Off to Switzerland

IO'm off to Switzerland for a couple of days starting this weekend. It's work but they've built in a nice cushion - arrive Monday, work Tuesday, leave Wednesday... all very civilized. As of course is Switzerland (I'm told)

I'm hoping to get out to where Jude went to school (Leysin) as well as get a couple of pics in (it ought to be photogenic, this is after all God's own land). I also secretly hope to meet David Bowie, Iman, that teenagert shacked up with Phil Collins and the Ghost of Freddie Mercury. But maybe that's a bit of an ask.

Chocolate coins, nazi gold and cuckoo clocks for all

Yup we have snow

Snow Guitarist
Originally uploaded by Sel S..

which means tahat the dog is going bonkers, New Yorkers are risking heart attacks as they shovel aerobically and the city looks cleaner than the mind of a freshly lobotomized virgin.

I've spent the last two days in a company meeting that has actually proved quite fruitful. I woke up this morning thinking that we should ban the word idea. If I was writing a process now it would go from TRUTH to PROMISE to ACTION.

So a TRUTH

'Young guys think about women a lot, yet they're hopeless when it comes to actually getting them"

Leads to a PROMISE

"We need to help young guys in the dating and mating games"

Leads to an ACTION

"Lynx grooming stores" / "AXE chat up books"

There are a million examples... the process dowsn't change but the vocabulary gets less loaded. People panic and overthink when asked for an 'insight'... they fudge and flounder when asked for an 'idea' and they pass the buck when asked for an 'execution'... so let's change the language and see what happens.

Okay - I'm off to work... wearing sweatpants (they're warm ok?)

Steve

The Nekkid Farmer

The Nekkid Farmer
Originally uploaded by Amber... Bamberboo.

Man it was cold today. Stupidly, ridiculously, mind numbingly cold.

Which explains why this entry is so late and so short.

A better entry tomorrow, I promise

;-)

If Nora Jones channelled her dad

Lady with a Guitar
Originally uploaded by Jessica Bender.

... the result would look something like this.

Have a busy couple of days ahead with a three day off-site at work coming right before Switzerland next week. And of course I may have to take time out to help Jude with the typing of her thesis now that the muscles in her right arm are torn (a fracas and crushing incident on the subway). She's not looking good, so with deadlines loming it may be time for me to take a day off and take some dictation.

Today was too much TV day. LOVE Rob and Amber on the Amazing Race, HATE Jenny on The L Word. In between Denise Van Outen on You're The One That I Want, lots of animals on Discovery HD and of course pratfalls galore on AFV.

Close to midnight here and as ccreatures crawl out from every tomb and Vincent Price adds depth to Micheal's yelps it's time for me to turn in for the night. Night all.

HDMI rocks

Please suggest a title
Originally uploaded by se.nsuo.us.

So having been seduced into buying too big a TV I decided to invest in HDMI connectors. Now HDMI has been the subject of much 'rip off police' debate of late as the big stored try to sell on $80 connectors with people's new purchases. Of course they're not $80 connectors and can be had online for $15.

I paid $20 for mine today and used it to connect Hi-Def Cable Box to Hi-Def TV entirely via digital signal. And the picture ROCKS. I knew that the HDMI from DVD to TV was good (I'm using a DVD with an upconvertor) but the cable connection is amazing. Add in digital surround sound via last year's gift to self Home Theatre system (connected by Digital Audio Cable) and you get something amazing.

I don't wanna leave the house.

All of which is techie snooze speak for 'Wow'.

Which is what this pic made me say when I saw it. The photog was looking for an appropriate title (having tried 'float' and 'star') and I thought that I'd throw it open to you guys. I'll pass on your best suggestions (and your worst) and let's see whether we can't extend our sphere of influence.

We bought a new TV

newTV
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

... in the American style - meaning that it's a massive 40" (that's 1 metre Euro fans)

Having said that the full HD mode is amazing and it fits rather well.

Another bonus blown... lol

Nude March Continues

Whatta'wazoo
Originally uploaded by SYNTAXYS.

here at FabulouslyThin and woefully predictably the number of viewers seems to be on the increase again. Yesterday was the best Friday I've had since the spectre of death floated most visibly above me - way back when.

