Lexus men Chase women

kphwoar
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

More tennis, more tests, more miraculous recoveries for Agassi and weird, prickly, symptoms for me.

I do have to say though that the 72 and a half gallons of spiked barium like contrast solution that you’re forced to drink before a CT scans went down shockingly easily yesterday. I wonder whether it’s addictive? I could see myself as a contrast solution junky, forever coming up with more and more desperate ways to get my hands on the liquid.

CT scan went well. We followed it with a river borne tour of the island which was rather ruined by a guide who was both imperious and narcissistic. Worse though he tended to run his words together so that all we heard was

“andonthatveryspotamanamanyouknowamanwithlegsamanwitharmsdidshoothismotherdead…you will neverseethelikesofthis town again”.

Weirdly he felt New York inappropriate, I’d have loved him had it been a Chicago gangster tour. Still I was more than a little glad to see him getting NO tips as we left the boat. “Oh-the-places-we-find-pleasure.”

Two sponsors of the US Open Lexus for the guys and JP morgan Chase for the women. Easy way to remember - “Lexus Men Chase Women”. Of course they don’t, because they’re a million years old but it’s a handy reminder.

Sadly the new Lexus ad’ only serves to strengthen the fogey image of the Lexus driver. It’s a nice idea – what happens to tennis balls after they’ve taken part in the open? We see them used as door stops, as pet toys etc. and then we see the ultimate (“Most exciting”) use which is to be suspended by wire from the ceiling of a Lexus owner’s garage at a height that it will touch the rear window as the owner backs in. Saving said geriatric from ramming the back wall. A nice idea but one that has me asking “Are Lexus drivers really too old to turn their heads? Too crap to use their mirrors? Is the car blighted by blind spots and poor outward vision? And why doesn’t a $50,000 car have rear parking sensors; you get them on a $15,000 Mini”

Jude’s mom leaves today – weather permitting (it’s WINDY) here today. It’s been good to have her – though I do wish we had a second bedroom (or a second bed) for people visiting. But as bon host it’s my duty to buy the pastries and make the coffee. So I’ll bid you adieu here.

Life in the cheap seats

Feeling very odd today. The slightest touch of either my stomach or my back gives me a pins and needles meets sunburn feeling that really is most off-putting. Even the light brush of my shirt against my body is enough to set me on edge. And I have to say that I don’t like it.

Wondering whether this new symptom is related to the fact that I have a CT scan tomorrow – the mind playing tricks that the body falls for. Whether it’s a random thing, a drug response or the first symptom of the onset of something ravishing, rapid and deadly.

My weight is up and down like Liberace’s spring loaded cock (a sign of water retention) and my temper is shorter than a Spaniard’s ‘to do’ list.

Should be seeing my doctor on September 7th (my birthday) but there’s real pressure from work to be in London 6th. 7th and 8th. I’d refuse to go – citing my health coming first but that might jeopardize my job and with it my health insurance; jeopardizing my health to an even greater degree.

My Clash Problem (should I stay or should I go) continues. Where I am offers security but no money and a lack of respect that Rodney Dangerfield would have found astounding. The two other possibilities? One has the healthcare I need but visas I don’t want, the other a Visa I want but healthcare my doctor won’t take. Catch 22. Squared. Bugger. Having one foot in the grave really does limit one’s options.

Anyway Agassi on in just over an hour and not a pan on the stove or a bottle uncorked. I’m offski.

More f**king rubbish

Went to the tennis yesterday and was amazed at how many of the players seemed, from the right angle, to be missing a finger. Must be a 'cock your little finger just so' school of thought in the Russian filled tennis academies of Florida.

Day started wet, ended warm and saw a Billie Jean King tribute (Diana Ross - or a facsimilie of her made out of discarded hair and shiny plastic) 'sang', McEnroe mugged, Connors looked uncomfortable and Chris Every tried to look feminine but not anti-lesbian. Marvellous entertainment.

Wish we'd had night tickets for Agassi, but we did see the splendidly monikered 'Mardi Fish' - a right old sourpuss too.

Work chugs on. We closed the office today (we're moving down two flights) and will be out until Tuesday - hurrah and huzzah!

Escape plans continue to be formulated and dashed with 40s war movie regularity.

