Back (geddit?) from London - where it seemed to be 1950. Everywhere I went gay men lurked in the shadows (SoHo), the Long Grass (Hyde Park) and corner offices (work)... all very strange, but managed to put George Michael into a context where his behavior seemed more British than odd.
Not going to say a lot here as my bath runneth over but the London trip was a bit of a success. I hate being in the London office (nobody knows me, the technology doesn't work, you have to beg for a card to access the bathroom etc.) but I also had a delightful day listening to experts, cooking fish and talking brand turkey with a very international group (Brazil, France, Germany, Holland, Australia, Italy, US etc...)
Anyway now the bath really doesd floweth over
Later
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
London
so a flying vsit to London - to take part in an induction day. I'll be on a lane home tomorrow and not a moment too soon. The traffic is awful, the streets too narrow, the parks full of odd men who lurk in the long grasses, the pound too strong, the accent too thick and the people too Dick Van Dyke. Or something.
Did a walk around Hyde Park (I'm trying to stay awake) and was shocked at how yellow everything was. Especially as people are already remembering the big thunderstorms of the last couple of weeks with a fondness usually researved for the recounting of The Blitz.
Dead on my feet here, time for something sugary I think, home tomorrow!
Steve
Did a walk around Hyde Park (I'm trying to stay awake) and was shocked at how yellow everything was. Especially as people are already remembering the big thunderstorms of the last couple of weeks with a fondness usually researved for the recounting of The Blitz.
Dead on my feet here, time for something sugary I think, home tomorrow!
Steve
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Quite a day
In to the office this morning for a 7am breakfast... my role purely decorative as spaces are limited for the actual 8am meeting so I'm there to "greet and eat" and nothing more.
Tonight I have an overnight flight to London. Land Thursday, come back Friday but it's the flight that tips me over to super dooper Gold status on Virgin and earns me a free companion flight the next time I book - making our planned January trip to Africa significantly cheaper.
Anyway with all the late nights (left the office at 10pm yesterday) and early mornings (6am start this morning) I'm starting to remember what my life used to be like before my body said 'no' and threatened to close down completely.
So this is the last 'silly week' that they'll get out of me - after this I'm chilled, I'm sitting out in the sunshine with my laptop and I'm heading home early; where I shall relax without the aid of alcohol.
Tonight I have an overnight flight to London. Land Thursday, come back Friday but it's the flight that tips me over to super dooper Gold status on Virgin and earns me a free companion flight the next time I book - making our planned January trip to Africa significantly cheaper.
Anyway with all the late nights (left the office at 10pm yesterday) and early mornings (6am start this morning) I'm starting to remember what my life used to be like before my body said 'no' and threatened to close down completely.
So this is the last 'silly week' that they'll get out of me - after this I'm chilled, I'm sitting out in the sunshine with my laptop and I'm heading home early; where I shall relax without the aid of alcohol.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Hurry up and wait
Waiting for a 9am meeting to actually start (it's 11.33 right now) and for London to call me (it's 1948 there and they're still mourning the blitz) and for somebody to in the building to smile with something that approximates genuine warmth.
Meanwhile I'm looking at this guy's pictures - so many of them are great. Wish I had his talent.
Short entry - don't have the energy for anything else.
Meanwhile I'm looking at this guy's pictures - so many of them are great. Wish I had his talent.
Short entry - don't have the energy for anything else.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Where we want to live
Lots of things should be coming to a head today. I hear about a possible short term move out of New York (and out of the US), about a possible new job at another company within New York, about my options should I stay with my current company in New York... though not (yet) about Judith's job options moving forward.
As my Dad might say "It's all go"
Really though all I want is to live in the apartment from which I took this picture. It overlooks McCarren park, has an elevator for the dog, views of the city, is absolutely beautiful and is within our price range.
Or it would be if I could get a mortgage. Nobody wants to insure a mortgage against somebody who has an 80% chance of having a fatal cancer within two years. A brutal but understandable truth.
