How much food bullshit have you swallowed?
Do you still believe any of the nutritional advice out there?
Or the fad diets?
Are you still eating Atkins?
Is anyone still on the cabbage diet?
Are you eating food for its vibrational energies?
Gillian 'Poo lady' McKeith thinks that you should - whilst embracing internal photosynthesis and an alkeline regime to combat acidosis. The charge is that she bought her PhD and that now we're buying her bullshit. I don't feel qualified to comment - I'm still eating my crusts in an attempt to make my hair curl="all" />
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
the latest attempt to kill me
the latest attempt to kill me is to have me fly overnight to Frankfurt where I'll deliver a briefing - to a bunch of non-English speakers (I don't speak Spanish, Mandarin or Portugese so it could be a problem)
then jump on a flight to Miami where I'll deliver a speech about all things trendy (to people who are slightly less trendy than me, which is not at all)
before hopping on a flight to NYC where I have a 7am meeting to talk about expert opinion on what we're trying to do.
Still I rack up some miles on my Star Alliance card, get to sample the Lufthansa beds, get to spend a day in Miami and don't have to travel to London in person for the expert meeting.
So I'll be killed slowly rather than in one go.
Isn't it nice to know that you're company has your health and well-being at its centre?
then jump on a flight to Miami where I'll deliver a speech about all things trendy (to people who are slightly less trendy than me, which is not at all)
before hopping on a flight to NYC where I have a 7am meeting to talk about expert opinion on what we're trying to do.
Still I rack up some miles on my Star Alliance card, get to sample the Lufthansa beds, get to spend a day in Miami and don't have to travel to London in person for the expert meeting.
So I'll be killed slowly rather than in one go.
Isn't it nice to know that you're company has your health and well-being at its centre?
Monday, October 09, 2006
Another escapee
My erstwhile colleague Mr Eben Strousse announced his departure from the building this week. He's off to get married, start a new job and move home to California, cleaner air, real space and a little bit of happiness.
His leaving drinks on a Sunday afternoon, surounded by Walk Against Breast Cancer 'athletes' was a lovely affair and I must concede a terrible jealousy. He seems to have done exactly the right thing for exactly the right reasons.
11 months before I can contemplate the same.
And counting
His leaving drinks on a Sunday afternoon, surounded by Walk Against Breast Cancer 'athletes' was a lovely affair and I must concede a terrible jealousy. He seems to have done exactly the right thing for exactly the right reasons.
11 months before I can contemplate the same.
And counting
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Where next?
Jude is approaching the end of her PhD. and suddenly the calls are coming in thick and fast - asking her to interview all over the States and possibly all over the world. Of course this ought to raise questions like "is there anything for Steve to do in these far flung places?" and "Do you really want to live in Lubbock, TX?" but right now it doesn't. Any move is about a year away and a lot can happen in a year.
I think that I'm at a stage where I can live anywhere and still manage to get work - even if it's freelance. It may mean a cut in salary but hey if that means that I get to walk the dog along the beach and allow the cats outside again then I'm pretty happy. Money is nice but I just need enough for it not to be a problem. I'm not into the whole salary escalation thing - if that's how you define success then you're kinda narrow. I know - I was virtually two dimensional at one point.
Actually that last point isn't true. I've never moved job for more money. In fact I've always taken a pay cut when I've moved. But I've either moved because I knew I'd learn more elsewhere, because I needed a challenge, because I saw potential or - most recently - because I needed to be in a country long enough for my wife to finish up her PhD.
What I find compelling about a change of lifestyle is that we are all now showing signs of stress. Jude with a back more knotted than an amnesiac's handkerchief, Velcro with her bi-monthly stomach upsets, Ink with his highly strung UTIs and of course me with my 'up at 6am to start on the e-mail' sessions.
Whatever we decide to do I think that a more relaxed attitude to life. More time in the sunshine. More time with the sand between our toes. More time doing what we want to do and less doing what we don't.
I have an idea of working for agencies / ideas companies on 4 pitches a year. A month each pitch - a fee plus win bonus on each. Then I'd do four months writing - I want to do an advertising book. And four months in the sun during the summer. It's actually quite a do-able idea.
The dogs above btw are Bearded Collies and they're on a beach in Victoria, BC, Canada. Which would be nice.
I think that I'm at a stage where I can live anywhere and still manage to get work - even if it's freelance. It may mean a cut in salary but hey if that means that I get to walk the dog along the beach and allow the cats outside again then I'm pretty happy. Money is nice but I just need enough for it not to be a problem. I'm not into the whole salary escalation thing - if that's how you define success then you're kinda narrow. I know - I was virtually two dimensional at one point.
Actually that last point isn't true. I've never moved job for more money. In fact I've always taken a pay cut when I've moved. But I've either moved because I knew I'd learn more elsewhere, because I needed a challenge, because I saw potential or - most recently - because I needed to be in a country long enough for my wife to finish up her PhD.
What I find compelling about a change of lifestyle is that we are all now showing signs of stress. Jude with a back more knotted than an amnesiac's handkerchief, Velcro with her bi-monthly stomach upsets, Ink with his highly strung UTIs and of course me with my 'up at 6am to start on the e-mail' sessions.
Whatever we decide to do I think that a more relaxed attitude to life. More time in the sunshine. More time with the sand between our toes. More time doing what we want to do and less doing what we don't.
I have an idea of working for agencies / ideas companies on 4 pitches a year. A month each pitch - a fee plus win bonus on each. Then I'd do four months writing - I want to do an advertising book. And four months in the sun during the summer. It's actually quite a do-able idea.
The dogs above btw are Bearded Collies and they're on a beach in Victoria, BC, Canada. Which would be nice.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
So You Think You Can Dance
So. You. Think. You. Can. Dance.
Live.
I think that this might be the show that changed my life - that turned positive intention around getting fit into real action.
I think that it's time to celebrate just how amazing the body can be - and that means building an amazing body. Starting right now.
Fitter at 30 than 20, fitter at 40 than 30. The hrad work starts here
Live.
I think that this might be the show that changed my life - that turned positive intention around getting fit into real action.
I think that it's time to celebrate just how amazing the body can be - and that means building an amazing body. Starting right now.
Fitter at 30 than 20, fitter at 40 than 30. The hrad work starts here
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Past. Present. Future.
Today was far to nice a day to waste in an office – so I got up at 5.30am. Had all that I needed to be done finished by 10am and headed off into the city in search of sun, shoes and a cool place to have lunch.
Got off at 8th Ave and 14th street and walked North into Chelsea. Rainbow flags hung tattered, seemingly recoiling from the sunlight whilst the shutters on the coolest clothing stores remained resolutely shut.
To fill in the time I decided to experiment a little and set off to see two separate psychics – with the idea of testing one against the other.
The first decided that my Chakras were seriously out of whack. That my previous attempts at therapy had failed due to their being singular in focus and that the stomach problems I was having were caused by a confused sexual chakra. The solution. A $125 research reading and a course of psychic therapy. Oh and sex with men. I guessed that being in Chelsea made this a safe assumption on her part.
The second looked much more the part and had a no-nonsense approach to absolute nonsense that had me nodding along. The issue she said was that there was a woman who had been dead set against my marriage and who was feeding mt rtelationship regular doses of poison even now. Then there was the physical, psychological or sexual abuse that I must have suffered to make me so susceptible to ‘dark energy’. I explained that I’m British and that we run on cynicism but she shrugged that off and thought that $150 worth of past life regression might help shed some light on the issue.
I made my excuses and left.
What did they have in common? Well both probed potential relationship and work issues – which I guess is a safe bet, most people seeing a psychic would be looking for advice in one area or the other. Both flattered me in terms of my ‘Creative Spirit’ – though both chided me for not doing more with my ‘writing ability’
Both asked that I write every day. Both had treatments ready to go for me.
#1 seemed to suggest that I was a potentially suicidal bisexual who was emotionally, spiritually and sexually stunted. #2 that I was prone to depression, cynicism and a darkness that keeps me shackled in its basement dungeon.
Hardly uplifting. But a very entertaining way to spend $20.
Rest of the day was altogether better. Found some shoes. Ate a very healthy lunch. Unlocked my gym membership. Tried on ridiculous clothing. Helped a women who got trapped under a fallen fixture at Barney’s co-op. Walked the dog. Wrote a speech.
Think I might go in to work tomorrow.
Got off at 8th Ave and 14th street and walked North into Chelsea. Rainbow flags hung tattered, seemingly recoiling from the sunlight whilst the shutters on the coolest clothing stores remained resolutely shut.
To fill in the time I decided to experiment a little and set off to see two separate psychics – with the idea of testing one against the other.
The first decided that my Chakras were seriously out of whack. That my previous attempts at therapy had failed due to their being singular in focus and that the stomach problems I was having were caused by a confused sexual chakra. The solution. A $125 research reading and a course of psychic therapy. Oh and sex with men. I guessed that being in Chelsea made this a safe assumption on her part.