And my favorite watch - a Breil Ducati thing - all black rubber and red trim was stolen from my wrist. Or fell off. But that's hard to swallow - it was a year old, in perfect condition and a one piece strap. So I'm going with nicked. Had it on in the Starbuck's queue, didn't when I got off the subway home. Most upset.

anyway a bunch of theatre types coming over to watch a subtitled black and white belgian video installation piece about destruction and beauty. have to make myself scarse.

Cat on a dishwasher

18light
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

Yup, I've joined in the 'punning on the title but not seeing the movie' sensation that's built up around the 'is it out yet?' Snakes On A Plane

It's Sunday
It's raining
It's cold (22C)

We've all been indoors for a couple of days
And Jude's about to leave for school

Still lots of snubs at the Emmys tonight and US Open tickets for tomorrow

So maybe we'll have something to say then

Happy viewing

Yesterday a very nice man came from Time Warner to fix up a HD cable box to our lovely Sharp Aquos TV. He was on time, polite, competent and patient. The new TV is now producing pictures better than we've ecer had and we're paying less for more channels, many of which are in stunning (and stunningly wide) HD.

I bought the TV while Jude was away - it's multisystem; so it will go wherever we do and work with whatever bits of kit we buy and it's rather nice. Jude was disappointed with the size at first (she's wanted 6 more inches?!?!?) but I'd done my geometry and knew that 26" was the perfect size for the 'living room' we've carved out of our loft space.

Not much else happening. The rain is falling and the temperatures dropping (last night dropped to 18C - brrr), my scans are due next Friday, my cough has abated, my underwear is ass-blood free and all is well with the world. Time I think for archery class.

Burnt (burned?) Out and Angry

Over the past couple of days I've been, accurately, described as 'burnt out' and 'angry'... I've also been offered a new job and seem to have tickled more than the fancy of another prospective employer. Strange how I can come across as a hollow shell of a man to some and a vessel full of light to others. The truth of course is that some situations depress me (travel to eye wateringly expensive cities against the orders of my doctors, being seen as billable rather than useful, futile work that proves effort but provides no momentum) and others invigorate and energize me (conversations with smart people, a shared sense of purpose, systems that trim fat rather than pork up timelines and fees).

The truth is that I don't know whether I'm coming or going. An offer of employment that gets lost in the mail is either a sign that the US Postal service isn't all it should be or a cosmic sign that all is not right with the offer. I'm turning into Jackie Stallone, Dionne Warwick and Nancy Reagan - offering up lamb's livers for divine readings. Very odd.

Of course I'll be offering up my own liver for oncological reading soon - my 3 month scans are due Sept 1st. How time flies. I could be 1/8th through my expected life span or three months into a total and long lived recovery. I'll be happy when my ass stops bleeding (a painful tale, believe me)

Again an unpleasant place at which to stop and another abstract moan into the void of cyberspace (is it still called cyberspace or do I have to talk blogosphere these days?) - more tomorrow.

I like lodges

There's a restaurant near my house called Lodge. It has acrylic antlers and waif thin waitresses with under arm tattoo-ing. Nextdoor is the Lodge general store - which bakes its own bread and sells things that are bad for you with labels that make them seem good for you (ORGANIC chocolate spread) and then there's Lodge212 - good people who do good work and seem to have fun doing it. I like them best of all. And so I've decided that Lodges are the future (oh dear I'm coming over all Faith Popcorn) - that the laid back, wood panelled, hint of manly musk in the air life is for me. Now where is that 'lumberjack' shirt?

Golf Clubs

bandaid
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

I've been accused of owning golf clubs... I don't; but my wife does. I did of course try to learn to play golf, taking lessons in Australia - but that was more in the hope of seeing an in-town Will Smith than actually mastering the tricky game.

I did however watch a golf movie last night - The Greatest Game Ever Played; which was just predictable enough for my (not English as a first language speaking) mother in law to follow post two glasses of white wine and just entertaining enough to stop me from throwing another shoe at the TV.

Started a proper diet today - the weight has been creeping on for weeks now; so it's time to really grab the cliche by the wotnots and start on a regime so punishing it would make a dominatrix weep. I do enjoy punishing regimes - there's something about denial that brings out the best in me - said he sounding very Karen Carpenter.

Work continues to be an 18hr a day marathon with no distance markers. But I have days off Friday, Monday and then Thurs, Fri, Monday so it'll be short weeks.

