Nobody leaves without a photo

Our old landlord (that's ex rather than elderly) came over today. I like him. He has hair that I'd kill for. And the cutest son on the planet. And he's kinda cool. So naturally I plied him with orange juice and took as many pics of him as I could. Results are here.

Rest of the day has been busy closing up gum. Booze ended badly when I baulked at 1am e-mails, demands that I spend more time in NYC and general chaos. Was just not a marriage made to work. Like Kate and Jon or Pamela Anderson and anybody. A shame as there are good people all over it. Good enough to make my absence go unfelt I'm sure.

Looking forward to finally having the decks cleared and getting on with my stuff. Business is looking as though it's about to really take off and I don't want to be caught with my pants down (mixing metaphors?)

Right enough of my rambling - time to tidy before my beautiful and successful wife comes home

Deliberate

I'm in the middle - or rather at the start of watching what promises to be the excellent The Damned United

But every time someone speaks Jude hits suck on the vacuum cleaner - and drowns out the dialogue.

It's now quite comic.

As is the scheduling with one of the companies I'm trying to work with. Shambolic. Ho-hum.

It's time to bring back "fuckwittery" I think

Kinda inspiring...

in the last couple of days I've met people who are shooting a very cool idea with an amazing Hollywood director, gotten together with a gender challenging extreme burlesque performer, arranged to go to diary readings by 4 sex workers, have sat at the table with a guy who worked with Tom Ford at Gucci and built a huge fragrance franchise post that, to Diddy's Ciroc people and a host of others who have made my jaw drop. I've also not slept. So cool and killer at the same time. Home tomorrow. Thank God.

Back in NYC

Back in NYC and already it's starting to feel like spring. It's 7c, sunny and there's a hint of flesh back on display as Gap scarves are banished to that 'where did we put them?' place until next year.

Decent trip in despite stupidly short notice, a flight that wasn't actually booked and a pilot who circled like a vulture over the soon to be corpse of a C list celebrity (their faves) Still the man at immigration was a big Smirnoff fan... which was weird and held up the line as we chatted about the various misconceptions about the brand.

But mainly it's been about meetings and calls and more meetings, then calls to arrange more meetings during which we'd discuss upcoming calls. Must find a shoot to help distract myself.

More and better tomorrow... when I'll bend over backward to accommodate you (matron! missus! sauce! etc)

So the heat didn't happen...

We knew that the weather was going to be bad when everyone we talked with mentioned the 'cold front' and pointed to the pile of sweaters that they had at the ready. The diagnosis was confirmed when the guy delivering breakfast greated me with a cheery

"Good morning; it is a terrible day"

And it really hit home when our Hyundai AtoZ (why do we always end up in Hyundai's redundant micro-car? could it be that we're cheap) was plowing through two foot floods in the backwaters en route to Santa Clara (home of bits of the remains of Che)

But ultimately it didn't matter. Booking an all-inclusive was a hideous and horrible mistake. It felt like a bizarre version of The Biggest Loser ranch; where each of the massive people struggled to gain as much weight as possible by piling on the buffet then laying stock still and slurping Pina Colada until it was time to eat again. Just horrible.

Still we got out and about. We climbed through bat and cockroach infested caves, bounced through mangrove swamps on a jet-ski, drove to strange and wonderful places, took recommendations on lunch, photographed people at home and marveled at how all life in Havana seems to take place on a balcony... at least until night falls.

So not the warmed bone marrow that we'd been promised; but not a disaster either. Now who's up for a swish villa in September?

Time for a wee vacation

It's time for a short interlude... Jude and I are looking to leave the snow behind (yup, snow at last) and to get a little heat in our bones as we head down for 8 days or so in Cuba. The animal food has been stocked, instructions written and the people briefed. The bag is packed, the flight is booked and the dog is looking at us woefully (suitcases make her sad)

I've been shooting as much as I could this week... two women, one guy and hope to get some great shots in Havana and surrounds... but for now tales of supper with Newfies, of enhanced woman on the living room rug and of the meanest air hostess to fly the skies will have to wait

Until March - peace out people

Back in the land of the living

I'm in New York this morning (flying back later today) and enjoying a morning that allows me to think hard - but not stupidly hard about things that are important but not Haiti life and death daily important.

I think that what I bring to any company at the moment is enough detachment to be optimistic, a short enough tenure not to be exasperated and enough energy to re-start the rolling of balls. So it's all about making it feel easy again. Losing the detail that bogs down. And setting people tasks that feel exciting.
At least that's how it feels this morning. I'm sure that it will change.

Have a hard-drive full of edits that need making when I get back... sigh (satisfied sigh)

2am posts

So I'm just back in from a photo shoot for the very lovely people at Glam Gam and Jude is up due to a combination of ailments, medication for the ailments and my inability to enter the house quietly. And here we are, in bed - she listening to an audio book, me writing a blog in what just might be the most 21st century moment we've had (in the bedroom) in ages.

Got some great shots tonight - the Beercan lens really works magic when teamed with the A850... but as each image is 40MB and needs converting to JPEG I haven't actually uploaded any yet. A shame but good things come etc.

In addition to all of the stripping excitement, naughty cupids, auctions and general theatricality (Montreal blows New York away when it comes to intensity in performance) I've been hard at work on all manner of things that actually get more exciting the closer they come to happening.

All cryptic I know - and I apologize both for my inability to spill beans and my unavailability to take calls - it's all very 2am at the moment

Crazy busy

I am a bad, bad blogger but sometimes life gets in the way of cataloging what's happening in life. Actually SJP recently said that in New York life was what happened while you were waiting for a table... I liked that. So I've been up to the elbows in gum, and in thinking about a new process that I can run for big corporations, and in Jude's spasming back, and my need to do tax forms, PR documents, more tax forms, a lecture at a university, a couple of shoots, a U&A study, dentists, doctors, bankers and lawyers.