The second looked much more the part and had a no-nonsense approach to absolute nonsense that had me nodding along. The issue she said was that there was a woman who had been dead set against my marriage and who was feeding mt rtelationship regular doses of poison even now. Then there was the physical, psychological or sexual abuse that I must have suffered to make me so susceptible to ‘dark energy’. I explained that I’m British and that we run on cynicism but she shrugged that off and thought that $150 worth of past life regression might help shed some light on the issue.
I made my excuses and left.
What did they have in common? Well both probed potential relationship and work issues – which I guess is a safe bet, most people seeing a psychic would be looking for advice in one area or the other. Both flattered me in terms of my ‘Creative Spirit’ – though both chided me for not doing more with my ‘writing ability’
Both asked that I write every day. Both had treatments ready to go for me.
#1 seemed to suggest that I was a potentially suicidal bisexual who was emotionally, spiritually and sexually stunted. #2 that I was prone to depression, cynicism and a darkness that keeps me shackled in its basement dungeon.
Hardly uplifting. But a very entertaining way to spend $20.
Rest of the day was altogether better. Found some shoes. Ate a very healthy lunch. Unlocked my gym membership. Tried on ridiculous clothing. Helped a women who got trapped under a fallen fixture at Barney’s co-op. Walked the dog. Wrote a speech.
Think I might go in to work tomorrow.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
As I write this
I'm filling my i-pod with 19 Russian Romance songs. I wish that I could say that Russian Romance were an underground hipster group about to make it big but alas I can't. The songs I'm collecting are from people like Ilya Lagutenko and Mikhail Aptekman. Why? I have no idea other than a vague feeling of my being more windswept and interesting this morning than I was yesterday morning.
I was at work by 7am yesterday which is hardly bohem' and not really conducive to good health. On the flip side I went out for a decent breakfast, had lunch with some charming people and a take-out dinner with my wife in front of the TV and a binge-watching session of Lost.
Jude has interviews all over the place in the next couple of weeks, so I'm having much fun as I book flights and search for hotels whilst wondering whether any are practical given that I may well need to work to supplement any academic salary she makes.
This is nothing more than fluff now - so I'm going to sign off, head for work and use the photocopier a lot (we need copies of current visas etc. before Jude hands in her passport for renewal)
Cheers all
I was at work by 7am yesterday which is hardly bohem' and not really conducive to good health. On the flip side I went out for a decent breakfast, had lunch with some charming people and a take-out dinner with my wife in front of the TV and a binge-watching session of Lost.
Jude has interviews all over the place in the next couple of weeks, so I'm having much fun as I book flights and search for hotels whilst wondering whether any are practical given that I may well need to work to supplement any academic salary she makes.
This is nothing more than fluff now - so I'm going to sign off, head for work and use the photocopier a lot (we need copies of current visas etc. before Jude hands in her passport for renewal)
Cheers all
Monday, October 02, 2006
Weirdness abounds
I decided to take my own food advice this morning and headed out to a diner for a huge breakfast that should tide me through the day and fend off vending machine cravings. Sitting at the next table were two men, dressed in the freshly laundered shirts of mid-level bankers - who were reading passages from the bible to each other. Eah would take turns whilst the other would conduct the choir of voices in his head, punctuating the air with mini hand gestures and rolling their heads on necks bent by rapture.It was very strange. One man preaching to the other - describing the life of Jesus in terms of business strategy
"The advisors say, go after the pharisees; get the power on board and let them spread the word... but Jesus has a grassroots approach... those guys must have thought - hey, he's crazy... time for us to get ourselves a new client."
Where it went from amusing to sinister however was when they started to talk about recruitment to their breakfast bible bashing.
"The best way to 'disciple a guy'" they said "is to stick to the five questions. But remember the first is always to question his sexual integrity"
Odd but fascinating - it was all I could do to stay in my seat and not join them
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Strange way to start the day
In the all new Heathrow tanning lounge and decided to start the day with a spray tan.
"into the booth
on with the paper pants
I'll be back in a minute"
trilled the chirpy assistant.
Well the paper pants were of the 'minimal coverage' variety, failing to cover even the barest of essentials and pretty much over reliant on a rather flimsy looking peiece of string.
Panty liner shaped and made in China sturdy they were foul looking.
Luckily I managed to distract the girl with the sheer awfulness of my body. I'm about 10 lbs above a decent weight and it shows in the gelatenous sag of everything above the waist. Y-euch.
Gym for me this afternoon and a session with Sherry Strong next week. Time to go from sick to fit - in time for my friends Chris and Ray getting wed by a brillo pad (or something)
"into the booth
on with the paper pants
I'll be back in a minute"
trilled the chirpy assistant.
Well the paper pants were of the 'minimal coverage' variety, failing to cover even the barest of essentials and pretty much over reliant on a rather flimsy looking peiece of string.
Panty liner shaped and made in China sturdy they were foul looking.
Luckily I managed to distract the girl with the sheer awfulness of my body. I'm about 10 lbs above a decent weight and it shows in the gelatenous sag of everything above the waist. Y-euch.
Gym for me this afternoon and a session with Sherry Strong next week. Time to go from sick to fit - in time for my friends Chris and Ray getting wed by a brillo pad (or something)
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Rather a glam day today
I woke up rather late, 'drew' a bath and sauntered into the office for breakfast at around 10am.
By 12 I was feeling a little knackered so walked down to a local health bar and had a weirdy juice concoction that tasted so odd it must have been good for me.
Talked to a nutritionist (always working you see) and then had a massage from a man that my mom would have called 'Dishy' but I found terrifying. Imagine a Kiwi Dolph Lungren moving your limbs with what felt like reckless abandon and you're getting close. Luckily nothing snapped, nothing tore and I managed to 'breathe through' the worst of the pain.
I'm now downing Yerba Mate based drinks in a bid to keep the good health thing going for a couple of hours ahead of my meeting up with an old friend and running down to Bibendum for my second fish 'n' chip supper of the week. Still I'm eating well the rest of the time and trying to walk at least and hour a day.
I'm taking the stairs a lot too - and trying to feel as though this is a celebration of my well-being rather than a determination to out climb death.
Drinks with a work-mate last night reminded me that the company I work for isn't full of insufferable prigs
By 12 I was feeling a little knackered so walked down to a local health bar and had a weirdy juice concoction that tasted so odd it must have been good for me.
Talked to a nutritionist (always working you see) and then had a massage from a man that my mom would have called 'Dishy' but I found terrifying. Imagine a Kiwi Dolph Lungren moving your limbs with what felt like reckless abandon and you're getting close. Luckily nothing snapped, nothing tore and I managed to 'breathe through' the worst of the pain.
I'm now downing Yerba Mate based drinks in a bid to keep the good health thing going for a couple of hours ahead of my meeting up with an old friend and running down to Bibendum for my second fish 'n' chip supper of the week. Still I'm eating well the rest of the time and trying to walk at least and hour a day.
I'm taking the stairs a lot too - and trying to feel as though this is a celebration of my well-being rather than a determination to out climb death.
Drinks with a work-mate last night reminded me that the company I work for isn't full of insufferable prigs
Oh dear
My creatve director has a picture of Freddie Mercury in his office too.
Statues, photos, pictures, books, musicals - it's the start of a religion I tell you
Statues, photos, pictures, books, musicals - it's the start of a religion I tell you
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Weird office shit
Amid the whinnying, braying, clacking and cut glass accents in our London office can be see a woman with the hair of Limahl and the wardrobe of Max Wall - if Max Wall had worn heels.
She really is quite extraordinary and you do want to ask her whether she doubles as a street mime or perhaps as the door-bitch in an 80s throwback theme club. But of course you don't, you just stare. And all of the stares feed her convivtion that she's gorgeous. And perpetuates the cycle.
Tragic, yet fun.
Have drinks tonight with the 'rotund gays'
Dinner tomorrow at Bibendum (was he gay?)
And Lunch Friday with a woman I've not seen in aeons.#
Almost enough to convince me that I'm having a good time here.
She really is quite extraordinary and you do want to ask her whether she doubles as a street mime or perhaps as the door-bitch in an 80s throwback theme club. But of course you don't, you just stare. And all of the stares feed her convivtion that she's gorgeous. And perpetuates the cycle.
Tragic, yet fun.
Have drinks tonight with the 'rotund gays'
Dinner tomorrow at Bibendum (was he gay?)
And Lunch Friday with a woman I've not seen in aeons.#
Almost enough to convince me that I'm having a good time here.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Funny old town
London is a funny old place. Yesterday everybody was desperately scrambling to have an opinion on Gordon Brown's speech at the Labour party conference - despite their not having heard said speech.
Of course the whole thing was hijacked by human pizza oven Cherie Blair (have you seen the width of her mouth? even Carly Simon was shocked). Blair's missus was heard muttering darkly as Brown did the requisite arse licking - and was reported by Bloomberg news.
