More Idol news

So it seems like Clearasil before picture and part time drag king Adam Lambert is a BIG GAY TRANNY.
Hurrah!

I've been calling him Tranny Meatloaf forever and now it seems that the boy likes his meat... hurrah and huzzah!
Of course it would have been hard for him to be any more out.
Closets lose their doors as he walks by.
But now thanks to the miracle of the interweb housewives everyone can stop voting for him - just like Jesus would have done.

This week's Idol was Motown.
Or in Adam's case "Homo-town" (geddit?)

Here's what the reprobates did...

First they went to Detroit, It was grim.
They visited "Hitsville" it was grimmer.
Smokey Robinson appeared - we checked for the Grim Reaper.

Then they sang.....

Matt Giraud did "Let's get it on" in a warty if Justin Timberlake was uglier and slightly dumpy way that had Paula panting (maybe its the girdles?) and the rest of us slightly perplexed.

Kris Allen ”How Sweet It Is” - went for the Johnny Matthis side mouth croon, lesbian shirt and equally lesbian sincerity. I've been less bored at 'let's see how long it takes granny to die" weekend parties. INexplicably the judges loved him.

Scott MacIntyre (”You Can’t Hurry Love”) sang as though somebody had dared him to 'sing nerd' - his nasal whine was almost drowned out by his attempt at Honky Tonk piano - but alas not quite. Randy thought that he was "better than that man" --- I'm beginning to think that blindness and tone deafness may be somehow linked.

Megan Joy (”For Once In My Life”) she should sing Amy Winehouse, then go home basically. Here she raced through the song, threw in a signature spasm or two, missed easy notes and tried to look 'quirky'

Anoop Desai (”Ooh, Baby, Baby.”) - the most boring version of the most boring song ever to be transmitted. Another two minutes and his mom would have killed his dad just so that she could throw herself on the pyre. Racist? No - observant.

Michael Sarver (”Ain’t Too Proud to Beg”) - Jesus may have built his oilrig and blessed his bootiful bebby durrrterrr... but if I wanted to see a fat eunuch version of Tom Jones I'd buy Englebert Humperdinkn tickets, thank you.

Lil Rounds (”Heat Wave”) - They dressed her like Tina Turner, she performed like Tina Micheals, the checkout lady at our local Costco. Smokey says she could sing the phone book, I kind wish she had. C'mon big ass, show us what you're made of.

Adam Lambert (”Tracks Of My Tears”) - Looking like a drag king, sounding like a drag mime, A-dame (tee-hee) Lambert did a 'straight' version of the song that would have made him a contender were it not for the taste his taste for cock left in the mouth of American housewives who know that BJs is a store - and a birthday one perversion and sin against Jezuz.

Danny Gokey (”Get Ready”) - His wife is still dead. That should keep him safe another couple of weeks.

Allison Iraheta (”Papa Was a Rolling Stone”) - the soon to be trailer park, drug addict lesbian showed Josh Stone what it was all about on this "never mind the verse I have a lick in the chorus" version of the old classic. Good but I have more chance of winning,

So that's it.... what next week I wonder

A no to London

So we decided against London. A few things weighing in. Visa stuff that would take a while, money stuff that would mean living frugally to really make enough for savings given the time lost to visas, and my need to be here for movers, finding a Montreal house, incorporating etc.

It seems odd being unemployed and turning down offers of interesting work with good people and six figure salaries attached... but the truth is that in the 9 weeks that I'd have been able to be there I'd not have the time to do a good job, not have the ability to fly home when I needed to and not made enough to overlook those facts.

Concentrating on getting things signed and getting back into the business of working all day now. A real shame as I'd have liked a London stint - if only to remind myself why it's not the place for me... but these things happen and you deal

Am I fat and lazy?

So I finally got the offer that I've been waiting for in from London today. And if the dollar was still only worth half a pound it would be the kind of offer that I'd be all over. But the dollar isn't worth half a pound and now I'm in a quandary.

You see the money is really good for someone living in the UK. But I wouldn't be living just in the UK. I'd still have a house and expenses (extra expenses actually) in the US. And I'd have flights. And the extra money would trigger tax on the income we get from our house.

The only way to really make it work would be for me to share a place. In Essex. Which might be an adventure. But an adventure that I thought that I'd left way behind. Long ago.

So it comes down to this. Am I prepared to abandon family for three months, to share a house, to spend time on planes in return for something to do and (if I live frugally) about an extra $10 - $15k in the bank account?