The strange thing is that the viewers aren't coming in via search engines tagged with searches such as "Lindsay Lohan does coke off Britney's shine pate" but rather are old friends, coming back in search of emotional rawness and settling for physical vulnerability instead (or something)

It's also entire probable that the numbers bump is nothing mroe than a bump and that the yards of naked flesh no on display here have nothing to do with any increase in traffic. Let's face it statistically I'm more likely to pull in people with fetishes for typos than to pull in errant teabaggers in search of new helicoptering techniques.

All of that said I'm meeting my favorite people for brunch today, have an appointment with the gym and have the final touches to put to a presentation. Time to get this ass into gear.

Raining on my parade

Trying an upload directly from blogger today - mainly because the image wouldn't allow me to blog it and I lived the veins in the hands enough to steal it. My own hands are cut and bruised to tiny swollen pieces at the moment, primarily due to a fit of doggy excitement upon my picking up Velcro from the groomers. I look like a suicidal bar brawler. Which isn't a bad thing to look like in some of the Dive Bars near the office.

It's pouring with rain outside but I'm keen to get to work as I have a proposal to get out of the door today and it's going to take some time. More archery tonight, Jude now has her own bow (very exciting) and I have, well I have a METRO card that will mean it's a free ride there.

Off with me then... more nudity tomorrow (site stats up 45% yesterday despite M's protestations) - who knows if I get wildly popular I may even post my acne scarred arse, that ought to dampen demand

Naked Truth (Provocation)

Naked Truth (Provocation)
Originally uploaded by Yare.

I chose this picture not because it's great but because of the note that it had attached to it

"This photo has the most views of all my photos. It jumped on the first place in one day! Why?!? Beacause I'm naked... What's the conclusion? Well, I'm starting to belive mr. Willheim Reich. He claims that the existence of capitalist society depends on suppression of the sexual instincts which is systematicaly puted upon from the institutions of capitalism, like religions, schools, corporations"

I think that the reason that it grabbed my attention was that we were talking about hyper sexualization yesterday - that thing that they did tpo Britney with the pigtails, rubber suits and boob jobs - leaving her nowhere to go, The worry was that sexuality is so aggressively commercial these days that it's actually become divorced from sexiness.

The porn stars that sell us their robotic couplings are scupltures of collagen and silicon, each knowing their niche and bleaching their assholes. They're relentless rather than sexy. Stripped of dialogue by gonzo and tease by the relentless skip to the money shot trigger finger of DVD users everywhere.

And where pornstars lead America follows. So our models, actresses, young women and our commercial materials all start to mirror this aggressively one dimensional model.

Meanwhille the resistance starts to spring up. Burlesque rears its head promising glamor, curves and a sense of tease, a sense of fun. Brands jump on the 'not us' bandwagon, championiung a different beauty ideal - still selling that firming gel but stopping short of the bum bleach (for now)

So perhaps this blog should go naked. A nude image every day. A pneumatic nude - pumped up and soulless. I'm sure the view count would rise. Or at least I think it would. Let's see.

Busy, busy

hand
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

Got to bed late last night having decided that white walls, mini tripod and auto focus were too good to resist and found myself justt experimenting with what my camera can do (more than I'm technically capable of carrying off I think)

Today I have interviews on Indulgence, a call with an Israeli company on bring some of their products to the US, the start of a two day workshop on what our offer as a company is and of course I have to write a presentation for next week's 'away days'

"All go" as my dad would say. So gonna duck out here at three paragraphs.

Wheeeeee

Wheeeeee
Originally uploaded by Mr.Bones.

and so the merry go around continues.

Today sees more celebrities checking into and out of rehab with alarming frquency (Britney three times in a week, Lindsay for Oscar parties, Gay anti-gay preachers 'cured')

It will doubtless witness Hillary racing Barrack to be the first to raise enough money to buy the next election (or failing that enough to just buy America and have doen with it) whilst growing in girth and stature Al Gore waits in the wings - Oscar polished, Nobel prize in the bag and plan to have Bono as running mate carefully considered

It will see another couple of centuries of time poured into watching bad mime on You-Tube (where on earth are the drag queens? they could rule a world of shoddy mime, camp theatrics and unconvining busoms)

It will see me heading in to work and sitting down with a bunch of very smart people only one of whom is dedicated to making the world better in any solid way (our Independant diplomat) but all of whom are trying to improve things one product, one package and one category at a time.

It will see me check the site statistics on this page at least twice and me suck in my (soon to be eviscerated) stomach at least twenty.

It will see the Girls of American Idol trying a little less hard after making it through last week. The fattest one full of hope having seen the success of Jennifer Hudson, the smallest wondering whether a deformed midget, female, Richard III look-a-like really could hog the spotlight in anything other than the circus.