A summary of what Brown said. He cares about Hot Button issues, is prudent, but fun loving and would love to be PM because, face it, the last guy has made a bit of a mess of it, hasn't he?
La Belle Toni talked today. I'm sure that he promised Angel Delight for every pensioner and a billion pound pension fund for every kid. What does he care? He's off.
Anyway London is knee deep in the mouth froth of talk radio participants and I'm finding it all rather amusing.
Of course the whole thing was hijacked by human pizza oven Cherie Blair (have you seen the width of her mouth? even Carly Simon was shocked). Blair's missus was heard muttering darkly as Brown did the requisite arse licking - and was reported by Bloomberg news.
A summary of what Brown said. He cares about Hot Button issues, is prudent, but fun loving and would love to be PM because, face it, the last guy has made a bit of a mess of it, hasn't he?
La Belle Toni talked today. I'm sure that he promised Angel Delight for every pensioner and a billion pound pension fund for every kid. What does he care? He's off.
Anyway London is knee deep in the mouth froth of talk radio participants and I'm finding it all rather amusing.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Haircut
Before leaving for London I had my first post chemo haircut, which was a bit of a milestone. And rather thrilling.
I'm now temporarily resident in The Capitol hotel - which seems to double as a home for the bewildered. The average age of a resident seems to be 80, the only activity a breathless stagger to Harrods with a nurse in tow and incontinence pants top of the list. The room service menu offers a 'pre-chewed food' option and all I'm kept awake at night by the sound of resporaters.
Change of weekend plans - am flying home on Saturday; all the better to walk the dog, see my wife and eat something that didn't come out of a deep fat fryer (went to Stamford Bridge for Harry Ramsden's Fish 'n' Chips today!)
I'm now temporarily resident in The Capitol hotel - which seems to double as a home for the bewildered. The average age of a resident seems to be 80, the only activity a breathless stagger to Harrods with a nurse in tow and incontinence pants top of the list. The room service menu offers a 'pre-chewed food' option and all I'm kept awake at night by the sound of resporaters.
Change of weekend plans - am flying home on Saturday; all the better to walk the dog, see my wife and eat something that didn't come out of a deep fat fryer (went to Stamford Bridge for Harry Ramsden's Fish 'n' Chips today!)
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Off to London
I'm off to London for 10 days or so.
My hand luggage is EXACTLY the right size to be allowed on board, is a half pound under my maximum allowance and contains no liquids, gels, pastes, pasties or items given to me by nice Arabian men.
I have packed my own suitcase and said goodbye to my toiletries.
I am ready to fly.
Of course Jude just spent 10 days in Sweden and the idea was to have the two trips match up so that we could meet up and minimize time spent alone in New York. But, like so many Liverpudlians, it didn't work.
Never mind. My Sunday will be filled with powerpoint. My Moday with rehearsal of the powerpoint. My Tuesday with the presentation of the powerpoint and the rest of my week with the repercussions of the presentation.
I'm going to head up to Redcar at the weekend - despite the fact that the parents are away. Hoping that I can still stay at home, failing which I quite fancy a room at what used to be 'The Sexcroft' - Redcar's Swinging B&B where forty quid got you bed, breakfast, chicken in a basket, access to the rubber lined orgy room and use of Dave - the well-hung barman.
Alas it's no longer the Sexcroft, business went south faster than the Canadian pensioners in Winter but I'm sure that the stains remain. And what could be more appealing? Or appalling?
Missed a friend's wedding today. I wanted to be there but all manner of work things got in the way; not least of which was a two day 'search, support and steal' mission that saw me in the dreary offices of two less than dreary ad / design agencies. Both agencies had good ideas. One underdeveloped, one overdeveloped to the point of grotesque and irrelevant. We on the other hand have a sound idea in need of fairy dust. And fairy dust is currency in the presentation game.
Oh and is it just me or do 90% of men in New York ad agencies sound 'sitcom gay'?
My hand luggage is EXACTLY the right size to be allowed on board, is a half pound under my maximum allowance and contains no liquids, gels, pastes, pasties or items given to me by nice Arabian men.
I have packed my own suitcase and said goodbye to my toiletries.
I am ready to fly.
Of course Jude just spent 10 days in Sweden and the idea was to have the two trips match up so that we could meet up and minimize time spent alone in New York. But, like so many Liverpudlians, it didn't work.
Never mind. My Sunday will be filled with powerpoint. My Moday with rehearsal of the powerpoint. My Tuesday with the presentation of the powerpoint and the rest of my week with the repercussions of the presentation.
I'm going to head up to Redcar at the weekend - despite the fact that the parents are away. Hoping that I can still stay at home, failing which I quite fancy a room at what used to be 'The Sexcroft' - Redcar's Swinging B&B where forty quid got you bed, breakfast, chicken in a basket, access to the rubber lined orgy room and use of Dave - the well-hung barman.
Alas it's no longer the Sexcroft, business went south faster than the Canadian pensioners in Winter but I'm sure that the stains remain. And what could be more appealing? Or appalling?
Missed a friend's wedding today. I wanted to be there but all manner of work things got in the way; not least of which was a two day 'search, support and steal' mission that saw me in the dreary offices of two less than dreary ad / design agencies. Both agencies had good ideas. One underdeveloped, one overdeveloped to the point of grotesque and irrelevant. We on the other hand have a sound idea in need of fairy dust. And fairy dust is currency in the presentation game.
Oh and is it just me or do 90% of men in New York ad agencies sound 'sitcom gay'?
Thursday, September 21, 2006
The end of summer
Tonight I finally admitted defeat, climbed out onto the fire escape and took the aircon out of our window. One less pimple on the acned faced of Williamsburg. One more admission that the summer is over.
I've enjoyed this summer, at home, with the dog - going for long walks, watching people in the park, realizing that whilst I used to spend hours in an office with no outside views of the world others were out living life. Feeling the sun on their faces. The grass under their feet. No doubt my face will pay the price of too many hours outside but a few lines and patches of leather are a small price to pay for a summer that was glorious and unexpected.
Had I died, as well I might, back in the bleak days of February I would never experienced the feeling of work punctuating life - only of life occasionally being allowed to peak around the long shadow that work cast over my every thought.
Jude got it far earlier than I did. With Africa and her PhD. Blur were right - modern life is rubbish. And the secret is that you can opt out. Choose not to be the monkey. Choose to define yourself by what you do - not who you work for. I think that I might, just might, do exactly that and pretty soon
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
A good day
talk ideas and taking dictation from a client today. It was so good to be in a room with somebody - rather than on the phone to them. Made me realize that more than anything I'm lonely at work.
Guy I now sit next to finally realized that my 'bald sick looking phase' was more circumstance than fashion choice and looked suitably embarrassed.
Have meeting with la grande toupee de la creative global tomorrow at 9am - I have no idea why but I guess we'll see.
Sorry that these have been infrequent, short and crap. We'll see what happens tomorrow - and make up stuff if the meetings are as mundane as ever
Guy I now sit next to finally realized that my 'bald sick looking phase' was more circumstance than fashion choice and looked suitably embarrassed.
Have meeting with la grande toupee de la creative global tomorrow at 9am - I have no idea why but I guess we'll see.
Sorry that these have been infrequent, short and crap. We'll see what happens tomorrow - and make up stuff if the meetings are as mundane as ever
Monday, September 18, 2006
Don't mess with blurry but beefy biker babes
One last pic from my 'biker excursion.' I've been trying to keep to the 'real photographer' ethos and attempting not to use zoom when taking candid street pics. It sounds easy - but it's not. Whilst it's perfectly legal to take pictures of people on the street (unless they're going to be used commercially) most people don't know that little fact and proceed to get very blousey.
Still thes chicks gave me no trouble - mainly because I was hiding behind the tall bloke whose shoulder is visible bottom right.
Got quite a lot of work done this morning. Jude will be home in about an hour and a half (she just landed at Newark), fresh direct are coming and I've promised to take a bunch of Aussies for Dinner, Smut and Burlesque (which sounds like a SandDancer act, but isn't)
Jeez
Still thes chicks gave me no trouble - mainly because I was hiding behind the tall bloke whose shoulder is visible bottom right.
Got quite a lot of work done this morning. Jude will be home in about an hour and a half (she just landed at Newark), fresh direct are coming and I've promised to take a bunch of Aussies for Dinner, Smut and Burlesque (which sounds like a SandDancer act, but isn't)
Jeez
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Jude's Away
And everywhere I go there are near naked women tying themselves up in knots (see pic) or twirking their glittery nipple tassles (see the Slipper room last night) It's all very odd and I'm blaming the suddenly hot weather (27c today, 29c tomorrow)... it's like a second spring, a last chance to throw off the clothes and feel some heat before the winter comes crashing in on us.