No more beer pitch to worry about either. So all I need now is a quick global strategy on a tricky brand, a dual language blog with 6 country participation, a panel of 100 experts willing to talk at short notice, an academic symposium and for Harvard to agree my long term research proposal. By Thursday. Easy.

Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh!

All very strange

18feet
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

Took this just the other day. Seems that somebody didn't want half a mannequin anymore - and threw it away courdroy trousers, socks and all.

In what's become very familar these days I'm waiting on the DirectTv repairman to come on over. It's the 3rd scheduled visit. The first guy buggered everything and promptly left.

The second didn't even show up.

And this guy I'm told will both show up AND fix everything.

Like Thomas and Starr Jones I have my doubts. Still I switch to Time Warner HD on August 25th - so I'm a happy bunny.

Jude's mom also arrives today. Yesterday was spent clearing out closet space for her. We finally admitted that we had too much shit for one open plan space and hired a large cage downstair to handle the overflow (books, a TV, golf clubs, extra hi-fi equipment). I can finally say that we are American - having succumbed to 'excess' in the worst way.

Our justification is very American too. We may, one day, have more money. This would mean a bigger house. A bigger house would have room for more stuff. Therefore throwing away out current stuff would be in opposition to our American Dream - an admission that it IS only a dream.

Not much else happening. I went into Babeland the other day and was greated with stares so icy my external organs all withered away, frost bitten. How was I to know that the 'voluptuous' counter assistant was demonstrating the joys of the double ended dolphin to the giggling Japanese lesbians? Jeez next time I'll make an appointment.

And on that slightly vague yet strangely graphic note I shall leave you.

OMG

18velcrosaville
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

The dog is turning into Jimmy Saville

Early Start

Testify
Originally uploaded by Linus Gelber.

6.55am and I'm waiting on my first conference call of the day. It's a five hour jobby with London and I'm not entirely sure that either my phone battery or my will to live will hold out until the projected midday finish.

Met somebody for lunch yesterday at 'English Is Italian' - an Italian restaurant headed up by semi-celebrity chef Todd English. I chose the place but it REALLY wasn't me at all. All big and fake plush and unneccessarily hushed. Good ice cream though - summer corn, chocolate and raspberry.

Prior to that had dinner at a japanese place that was VERY Kill Bill. Weird to eat on your own money in the same way that you would on an anonymous expense account (though I do tend toward the frugal when I know that somebody who doesn't get to go out for dinner is going to have to approve my costs) - we just blew through the menu, ordered more, then more still and threw in an extra helping of ridiculous for good measure. Fun though to be with people who know my company and the people I work with - yet who aren't part of the machine.

Anyway already taken two calls whilst writing this. Off to talk about the potential power of food.

Say hello, goodbye

abibrainstorm
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

Abi helped out on a brainstorm for Knorr (one of my brands) before leaving for a new life and a new client in Amsterdam.

I've done a lot of 'hello, goodbyes' over the last few years and I really wish that I'd photographed everyone 'in situ' - I tend to categorize people by where we most often / first / most memorably hung out together.

There are trees in New York that remind me of certain people, beaches in Sydney, streets in Singapore, sofas in India and all manner of weird inanimate objects all over the UK.

Perhaps I'm strange - or perhaps I'm on the verge of a 'breakthrough memory system' a la Paul Daniels in the mid-80s.

Who knows.

Still knackered, my mood still weirdly dark and still angry at DirectTV (the guy who was supposed to come today just didn't bother. Instead he filled out a bogus work docket from his car and buggered off home without even ringing the doorbell)

We have a new compamy providing all of our televisual needs as of the 25th of August.

Enough blather however. Work woes I will pile on tomorrow; but first a quick catch up with Project Runway.

Auf Wiedersehen

Angry!!!!

Coup de tête
Originally uploaded by Seb*.

So the Satellite repair man arrived 4 hrs late and 8 stones overweight.

He huffed, puffed, sweated and groaned his way up to the fifth floor then said "there's nothing I can do."without even looking at the issue. (he realized, I think, that the dish was on the roof but the switch box was in the basement)

I begged him to take a look and he roughly pulled at some wires. The screen went blank. The signal died. He packed up his bag.

"When you arrived I had a TV picture", I said using fact as my weapon, "Now you're going to leave me with nothing?"

"Not my problem." he sweated "Call the office"

And he left.