And doubtless it will see somebody else drawn to my suddenly saleable mix of 'quirk', 'distain for business as usual', 'years on the job' and 'bizarro accent'... or at least I hope it will. There is after all nothing more flattering than flattery - and being chased (rather than chasing escape) is something that lifts the soul, just a little

It's snowing!

88hydrant
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

Or it least it snowed... last night. Only an inch of two but after the dirty frozen chunks of ice that littered the sidewalks a sheet of something that at least looks a little more clean and fresh is very welcome.

All manner of US only related things to be getting on with today. Mis-billed insurance claims, State income tax refunds, covering for some people out on "Charisma enhancement training" that kind of thing.

A short entry this morning as I'm dashing around like Nigel Havers on speed... more (interesting) tomorrow

Blur of a weekend

88blur
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

Well the weekend passed in a blur of inactivity... we rushed from place to place doing almost nothing. The pic sums it up really.

Tomorrow I have to call the hospital (they billed the wrong insurance company for my scans); call the dentist (it's been almost 3 weeks waiting for insurance approval) and call my client (she's been in Africa)... not a lot I know but busy enough for a Monday

Art, art everywhere

You can take the cow out of Wisconsin, but you can't take Wisconsin out of the cow
Originally uploaded by Hello Doodle!.

There are more major art shows in New York this weekend than there will be in the UK all year.

The city has gone art crazy - especially as city bonuses are at an all time high and it's Tax Refund time. So once you have the houses and the cars the only thing that's left to do is invest in some canvas... and people are going crazy.

Of course all of this leads to endless debate about the Disney-fication of art and the show stopping tactics of young artists trying to make a name for themselves (giant beams of light being a biggy this year). PS1 - one of my favorite modern art places has responded to the feeding frenzy with a show called 'Not For Sale' where, you guessed it, nothing on display can be purchased.

Me? Well I'll see how big the bonus is and check out the original Everharts.

Friday

ots
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

It's Friday and there are all kinds of things going on in the city. The weekend will see us going to some of the armory shows (lots of art this weekend) to some bodice ripper of a movie that Jude fancies, to an Oscar party (I'm going to squeeze myself into a cheap frock and go as Jennifer Hudson) and to '75 inches' a show about a straight man who worked as a drag queen - and all that people assumed as a result.

Throw in a gym session, some dog walking and a few episodes of Battlestar Gallactica on DVD and you have the recipe for content.

Hurrah

Sauce!

Does My Bum Look Big In This? - Shalom Harlow
Originally uploaded by daddyw.

A slow week at work this week has meant that work on the book is now in full flow. What started as random rants gained some structure when I decided (somehow, subconsciously?) that the whole thing should be structured around that time when agencies are their most 'agency like' - the new business pitch. The words are tumbling out and the jokes aren't bad either.

What's left to decide is whether I use langauge as clumsy as this sentence or not. No that's a given I won't, what I do need to decide is whether to make this a straight peek behind the curtains of the agency world or whether it should be a work of 'fiction' populated by a few well chosen characters. It's starting to feel that way to me.

Oh well writing is rewriting (as this un-re-written diary so often proves)

I'm Lovin' It?

I'm Lovin' It?
Originally uploaded by oybay.

Yesterday I had to turn down a job that, in truth, I'd have loved to say yes to. The timing was wrong, the city was wrong, the money was wrong etc. but just as it was starting to hurt I got this e-mail from a guy at work - and was reminded that the people I work with are pretty cool.

I'll admit it. I was in Wisconsoson. And I was crazing a Big Mac. I was cravin’ some Mickey D’s in Wisconsin. Having not eaten at The Clown’s House in a year or so, I wanted it. I craved it. And today I went for it.

The food was fine, just what I expected, exactly what I craved. But here’s the disturbing part: They put the nutritional info on the packs now.

What are they thinking? Is this meant to be a positive PR campaign?

Oh, 4569 grams of fat. Kewl. Make it a double.

McDonalds is being above the board now! Great! I feel better about my weakness and gluttony.

They might as well put a label that says “NOTE: Hey loser. Not that you care, but your ass WILL get bigger after eating this, and I can smell your pancreas smoking” (Ha-ha, bitches. MINE’s already dead! Who’s the smart clown mascot now!)

It’s like a prostitute wearing a t-shirt that says “over 678 served. This month.” Just not what you’re looking for in advertising...