I'd forgotten all about winter until yesterday - when I went back and looked at the first few posts on this blog. It seemed to be a time of constant icy winds, snow, slush, drenching rains and almost constant darkness. Weird to think that it's all just weeks away. Still who'd have thought that I'd be here to throw snowballs at passing trucks and moan about how ugly my coat is? Not me. Not my doctors. Not anyone objective.
Jude home tomorrow (for some reason I'd thoughtTuesday) so now I'm looking for places to stash all of my crap and easy ways to dust without having to pic up a duster (trying a pigeon to the cat's tail was working until the pigeon kinda exploded)
I'd forgotten all about winter until yesterday - when I went back and looked at the first few posts on this blog. It seemed to be a time of constant icy winds, snow, slush, drenching rains and almost constant darkness. Weird to think that it's all just weeks away. Still who'd have thought that I'd be here to throw snowballs at passing trucks and moan about how ugly my coat is? Not me. Not my doctors. Not anyone objective.
Jude home tomorrow (for some reason I'd thoughtTuesday) so now I'm looking for places to stash all of my crap and easy ways to dust without having to pic up a duster (trying a pigeon to the cat's tail was working until the pigeon kinda exploded)
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Went down to N14th today
Went down to N14th today - all manner of bikers had gathered, tattoos, choppers and large breasted girlfriends on display.
They had a main stage that lots of people seemed to be ignoring - looking up only for the scantily clad contortionist girl.
When this gy rammed a screwdriver up his hooter only he raised an eyebrow - and even that was involuntary.
Have dinner and some sort of friend of a friend performing tonight... god I hope it isn't music that makes me feel instantly ancient.
They had a main stage that lots of people seemed to be ignoring - looking up only for the scantily clad contortionist girl.
When this gy rammed a screwdriver up his hooter only he raised an eyebrow - and even that was involuntary.
Have dinner and some sort of friend of a friend performing tonight... god I hope it isn't music that makes me feel instantly ancient.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Everyone's expecting
Almost everyone I know is expecting a baby. I have no idea where that phrase comes from by the way. But everywhere I look and everyone I know seems to swelling at an alarming rate. This I find very weird. You see I thought that my friends, colleagues, neighbors etc. had all passed on babies. Most are in their 30s. They live in rented apartments, spend too much on electronics and have impractical white furniture. yet suddenly they are with child.Which kinda makes me wonder whether choosing the sofa over the sperm bank (they cost the same) was a good idea. It seemed like a good idea at the time - especially as the tumors had meant that extracting sperm was going to be a medical rather than pleasurable experience. But now I wonder (pauses for a pensive wonder)
People keep saying adoption but I worry that no child could live up to the bobble headed Asian piano protege fantasy I have about adoption. Think "Team America : World Police", Kim Jong Il puppet and a touch of the Bobby Crush (a low rent British Liberace prone to playing second on the bill to performing puppets in dire seaside towns) and you have it.
So no kids for us. But the sofa is nice. And the dog's a hand full at times - usually when Jude's mom is here and she (the dog) develops midnight 'stomach problems'
Time now to read a document on how to best turn positive intention into tangible action
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
What a way to earn a living
I don't think that I've ever done an ad' that had real sex appeal. Certainly not one that could have been held up as an example of hypersexualization or moral decay. I guess that the howlers I helped produce on FHM were a tad' sexy but they weren't sexual. They were about the fact that men needed all of the help that they could get with masculinity. We just happened to use very sexy women to offer up the advice.
In fact in the last couple of years I've not been responsible for very much other than some interesting shapes in powerpoint, some bright ideas that made it to the back of the deck but no further and the occasional brief that led to an unremarkable piece of communication.
Yet I'm still in employment that keeps the animals in holistic pellets and keeps my wife in footwear with fur linings, or fur outers, or fur trim... furry footwear. And I seem to be in demand within the industry. I have, it seems, conjured up a reputation based more on my ability to enthuse than to produce. Though that's a guilty secret.
Of course I'm currently in an agency, a country and a context that demands a staggering overthinking of the ads we produce. Fashion houses decide on a world in which they want to live, usually a beautiful world were normal rules don't apply and proceed to shoot beautiful but ultimately empty images set in that world. Most of these ads are done 'in-house' - by the companies themselves - yet it's the ad industry that takes the bullets for perpetuating the unrealistic images that drive young women to self hatred.
The truth is that most agencies in the US are churning out boring ads full of borning looking people all enthusing about a product that has helped fix their overactive bladder or their 'out of whack' cholesterol.
We'll I'm afraid that I'm really rather fed up seeing ads in which two women in a kitchen (I cleaned that one up from the ad' agency version) discuss the cleaning power of maxi-pads or the summertime smell of a cinch tag bin bag.
If pictures of beautiful people promote self hatred then surely the majority of work out there promotes a deep seated hatred of mothers, middle aged men and silly slags everywhere.
I'd rather watch Paris Hilton fellating a Carl's half pounder than I would see a fat but weirdly happy girl ordering a salad and "Lovin' It" (and why do fast food ingredients always tumble in slo-mo from above?)
Hell I'd see Barry Manilow fellating Famous Nathan than I would another Erectile Dysfuction ad.
So I've decided to do two things.
To make some interesting advertising that says something and enters pop culture. Cool stuff that changes the way that people think.
And to make some mindlessly sexy advertising that does nothing other than titilate and provoke a warm tingle or two. Something that we don't overthink. And that twists the macrame'd hemp panties of moustachio'd do gooders of every gender.
This blogosphericals is my vow.
In fact in the last couple of years I've not been responsible for very much other than some interesting shapes in powerpoint, some bright ideas that made it to the back of the deck but no further and the occasional brief that led to an unremarkable piece of communication.
Yet I'm still in employment that keeps the animals in holistic pellets and keeps my wife in footwear with fur linings, or fur outers, or fur trim... furry footwear. And I seem to be in demand within the industry. I have, it seems, conjured up a reputation based more on my ability to enthuse than to produce. Though that's a guilty secret.
Of course I'm currently in an agency, a country and a context that demands a staggering overthinking of the ads we produce. Fashion houses decide on a world in which they want to live, usually a beautiful world were normal rules don't apply and proceed to shoot beautiful but ultimately empty images set in that world. Most of these ads are done 'in-house' - by the companies themselves - yet it's the ad industry that takes the bullets for perpetuating the unrealistic images that drive young women to self hatred.
The truth is that most agencies in the US are churning out boring ads full of borning looking people all enthusing about a product that has helped fix their overactive bladder or their 'out of whack' cholesterol.
We'll I'm afraid that I'm really rather fed up seeing ads in which two women in a kitchen (I cleaned that one up from the ad' agency version) discuss the cleaning power of maxi-pads or the summertime smell of a cinch tag bin bag.
If pictures of beautiful people promote self hatred then surely the majority of work out there promotes a deep seated hatred of mothers, middle aged men and silly slags everywhere.
I'd rather watch Paris Hilton fellating a Carl's half pounder than I would see a fat but weirdly happy girl ordering a salad and "Lovin' It" (and why do fast food ingredients always tumble in slo-mo from above?)
Hell I'd see Barry Manilow fellating Famous Nathan than I would another Erectile Dysfuction ad.
So I've decided to do two things.
To make some interesting advertising that says something and enters pop culture. Cool stuff that changes the way that people think.
And to make some mindlessly sexy advertising that does nothing other than titilate and provoke a warm tingle or two. Something that we don't overthink. And that twists the macrame'd hemp panties of moustachio'd do gooders of every gender.
This blogosphericals is my vow.
Disaster!?!?!??
So yesterday was a litany of disasters - only good news was on the health front. I'm now good to fly once a month, to spend 2 weeks a month outside of the US and to head back for the gym and to the massage parlours of Williamsburg.
Lawyers told me that I will be at my current job as long as I'm in the US for all manner of complicated and ever changing reasons. Sulked for an afternoon and have now decided that if that's the case then lemonade we shall have. Let's face it it I'm well insured, doing interesting stuff and whilst not living the life of Bill O'Reilly I'm hardly starving to death whilst digging ditches.
Plus it's TiVo meltingly good TV season. House, Grey's Anatomy, Survivor (tribes split by race!), Project Runway, The Amazing Race, Dancing with the Stars (Jerry Springer!), Lost III, America's Next Top Model... and all in STUNNING HD (except for Runway which is in screechingly camp stereo)
About to buy a slingshot - so anyone wanting to view said goldmine of marvellousness can do so on their PCs (no macs, yet) - just let me know and I'll send you a password.
Okay - planning superstar on the line - must dasj
Lawyers told me that I will be at my current job as long as I'm in the US for all manner of complicated and ever changing reasons. Sulked for an afternoon and have now decided that if that's the case then lemonade we shall have. Let's face it it I'm well insured, doing interesting stuff and whilst not living the life of Bill O'Reilly I'm hardly starving to death whilst digging ditches.