Anyway this is all tedious, personal stuff. We'll offer it up to the universe and see what karma brings us (to mix religious philosophies)
It is a very cool place though.
As my Dad might say "It's all go"
Really though all I want is to live in the apartment from which I took this picture. It overlooks McCarren park, has an elevator for the dog, views of the city, is absolutely beautiful and is within our price range.
Or it would be if I could get a mortgage. Nobody wants to insure a mortgage against somebody who has an 80% chance of having a fatal cancer within two years. A brutal but understandable truth.
Anyway this is all tedious, personal stuff. We'll offer it up to the universe and see what karma brings us (to mix religious philosophies)
It is a very cool place though.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Hypno-cat
Hypno-cat says "Do exactly as I say. Go to the cupboard. Take out cat food. Feed me."
He's a funny old thing is inky, forever licking at your arms and trying to get your attention (he's been on the desk for every post of this blog I think)
Me? Well I only did an hour or so at work - I'm more into provocation than proof when it comes to initial meetings and it was all getting just a little chart heavy. I think it's better to come clean, to say "we know nothing... yet - but here are some interesting places we'd like to look."
I'd rather leave the analysis until we have official data.
Anyway have to run, writing this while Jude is out with the dog and she'll be back soon as we're half watching Ms Universe (manish jaws very in vogue this year it seems)
More tomorrow, no doubt
He's a funny old thing is inky, forever licking at your arms and trying to get your attention (he's been on the desk for every post of this blog I think)
Me? Well I only did an hour or so at work - I'm more into provocation than proof when it comes to initial meetings and it was all getting just a little chart heavy. I think it's better to come clean, to say "we know nothing... yet - but here are some interesting places we'd like to look."
I'd rather leave the analysis until we have official data.
Anyway have to run, writing this while Jude is out with the dog and she'll be back soon as we're half watching Ms Universe (manish jaws very in vogue this year it seems)
More tomorrow, no doubt
Finding beauty in the differences
Well despite my protestations my first week back at work has been a seven day one. I've arrived early, skipped meals, filled up on crap and left late only to come home and start over on e-mail. Everything I thought that I'd not do in essence. The only good news is that I'm now acutely aware of how badly this kind of behavior can impact your health. I didn't survive cancer to kill myself at work. Of course there's a piece of me that quite likes the fact that I'm no longer wrapped in cotton wool - but that piece is small next to the look of concern on Judith's face as I drag myself home from another day at the office.The picture above is of Redcar's premiere nightclub - Leo's. Many may argue that it's not the top club in my desolate seaside 'home town' - insisting that it's part of the Redcar Triangle into which drugs pour and welfare money disappears. They may be right but Leo's has been there, crumbling on the seafront for aeons with it's mix of downmarket entertainment, lethally spiked 'snakebites' and girls dressed to spite the bitter winds blowing in off the north sea.
I may well be back in the UK within the next week or so, depending on whether a work project comes through. Just a short blast through the place but enough time I'm sure to remind me just how alien I've become to the country on my passport. I will try however to find beauty in the differences between the UK and the other places we've seen rather than seeing only signs of deterioration everywhere - from the production values of the TV shows through to age (and price) of the trains.
Actually that's not a bad mantra against which to live life - "find beauty in the differences"
Right breakfast, dog to groomers, work. Beautiful cereal, beautiful walk, beautiful... something or other
Friday, July 21, 2006
Like, who says I'm, like shallow
So with Jude dancing the silent dance of a woman who’s just seen Travis do a solo before finding a fully charged I-pod and with the animals cowering from a thunder storm that seems boundless in its ability to terrify I find myself with a couple of minutes to bang out something to the blog.
I have no idea what I’m going to write – doubtless it will be more profane than profound but then as one anonymous person here commented we ‘advertising types, like, often mistake shallow sham for profundity.”
Of course they didn’t express it quite that well – but then why waste eloquence on ‘advertising types.’? The Ad Exec. is, of course, Hollywood shorthand for the emotionally stunted, the self centered, the crass, the vulgar… the guy who needs to learn a life lesson.