I know that most people would scream "Yes" to this. But then the situation here is complicated. And maybe I'm just too fat and lazy to actually do this. Or maybe the time could be better spent elsewhere.

Oh - and the visa people have me down as German. Pushing things back by 2 weeks. And generally buggering things up. Great.

Inching toward an agreement

I'm slowly inching my way towards an agreement that might see me in the UK for the next three months or so. What's standing in the way are the usual things agreement on money, start date and end date - but also the need for the paperwork on my new visa to arrive before I head off elsewhere. Which, from a distance, makes me seem complicated and a bit of a risk. We'll see what happens. I'm interested, but only at the right price.

Pictured is my very scruffy dog (the groomer is chock-a-block) and her less scruffy daycare fave. Velcro won't let the woman out of her sight and circles her as though she were a stray goat from the flock. No idea why they bonded - but they have so when the door opens and it's daycare days I have one very happy animal on my hands.

Looking for a quick trip within the US too. I'm thinking Miami. Jude is thinking further afield (like not in the US, not a long weekend and not somewhere that speaks English)... that will depend on the When with the UK job. And on the If I guess.

Other stuff happening too... but I can't really lay it out here yet - esp as I signed an NDA on it.

Legal

Caution
Originally uploaded by Penny Green

Well we got confirmation of our change of status... which is good and means that Jude can now work again and I can stay here as long as she does.

Well that will be the case when the paperwork lands in our mailbox. What we have right now is an e-mail saying 'approved' and instructions to wait for the paperwork.

Good news as it means that we'll be able to travel again. Again once the paperwork arrives.

Still no news on Springtime in London for me.... grrrrrr. Will give it until Thursday and then write it off as an opportunity that wasn't to be. I've uncrossed my fingers but still have an eager eye on my inbox... if that makes sense.

Anyway just a quickie today as I have calls to make and internet sites to search - as well as ex-clients to thinly disguise as members of the underworld in my new 'who knew it was a comedy?' book

My next two shoots

I have some amazing people lined up for my next two shoots...

Here's how I described the ideas at casting...


**********SHOEBOX FULL OF SECRETS*************

I'm looking to mix the look of Found Magazine with the intensity of Post Secret... and I'm looking for people willing to go there with me...

What do I mean?

Here are a couple of examples....

The model acts out a scene that's close to their own heart... one story so far is of a girl had a topless pic that her boyfriend had taken of her when they were still at boarding school. She carried it everywhere as she was terrified that it would 'get found' even if she threw it away... We're going to re-enact that image (10 years later) with her holding the pic... she then signs the image "I used to be terrified that someone would see me like this"

Have another guy who had a stash of pretty tame gay porn when he was younger... he kept it in the attic. Going to shoot him upstairs, in late 80s clothing surrounded by similar mags - he signs it"My parents will never know about this either."

It doesn't have to be sexual, it just needs to be personal.

The second is the idea that I'm really interested in

*** PUBLIC VS PERSONAL SPACE****

I have an idea for a series of images that try to capture the difference between how we all want to be perceived (especially as people who work with images) and what the rest of our lives look like.

What I'm looking to do is shoot in two parts.

The first shoot is all about capturing images of everyday life. It will be black and white and grainy and photo journalistic. We're looking for around 120 images of you going about your everyday business in the house as though there are no cameras there. Waking up, brushing your teeth, showering, throwing things in the microwave, throwing things at the TV. We capture 'real life'

We then print those images and use them to create a giant mural / montage that will act as the backdrop for the second shoot (and final image)

This mural will be around 7 feet high and 12 feet across and we'll shoot you in color, in front of it in whatever costume, make-up etc. you'd most like to be seen in.

The idea is to use our life as a backdrop for your larger than life images.

This is an idea that I'm really, really excited by. The first part is going to take some time, and some patience but the final images should be revelatory... and how often can we say that?


THE RESPONSE so far has been terrific, I love the people that are coming back to me and the stories that they want to tell.


In addition went out into the Ann Arbor sunshine today and managed to turn this innocent scene into something that has a bit of a story... fantastic. Loving life

Filling in time while people deliberate

So I made my pitch for the job in London and am now waiting for a decision.

In my favor is that I'm good, they know of me, I work quickly and I have a reputation for being able to work with designers.

Working against me is the fact that I don't know when I'll be allowed to leave the US, will only be available for 3 months at most, am murderously expensive (by UK standards) and have a reputation (undeserved I think) for being at the cool end of the spectrum when it comes to the kinds of clients I excel on.