Plus it's TiVo meltingly good TV season. House, Grey's Anatomy, Survivor (tribes split by race!), Project Runway, The Amazing Race, Dancing with the Stars (Jerry Springer!), Lost III, America's Next Top Model... and all in STUNNING HD (except for Runway which is in screechingly camp stereo)
About to buy a slingshot - so anyone wanting to view said goldmine of marvellousness can do so on their PCs (no macs, yet) - just let me know and I'll send you a password.
Okay - planning superstar on the line - must dasj
Monday, September 11, 2006
Missing the Baht
I woke up this morning to see that my UK account had been entirely cleaned out over the weekend. Somebody had managed to repeatedly withdraw 10,000 Baht at a time... and 20,000 Baht twice. Luckily the mortgage has been paid but now there are cards to cancel and replace, an investigation as to just what's going on, long waits on hold to the UK and a burning sense of resentment. It took me 3 years to build the savings that we had in the UK and to see it all gone in the space of 48 hours makes my stomach churn, it really does. The bank was sweet - but pointed out that there was a huge backlog of fraud cases involving them, new cards and Thailand. I have a new card. It's never been used. And though I'm wearing Thai pants I've not been in Thailand for a while. So I'm going to take it that I'm one of the many and try not to get too annoyed that the bank knew that there was fraud going on in Bangkok and could see money leaking from my account at a rate faster than silicon a Californian's breasts after a road smash and yet did less than a sloath on a go-slow
It'll be a week before they issue a form. And a month before they start an investigation. Thank God that the UK is my 'safety net' rather than an account I rely on. That said if it's not sorted by the 4th of October we'll run into all kinds of mortgage problems.
What a start to the week. Sept 11th too, so taking my gas mask on the subway and charging through Grand Central like a rhino at the Macy's basement sale.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Last night... he said
So went for a bit of a birthday celebration last night... a little pizza, a few drinks, a bunch of people, some 80s music in a 'too cool to be playing this shit' 80s bar.... a woman with collagen lips who was dating a drummer... a key perched at the end of a bar who looked like a Botox'd Norm from cheers and turned out to have had Botox only a week earlier
Walked the dog, read Billy (the Billy Connelly biography by his wife) and went to bed around 2. Still woke up at 7.30 though, which is both annoying and should allow me to be productive before my 'cleansing rain' massage.
It will be my first massage in over a year - the last thing someone with lymphoma wants is to have their lymphatic system drained into their bloodstream. But now, post scan and completely clear I can finally shift uncomfortably beneath a blanket in a just too cold room full of whale music and bleached pine.
Joy
Walked the dog, read Billy (the Billy Connelly biography by his wife) and went to bed around 2. Still woke up at 7.30 though, which is both annoying and should allow me to be productive before my 'cleansing rain' massage.
It will be my first massage in over a year - the last thing someone with lymphoma wants is to have their lymphatic system drained into their bloodstream. But now, post scan and completely clear I can finally shift uncomfortably beneath a blanket in a just too cold room full of whale music and bleached pine.
Joy
Friday, September 08, 2006
Sad
So I was out walking the dog today and as ever she decide that she only wanted to pee on the postage sized triangle of grass between the highway, the basketball courts and the main road. Then having peed she set about sniffing and came across what looked like two discarded CDs. Interesting. Closer inspection howvere showed that they weren't CDs but DVDs. And interesting DVDs. The first featured a claimed four hours of hot transsexual sex whilst the second proclaimed itself a 'bisexual bonanzo' that promised '8 hrs of non-stop action.'And I have to say that finding them made me sad. The disposal of both DVDs in such a desolate spot just seemed like such a furtive act. It seems to reek of shame, of guilt, of self-loathing. I can imagine the walk to the spot, the glance around and the quick flick of both over the fence and to anonymity. There's a determination not to be traced - it didn't go in the trash, to be recycled or any place that might lead back to the owner.
Yet this person, this man, obviously bought the DVDs. How horrifying an act must that have been for him? To have to stand, in line, trannies and bisexuals in hand, money at the ready (you can bet he didn't use a credit card) and wait as the guy on the till rang up his order, slipped it into a brown paper bag, determinedly avoided eye contact.
I wonder whether our furtive buyer surrounded his purchases with other - less specialized - titles? Titty Slickers or Black Booty in a bid to look less 'perverted'. I was once told by a newsagent friend that men who buy porn usually also buy chewing gum. It makes the porn purchase look more casual they think. More of an afterthought. She said taht it just gave her a mental image of them furiously masticating as they were furiously masturbating. All spunk and saliva. But I digress.
I wonder whether he actually watched the movies - or whether he was consumed by a self loathing that had him throw them away before he even got them home.
And I wonder whether the titles were evidence of a genuine kink or a half-way house toward homosexuality? It's a very hispanic area and I think that it might be more acceptable to have a thing for trannies than a desire for dick. But then, what do I know? For all I know the guy has watched and watched and watched. Surrounded by partying trannies and off their tits bisexuals, his mother in the corner making more rum punch and his gay lover, Jorge, laughing as they casually throw in another DVD and throw the other out of the window to a baying crowd.
Still it was an interesting find - and it did make me sad. Just like the showers in the old Virgin business lounge at Heathrow that carried the heavy air of a thousand business men's grubby self pleasure - it had the grubbiness of shame attached.
Maybe Jeopardy will make me less melancholy. I hope so.
I love the chrysler building
it's lovely...
... and deserves to be more famous; perhaps it needs a lovelorn monkey of its own... or an observation deck for diabetes sweet celeb' couples to finally admit their love against a backdrop of New York night... but it's magestic
Of course when you go inside it's a different story - too many security people, tiny elevators, cramped office space but then it was always meant as something to view from the outside rather than from the inside.
Got my scans back and it seems I'm both clear and boring.
Jude arrived in Stockholm - where her friend Hannah has just become Dr. Hannah and is being gently roasted as I write.
The burning skin is today much better - should be back to normal by Monday and ready to jump back into work proper. Looking forward to it.
... and deserves to be more famous; perhaps it needs a lovelorn monkey of its own... or an observation deck for diabetes sweet celeb' couples to finally admit their love against a backdrop of New York night... but it's magestic
Of course when you go inside it's a different story - too many security people, tiny elevators, cramped office space but then it was always meant as something to view from the outside rather than from the inside.
Got my scans back and it seems I'm both clear and boring.
Jude arrived in Stockholm - where her friend Hannah has just become Dr. Hannah and is being gently roasted as I write.
The burning skin is today much better - should be back to normal by Monday and ready to jump back into work proper. Looking forward to it.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
The problem with an open plan office
is that you get to see all of the pettiness, mindlessness and passive aggressiveness of the nasty little girls who make up your colleagues.
We moved to open plan today
I had my first 'you're too noisy' complaint within 82 seconds
And left within 4 mins
We moved to open plan today
I had my first 'you're too noisy' complaint within 82 seconds
And left within 4 mins
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
A quick shot to the spine
Went to see my doctor about my 'burning skin' sensations and was rewarded with a flouroscope, a shot to the spine and a very cool picture of my inflamed vertebrae (count down seven discs and ouch marks the spot)
Marvellous.
Had a conference call at 7am this morning - so needless to say I slept like a baby (woke up every 2 hours crying) and am now knackered. Hardly ideal as I have to go and be impressive in front of an audience of cynical Brits this afternoon.
To spite them I shall use only Amrican spelling in my presentation and pronounce the 't' in 'Water' as a flat 'd'
I shall also claim to be 'dehydrated' rather than 'thirsty' - that should be the clincher.
Here's hoping that I don't fall asleep before they do
Marvellous.
Had a conference call at 7am this morning - so needless to say I slept like a baby (woke up every 2 hours crying) and am now knackered. Hardly ideal as I have to go and be impressive in front of an audience of cynical Brits this afternoon.
To spite them I shall use only Amrican spelling in my presentation and pronounce the 't' in 'Water' as a flat 'd'
I shall also claim to be 'dehydrated' rather than 'thirsty' - that should be the clincher.
Here's hoping that I don't fall asleep before they do
Monday, September 04, 2006
Scary Food
I was supposed to be in London today.
Which would have been good for the airmiles (I need all I can get);
Good for me personally (I wanted to be in Sweden on Saturday for my birthday and a friend of Jude's graduation - London to sweden costs $1.50 return on RyanAir)
And good for work (everyone is there)
Instead I have this strange burning skin sensation, a doctor's appointment, a week alone with the dog and a 7am conference call.
The work thing is pretty cool at the moment. 'cause I'm looking at how and why our relationship with food is messed up
- we're afraid of what's in it
- we're afraid of what it will do to us
- we're afraid of how to prepare it
- we're afraid of our feelings towards it
We're at a stage where good food is signified not by what's in it - but by what's missing from it (no transfats, no hydrogenated oils, no sugar, no fat, no taste, no interest)
And we're quick to make food the enemy.