He’s a professional and personal manipulator. A skilled liar. Duplicitous, deceitful and downright detestable.
And I know ad’ men very much like that. I know dentists, doctors, school crossing guards and supermarket managers like that too.
I also know ad’ people who are empathetic, insightful, human, funny, flawed and rippingly good company. I don’t know any supermarket managers like that – though I guess that there are lots of them out there.
I actually think that what made me bristle about the post was the use of the word “like”… it conveyed a valley girl empty-headedness that I’ve not seen in advertising. Oh we’re many things – arrogant, egotistical, over-paid, over-sexed, self-important, expensively scruffy and at times a little too removed from reality but I’ve yet to hear a good ad’ person that wasn’t concise and precise in their articulation of an idea.
So anonymous, like, say what you will, man; because, like, it’s like totally, you know? Dig?
Does this face look bothered?
I have no idea what I’m going to write – doubtless it will be more profane than profound but then as one anonymous person here commented we ‘advertising types, like, often mistake shallow sham for profundity.”
Of course they didn’t express it quite that well – but then why waste eloquence on ‘advertising types.’? The Ad Exec. is, of course, Hollywood shorthand for the emotionally stunted, the self centered, the crass, the vulgar… the guy who needs to learn a life lesson.
He’s a professional and personal manipulator. A skilled liar. Duplicitous, deceitful and downright detestable.
And I know ad’ men very much like that. I know dentists, doctors, school crossing guards and supermarket managers like that too.
I also know ad’ people who are empathetic, insightful, human, funny, flawed and rippingly good company. I don’t know any supermarket managers like that – though I guess that there are lots of them out there.
I actually think that what made me bristle about the post was the use of the word “like”… it conveyed a valley girl empty-headedness that I’ve not seen in advertising. Oh we’re many things – arrogant, egotistical, over-paid, over-sexed, self-important, expensively scruffy and at times a little too removed from reality but I’ve yet to hear a good ad’ person that wasn’t concise and precise in their articulation of an idea.
So anonymous, like, say what you will, man; because, like, it’s like totally, you know? Dig?
Does this face look bothered?
Nary a whiff
So the office party came and went with nary a whiff of scandal. Finance fannies remained covered - if vigorously shaken. The mailroom didn't start a rousing Viking Skol chorus of 'minge, minge, minge, minge" and not a single creative was caught red handed or genital'd.
All rather adult - perhaps because we all live such debauched lives the rest of the time that a party is a chance to relax without the pressure of 'the crazy ad folk" moniker.
And it is pressure. As the concert violinist / diplomat we had in yesterday said whilst playing the opening of a violent death piece - "pressure, panic, more pressure, death" - it's how a fugue works, it's how most business works.
I woke up this morning tired. And not because I had a curry and a beer with the Lord's Whimsy and Willy last night - but because since I've been back at the agency (5 days now) I've not started work after 8am, not finished work before 8pm, have been to 23 "meetings", a party, have been asked to change jobs, to get on planes, to fix things left undone and - of course - to work the weekend.
Well bollocks to that.
And on that decisive if petty note I shall bid you adieu and call a man I know in Brazil about the differences between retail there and here.
All rather adult - perhaps because we all live such debauched lives the rest of the time that a party is a chance to relax without the pressure of 'the crazy ad folk" moniker.
And it is pressure. As the concert violinist / diplomat we had in yesterday said whilst playing the opening of a violent death piece - "pressure, panic, more pressure, death" - it's how a fugue works, it's how most business works.
I woke up this morning tired. And not because I had a curry and a beer with the Lord's Whimsy and Willy last night - but because since I've been back at the agency (5 days now) I've not started work after 8am, not finished work before 8pm, have been to 23 "meetings", a party, have been asked to change jobs, to get on planes, to fix things left undone and - of course - to work the weekend.
Well bollocks to that.