More in the minus pile. But hey we'll see how it goes. If there's cash, a car, a spring in London and some interesting work in it I'm all for it. If any one of those things falls out well then I have things to do here, an internet full of pretty people doing kissing and a shed load of details to sort before Canada.

So it's a waiting game. Today I waited for and with The Script. I like them. They played the spiritual home of the Borders book chain here in Ann Arbor today and were mightily good I have to say.

"Hope you enjoy the album, it was a labor of love" they said to each signee; blissfully unaware of the Hue and Cry songs that set off in my head...

Love is a burning flame

So did a marathon reality viewing session last night and ever since have had "Ring of Fire" in my head. Not that Adam Lambert's version was any good mind. Adam is the person that Paula is most likely going to jump on this season (after the odd looking guy who seems to be milking his dead wife for every vote he can)... but it's weird as Adam is kinda a tranny Meatloaf, with bad skin. Really bad skin. He ripped of Buckley and ended up sounding like The Doors on an off night in Morocco but fair play to him...

Alexis Grace (a name or an incantation?) went home for murdering Dolly Parton's Jolene while looking very much like the bird like songstress. She narrowly lost to a fat bloke who seems to like his family and his blue collar. Which was a shame. Sure they need a little blue collar in there but this guy is more Michael Bolton with an appetite than Springstein. Best seen him described as Michael “Jesus Built My Oilrig” Sarver

Other idolists? Lil Rounds, a woman with a voice as big as her ass. And that's sizeable. Like Floridian.

Anoop, an Indian with the soul of an accountant who seems to have more and more family in the crowd every week. Seriously somebody ought to call the INS because give it another three rounds and we have a potential Black hole of Calcutta tragedy.

Kris Allen looks square jawed enough (though jowly parents hang out in the crowd like specters of 'I coulda been a contender' future) - he's a crap balladeer, so he'll make top 8

Megan Joy I like - she moves like a bird that has fallen from its nest, in short broken hops and sounds like a bird who has had it's larynx crushed by a nazi jackboot. But she's cool and quirky and looks suitably mortified in the dreadful group singing bits.

Danny Gokey has the dead wife. And the misty eyes. And Paula's number.

Allison Iraheta is 16 but sounds like Suzi Quattro. I like her. She's like a less drunk version of the mad nurse they had a while ago. She rocks it like it's a wedding rehearsal dinner and is the most likely to shill for a local abortion clinic I think. Something about her says 'trailer park in your future missy'... I hope it's an airstream

Scott Macintyre is blind. Which is great during the group numbers. Mainly because it seems that the other 'idols' are daring each other to lead him closer and closer to the edge of the stage. This week Paula cruelly told him to lose the piano, if she's spun his chair around quickly enough she might have accomplished physically.

Anyway as penance for all of this nastiness here's a pic of me to poke fun at

Better yet

Why I've been a bad, bad, blogger

I've not been as regular with these blogs lately - and the weird reason is that I've been busy. Really busy. Take yesterday, phone interview in the morning, talk to broker before lunch, run to gym, 4 hours in the dentist chair, come home, cook, couple of hours spent looking for Canadian places to live online and thats without factoring in the photos that I have to edit, the website that I'm keen to run my eye over or the people whose calls need returning (including a guy who wants to buy a kit lens from me, SCORE)

So sorry that these have been infrequent and about as interesting as a Gillian 'Poo Lady' Marathon... but times are frantic right now

First day of unemployment

So here in Catch 22

11 - Can't work in US as I'm without a Visa

22 - Can't leave the country until I get a new non-working Visa

But today was nice. The sun shone. The temperatures improved. The dog was walked. The cars was serviced. Pictures were worked on. Phone interviews were set up. White papers were written. Books were drafted. A vivid nightmare was outlined as a horror movie elevator pitch,

Tomorrow - root canals, more photo work, phone interview with Europe.

Meanwhile House(!)

Y-ouch

Yesterday I had my first gym injury.

I hurt my back jumping rope.

Today I shot 7 models in the Harajuku style

The camera was heavy

My back feels worse

This evening we saw a really good Varsity Hockey game - much dancing

Again the back feels it

Hoping that the Rockwell exhibition at the DIA tomorrow is less strenuous.

Meanwhile this is what happens when your 9am cancels and only your wife is around...

Bless her polyester thigh hi stockings

Not the best shot this but the first outta the cam

Yet more hush-hushery

I'm starting to get very excited by a couple of the prospects flying around at the moment. One I really have my fingers crossed for will keep me out of trouble for the spring. It could also get me deep into a client before 'going it alone' in June / July.