We have 20% of girls 12-15 willing to take laxatives as a diet methodology. We have 7% of people willing to trade a lifetime of breakfasts for a lifetime's supply of morning cigarettes. We have kids with microwave ovens in their rooms.
I'm trying to find out how and why we got this disfunctional. To find out when bi-polar behavior (I'll suck on icecubes all day tomorrow so that I can have tiramisu tonight) came to be seen as balanced eating.
To find out when gastric bypasses became heroic.
To find out how, where, when and why we f***ed up on food.
And I have somebody else's money, address book and clout to help me do it.
It's gonna be fun. Just as soon as the pain stops, the doctor's clear me and I'm good to get on a plane again.
Which would have been good for the airmiles (I need all I can get);
Good for me personally (I wanted to be in Sweden on Saturday for my birthday and a friend of Jude's graduation - London to sweden costs $1.50 return on RyanAir)
And good for work (everyone is there)
Instead I have this strange burning skin sensation, a doctor's appointment, a week alone with the dog and a 7am conference call.
The work thing is pretty cool at the moment. 'cause I'm looking at how and why our relationship with food is messed up
- we're afraid of what's in it
- we're afraid of what it will do to us
- we're afraid of how to prepare it
- we're afraid of our feelings towards it
We're at a stage where good food is signified not by what's in it - but by what's missing from it (no transfats, no hydrogenated oils, no sugar, no fat, no taste, no interest)
And we're quick to make food the enemy.
We have 20% of girls 12-15 willing to take laxatives as a diet methodology. We have 7% of people willing to trade a lifetime of breakfasts for a lifetime's supply of morning cigarettes. We have kids with microwave ovens in their rooms.
I'm trying to find out how and why we got this disfunctional. To find out when bi-polar behavior (I'll suck on icecubes all day tomorrow so that I can have tiramisu tonight) came to be seen as balanced eating.
To find out when gastric bypasses became heroic.
To find out how, where, when and why we f***ed up on food.
And I have somebody else's money, address book and clout to help me do it.
It's gonna be fun. Just as soon as the pain stops, the doctor's clear me and I'm good to get on a plane again.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Liberty
i seem to have nothing but Dutch people on the blog today. And that's good by me but I have to wonder 'where are they all coming from?' Has somebody told them that's there's free bread, cheese and cold cuts to be had here? Have they mistaken it for a sight that sells fabulous lighting? Or perhaps for a site that fights against the evils of curtains.
I love the Dutch. My wife is Dutch. Her mom is even more Dutch. They wear clogs (klompen?) out to the garden, claiming that it's safe. They sprinkle chocolate (flokke?) on their bread in the morning. Then eat more bread for lunch. They invite people over in the evening not realizing that in the US a 7.30pm invitation is usually an invitation to dinner. And they laugh like well tickled drains at people falling down, stepping in dog shit and generally being idiots on any of those Home Movie Clip Shows.
Still, if you are Dutch and you are here - perhaps you could comment and let me know where you found the address. It will solve a little mystery for me
I love the Dutch. My wife is Dutch. Her mom is even more Dutch. They wear clogs (klompen?) out to the garden, claiming that it's safe. They sprinkle chocolate (flokke?) on their bread in the morning. Then eat more bread for lunch. They invite people over in the evening not realizing that in the US a 7.30pm invitation is usually an invitation to dinner. And they laugh like well tickled drains at people falling down, stepping in dog shit and generally being idiots on any of those Home Movie Clip Shows.
Still, if you are Dutch and you are here - perhaps you could comment and let me know where you found the address. It will solve a little mystery for me
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Lexus men Chase women
More tennis, more tests, more miraculous recoveries for Agassi and weird, prickly, symptoms for me.
I do have to say though that the 72 and a half gallons of spiked barium like contrast solution that you’re forced to drink before a CT scans went down shockingly easily yesterday. I wonder whether it’s addictive? I could see myself as a contrast solution junky, forever coming up with more and more desperate ways to get my hands on the liquid.
CT scan went well. We followed it with a river borne tour of the island which was rather ruined by a guide who was both imperious and narcissistic. Worse though he tended to run his words together so that all we heard was
“andonthatveryspotamanamanyouknowamanwithlegsamanwitharmsdidshoothismotherdead…you will neverseethelikesofthis town again”.
Weirdly he felt New York inappropriate, I’d have loved him had it been a Chicago gangster tour. Still I was more than a little glad to see him getting NO tips as we left the boat. “Oh-the-places-we-find-pleasure.”
Two sponsors of the US Open Lexus for the guys and JP morgan Chase for the women. Easy way to remember - “Lexus Men Chase Women”. Of course they don’t, because they’re a million years old but it’s a handy reminder.
Sadly the new Lexus ad’ only serves to strengthen the fogey image of the Lexus driver. It’s a nice idea – what happens to tennis balls after they’ve taken part in the open? We see them used as door stops, as pet toys etc. and then we see the ultimate (“Most exciting”) use which is to be suspended by wire from the ceiling of a Lexus owner’s garage at a height that it will touch the rear window as the owner backs in. Saving said geriatric from ramming the back wall. A nice idea but one that has me asking “Are Lexus drivers really too old to turn their heads? Too crap to use their mirrors? Is the car blighted by blind spots and poor outward vision? And why doesn’t a $50,000 car have rear parking sensors; you get them on a $15,000 Mini”
Jude’s mom leaves today – weather permitting (it’s WINDY) here today. It’s been good to have her – though I do wish we had a second bedroom (or a second bed) for people visiting. But as bon host it’s my duty to buy the pastries and make the coffee. So I’ll bid you adieu here.
I do have to say though that the 72 and a half gallons of spiked barium like contrast solution that you’re forced to drink before a CT scans went down shockingly easily yesterday. I wonder whether it’s addictive? I could see myself as a contrast solution junky, forever coming up with more and more desperate ways to get my hands on the liquid.
CT scan went well. We followed it with a river borne tour of the island which was rather ruined by a guide who was both imperious and narcissistic. Worse though he tended to run his words together so that all we heard was
“andonthatveryspotamanamanyouknowamanwithlegsamanwitharmsdidshoothismotherdead…you will neverseethelikesofthis town again”.
Weirdly he felt New York inappropriate, I’d have loved him had it been a Chicago gangster tour. Still I was more than a little glad to see him getting NO tips as we left the boat. “Oh-the-places-we-find-pleasure.”
Two sponsors of the US Open Lexus for the guys and JP morgan Chase for the women. Easy way to remember - “Lexus Men Chase Women”. Of course they don’t, because they’re a million years old but it’s a handy reminder.
Sadly the new Lexus ad’ only serves to strengthen the fogey image of the Lexus driver. It’s a nice idea – what happens to tennis balls after they’ve taken part in the open? We see them used as door stops, as pet toys etc. and then we see the ultimate (“Most exciting”) use which is to be suspended by wire from the ceiling of a Lexus owner’s garage at a height that it will touch the rear window as the owner backs in. Saving said geriatric from ramming the back wall. A nice idea but one that has me asking “Are Lexus drivers really too old to turn their heads? Too crap to use their mirrors? Is the car blighted by blind spots and poor outward vision? And why doesn’t a $50,000 car have rear parking sensors; you get them on a $15,000 Mini”
Jude’s mom leaves today – weather permitting (it’s WINDY) here today. It’s been good to have her – though I do wish we had a second bedroom (or a second bed) for people visiting. But as bon host it’s my duty to buy the pastries and make the coffee. So I’ll bid you adieu here.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Life in the cheap seats
Feeling very odd today. The slightest touch of either my stomach or my back gives me a pins and needles meets sunburn feeling that really is most off-putting. Even the light brush of my shirt against my body is enough to set me on edge. And I have to say that I don’t like it.
Wondering whether this new symptom is related to the fact that I have a CT scan tomorrow – the mind playing tricks that the body falls for. Whether it’s a random thing, a drug response or the first symptom of the onset of something ravishing, rapid and deadly.
My weight is up and down like Liberace’s spring loaded cock (a sign of water retention) and my temper is shorter than a Spaniard’s ‘to do’ list.
Should be seeing my doctor on September 7th (my birthday) but there’s real pressure from work to be in London 6th. 7th and 8th. I’d refuse to go – citing my health coming first but that might jeopardize my job and with it my health insurance; jeopardizing my health to an even greater degree.
My Clash Problem (should I stay or should I go) continues. Where I am offers security but no money and a lack of respect that Rodney Dangerfield would have found astounding. The two other possibilities? One has the healthcare I need but visas I don’t want, the other a Visa I want but healthcare my doctor won’t take. Catch 22. Squared. Bugger. Having one foot in the grave really does limit one’s options.