And on that decisive if petty note I shall bid you adieu and call a man I know in Brazil about the differences between retail there and here.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Office Party Day
It's the office party today. Thankfully the temperature is dropping, so the chance of Mavis from finance turning up half clad and half cut is reduced dramatically.
I've never been one for office parties. I did one in London and saw a guy killed en route to it. Vowed never again - until Asia when the parties were on Indonesian Isles or were 3 day jaunts to fabulous cities (such as Bangkok)
For some strange reason I"ve been to quite a few of the US office parties. The have a penchant for the outdoors, for free drinks that run out soon after people arrive and for letting people from 'the basement department' 'DJ'
This year all of the people that I loved / enjoyed partying with in the NY office have disappeared... either to exciting new places and challenges or to places that offer them money by the boatload (and their chicks for free)
Still I should show up, prove that I'm alive and then jump on the bus home to the busom of my family - hopefully before the busom of Mave the Rave from finance becomes scorched indelibly on my retina.
I've never been one for office parties. I did one in London and saw a guy killed en route to it. Vowed never again - until Asia when the parties were on Indonesian Isles or were 3 day jaunts to fabulous cities (such as Bangkok)
For some strange reason I"ve been to quite a few of the US office parties. The have a penchant for the outdoors, for free drinks that run out soon after people arrive and for letting people from 'the basement department' 'DJ'
This year all of the people that I loved / enjoyed partying with in the NY office have disappeared... either to exciting new places and challenges or to places that offer them money by the boatload (and their chicks for free)
Still I should show up, prove that I'm alive and then jump on the bus home to the busom of my family - hopefully before the busom of Mave the Rave from finance becomes scorched indelibly on my retina.
Monday, July 17, 2006
How bored were we?
My first Monday at work in an aeon and by 4pm I was so desperate for something to do that I engaged with Pilar (the office mate formally known at Mari) in a spot of coffee-table making.
Amazing what you can do with a couple of cast off mannequins, a copy of the excellent but sadly not available in a store near you 'Hold My Skateboard while I kiss your girlfriend' (whilst, surely?) and too much time
Especially when you're bored. And I was bored. My data was showing that people liked to shop at stores located conveniently for them and appreciated fair pricing. More data was being purchased to prove that this was true regardless of how much money you threw at it.
I'm much more interested in the 'dog blanket' theory of shopping. That great prices are just that, great, until they start to attract people looking only to buy Cider and Dog Food - and buy them with the quarters that they've collected during the day. As my friend Kim always said - it's a fine line between thrifty and pikey.
Still I like the pic. MInd if Tuesday is as slow as today turned out to be I may be posting an installation piece made with these dummy's discarded legs.
Amazing what you can do with a couple of cast off mannequins, a copy of the excellent but sadly not available in a store near you 'Hold My Skateboard while I kiss your girlfriend' (whilst, surely?) and too much time
Especially when you're bored. And I was bored. My data was showing that people liked to shop at stores located conveniently for them and appreciated fair pricing. More data was being purchased to prove that this was true regardless of how much money you threw at it.
I'm much more interested in the 'dog blanket' theory of shopping. That great prices are just that, great, until they start to attract people looking only to buy Cider and Dog Food - and buy them with the quarters that they've collected during the day. As my friend Kim always said - it's a fine line between thrifty and pikey.
Still I like the pic. MInd if Tuesday is as slow as today turned out to be I may be posting an installation piece made with these dummy's discarded legs.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Too fat to sunbathe
Call me uncharitable if you must but I’ve just had what should have been a perfect afternoon in the park ruined by people who insisted on removing their shirts despite the bodies that they ‘sported; beneath them.
As the weather got hotter (real-feel 41c) the sea of blue-white veined, gravity obeying flesh on display grew exponentially - until the entire park was alive with the sight of rolls of fat oscillating revoltingly with each step towards next grazing opportunity. And with the sound of saggy tits hitting flabby knee as women barely in contained by oversized, mismatched, bra and panties made beeline for the ice cream van.