The other thing that's exciting is that 'going it alone' might not mean being alone after all. There are people out there that I've always wanted to work with; some of whom have skills that are totally complimentary to mine -- and there's a chance that Alternate Hypothesis might not me a one man band - or even called Ha.

All very vague I know. But if things go to plan (and I'm aware that they rarely do) I might have a job for the spring, a company that's partly my own by summer, a backbone of regular income based on selling some of my time, relationships with a couple of clients and the chance to partner with people that I love and respect.

Meanwhile sitting tight, writing lots, enjoying sunny but cold weather and hassling and hustling things along

Who knows, perhaps, maybe

Can't say too much about this.. but there is a chance that a job that people have been talking about from different angles might just happen. It's still early days and the stumbling block may be that I only want the job for a couple of months but it and I am looking hopeful.

Post Canada things are starting to look as though they might fall into place too.

Plus today I managed to clean the house, we got our change of status acknowledged, the sun came out and pilates felt as though it was kicking my ass.

Not a bad one... now if only I could stop models dropping like flies...

Possibilities

All kinds of possibilities opening up to me today. I've been talking about becoming part of a team looking at new ways to do planning. I've been talking to some agencies about innovation and how to train people in the processes of innovation. I spent some time talking to someone who asked whether I'd be interested in teaching at a University (that would really bug the proper academics, lol) and recently I've had the idea of going 'client side' floated past me...

All good, all speculative and all delayed until June for legal reasons.

Meanwhile I'm about to shoot eight models (I'm banking on 5 showing) this Saturday. So preparing for that.

Moving...

So things finally started moving for me today.

First a lot of people came back and told me what I kinda knew. The chance of something short term between now and the end of June is slim to non-existent. Get used to it.

But there is interest. There are opportunities post June. There are people doing interesting things. And something may well be through soon - pending an agreement on funding and my cash demands.

Besides that I have my book to write, someone else's book to edit, two start-ups looking for help, an ex-client that I won't leave in the lurch, a company to set up and a trends piece that needs some serious thought.

Not a bad day - and a busy one.
Thank the Jezuz

Ah New York

New York City Feb 2009
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

The thing abt New York is that it's full of opportunity.
Or it would be if I had a visa to take up that opportunities there

But I don't
And so I had to grimace my way through the weekend
Explaining again and again why I can't work here, even when work is offered.

Still it was 20c, sunny and full of people that I really like.
The New York office was funkier
And the people there happier
Plus I saw some old faces that seemed younger than ever

Fun time, let's see where it leads now...

We're in New York City

Flatiron Building, New York City
Originally uploaded by Joep R.

nothing to report yet - but jude looking fetching in new sweaters

Things moving...

Halden Ainderloch
Originally uploaded by Shadow Viking

So we fly to New York tomorrow to see what's happening there that may point toward a new direction for us. Wow that was convoluted. Wanna see what kind of thing NY has in mind re. our working together. That's better.

Offloaded The Mustang to the dealer who ripped me off least obviously.

Submitted all of the documents we have so that Jude's people can get her Visa application in

Went into my office for the last time to hand back all of their equipment.

Wrote to an ex-client in a bid to pacify them and smooth things out.

Starting to feel like a new page. We'll see

Hurrah for academia

Professor Severus Snape
Originally uploaded by hk_traveller

I have to say that while I tend to think of academia as being slow, stuffy, heavy on red tape and arcane in its ways the response from Judith's people on our need for new visas has been fantastic.

They've found a way that she can keep working through to the end of her contract - though she may have to take a break while a new visa comes through, losing a month of pay. Not a bad trade off. It would also mean that I could stay too - though I'd not be able to work.

May have some news on that front too - though it would require a big favor from someone and I'm not sure that what I'm asking is in their power to grant. We shall see. Nothing rosy, but nothing ashen either.

And Jude gave me a name for my new company. Her million dollar education finally paying off. I love it. Registering it and then I'll have more.

Oh and fingers crossed for a stock rally - I have some assets to liquidate...

Herding Ducks

DSC04767
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

So it looks as though my loss of job has some pretty serious implications. The biggest one of which is that it means that Jude can no longer work either. Which means the loss of two incomes. Damn.

It might also mean us having to leave sooner rather than later. And the thought of having to pack up and get out of dodge so quickly isn't one that I'd really wanted to deal with.

We have some options - and we're exploring those. And I'm still waiting to hear from my company lawyers... but right now I feel like the sheepdog we saw at the Detroit Dog show yesterday - trying to keep my ducks in a row

More when we know it