It's basically been a lot of hurry up, wait a while, hurry up some more, dash, rush, wait. Frustrating as all hell. But there you go. As an example of what I mean. On Monday I'm in Toronto talking projects, on Tuesday I'm in New York closing out a project, on Wednesday I have a shoot, on Thursday I have shots and stuff then on Friday I have final submission of a document and on Staurday I leave for Cuba. Feeling the pace and my age. And it doesn't help that the newest version of Powerpoint writes in a format that no other computer seems to understand.

Grrrr.

Still at least I got another playboy shot this week - from a 45 minute shoot! no idea when I'll find time to edit the images.

Another in the series

I'm shooting three people this week - and finally have some more women on the roster. The shoot today is a trick set up but yesterday was pretty simple. It's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but there's something to this one that rings true and I think that it's amusing, if not funny.

Today is a woman in full military garb - which means that I'm going to have to run out and find full military garb (there's a store I know) and Thursday is my fave body building lady doing something that was originally soft and feminine.

I also have my eyes tested today, and an appointment with a therapist who, bless him, seems delighted at the thought of a new client to to extent that you start to worry about either the health of his practice or his own mental health. I'm one sunny reminder of 'our appointment' away from fleeing for the hills. Do I need therapy? I think so... just wanna ride the coaster that is life without fear of becoming derailed. It's an indulgence basically - but one I can afford.

Mind last night I watched Hoarders (an America show about people whose houses are a filthy, cramped, full of shit mess) followed by How Clean Is Your House? (a low rent, seaside postcard British show that features the same kind of messes)... Hoarders sends in a psychologist to help figure out why people are hanging on to so much shit it's endangering their lives. She pokes, prods and cajoles people into 'letting go' as a cleaning squad disinfects. How Clean is your House sends in a heavy set 70 something who says things like "You've let yourself get into a terrible state, depressed and for what? Want of picking up a duster - you daft apeth."

I have to say that while Hoarders is better made and probably better for the people involved long term my sympathy lies with the sentiment of the British version - which is probably reason enough to head for therapy.

Home, home on the range

I made it back to Montreal.

A quick dash from Cadbury in New Jersey to Newark, a LONG wait at security (one line, two idiots, much murderous intent) and out before Stormaggedon headed in (26 inches dumped on Washington in a day) and home in time to catch The Dog Whisperer.

Last night we headed for dinner with these lovely people... modern Mexican all around and some of Jude's fast becoming a specialty canapes afore we ventured out.

This morning was a shoot for me while Judith tried to get some reviews done (I was making a lot of noise) and this afternoon we're off to a Nordic spa to partake in a bit of a scrub, massage and thermal bath treatment, rolling in the snow optional but encouraged.

C;est ma vie

Once again

I'm trying to leave New York

A major storm is heading in

It's scheduled to hit as I'm scheduled to take off

Sound familiar?

I'm in New York

I'm unexpectedly back in New York after last week's meeting got shunted to this week... and the back end of this week. Fingers crossed that it will go well because there are good people on the brand and they deserve a bit of a break after lots of slog, we'll see.

I don't have much time for me during this trip - it's all office,  run-thrus and American Idol back in the hotel but I will try to connect while I"m here and I am looking to shoot this guy while I'm here  if possible...

All I'm carrying is my camera, a flash that I can;t trigger wirelessly (until the part arrives from Hong Kong) and two lenses... both portrait (a 35-70mm and a faster 50mm f/1.4)... should make for something interestingly lo-fi I'm hoping.

Home by Friday and then in Toronto next week in a bid to ink a deal that will put PFish in business in Canada.

My eyes? itchy, getting sharper by the day - still struggling with the glare from the computer screen

Brrrrr

So with the temperatures settled in the -20c range and a wind chill that makes it feel colder still I am boxed in, looking through hazy eyes at my computer and wishing that it was warm enough to take my lovely new camera outside for an hour or two. Alas the forecasters tell me that there's no hope of having electronics friendly temperatures in the next oh who knows how long and so instead I keep forcing Jude in front of the lens in a bid to figure out which button does what and why,

Most useful so far is intelligent preview. You click the button, it takes the image and shows you what it looks like - then allows you to play with the exposure and depth of field until the image looks the way that you want it to - adjusting the settings for the next shot as you go. Smart.

having no built in flash when every wireless Sony / Minolta flash is triggered that way is a bit stupid though. Sony's $600 fix looks no better than Hong Kong's $30 fix - so I'll take the $30 version I think - and see what happens as a result.

That's about it for tonight - hopefully will have more (exciting) things to talk about from tomorrow on -as I'm back in the office and on the look out for interesting projects...

I am weak

Okay, so I'm weak. Really weak. And obsessive. But knowing this makes me stronger. I think. Had to spend 3 days in New York this week. And another three next week. Am working weekends. And it's -20c outside. So I thought "Why not splash one day's work and just but the A850?"

Now there's a very good argument that I should have stuck with what I had and invested in lenses. But those lenses would have to have been sold when I went full frame... and that's a hassle. And I have 4 very good Minolta lenses that will work on the 850.

There's a better argument that I should have waited a month or so until the camera shows were done and the price would have come down... but you can always wait, prices will always come down and you always end up feeling as though you're settling for last generation's technology. Or I do.

So I've decided to just enjoy it. And it's 40MB RAW images (new harddrive next I think)

This was the first pic outta the camera, no flash (it doesn't have one) just a 40w bulb in a 500 ft sq room. It's not great but it was enough for me to think - "Good decision"

More PRK side effects

So today I have vision that's great long distance but with the computer is hazier than Ronald Reagan's memory and more blurred than a Cybil Shepherd close up. I can't see a fucking thing basically.

Frustratingly this is normal - I'm due some corneal irritation as it settles and I'm getting it. With eye drops making me first wetter than a nymphomaniac in a sex shop and then dry than a nun's twot at a bible burning I'm starting to get used to the extremes. And to be zen about them. See... Zen.