It was revolting. A mass of overfed, under-shamed blobs ramming more and more barbequed food into their revolting gullets. Spitting onion as they asked for the next hot-dog, eyes darting around ready to glare at any slack jawed witness to the consequences of their gluttony.
Now I’m not in great shape myself at the moment. Which is why the T-Shirt stays on and the shorts do more than merely cover my nads.
What is it motivates these people? Sure there’s always somebody with a worse body than yours, but then there’s always someone with worse manners than yours and you don’t take a dump in the fruit bowl at dinner, do you?
I felt sorry for the realtors trying to flog their high end apartments with ‘view if the park’ – a view into an abattoir would have been more appealing.
So here’s a plea. Please, fat people of the ‘burg, keep the shirts on and the shorts long. In return I promise not to start a web site called www.see_the_freaks_eat.com and swear that I’ll not post your pictures there. Deal?
As the weather got hotter (real-feel 41c) the sea of blue-white veined, gravity obeying flesh on display grew exponentially - until the entire park was alive with the sight of rolls of fat oscillating revoltingly with each step towards next grazing opportunity. And with the sound of saggy tits hitting flabby knee as women barely in contained by oversized, mismatched, bra and panties made beeline for the ice cream van.
It was revolting. A mass of overfed, under-shamed blobs ramming more and more barbequed food into their revolting gullets. Spitting onion as they asked for the next hot-dog, eyes darting around ready to glare at any slack jawed witness to the consequences of their gluttony.
Now I’m not in great shape myself at the moment. Which is why the T-Shirt stays on and the shorts do more than merely cover my nads.
What is it motivates these people? Sure there’s always somebody with a worse body than yours, but then there’s always someone with worse manners than yours and you don’t take a dump in the fruit bowl at dinner, do you?
I felt sorry for the realtors trying to flog their high end apartments with ‘view if the park’ – a view into an abattoir would have been more appealing.
So here’s a plea. Please, fat people of the ‘burg, keep the shirts on and the shorts long. In return I promise not to start a web site called www.see_the_freaks_eat.com and swear that I’ll not post your pictures there. Deal?
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Girls in Playsuits
Saw this
Loved it
Store just down the road from us
(Drewbic has lots of great local shots on flickr.com... check them out)
Loved it
Store just down the road from us
(Drewbic has lots of great local shots on flickr.com... check them out)
International Man Of Mystery
All sorts of things happening this weekend. Can't really talk about any of them (on pain of death) which makes this blog entry rather redundant, doesn't it?
Read a lovely quote from (notorious short arse) Dudley Moore yesterday. When asked how sexually compatable he was at 5' 2" with a 6' female model he replied "It's easy. I go UP on her."
Made me smile anyway.
Work options opening up like a Christian High School Girl's legs upon the realization that a pledge of chasity is an elastic thing. Feeling wanted for the first time in an absolute age. Which is a GOOD THING.
One thing that near death experience has taught me is the value of savings... you just need some emergency cash, especially when you travel a lot and aren't in any one country's pension scheme. So am following Oprah's rule and 'paying myself first' each month. But work options could mean that I'll be paying myself a whole heap more; leaving Judith a merrier widow when the experimental drugs catch up with me and my body closes down, my internal organs turning to liquid overnight.
Sorry that this, like sex with a woman with osteoporosis, is so disjointed. Next entry will reveal all, I swear.
Read a lovely quote from (notorious short arse) Dudley Moore yesterday. When asked how sexually compatable he was at 5' 2" with a 6' female model he replied "It's easy. I go UP on her."
Made me smile anyway.
Work options opening up like a Christian High School Girl's legs upon the realization that a pledge of chasity is an elastic thing. Feeling wanted for the first time in an absolute age. Which is a GOOD THING.