I called the office. They didn't have a customer complaints dept. Or a customer service department. Or any supervisors. Or any humanity. They insisted I went through a million repetitive hoops and then they said "we'll send out another guy in a couple of days."

"Can you guarantee it won't be the same guy?" I asked

"No." they said

"Can you tell me that this one won't be a useless, fat, sweaty oaf?"

"erm, nope."

"Can you promise me that this guy will at least look behind the TV?"

"I can request that on the docket"

And so on and so forth for hours (I had to plug in my phones)

So we have a new guy coming tomorrow - and doubtless I have 'problem customer' against my name. I just want things fixed.

Haven't been as frustrated since the 'missing Viagra' incident of '04

Ooooh narky

So yesterday my mood was darker than an Arab plot to steal the world’s lightbulbs.

My credit card was used to open 30 internet porn sites – and I still don’t have access to any of them. Nor do I have a functioning card.

My Satellite connection went down, meaning that I had to choose between watching the finale of Hell’s kitchen and the semi-dénouement of Treasure Hunters. Ramsey won by a ‘camp head’ but I’m still kicking myself. The guy was supposed to be here between 8am and 10am; at 8.15 he called and said 12:00 and 3pm. If he doesn’t make it by 3pm I’ve arranged to switch to cable and they’ll be here by Friday.

My conversation regarding new jobs, fresh horizons and the like hit a familiar speed bump – work permit. It’s a long story and lawyers are ‘hopeful’ but I’ve been here before and can feel heart sinking.

My oncologist called, to arrange first scans in September. I started to cough immediately and now can feel huge lumps in my ‘Thymus.’ The thymus is sold by butchers as sweatbreads. Lovely. Will have dates soon.

Am spread too thin (‘too thin’ and me have been strangers for a while now) and sleeping too little (no wonder Thatcher went doolally) and flying too much – though I’m going to try video conference for the first time this week. I hope it works.

What else, what else? Working, along with the rest of New York on a big beer pitch. It’s the same old problem – ubiquity leading to invisibility. Nudity is only interesting in context – spend six weeks at a ‘nudist colony’ and it loses its power.

Anyway am trying to dial in on a conference call but the number keeps putting me through to a woman who offers me hot singles in my area. Very odd. Must get that sorted.

outside our house

we_graf
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

new pic on the wall outside our house.

and last night a drunken spanish woman trapped in the courtyard.

i let her out into the foyer... let the police into the foyer and allowed them all to get on with it.

rumor has it that she gave them the slip and disappeared into dead of night leaving only puddle of piddle as evidence of her stay.

time will tell.

working from home today as the ofice is mid-restructure and more depressing than ever. It really is an awful place to be at the moment and the dust flying around worries me in terms of health implications.

jude in Atlanta and seems to be enjoying interviews. Canada and Canadians high on her good and nice list at the moment, but months of protracted and possibly painful negotiation to come. She's meeting with more NY universities today. That's the flow, I'm on the rip tide.

And that's it from me.

Should I just pack this shit in?

Ooops

we_breakfast
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

With Jude away the tempatation to do unhealthy things - like eat french toast with cream for breakfast, get on flights to the UK and stay up all night watching Queer Eye re-runs became too much.

Mind I did manage to turn down drugs (very nancy reagan of me); to fall asleep rather than getting ready to go out and to walk the dog twice.

Not sleeping much at the moment - have pitches, accounts and possible changes of job on my mind and lack of sleep seems to be the manifest. That of course really is no good for me at all - I'll try to rectify that one asap.

Other than that not much of anything going on. Today will be a dedicated 'pitch thinking' day... always good to have something to say when the world turns to you expectantly.

God I'm tired though

It's a hard life

stevetea
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

Having been in London for a day or two, writing things on bits of paper with a scented marker I came home (on the last plane to allow toothpaste as carry on) and started visiting bars to talk to barmen about the beers that they sell.

This afternoon will be spent wandering from door to door, having a few drinks, asking a few questions and getting paid to do it. Well not quite - I won''t be getting paid; I'm officially working the weekend, for which there is no extra money. Damn.

Miami Vice last night happened to be the most laughable movie I've seen in quite some time. Guffaws met ever one of Coilin Farrell's tortured looks of consternation and every loving camera sweep of Jamie Foxx's butt. The 'hot chick' spoke english only phonetically and the whole thing looked grey and speckled enough to ensure that 1000s unfortunate enough to rent this on DVD will be getting up to check the disk and their connection leads.