It's actually not that bad and being able to see 90% of the time is amazing. Let's hope that the other 10% doesn't take too long

Oooh, 'ello

So after the PRK (eye surgery not a stint in North Korea) - I finally have the protective lenses out and am seeing well enough to type, to read documents and to generally make my every thought know to every person willing to listen. It's weird being kinda able to see (like the Karma Chameleon and to certain extent a few of my younger friends) my vision comes and goes. It should slowly firm up (older friend gag goes here) before stabilizing in a couple of months. A long way for a ham sandwich you might say - but only if you're the kind of guy who plays chess in the park and won't pay for coffee that doesn't give you change from a single.

Tomorrow I get on a plane and head toward New York (concrete jungle, off pitch chorus, club anthem) where I shall tout my wares one last time before giving up and concentrating on the real work and the real money here in Canadia (if not Quebecistan)... New York seemed like a good idea as I know people there, can get the cost of the flight covered and of course it has lots and lots of camera shops (well they're stores but you get the picture - oh I'm good, did you see what I did there?)

Hoping to be back before the weekend is out as Jude has a friend staying, who I dreamed about only last week. In the dream we'd all been charged with tagging as many rats as we could with silly string that we were shooting from cans when suddenly she appeared from the canal carrying a large crocodile and beaming as only Steve Irwin, a Used Car Salesman about to unload a Pontiac and a criminal (spot the difference between those three) can.

Lasik day

I have Lasik today. The old fashioned, PRK, eyeball peeling, 5 days of contacts, 4 months of sun glasses Lasik. I'm not doing it for vanity or even for convenience. I'm doing it for the metaphor... the idea of seeing things in a new way, relying less on tools I know and on being freed up to do things sans excuses is the lure.

Still I do feel a little like this about it all.

Who knew I was 'sex positive'?

It seems that as I photograph more and more people without trying to jump on them, "introduce them" to my dog or generally reveal an agenda better left hidden my reputation as a 'sex positive' photographer grows. I'm about to do a Stella benefit (stella works on behalf of Montreal's sex workers in the absence of full unionization), am doing some backstage burlesque and have more and more people calling me and asking whether I'd be part of their project. I'm saying yes to anyone with a good vibe and being careful around the rest and I'm enjoying it.

Turns out I'm good around nudity.  The weird thing is though that I find it much easier to photograph men than I do women - and for that I blame Fiesta, Knave, Splosh, Big Uns and all of the other Reader's Wives porn mags of my youth. They basically programmed me to shoot naked women in a certain way. Later reading and the odd museum taught me that they were vessels around which light might shine.

Now when I shoot women I find myself trying to avoid the obvious, while shooting men has no real thinking involved. Weird... not a major thing but a sign that maybe the world needs a little more 'Sex Positive Thinking"

Cutting down on the shoots

So I rushed back from a great few hours in Toronto (who'd have thought THAT was possible?) and straight into a photoshoot that took up my whole evening... I had two more arranged for the next day, two for Monday and one for Wednesday too... which suddenly seemed like a lot. Yes I wanted to get in as many shoots as possible before Lasik took me out of the game on Thursday - but surely I wanted a bit of a life as well, didn't I?

Result? Cutting back on the shoots, trying to bundle them into Studio Days where I can get hair, make-up and real space and manage to get 8 hrs of time in a row.

Mind I do have my first night at a decent camera club tonight, some skiing either Tues or Weds, Judith's brother coming over, a really important proposal to get out, scans to arrange, taxes to do and a lot of money to make. Very excited by the potential in the business at the moment.

Right -am at the office time to stop stalling and get down to some actual work

What a mistake to make

I've wanted the Sony A850 camera from the day I first read about it. It's full frame, has a great sensor, is 24.2mp and contains all manner of useful bits and pieces. Today I made the stupid mistake of picking one up and testing it. It's gorgeous and snaps shots with a heavy thunk that makes my camera feel like a plastic toy. It was all that I could do to walk away - but I did. It's a $2000 investment and I know that the price will fall (my last camera, with a kit lens now retails at a mere C$420) but I'm just aching for it with every fiber of my being. Damn it.

On a kinda related note had dinner with a friend and his friends last night and was joined late by someone who had been working... he was a stripper in a male lapdance club and had made $1300 on his shift that night (a good night admittedly). That would buy 3/4ths of a camera. Now Canada is Full Contact so to make the money he basically had to chat up old men, lead them to a booth and then see how many songs he could get out of them before they balked at the escalating cost.... it usually ended up with them groping his naked genitals and requesting more (he's not allowed to comply) but it seems a small price to pay.

Real Gold was getting a VIP room booking - an hour with someone, a private pole, some champagne and anything up to a Grand for the time. To get those regularly you needed a few things he said... first when you got your 1 song to dance to on the main stage you needed to be engaged, use the pole, show some athleticism, have a routine, show that you could move slowly, fluidly and with rhythm and then not disappoint in the cock department (hen nights want you half hard but they never splash cash, gay guys wanna see you 'tied off' and to get you half hard later). You also needed a great 'barside manner' - these guys have to approach clients, say hello, hold a conversation, hold the customer's attention and then move it from amiable to libidinous in seconds. It's a tougher skill than the pole by all accounts - and the real money makers are the guys who you think genuinely like you.

I'm thinking that the latter skill might be something that we tap into for a session or two on engagement....

Time for a wee break

So with both of us getting excited as soon as the temperature gets above minus 10 we decided that it was time for a little break - and so we're off to Cuba... home of Fidel, British honeymooners, no Americans, cigars, pieced together old cars, the phrase "that may be difficult", old crooners, hot swingers and rum.

Hurrah. Oh and Huzzah!

Tomorrow is a 5am start to get the 6.30am train to Toronto... early as hell but trying to avoid the airports while they're crazy.