One thing that near death experience has taught me is the value of savings... you just need some emergency cash, especially when you travel a lot and aren't in any one country's pension scheme. So am following Oprah's rule and 'paying myself first' each month. But work options could mean that I'll be paying myself a whole heap more; leaving Judith a merrier widow when the experimental drugs catch up with me and my body closes down, my internal organs turning to liquid overnight.
Sorry that this, like sex with a woman with osteoporosis, is so disjointed. Next entry will reveal all, I swear.
Friday, July 14, 2006
A room full of swinging dicks
Back to work today… the first day of the rest of my life and already it’s all change. I’m no longer the planner on all things vodka (I’m still not sure why) instead I’ll be spending some time on razors and lots of time on some business with a shiny patina and with mountains of cash attached.
Now the thing about mountains of cash is that they attract dicks. Of the large and swinging variety. The last time I saw so many dicks being so energetically waved was at Dieter’s Blue Light Lounge down one of Bangkok’s dodgier Sois. .
We have all the COs and HOs (Chiefs Of..., Heads Of…) interested. And that means lots of big theories, large scale 'investigations' and much for me to do. .
Two approaches then. The “You’re better paid but I’m better” approach (my preferred) or the “I thought you really had something when you said (insert something they’ve never said)” approach. I’m thinking direct conflict. Not because it works any better but because it will get me heard and make me feel better.
Still you can bet your TV's extended warranty on my pulling lots of faces like the one above before the month is out.
Now the thing about mountains of cash is that they attract dicks. Of the large and swinging variety. The last time I saw so many dicks being so energetically waved was at Dieter’s Blue Light Lounge down one of Bangkok’s dodgier Sois. .
We have all the COs and HOs (Chiefs Of..., Heads Of…) interested. And that means lots of big theories, large scale 'investigations' and much for me to do. .
Two approaches then. The “You’re better paid but I’m better” approach (my preferred) or the “I thought you really had something when you said (insert something they’ve never said)” approach. I’m thinking direct conflict. Not because it works any better but because it will get me heard and make me feel better.
Still you can bet your TV's extended warranty on my pulling lots of faces like the one above before the month is out.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Big nippled prick (y-thing)
Sorry - had to be done
Well 2 comments was all it took to convince me to 'keep on blogging'... I truly am an attention whore.
My parents leave tonight; usually their visiting a place is accompanied by war, pestilence or plague. This time nothing major - just a tornado and some flash flooding, other than that their visit has been uneventful; though the dog has been walked to the point of collapse (always a good thing)
Today's mad rant? That f*ck*ng GE ad where the woman carries a large pink cake with her wherever she goes (including into a public toilet) presumable because she can't find a spot big enough to accommodate said confection. Of course when she arrives at the party still balancing the now ebola covered celebratory dessert she finds that said refridgerator has bags of room and slips the pink plague in with a self satisfied grin. A voice over then tells us that the new GE fridge has an ice dispenser in its door (oh and that it's quite big)
Well how the merry hell did this get through research. I can only think that the 6 women in Jersey focus group (a kind of advertising Supreme Court) were too pissed on free Hungarian Red to raise voice in concern and that the 106 women that they stopped in a mall for the quant' work (a kind of bogus ad' election) were so mesmerized by the thought of cake or too distracted by the view of a pair of Elastic Waisted pastel Capri pants in the window of Old Navy that they merely drooled their response.
GE fridges - they're for filthy, OCD whores who'd rather poison your party than put down an over iced, under decorated bit of sponge. That you? Buy away
Well 2 comments was all it took to convince me to 'keep on blogging'... I truly am an attention whore.