Anyway Agassi on in just over an hour and not a pan on the stove or a bottle uncorked. I’m offski.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
More f**king rubbish
Went to the tennis yesterday and was amazed at how many of the players seemed, from the right angle, to be missing a finger. Must be a 'cock your little finger just so' school of thought in the Russian filled tennis academies of Florida.Day started wet, ended warm and saw a Billie Jean King tribute (Diana Ross - or a facsimilie of her made out of discarded hair and shiny plastic) 'sang', McEnroe mugged, Connors looked uncomfortable and Chris Every tried to look feminine but not anti-lesbian. Marvellous entertainment.
Wish we'd had night tickets for Agassi, but we did see the splendidly monikered 'Mardi Fish' - a right old sourpuss too.
Work chugs on. We closed the office today (we're moving down two flights) and will be out until Tuesday - hurrah and huzzah!
Escape plans continue to be formulated and dashed with 40s war movie regularity.
And my favorite watch - a Breil Ducati thing - all black rubber and red trim was stolen from my wrist. Or fell off. But that's hard to swallow - it was a year old, in perfect condition and a one piece strap. So I'm going with nicked. Had it on in the Starbuck's queue, didn't when I got off the subway home. Most upset.
anyway a bunch of theatre types coming over to watch a subtitled black and white belgian video installation piece about destruction and beauty. have to make myself scarse.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Cat on a dishwasher
Yup, I've joined in the 'punning on the title but not seeing the movie' sensation that's built up around the 'is it out yet?' Snakes On A Plane
It's Sunday
It's raining
It's cold (22C)
We've all been indoors for a couple of days
And Jude's about to leave for school
Still lots of snubs at the Emmys tonight and US Open tickets for tomorrow
So maybe we'll have something to say then
It's Sunday
It's raining
It's cold (22C)
We've all been indoors for a couple of days
And Jude's about to leave for school
Still lots of snubs at the Emmys tonight and US Open tickets for tomorrow
So maybe we'll have something to say then
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Happy viewing
Yesterday a very nice man came from Time Warner to fix up a HD cable box to our lovely Sharp Aquos TV. He was on time, polite, competent and patient. The new TV is now producing pictures better than we've ecer had and we're paying less for more channels, many of which are in stunning (and stunningly wide) HD.I bought the TV while Jude was away - it's multisystem; so it will go wherever we do and work with whatever bits of kit we buy and it's rather nice. Jude was disappointed with the size at first (she's wanted 6 more inches?!?!?) but I'd done my geometry and knew that 26" was the perfect size for the 'living room' we've carved out of our loft space.
Not much else happening. The rain is falling and the temperatures dropping (last night dropped to 18C - brrr), my scans are due next Friday, my cough has abated, my underwear is ass-blood free and all is well with the world. Time I think for archery class.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Burnt (burned?) Out and Angry
Over the past couple of days I've been, accurately, described as 'burnt out' and 'angry'... I've also been offered a new job and seem to have tickled more than the fancy of another prospective employer. Strange how I can come across as a hollow shell of a man to some and a vessel full of light to others. The truth of course is that some situations depress me (travel to eye wateringly expensive cities against the orders of my doctors, being seen as billable rather than useful, futile work that proves effort but provides no momentum) and others invigorate and energize me (conversations with smart people, a shared sense of purpose, systems that trim fat rather than pork up timelines and fees). The truth is that I don't know whether I'm coming or going. An offer of employment that gets lost in the mail is either a sign that the US Postal service isn't all it should be or a cosmic sign that all is not right with the offer. I'm turning into Jackie Stallone, Dionne Warwick and Nancy Reagan - offering up lamb's livers for divine readings. Very odd.
Of course I'll be offering up my own liver for oncological reading soon - my 3 month scans are due Sept 1st. How time flies. I could be 1/8th through my expected life span or three months into a total and long lived recovery. I'll be happy when my ass stops bleeding (a painful tale, believe me)
Again an unpleasant place at which to stop and another abstract moan into the void of cyberspace (is it still called cyberspace or do I have to talk blogosphere these days?) - more tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
I like lodges
There's a restaurant near my house called Lodge. It has acrylic antlers and waif thin waitresses with under arm tattoo-ing. Nextdoor is the Lodge general store - which bakes its own bread and sells things that are bad for you with labels that make them seem good for you (ORGANIC chocolate spread) and then there's Lodge212 - good people who do good work and seem to have fun doing it. I like them best of all. And so I've decided that Lodges are the future (oh dear I'm coming over all Faith Popcorn) - that the laid back, wood panelled, hint of manly musk in the air life is for me. Now where is that 'lumberjack' shirt?
Monday, August 21, 2006
Golf Clubs
I've been accused of owning golf clubs... I don't; but my wife does. I did of course try to learn to play golf, taking lessons in Australia - but that was more in the hope of seeing an in-town Will Smith than actually mastering the tricky game.
I did however watch a golf movie last night - The Greatest Game Ever Played; which was just predictable enough for my (not English as a first language speaking) mother in law to follow post two glasses of white wine and just entertaining enough to stop me from throwing another shoe at the TV.
Started a proper diet today - the weight has been creeping on for weeks now; so it's time to really grab the cliche by the wotnots and start on a regime so punishing it would make a dominatrix weep. I do enjoy punishing regimes - there's something about denial that brings out the best in me - said he sounding very Karen Carpenter.
Work continues to be an 18hr a day marathon with no distance markers. But I have days off Friday, Monday and then Thurs, Fri, Monday so it'll be short weeks.
No more beer pitch to worry about either. So all I need now is a quick global strategy on a tricky brand, a dual language blog with 6 country participation, a panel of 100 experts willing to talk at short notice, an academic symposium and for Harvard to agree my long term research proposal. By Thursday. Easy.
Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh!
I did however watch a golf movie last night - The Greatest Game Ever Played; which was just predictable enough for my (not English as a first language speaking) mother in law to follow post two glasses of white wine and just entertaining enough to stop me from throwing another shoe at the TV.
Started a proper diet today - the weight has been creeping on for weeks now; so it's time to really grab the cliche by the wotnots and start on a regime so punishing it would make a dominatrix weep. I do enjoy punishing regimes - there's something about denial that brings out the best in me - said he sounding very Karen Carpenter.
Work continues to be an 18hr a day marathon with no distance markers. But I have days off Friday, Monday and then Thurs, Fri, Monday so it'll be short weeks.
No more beer pitch to worry about either. So all I need now is a quick global strategy on a tricky brand, a dual language blog with 6 country participation, a panel of 100 experts willing to talk at short notice, an academic symposium and for Harvard to agree my long term research proposal. By Thursday. Easy.
Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh!
Saturday, August 19, 2006
All very strange
Took this just the other day. Seems that somebody didn't want half a mannequin anymore - and threw it away courdroy trousers, socks and all.
In what's become very familar these days I'm waiting on the DirectTv repairman to come on over. It's the 3rd scheduled visit. The first guy buggered everything and promptly left.
The second didn't even show up.
And this guy I'm told will both show up AND fix everything.
Like Thomas and Starr Jones I have my doubts. Still I switch to Time Warner HD on August 25th - so I'm a happy bunny.
Jude's mom also arrives today. Yesterday was spent clearing out closet space for her. We finally admitted that we had too much shit for one open plan space and hired a large cage downstair to handle the overflow (books, a TV, golf clubs, extra hi-fi equipment). I can finally say that we are American - having succumbed to 'excess' in the worst way.
Our justification is very American too. We may, one day, have more money. This would mean a bigger house. A bigger house would have room for more stuff. Therefore throwing away out current stuff would be in opposition to our American Dream - an admission that it IS only a dream.
Not much else happening. I went into Babeland the other day and was greated with stares so icy my external organs all withered away, frost bitten. How was I to know that the 'voluptuous' counter assistant was demonstrating the joys of the double ended dolphin to the giggling Japanese lesbians? Jeez next time I'll make an appointment.
And on that slightly vague yet strangely graphic note I shall leave you.
In what's become very familar these days I'm waiting on the DirectTv repairman to come on over. It's the 3rd scheduled visit. The first guy buggered everything and promptly left.
The second didn't even show up.
And this guy I'm told will both show up AND fix everything.
Like Thomas and Starr Jones I have my doubts. Still I switch to Time Warner HD on August 25th - so I'm a happy bunny.
Jude's mom also arrives today. Yesterday was spent clearing out closet space for her. We finally admitted that we had too much shit for one open plan space and hired a large cage downstair to handle the overflow (books, a TV, golf clubs, extra hi-fi equipment). I can finally say that we are American - having succumbed to 'excess' in the worst way.
Our justification is very American too. We may, one day, have more money. This would mean a bigger house. A bigger house would have room for more stuff. Therefore throwing away out current stuff would be in opposition to our American Dream - an admission that it IS only a dream.
Not much else happening. I went into Babeland the other day and was greated with stares so icy my external organs all withered away, frost bitten. How was I to know that the 'voluptuous' counter assistant was demonstrating the joys of the double ended dolphin to the giggling Japanese lesbians? Jeez next time I'll make an appointment.