Finally getting down to some work

I write the blog from me new office (hurrah) where I'm sheltering from the cold, the snow and the generally Januariness and working on a couple of proposals that I need to get out into the world.

Last night's floatation bath did me the world of good (although the salt has played havoc with my skin and I'm not sure that it was a great idea for Jude) as did the massage afterward.

Today has been a little less relaxed though I was befriended by a middle aged Russian lady who insisted on cutting up some fresh ginger and dropping it into my tea as I "looked cold on the inside" - to warm herself up she poured generous amounts of French Vodka into her black tea as she told me the story of how she got to Montreal, the dark bear of a husband she left behind in Russia and her poly-lingual daughter. It's nice to be back in a city.

Dominated by shoots

I realize that this blog is fast becoming dominated by photo shoots - but right now I'm in full photo shoot mode... it really does help me to have 2 hrs a day where I'm totally focused, concentrated, relaxed and actually in charge. Once I have the shoots done I can then get on with real work; and I tend to be more productive. I'm starting to get to know my models too, which is always a good thing. It makes me feel as though they're confident in my abilities and makes them more relaxed right from the start of the shoot.

Anyway today (tomorrow and Friday) was about more of the Playboy stuff and this time it was a lo-fi sauna look that we were going for. Very unedited versions of what it's going to look like here...

And a shot that I took during the 'set light' phase here.

Tomorrow is Indian woman doing Native American (geddit?) poses

And we follow that with a very soapy bath shot and a young woman who speaks no English...

Watching the world walk by

So I sign on the new office space today... and as I was a little early I decided to take advantage of Starbuck's and Bell's Two Hours of Free Internet with a triple shot latte (I'm not sleeping and need a kick start) on St Catherine - Montreal's main(stream) shopping drag.

The view from the window is very Montreal. Tanned people in Canada Goose jackets promenading. Tourists trying to work out the parking poles. A restaurant 'O.Noir' that serves its food in total darkness, a Lebanese lunch place and of course "XXX XXX Spectacle Erotique Studio Octopussy" which flies the Quebec, US and Canadian flag and has old school neon signs  promising "Live XXX shows"

A scan of their website shows that it's this girl who pulled the dead zone shift today - Alehandra will doubtless be filing her nails between 'exotic massage' and 'erotic dance' - the smell of bleach heavy in her nostrils as a man who never thought that the job existed mops down the cum stained floors from the night before - in a bid to give his children a chance at a better future.

A few doors down Sexe Cite offers a more wholesome 'toys and costumes' experience... but the real life is always on the floor just above eye level.

Never give a nervous model an easy out

So today I was supposed to shoot a model who's a competitive figure skater (I think, maybe an ice dancer)... his profile said that he was comfortable shooting nudes and he approached me to be a part of my Playboy shoot - and to get some more 'wet and wild' shots for his portfolio. The fact that his portfolio doesn't have any nude shots should have really alerted me to trouble ahead - but the truth is I don't really care whether people wanna get nude or not - I just wanna shoot some.

Anyway as the days went by and his messages came through clearer and clearer. Could he bring an escort? Could he wear boxer briefs? Could he move the date? I tried my best to be reassuring - yes a chaperon is fine, wear as much or little as you feel comfortable with; I'm flexible on times and dates.

Of course what I forgot in all of this was to give him my address. And by the time I did he had a legitimate 'it's a Sunday, traffic will be murder, can we reschedule?' excuse. Schoolboy error from me; fair enough on his part and another date set up. But as I'd set up light and the most lo-fi set to date it seemed a shame to waste effort (even effort as minimal as this) and so it was off with the togs, up with the lights and on with the show.

The results aren't great but they keep me on track, on schedule and (when posted on the fridge) on the diet. Oh well... onwards and upwards.

What I did today

Today I took some old lenses, an April 1970 Playboy magazine, a 5' 3" Welder from Montreal and a couple of hours and did this.

Tomorrow I'll start to work on a lot of the other images that we shot together and turn them into something that's lovely and shiny.

I do love the 'digital age' - even though there will be no record of it at all in centuries to come

In the swing

So after a small gap to tend to Judith's raw eyes after her Lasik surgery (she can see again, more on her blog I'm sure) I'm back in the swing and taking a bunch of pictures over the next three or four days.

In about a half hour I have this guy

Followed by two people tomorrow... both shooting Playboy Centerfolds for me...

Oh and I have this girl lined up for a date on Sunday too

It's gonna be busy I think

Liverpool House

Last night we had dinner at Liverpool House - the third in a row of "The Menu is on the chalkboard" restaurants owned by the same people and saddled with a stellar reputation.

The atmosphere was great, rustic, laid back, busy and buzzy. The wait staff sexy (in an Angelina Jolie, 'I cut myself' way) and knowledgeable - but like Liverpool FC the overall experience didn't live up to the promise and the whole thing faded as the campaign went on. Throw in a bill for $150 (with only one of us drinking and a shared dessert) and you have a recipe for disappointment. Rather like this post.

But then it's 7.15am, I'm prepping for Jude's eye surgery at 8.15 and the animals are growling, prowling and punting for food

More industrious than a 6 year old Chinese factory worker promised adoption upon completion of her 50,000th shoe

I've been working hard today. First and foremost I think that I've found an office space - one that I can share with others in small, creative businesses, yet still grow into.

It's cute, it feels right, the people are around the 'right' age, there are conference rooms, a meeting space and lockers and it's not hideously expensive. Plus it's in a pretty cool part of town. Just waiting on some sort of condo / co-op committee approval now.

I also started to pen an idea that I think might actually do some good in the world. I know a lot of people who specialize in trend forecasting - and they tend to be good at identifying how people are feeling and what kind of emotion they'd be searching for as a result. Then I know a lot of people who can take a product and link it to an emotion via ads, packaging, design and editorial. Where there's a gap is in the middle --- someone who can take the trends, turn them into products and brief the comms people on what the product does. That someone could be us. I hope. Vague I know - but there you go.