My parents leave tonight; usually their visiting a place is accompanied by war, pestilence or plague. This time nothing major - just a tornado and some flash flooding, other than that their visit has been uneventful; though the dog has been walked to the point of collapse (always a good thing)
Today's mad rant? That f*ck*ng GE ad where the woman carries a large pink cake with her wherever she goes (including into a public toilet) presumable because she can't find a spot big enough to accommodate said confection. Of course when she arrives at the party still balancing the now ebola covered celebratory dessert she finds that said refridgerator has bags of room and slips the pink plague in with a self satisfied grin. A voice over then tells us that the new GE fridge has an ice dispenser in its door (oh and that it's quite big)
Well how the merry hell did this get through research. I can only think that the 6 women in Jersey focus group (a kind of advertising Supreme Court) were too pissed on free Hungarian Red to raise voice in concern and that the 106 women that they stopped in a mall for the quant' work (a kind of bogus ad' election) were so mesmerized by the thought of cake or too distracted by the view of a pair of Elastic Waisted pastel Capri pants in the window of Old Navy that they merely drooled their response.
GE fridges - they're for filthy, OCD whores who'd rather poison your party than put down an over iced, under decorated bit of sponge. That you? Buy away
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Back from Vacation
So we’re back from Anguilla, which was small, quiet and perfect for what we needed. Lots of beaches, occasional great meals in scenic restaurants and the chance to be ‘1000 miles from care’
It doesn’t seem THAT long ago that I was coughing up pieces of lung on the poor people unfortunate enough to be sitting in a room with me on the JetBlue pitch.
Or that long ago that I was crawling to the bathroom in order to throw up what I couldn’t cough up.
Nor does it seem that long ago that that I was walking to the doctor’s office in Greenpoint to be told that I had lymphoma but would ‘probably be alright after a miserable 6 months or so.”
And the six months since then haven’t actually been all that miserable. Certainly not in comparison to the misery that you’re told to expect. But then managing expectations is the key to keeping people happy, this I’ve realized.
I’ve been thin, fat, bald, swollen, nauseous, euphoric, knackered, jelly legged, mercury ankled, optimistic, pessimistic and realistic.
But I’ve never been alone.
And I have you people to thank for that.
What next?
A bigger fight I think. A fight against the prejudice that I’m now, somehow, damaged goods. A fight against work’s new found ‘wrap him in cotton wool’ attitude. A fight against falling back into the acceptance of mediocrity that’s so comfortable a cage.
And some new challenges. The next year should see a new job for Jude. Perhaps a new city or country as a result of that new job (and hopefully a new job for me if a move does happen)
What next? Most importantly a chance to live ‘off schedule’ – without treatment dates and SCAN schedules dominating the calendar.
I’m not sure how much interest there will still be in this blog, now that it doesn’t have the draw of imminent death – add a comment if you’d like to see it continue, otherwise I’ll let it do what I, to date, have not. I’ll let it quietly die.
It doesn’t seem THAT long ago that I was coughing up pieces of lung on the poor people unfortunate enough to be sitting in a room with me on the JetBlue pitch.
Or that long ago that I was crawling to the bathroom in order to throw up what I couldn’t cough up.
Nor does it seem that long ago that that I was walking to the doctor’s office in Greenpoint to be told that I had lymphoma but would ‘probably be alright after a miserable 6 months or so.”
And the six months since then haven’t actually been all that miserable. Certainly not in comparison to the misery that you’re told to expect. But then managing expectations is the key to keeping people happy, this I’ve realized.
I’ve been thin, fat, bald, swollen, nauseous, euphoric, knackered, jelly legged, mercury ankled, optimistic, pessimistic and realistic.
But I’ve never been alone.
And I have you people to thank for that.
What next?
A bigger fight I think. A fight against the prejudice that I’m now, somehow, damaged goods. A fight against work’s new found ‘wrap him in cotton wool’ attitude. A fight against falling back into the acceptance of mediocrity that’s so comfortable a cage.
And some new challenges. The next year should see a new job for Jude. Perhaps a new city or country as a result of that new job (and hopefully a new job for me if a move does happen)
What next? Most importantly a chance to live ‘off schedule’ – without treatment dates and SCAN schedules dominating the calendar.
I’m not sure how much interest there will still be in this blog, now that it doesn’t have the draw of imminent death – add a comment if you’d like to see it continue, otherwise I’ll let it do what I, to date, have not. I’ll let it quietly die.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
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