I was one of the 3 people in the US who thought that Supersize Me was - while very entertaining and thought provoking - alarmist bullshit.

And I also studied food science, so I know how much fat is in fried things.

But, for friggin’ out loud, even I don’t want to think about what’s in my McNuggets...

Jude and Dave

thisone
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

It's quite rare to get Jude and Dave together these days. He lives in London, she lives in New York and ne'er it seems shall the twain meet. Unless of course somebody else is paying for the plane ticket.

There's a very odd thing that happens once your company starts to fly you around the world at great expense - you begin to believe that Business Class is the standard way to fly and that anything else is both 'slumming it' and somehow 'what I used to do before I earned the lounges, fawning and flat beds'.

You justify this in your head by thinking of business as a 'middle class' - not the ridiculous opulence and fake looking wood inlays of First and not the clot inducing tightness of economy.

Of course as soon as you have to put your hand into your own pocket and actually PAY for your own ticket things change. You take out your Gold cards, you start phoning people, you look for the upgrade and you chat too amicably to anyone in a uniform at the airport.

The card means that you can still use the lounge, so the idea of your being extraordinary is maintained and a fantasy of 'temporary slumming' and tales of 'no room in business' fill your head.

But what really happens is that you fly less. Fly less or not at all.

Which is why, I think, that the siblings see so little of each other. Whilst one really can't afford the time or the cash to fly in any class the other can't afford to 'fly right' and so neither do. It's a case of time and cash poverty meeting business induced snobbery. Though everyone involved will deny it.

Anyway I have jobs to turn down and scan payments to sort out (the hospital billed the wrong insurance company) so it's ciao from me

For my consideration

DSC_1331.JPG
Originally uploaded by jjohanne.

Since I changed jobs I've had nothing but interest from other companies who would like for me to work with them.

I have a call sitting on my answering machine that needs returning, a polite refusal in my draft box that needs to hit my outbox and a man wanting to meet me for breakfast later in the week to talk work.

It's all a little beyond fathoming but it's nice to know that the reputatio hasn't been entirely squandered while I've been in the US...

The weird thing is that this is the first time I haven't really wanted to move in as long as I can remember. Perhaps the stench of desperation was too strong to allow people to track the quieter smell of ability in the past. Or maybe I'm just sluttier these days. Who knows. But it is nice to be wanted.

Help!

Britney bald
Originally uploaded by joaqooo.

So it seems that Britney had quite a weekend. First checking herself out of Eric Clapton's Antiga rehab center and then flying back to LA for a night of self mutilation (head shaving, tattooing), mad muttering ('I'm sick of people touching my head, no-one can touch my head') and desperration to make the front pages.

It's sad to see our little pop strumpet so obviously and painfully exposed - but it's also tremendous fun. Britney it seems is falling into the 'tragic' narractive arc that has to lead to either an Elton John style redemption or an Anna Nicole Smith type ending.

Anna Nicole has dominated the headlines here all week - in a way that she always sought but never managed when alive. A dodgy will, a paternity battle for her newly rich (or potentially rich) baby, a fight over her body, Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, drink, drugs, death and somewhere in all of that something snarky and mistimed from Rosie O'Donnell.

Britney of course should be able to avoid the Nicole Smith trap. Anna needed the headlines in order to pay the bills. Her pathology for attention was of course what paid the rent as the fight over who got her elderly husband's money dragged on and on. She was a peculiar star in that she had absolutely no talent other than being able to generate headlines and sell pictures of her exploits as a result. She didn't sing, dance or act. She didn't model. She didn't write. Instead she showed up, she created a storm and she cashed the cheque as a result.

Brit' isn't in that situation - but her situation is equally out of control. She was manufactured. A perfect pop tart, singing perfect pop songs, wearing perfect pop clothes and making perfect pop videos. But the songs, the clothes and the videos weren't hers. She didn't have the voice to break free of the studio straight-jacket or the talent to break free of her image. The mouseketeer's only job was to stay beautiful, give good photo and keep her nose clean. So when the babies, the booze and the boys wrecked her looks and image there was nothing left. She's failed to uphold her end of the bargain and of course there was no-one there to stage manage her anymore.

People keep asking whether Britney can pull it back together. The answer is no. She's a product and if she's going to make it back then she's going to need to be put together piece by piece, note by note, gym session by gym session. Right now that's still possible - everyone loves a triumphant return from the brink; but if the next album flops expect to see the downward spiral of Britney take on fresh dimension.