I also did lots of house things today - polishes, cleaners, tidying, bills, buying food, thinking recipes... it doesn't take too long and I actually find that I enjoy it. Which is very odd. Still may be short lived as I have a trip to Toronto next week that I'm hoping will result in some work and a couple of projects further afield on a low simmer.

Fingers crossed on the space...

Not quite what I expected

So yesterday, after skiing, I had a shoot with a model. He was looking for some headshots and some gritty, grainy outdoor stuff... I was looking for some fun studio stuff and a pose for my "70s Playboy Centerfolds made-over series"

Of course I was most excited about the last one - as it's the first in a series of 120 and I'm hoping to shoot a full year (12 shots) over the next two weeks.

But of course what happened was that all of the shots for his thing are gorgeous - the best pictures that I've taken to date in my opinion - while all the stuff I did for myself is, well just a little "Reader's Wives"... I guess that you live and learn... here's a very roughly edited version of the first in what will be 120 shots for your perusal... and many thanks to Sam for being as patient (and as game) as he was.

And he takes... the Bronze

With the snow coming down,   people spinning off the road, winds whipping up the 6 feet high drifts and snow banks into devil's tendrils and people generally driving as though there was a medal for pussydom we headed for Bromont and the ski slopes...  where I took a lesson, got a feel for the mountain, lifted my head, conquered the ski lift and moved smoothly and with parallel skis down the mountain - slowly but in complete control.... result? I passed my Bronze level and now have a lesson lined up for silver (speed, control and more parallel)

Of course keen to show off my new found skills to Judith I promptly slipped, skidded, fell, floundered and generally flailed at the very sight of her... but then she has that effect on some men. Waiting for a model to show up now... hope it's gonna happen

Getting a life - on hold due to holiday

So I wanted to start the New Year in a co-working office space, the kinda place where people in funky glasses hang out and sip whatever is cooler than lattes while playing with the i-phone apps that they wrote themselves. But alas Montreal is closed today. Having New Year fall on a Friday was just the excuse we needed to close shop for three days - and every excuse to pack up and go home is snatched with a glee usually reserved for C-list celebrities invited to a Red Carpet event.

You can't even get a Lesbian haircut. Which must surely be a sign of the apocalypse - or something.

Anyway here's the to-do list currently hostage to Montreal's "oh no you don't" start to 2010

1. Pills to stop the over excited dog's diarrohea
2. Find an office space with people I want to spend time with
3. Sign up one interested, circling, client for January - and another for February
4. Get the new company website designed, up and running
5. Finally become a regular at the camera club
6. Get my 'success refund' from the French Language Class people - use to to sign up for more French
7. Book a ticket to Toronto, hold meetings there
8. Get back to the ski slopes
9. Lose the last 4 lbs
10. Shoot all 10 models interested in doing Playboy Centerfold project with me

They're not in order of importance... but getting #1 done would be good.
Time to start making phone calls I think

Steve

The things you hear at weddings

I was at a friend's wedding last week when during dinner Mini Marilyn Manson called to say that he was snowed in (there was about 2 inches of snow, but I guess you have to work to scale) and that he'd not be able to perform at the wedding after all. The groom was actually crushed but made my evening when he shrugged and said "I guess it's always the little things that let you down"

2010 is upon us

.. and this one I've labeled the 'borrowed time' decade.

For too many people 2009 stood as a testament to a decade that sucked - and my 2009 was no different yet here I sit naked at a dining room table covered in wax from the candles that lit last night's dinner with friends... alive, healthy and ready to be happy.

I won't dwell on the down stuff here (it's so last decade) instead I'll set the tone for a new decade with a promise... twice as much fun, half as much fear.

This is to be a two footed decade, a decade of leaping and then looking for a landing spot, of laughing at myself and then at the world (and not the other way around - as so much of the last decade was). I'm ready, it seems, to have some fun and mature enough to appreciate it.

The last week has been my run up to this. I've done so much that in the past would have filled me with the kind of circling dread that was paralyzing. I'm an ice skater, a skier, a strange kind of wedding photographer, about to be a shooter of alternative centerfolds... I may not be great at any of them. But I'm out, I'm trying it and I'm enjoying abandon. Hey, I've even signed up for Lasik

So there's the Resolution. I'm already living it - and I'm already happier. I hope that you stick around... I think that this is going to be fun

2010 - and we're back

Just like the lady herself

Retiring the blog

Looking at the length between posts and the lack of interesting stuff in each post has made me realize that this is a blog well past its sell by date and so I'm retiring it - for now at least. I realize of course that blogs are like Cher - and so any retirement may be temporary and it may come back looking and sounding like nothing you've seen from it before. But not for a while I hope.

It's been a weird couple of years. We've had death, cancer, job losses, forced moves, loss of babies and a whole bunch of other issues that didn't make it as far as the blog to contend with. Actually it hasn't been weird, it's been a period of concentrated misery compounded by disaster upon uncertainty.

The fact that I'm here at all is a minor miracle. The fact that I'm functioning is down to the friends, the family, the people who posted comments and even those who just came looking for a snatch or two of a celeb or two and added to the numbers. I'd like to thank you all for everything along the way.

If the last three years have been about not falling into the increasing chasms of despair opened by circumstance I'm hoping that the next couple can be about the future. About brave and bright new opportunities and experiences that give stalled lives fresh momentum.

And I wish that not just for myself, but for all of you. May your lives be filled with passion, with joy, with adventure and with a kinetic energy that takes you from experience to experience with energy and open hearts.

And that as they say, is that

Thanks all

Steve

Automne à Montréal

c'est ici Octobre
les feuilles changent de couleur
la température est en baisse
tout le monde porte un manteau
et mon français est maintenant à sa limite

Yes Autumn is upon us, the leaves are changing colors, the temperatures are falling, people have moved from t-shirts to jackets to coats in the space of a week and I'm back in French class and trying very hard to get an ear for this stuff again.

