more demanding by the day.

The patrons - all here on courses - expense everything and spend what they've saved on shiny suiuts and helmet hair lacquer.

If I had a soul it would be crumbling

If you only see one movie this year

Make it this one

Slumdog Millionaire

More from the evil empire

profile
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

I'm off on full week course aimed at teaching me how to manipulate friendships for profit. I intend to take the lessons onboard and frankly forget them in terms of work. I did something similar with negotiation - which has proved very useful with realtors and car salesmen but hasn't been used anywhere else.

It's a full week but I'm taking gym stuff and will avoid the bowls of candy that will doubtless litter the place.

Back Friday - leave Saturday. Giving me just enough time to look at #510 in our building. Yup a unit up for rent and less than 50 yards from our front door. If it's available for short term lease I'll take it, move over a weekend and be done with the uncertainty of 'what now?'

Jude's back from Portland and heading towards Montreal. Singapore from there. Hurrah!

No cancer yet

So once again the Doctor repeated his "you're boring" refrain and I have to say that it's one that I quite like.

It seems the coughing, the swollen glands, the exhaustion and all of the other maladies really are just colds, allergies and too much time online when I ought to be in bed. Who'd have thought?

I'm not sure why I entered into this one with such a sense of 'something is wrong' when the others I've viewed as inconvenient and expensive but unlikely to throw anything up. It's odd that I can read the motivation of other people so easily (when I can be bothered to look for it) but that I remain a mystery to myself.

Best theory is that this has been the first time since treatment that we've been making long term plans. Michigan was only ever a two year gig. Before that we were planning for a move here. Now Jude's looking at a move that could be permanent and I'm thinking how nice it would be to be in one place, for a long time. Of course the idea of long term is threatened by the ever present specter of early death - and the very real possibility that I might need specialist treatment in the next few years. So scans represent a threat to a future that I'm wanting to plan. Sound plausible? Good.

Anyway have to dash - the dog is back from daycare and I want to spend some time with her

In reception

Hotel Roger Smith
Originally uploaded by tgtsfkncld

I'm standing in the reception of the Roger Smith hotel after a farcical scan (everything got blocked, leaked, broke down) and a nice dinner with an old friend.

Jude is stuck in Chicago. Stranded by bad weather and about to be 5 hrs late for job interviews tomorrow. She's coping better than I am. She's better at the Doris Day attitude than I am.

Results in the morning - rather worried by the whispered 'good luck' from the radiologist today. But then I'm pretty freaked generally. Time for bed I think.

The things that shape our perception

Nightmares
Originally uploaded by timsamoff

Tomorrow I have my first CT scan in 6 months. And it's doing scary things to me. The cough that I have is no longer allergies, it's cancer. The tiredness that I feel at the end of the day is no longer a long day - it's exhaustion. The glands that I feel swollen are no longer just fighting off a cold - they're the first sign of cancer.

It's weird. I knew that 3 month scans would show up cancer before I had a chance to feel its effects. 6 month scans I'm not so sure about. But it's not that uncertainty that bothers me.

What bothers me is that whatever I'm doing there's this shadow of doubt hanging somewhere. We're planning for the future at the moment... where next? what next? when do we move? And the whole time I'm thinking "... if this test is clear" or "damn wouldn't an It's Back diagnosis ruin these plans"

I guess that once you've learned that life has a habit of tripping you up and kicking you in the rubbery bits you come to expect a storm whenever the seas start to look inviting.

Thank god the scans are tomorrow - this hyper awareness is killing me

First snow

First snow
Originally uploaded by Kirill Tryaskin

We got our first snow yesterday. Light but icy. The kind that looks pretty then turns roads to icy death as it lands and becomes an invisible, smooth diamond of inky blackness.

Was fun to watch, less fun to be in and has made travel today all the more exciting.

Suddenly the thought of Singapore - even a rainy season Singapore - is becoming a whole lot more attractive

If you're looking for a way to show an idea

the this website (actually this page) is genius

The things that we hate the most

Can you tell we're moving?
Originally uploaded by Oinster

Our landlord is coming over today to make a video of the place that he can then use to sell it - meaning that we're going to have to move before we move (in June)

As a result we're doing the 'pre-move' dance and throwing away anything that's been in a box, closet or drawer unused, unread or unloved for more than 6 months.

I'd like to say that it was liberating and that the 'out with the old spirit' was something that filled us with hope but it's actually an exercise in reducing the cost of moving by throwing away things that you might actually want to keep. And it's especially hard to do when the move is small.

Gimme a flight of more than 5 hrs and this kinda thing is okay. Don't and we're in flux again. And flux sucks.

All change

P1090252.JPG
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

you see what I did there? How about that for channelling the zeitgeist? And how about THAT for spelling?

So all of the US auto makers announced huge losses today. Chrysler (who also own Jeep and Dodge) are shit out of time and it looks bad for them as GM (is there a worse name for a 21st century company than 'General Motors'?) pulled out of merger / acquisition talks and announced that it's fast running out of money - 2009 being the date that they see it going bang.

Ford looked better, but not much. And of course all of the gloom around these companies makes selling a car even harder - would you buy a GM if you thought that they'd be going out of business in the next year?

I wonder whether the outgoing President is reflecting on any of this.

If they'd told him 8 years ago that the result of his presidency was going to be 1.2m jobs lost in 2008, a $10trillion dollar deficit, two wars, a collapsed banking system, the nationalization of the money markets, the death of the US auto industry, the sanctioning of torture, wiretapping of citizens, public flouting of the Geneva convention, the worst 'terror attack' ever committed on US soil (unless you're a native American of course) and politically the loss of the Senate, House and WhteHouse -- would he have stood?

Maybe it's not too late to ask him.

Mr President?

Dangerously tired

When Jude isn't around I quite often forget to go to bed. Or rather I forget when to go to bed and remember when it's so late into the night that any attempt at sleep would be pretty pathetic.

As a result I'm dangerously tired. I've dropped the dog food. I've almost hit a women crossing the street (okay jogging in all black, at night, across a stop sign) - I saw her late; missed the brake pedal and responded with the girliest of gasps.

What else? Well I was dreadful in a meeting, went blank on several occasions, managed to misuse the limited vocabulary I could muster and forgot the name of a close colleague.

Time I think for some zerious Zees