Jude in Atlanta this week - conferencing - so I'm getting used to being home alone. She's gonna be in Sweden Sept 6th to 18th - catching up with friends and working on her thesis. Wanted shorter but I had airmiles to use up and those were the available dates.

Need to feed the dog, walk the dog, talk to some barmen and then head out to a rooftop party (the sun is shining, the sky is brilliant blue, there's NO humidity and temps are in the upper 20s)

Life has been worse

Sunday is a day to shout about

nen2
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

Sunday Lunch is a tradition in England that steadfastly refuses to die.

People who assiduously avoid the stove all week will, for some reason, dust off the pressure cookers, turn up the gas to high and come over all Nigella Lawson (better than cumming all over Nigella Lawson - there's a Brit gag to make you gag).

Across the nation vegetables are over cooked, meat is heated past the point of charring - being allowed out of the oven only when it's threatening to pass the tipping point on the way to diamond and grandparents are invited over to share in this tradition of culinary disaster.

My parent's house is no different to any other on the street when it comes to Sunday Lunch. Ed the Ted (my mom's mom) comes over and is joined by my dad's dad. My mom flies around the kitchen, fighting her way through the steam whilst my dad does all of the manly things - which seems to entail removing lumps (from gravy, from mashed potatoes, from that orange pile of veg that might once have been a carrot, was then a puree and is now a soupy sauce) and carving meat with an electric knife held together with bits of tape.

Meanwhile the oldsters scream out cross word puzzle clues to each other and talk about the price of bingo markers, tripe and rain hoods. Or thery would if they were properly old - instead they talk about soccer players, soccer player's wives, Israel, the Lebanon and the racist attitudes of people generations younger than themselves.

Only half the conversation is heard - above the noise of electric carving, steam and whistling hearing aid batteries but it's a good time. A very good time. And it makes me appreciate that it's not what you eat but how you eat that matters.

My brother has a baby

eg3
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

i can't spell her first name - Elanor? - but her middle name is Grace

I don't know her surname either - which is all very modern I'm sure.

anyway she's rather lovely, seems remarkably advanced for her age and seems to be especially well behaved in the eating, sleeping, not peeing on your Versace departments.

Redcar was good - cheap Prada, Cheap Vivienne Westwood, lots of family, too much cigarette smoke (that's england)

london was expensive but I developed a love for Mews streets. Visited three.

Jude's brother lives in a mews house that he shares with a number of flies attracted by the scent of the sweat eminating from the clothes he's seen fit to have strewn hither and thither across the limited floor space. In that London way it's cute whilst being murderously expensive.

The Mews I found in Knightsbridge was gorgeous, had a couple of good (if smoky) pubs and sold studio apts (flats!) for $2.5m. Pah!

And the final mews house was a photographer's studio with white walls, white tables and white coffee cups that set off the chocolate topped cappucinos to great effect.

Celebrities? Danny baker nearly getting hit by a cab as he moved at remarkable pace across a pedestrian crossing - and ex-boss, diamond top dog and all around good egg David Lamb (alas on his phone and moving too fast to catch)

Ate dinner at langham's - again overpriced, over familiar and mediocre but the company was good.

Flight back delayed (many were being cancelled around me) - got in at 1am; finished up sonme work, bed by 2am - awake at 5am and sent off yet more thoughts on everything. Will look impressive from across the Pond - but was really jet lag and boredonm combining to give the illusion of industry.

Heading for work - a beer pitch and another weekend I think. Jude will be away at academy and the office will let me take the dog with me so I really don't mind.

How are y'all?

remiss

bb_rough
Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

afraid that I've been rather remiss with the old blog posting of late. The excuse - no computer in the London office where, as a guest, I'm low on the priority list when it comes to things like technology.

Have been sleeping remarkably well, though woke with a start at 7am this morning after 6 hrs sleep and consequently feel someone heavy eyed.

London is.... well it's London. Fearfully expensive, horribly class sensitive and full of hidden treasures. I found a Knightsbridge Mews street last night so lovely I forgot my hatred of the city.

I do have to say that the fact that I'm flying home tomorrow is all that's keeping me going today. Role on 5.45 and Virgin pick up!

More and better later