Lots to be done at the moment - not least setting up some proper book-keeping. I haven't had a paycheck since February and I won't be writing one until I manage to set up some decent spreadsheets that I can share with the accountant and work out some form of salary for myself.

But today is pretty much taken up with French homework, a deck that I'm writing as a proposal for a piece of new business and with an attempt to bring a little beauty back into my life by doing some interesting work with some interesting models. We shall see how that goes.

Generally though things are good. I'm back in the gym. We've found a parking space in the garage next door, the last of the festivals is in town, there's a photo show all over town that I really want to see, we haven't had to turn the heating on yet (though it's coming) and we're starting to look at some houses in the area; which reminds me...I must call the mortgage guy.

So all pretty much mundane stuff but after the last month or two it's nice to sit back, relax and enjoy life a little. How French of me.

A shortage

Quebec it seems has a shortage of family doctors. It costs more to practice as a doctor here, the tax rates are higher and the government pays less than they do in neighboring states. As a result about 1 in 4 people here can't find a family doctor. Instead they choose a clinic, make an appointment and see whoever is available.

That works for most people. But when you have a US oncologist insisting that he'll only release records to a specific doctor rather than to a clinic full of them it gets hard. 20 phone calls this morning to people claiming to be taking no patients gave up nothing.

So I called US oncologist. Who called Quebec oncologist. Who called his receptionist. Who in turn scoured the hospital. Which turned up a newly qualified doctor happy to take me on if I'm happy to pay for blood-work. Deal!

The system here works, it's free, the quality of care is good, but breaking into the system is hard. Oh to be in Alberta - said he jokingly.

I'm telling you it's human nature

I tend to only really like Spencer Tunick's work when it's very architectural. The rest of the time I'm impressed by the scale but left rather cold at the execution - and I always think that his portraits are technically weak.

But there's something about this image that I really like. First there's the fact that he got THIS many people to show up. And then to get naked. And then to rest their heads on the naked body of another stranger. And he managed to convince them not to mug for the camera. Or to wave. Or to try to stand out. And what you're left with is mass intimacy. And I really rather like that.

Am thinking retirement at the moment - and whether it's better to put the money in art than to put it into some faceless bond. I like the idea of speculating in beauty - and in having the investment on display every day. I also like the idea of owning some pretty special photos.

Let's see what the year brings...

Home at last

So I'm finally back in Montreal and have very few plans to be away in the next few weeks - other than a day in Michigan at a conference.

Jude's Albany conference seemed to go well, the 3.5 hr ride down there started to hint at the first sign of fall with some vivid colors and suddenly 30s temperatures and we managed to catch up with some old friends. Which is always nice.

Both feeling like crap now - me finally allowing myself to come down off a pitch schedule that was brutal and lubricated only with late nights and alcohol (pitches get me thinking and thinking keeps me up at night)

Now it's back home. Back to a schedule. And back to the gym. And I really can't get started fast enough.

Back in Montreal (for a day)

So after a few days in New York and a pitch to a big client in Atlanta I'm finally back in Montreal - for the day. Tomorrow I'm heading down to a conference in Albany where Jude is talking about a paper.

New York was a lot of work, a lot of long nights in the hotel alone and two lovely nights with my friends Gareth and Amy who not only took me to comedy but also to a comedy, burlesque, mexican wrestling night that saw a woman who looked like Prince stripping, a woman getting naked inside a balloon, slutty sisters on the trapeze and best of all a TS and a midget (both glow in the dark, the midget dressed as a chicken) jumping 30 ft from a balcony onto and into the crowd. Luche Va Voom - I salute you.

Made the whole trip worth it.

Thank you guys.

Blog will now be kept up to date with German regularity.

Last day in NYC

It's my last day in NYC. Just signed into the agency here for the last time. Will head for Atlanta tomorrow. Then home on Tuesday. No more trips like this one I think. It's good to be out and in people's faces and looking for new business - but the idea was to work from home, not spend my life on the road trying to convince people to let me work from home. Still we're in a good place right now. And it's getting better and better.

Proper blog to come... with jokes and things

Still on the road

So here I am, still in hotels, still unable to sleep and still on the road. Thank god for laptops and wireless access is what I have to say.

I've managed to catch up with youtube, to follow up with friends on facebook, to tighten up some parts of my book and of course managed to find a clean up service that will remove the unconscious bodies of tazed hookers at a very reasonable rate.

The staff here know me now and I'm starting to feel like a regular. It's worth nothing of course but that's not the point -- there's a whole other value attached to a nod and a smile when you're away from home.

Madness... madness

two colors of pen

I've started writing all of my work stuff by hand recently

And using a black and a red sharpie.

I don't know why.

But I have found that art directing my thoughts makes me focus my thoughts
In a way that bullet points used to.

Weird that, huh?

Fabulously Phat

You see what I did there?

In New York for a couple of days and last night managed to join up with Gareth and Amy (of Amy and Gareth do mad things fame) at their fab new pad in a fab area surrounded by fab things and quirky, over-confident NY kids.

Drinking, curries, more drinking, comedy, a stagger home, another drink, a Tylenol and 9 hrs sleep later and I'm up and running and feeling just dandy thank you very much Margaret.

Hotel crawling with fashion week flunkies
Williamsburg ditto

YSL gave me a nice mag in a white bag / sleeve though - so they're forgiven.

Can't wait to get home... couple of flights and cities between now and then but counting the sleeps as they say in Oz

Rough Day

I gathered that today was a rough one when I found myself curled in a ball in the corner of an airport crying uncontrollably (never a good look, dangerous when flying into New York on 9/11)

The reason was very simple, I think. The people that we rent from have the house on the market. We knew that when we moved in, and we were cool with it. Our last place had been on the market too. They just started showing the place and now there's an offer on it. I'm not around to work out a mortgage in time to counter the offer and so we're going to have to move (again) in June.

This shouldn't be an issue. We move a lot. What's the big deal? Right?

Well the big deal is that we chose this place with all kinds of future plans in mind. We saw it the day after Judith found out that she was pregnant. The pictures had a nursery and a crib in them. And I'd imagined this being the place to which we brought home that first child. This wasn't another house - it was going to be a real home for us, for the family that we were going to have.

Of course, as those of you who read this blog know, our happiness seems rationed and so the baby - like health and employment so soon before it, but with more tragic impact was lost. Leaving us with a house that we loved and dreamed of filling. And now (it seemed at 1pm today) was taken too. This wasn't a house that we were losing, it was the last physical connection to the baby we lost and the dreams we had for it.

And I am SO done with uncertainty. Cancer haunts ever quarter. Employment is at the whim of people who have proved mercurial, and three times a day people walk into my home and discuss in front of me what they're planning to do with the room that I'd planned would sleep my baby.

The truth, the real truth, is that I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. Just one pillar that I could cling to in the tsunami of bad karma that has been the last 5 years would be great. But I can't find one. And I am drowning. And just as Stevie Smith said people seem to think that I'm waving.

Normal service will be resumed tomorrow -- when I will go back to a windowless office and spread my brand of optimism and good cheer amongst people sulking at losing a weekend. But today, I think, I'm allowed to be down.

The things you miss

So while I was in Brazil I managed to miss the Fetish weekend here... which was a shame as they have a fetish exhibitionist walk that would be fabulous to photograph.

Similarly I'll be away from the Burlesque Festival - which I really wanted to be involved in but somehow conspired to be away for.

So I'm missing everything but coming back to Montreal each time is feeling more and more like coming home - especially as the skies are both brilliant blue and always visible. The temps are down a little (23c as I write this) but the sunshine more than makes up for it.

I like it here. It's a shame that the house is for sale - 3 people a day tramping through is enough to disturb even my sense of equilibrium... but we're looking at buying options (it may just be too early for us) and at the idea of moving again with less dread than in the past.

I'm happy today - working hard on a cool project and from a distance; in a city I really like. Life is good. Now where's the kick coming from?

Last day in Brazil

It's my last day in Brazil today - though they have asked me to stay. By they I mean the people who I"m helping out here, not the Brazilian government. It's been damp, gray and fattening. Too much food, too little time outside and as a result I'm feeling fat and a though I swallowed a million razor blades.

Other than that things are good. Annoyed at not being able to really use my phone due to $3 a minute roaming charges... but in spirits as good as weight gain will allow.

Be good to be home... even for 3 days

And it's Brazil

So here I am in Brazil... on too little sleep and with 'dinner and samba' being the thing that is going to make it a late one tonight. The weather is grey and cold(ish) and we're working the weekend - but it's nice to be in an office that has great natural light, on a schedule that blurs the days and amongst people who have ideas for a living.

Reading "Risk" and again loving sociology - if only it wasn't so Educatating Rita - all middle aged women trying to figure out where their lives and marriages took such a wrong turn. I could be interested.

Right - power nap time! Then it's hip swinging starters and heel ball toe entrees

Mission Part Complete

So I had my New York meeting and was rabidly but genuinely enthusiastic... meeting went reasonably well and I really liked the people. Usually that means nothing as average tenure in a job in NA is 4 years - but these people like to stay a while in their positions and that would be good as I'd love to work with them.

9 hr flight down to Brazil comes next... will be there until the 7th - and then fly back home to Montreal for a couple of days before coming back down to the mothership for one final push... should be good (we hope)

All of that said it's been an uneventful couple of days, I've remembered why I do and don't like agencies and I'm looking forward to working with creative types over the next couple of days.

Sing hallelujah

The Royalton

I'm at the Royalton in new york, preparing for a meeting on Weds and then a flight to Brazil on Thursday that will eat up a holiday weekend and swallow up a birthday as I head for home on Monday.

The hotel here is all slick chocolate browns and glass sinks, flat surfaces and fake wood - it's kinda nice but you wonder whether they'll get the money they spent on the design back before fashion changes and they're forced to spend to change it - and whether they ran those numbers. Still it has a gym (desperately needed after the last three weeks of airports) and a bed that's free of bugs and not overly soft - so I won't complain to anyone about this choice.

Be good to get past this trip and be home again. Life on the road is expensive and it's lonely; my credit card bill being the only thing that I seem to check in with while traveling. Oh well, here's to Sept 23rd and being back without a trip on the horizon (said the man about to leave one great city for Brazil... surely a better trip than Toronto)

I am now officially the worst blogger ever

So after all of the drama at the airport I got home to see my wife and a very dear and equally old friend and settled into a routine of frenzied hard work. I'm busy. Partly because I'm helping out on a global pitch and partly because, as global pitches too often are, this is one that has a million loose ends all urging you to tug a little and see what happens.

Throw in a couple of flights this week - first to New York and then down to Sao Paulo, Brazil and the hotel shown above and you suddenly start to see just why I've not been around. It's crazy. Stupidly crazy. And of course I'm letting myself suffer. The gym routine is down to nothing, the wine intake up 100%, I have a metallic taste in my mouth that makes the thought of food too bloody much and I'm sleeping like a baby (waking every two hours and screaming)

But it's almost done. I shall be home soon,

Steve will...

... attempt to leave NYC tomorrow

Cross all that you have

Not so fast

Two days after my last post I'm still in New York City. Blame the weather, blame mad chinamen, blame whatever.. it's a mess.

So here's the story. I leave the office and head to LGA, stand in line, wait 20 mins for someone to validate my passport at the self serve booth (if you need validation from a member of staff it's not self serve in my opinion but I digress) and am given this message.

"You are attempting to check in too early, boarding passes can be printed no more than 24 hrs in advance"

A lot of wrangling and I see that my flight has been canceled. And that I'm on standby for a flight 26 hours hence. Which is pants as I have to leave Monday at 4am to get back to New York. The office swings into action and finds a 9.40 flight out of EWR. I get in a taxi and start to head there... only to find on my Blackberry that this flight too is canceled. I call Continental (the airline) and they confirm, but say that my ticket was held but not bought and that if I want to fly at all this weekend I have to throw $1000 at them right now. I crumble. I buy the ticket. Cancel Delta and get some of the money back and then head back into town to find a hotel (remember no hotels if it's a weather related delay)

So today I leave early, Get to the airport and find my flight delayed due to a late arriving incoming plane. 3 hrs later I'm onboard and happy to be heading home. We pull away from the gate and grind to a halt. Bad weather. But we're being re-routed and will be away soon. Then that route is canceled. We still the engines and wait an hour - happy to be 3rd in line.

The clouds start to part and the screaming starts. A Chinese man wants off the plane. he's had enough. He doesn't want to fly. He wants to go back to the gate. We turn around and head back. To take off against his will is legally kidnap. Cool. As we head back planes start moving. There's a gap in the storm and they all take off. We don't. We get to the gate and the Chinese man refuses to get off. Planes are moving. He wants to leave. They throw him off. His three sheepish looking kids are ushered to the door. He forbids them to leave. "Booooo" say the plane. "BOOOOOOOOO" says the sweet but deaf man next to me. A stand off, they they too are off. We refuel. We head back to the runway. We stop. The storm is back. We're no. 17 for take-off. We wait. For about 4 hrs. People cry. People faint. The deaf man next to me shout / whispers "YOU CAN SEE THAT ONE'S NIPPLES AND HER ASS... SHE MUST BE A STRIPPER... NOT ONE FOR MOTHER ANYWAY"

"We'll make it" say the cabin crew

"We won't" says the pilot and we head back to the gate. Deflated.

"I TELL YOU SHE'S A DANCER" yells my seat-mate. Fun.

Weather again means no hotels but I stand in line with the deflated few and wait to change my ticket. It takes hours. The guy behind the counter seems distracted by the stripper / dancer. He offers me 5pm tomorrow. I don't want to fly at 5pm tomorrow as I have to be back Monday at 6am. So I decide to change for mid-week, suck it up and head into town.

Walk into my fave hotel and tell the tale. Tearfully. They take pity and upgrade me to a suite. It's nice. And cheaper than where I've been.

I try to call home but Jude is out doing the things that I'd planned for us to be doing together. I have a friend in town and I'm not seeing him at all. Still mid-week.

I decide to check the flight times and see that it's booked in the past. For July not August. Old Nipple Tassels certainly has an effect on men. I call and change the ticket. For no charge. That's nice. Check the weather for mid-week, it looks good. Then I cry, a lot.

After that I call some friends, arrange some dates, sort through expenses (a lot of small bits of paper) and generally feel better. Work some too and manage to improve a brief and get into a position to start work tomorrow. More drained than a bride-groom to be at one of 'SHE'S A DANCER, WINK, WINK's - and now for some TV and bed.

Farewell NYC

My last morning in NYC and I have a 7am call. That means having to stay until the next flight out - which is at 5.40pm. Long delay for a short call but hey, it's with Singapore and that's a 12 hr time difference so c'est la vie.

Have a wife and some friends waiting for me at home, along with a kick-box, yoga retreat - which could be fun (or disastrous, I'm hoping the former) then a couple more weeks of flying around the globe before finally getting back to Quebec and real life.

Still it's all good and it's all money in the bank...

A blog from a plane

As I got onto my Delta flight today they gave me a 'free wi-fi' coupon

And guess what? It works

Another refuge gone, huh?

Delayed, on a plane, with a moron

And so the noise continues. And not just any noise. Not the gentle hum of the air against the aluminum tin into which we are crammed, or the drone of engines fighting for thrust. No; this noise is more penetrating, a bullet hole, an exposed nerve in sub zero temperatures. This is a cacophony of noise in the first person. A litany of “I” and “me” and “then I” and “it’s amazing that I”s that is as relentless as it is boastful. The pauses for breath are few but precious, counted in nanoseconds, a silence which his unfortunate row-mate feels compelled to fill with the “Wow’s” that are taken as ‘please continue, only with more volume, more self interest, less sense of other people being around and punchlines to each story that are identifiable as such only by your laughter and the shake of your swollen head.”

And in the moments that you’re not imagining pushing a spike through the soft part of his brain responsible for speech you’re wondering what life must be like for those around him, Because this man sees himself as a motivator, as a coach, as a shining example of how self belief can overcome any obstacle. To his kids he will be first a hero, then a bully, then a figure to be kept at a distance, before eventually becoming a story as short as it is tragic. “My dad? Yeah, he was an asshole.”

You see them, these guys. On touchlines everywhere. In shorts. Urging the kids on. And of course these days you see them on TV too. Most famously Survivor’s biggest planet of one ‘Coach’… men too caught up in the rhythm of their speech and the energy of their telling to notice the slight recoil or the open disbelief of their ‘audience’


Some make a fortune as ‘motivational speakers’ – telling those cursed with meekness and manners that the way to ‘get on in life’ is to blast right through it, picking up ‘pearls of wisdom’ as you go. But there’s never any real wisdom there. Because these guys are all about the reaction to a sound-bite. They live for a ‘that was deep’ reaction, not for moments that are deep. Skimming along on a a thin surface of polite strangers and people caught too deep in their web to disappear to a quieter space.

And much as you may want to hurt them. To point out their folly, to highlight the reactions of the people around them, you don’t. Because there’s no room in the conversation. And no hope of getting through. These are guys who don’t know things they believe them and their belief is unshakable. They’re the assholes that love the military but wouldn’t join it, that love their wives but wouldn’t say no to the hooker in the bar, who’ll give you a piece of their mind – even though they don’t seem to have much to spare.

And they’re always, always, seated behind me.