And on that slightly vague yet strangely graphic note I shall leave you.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Early Start
6.55am and I'm waiting on my first conference call of the day. It's a five hour jobby with London and I'm not entirely sure that either my phone battery or my will to live will hold out until the projected midday finish.
Met somebody for lunch yesterday at 'English Is Italian' - an Italian restaurant headed up by semi-celebrity chef Todd English. I chose the place but it REALLY wasn't me at all. All big and fake plush and unneccessarily hushed. Good ice cream though - summer corn, chocolate and raspberry.
Prior to that had dinner at a japanese place that was VERY Kill Bill. Weird to eat on your own money in the same way that you would on an anonymous expense account (though I do tend toward the frugal when I know that somebody who doesn't get to go out for dinner is going to have to approve my costs) - we just blew through the menu, ordered more, then more still and threw in an extra helping of ridiculous for good measure. Fun though to be with people who know my company and the people I work with - yet who aren't part of the machine.
Anyway already taken two calls whilst writing this. Off to talk about the potential power of food.
Met somebody for lunch yesterday at 'English Is Italian' - an Italian restaurant headed up by semi-celebrity chef Todd English. I chose the place but it REALLY wasn't me at all. All big and fake plush and unneccessarily hushed. Good ice cream though - summer corn, chocolate and raspberry.
Prior to that had dinner at a japanese place that was VERY Kill Bill. Weird to eat on your own money in the same way that you would on an anonymous expense account (though I do tend toward the frugal when I know that somebody who doesn't get to go out for dinner is going to have to approve my costs) - we just blew through the menu, ordered more, then more still and threw in an extra helping of ridiculous for good measure. Fun though to be with people who know my company and the people I work with - yet who aren't part of the machine.
Anyway already taken two calls whilst writing this. Off to talk about the potential power of food.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Say hello, goodbye
Abi helped out on a brainstorm for Knorr (one of my brands) before leaving for a new life and a new client in Amsterdam.
I've done a lot of 'hello, goodbyes' over the last few years and I really wish that I'd photographed everyone 'in situ' - I tend to categorize people by where we most often / first / most memorably hung out together.
There are trees in New York that remind me of certain people, beaches in Sydney, streets in Singapore, sofas in India and all manner of weird inanimate objects all over the UK.
Perhaps I'm strange - or perhaps I'm on the verge of a 'breakthrough memory system' a la Paul Daniels in the mid-80s.
Who knows.
Still knackered, my mood still weirdly dark and still angry at DirectTV (the guy who was supposed to come today just didn't bother. Instead he filled out a bogus work docket from his car and buggered off home without even ringing the doorbell)
We have a new compamy providing all of our televisual needs as of the 25th of August.
Enough blather however. Work woes I will pile on tomorrow; but first a quick catch up with Project Runway.
Auf Wiedersehen
I've done a lot of 'hello, goodbyes' over the last few years and I really wish that I'd photographed everyone 'in situ' - I tend to categorize people by where we most often / first / most memorably hung out together.
There are trees in New York that remind me of certain people, beaches in Sydney, streets in Singapore, sofas in India and all manner of weird inanimate objects all over the UK.
Perhaps I'm strange - or perhaps I'm on the verge of a 'breakthrough memory system' a la Paul Daniels in the mid-80s.
Who knows.
Still knackered, my mood still weirdly dark and still angry at DirectTV (the guy who was supposed to come today just didn't bother. Instead he filled out a bogus work docket from his car and buggered off home without even ringing the doorbell)
We have a new compamy providing all of our televisual needs as of the 25th of August.
Enough blather however. Work woes I will pile on tomorrow; but first a quick catch up with Project Runway.
Auf Wiedersehen
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Angry!!!!
So the Satellite repair man arrived 4 hrs late and 8 stones overweight.
He huffed, puffed, sweated and groaned his way up to the fifth floor then said "there's nothing I can do."without even looking at the issue. (he realized, I think, that the dish was on the roof but the switch box was in the basement)
I begged him to take a look and he roughly pulled at some wires. The screen went blank. The signal died. He packed up his bag.
"When you arrived I had a TV picture", I said using fact as my weapon, "Now you're going to leave me with nothing?"
"Not my problem." he sweated "Call the office"
And he left.
I called the office. They didn't have a customer complaints dept. Or a customer service department. Or any supervisors. Or any humanity. They insisted I went through a million repetitive hoops and then they said "we'll send out another guy in a couple of days."
"Can you guarantee it won't be the same guy?" I asked
"No." they said
"Can you tell me that this one won't be a useless, fat, sweaty oaf?"
"erm, nope."
"Can you promise me that this guy will at least look behind the TV?"
"I can request that on the docket"
And so on and so forth for hours (I had to plug in my phones)
So we have a new guy coming tomorrow - and doubtless I have 'problem customer' against my name. I just want things fixed.
Haven't been as frustrated since the 'missing Viagra' incident of '04
He huffed, puffed, sweated and groaned his way up to the fifth floor then said "there's nothing I can do."without even looking at the issue. (he realized, I think, that the dish was on the roof but the switch box was in the basement)
I begged him to take a look and he roughly pulled at some wires. The screen went blank. The signal died. He packed up his bag.
"When you arrived I had a TV picture", I said using fact as my weapon, "Now you're going to leave me with nothing?"
"Not my problem." he sweated "Call the office"
And he left.
I called the office. They didn't have a customer complaints dept. Or a customer service department. Or any supervisors. Or any humanity. They insisted I went through a million repetitive hoops and then they said "we'll send out another guy in a couple of days."
"Can you guarantee it won't be the same guy?" I asked
"No." they said
"Can you tell me that this one won't be a useless, fat, sweaty oaf?"
"erm, nope."
"Can you promise me that this guy will at least look behind the TV?"
"I can request that on the docket"
And so on and so forth for hours (I had to plug in my phones)
So we have a new guy coming tomorrow - and doubtless I have 'problem customer' against my name. I just want things fixed.
Haven't been as frustrated since the 'missing Viagra' incident of '04
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Ooooh narky
So yesterday my mood was darker than an Arab plot to steal the world’s lightbulbs.My credit card was used to open 30 internet porn sites – and I still don’t have access to any of them. Nor do I have a functioning card.
My Satellite connection went down, meaning that I had to choose between watching the finale of Hell’s kitchen and the semi-dénouement of Treasure Hunters. Ramsey won by a ‘camp head’ but I’m still kicking myself. The guy was supposed to be here between 8am and 10am; at 8.15 he called and said 12:00 and 3pm. If he doesn’t make it by 3pm I’ve arranged to switch to cable and they’ll be here by Friday.
My conversation regarding new jobs, fresh horizons and the like hit a familiar speed bump – work permit. It’s a long story and lawyers are ‘hopeful’ but I’ve been here before and can feel heart sinking.
My oncologist called, to arrange first scans in September. I started to cough immediately and now can feel huge lumps in my ‘Thymus.’ The thymus is sold by butchers as sweatbreads. Lovely. Will have dates soon.
Am spread too thin (‘too thin’ and me have been strangers for a while now) and sleeping too little (no wonder Thatcher went doolally) and flying too much – though I’m going to try video conference for the first time this week. I hope it works.
What else, what else? Working, along with the rest of New York on a big beer pitch. It’s the same old problem – ubiquity leading to invisibility. Nudity is only interesting in context – spend six weeks at a ‘nudist colony’ and it loses its power.
Anyway am trying to dial in on a conference call but the number keeps putting me through to a woman who offers me hot singles in my area. Very odd. Must get that sorted.
Monday, August 14, 2006
outside our house
new pic on the wall outside our house.
and last night a drunken spanish woman trapped in the courtyard.
i let her out into the foyer... let the police into the foyer and allowed them all to get on with it.
rumor has it that she gave them the slip and disappeared into dead of night leaving only puddle of piddle as evidence of her stay.
time will tell.
working from home today as the ofice is mid-restructure and more depressing than ever. It really is an awful place to be at the moment and the dust flying around worries me in terms of health implications.
jude in Atlanta and seems to be enjoying interviews. Canada and Canadians high on her good and nice list at the moment, but months of protracted and possibly painful negotiation to come. She's meeting with more NY universities today. That's the flow, I'm on the rip tide.
And that's it from me.
Should I just pack this shit in?
and last night a drunken spanish woman trapped in the courtyard.
i let her out into the foyer... let the police into the foyer and allowed them all to get on with it.
rumor has it that she gave them the slip and disappeared into dead of night leaving only puddle of piddle as evidence of her stay.
time will tell.
working from home today as the ofice is mid-restructure and more depressing than ever. It really is an awful place to be at the moment and the dust flying around worries me in terms of health implications.
jude in Atlanta and seems to be enjoying interviews. Canada and Canadians high on her good and nice list at the moment, but months of protracted and possibly painful negotiation to come. She's meeting with more NY universities today. That's the flow, I'm on the rip tide.
And that's it from me.
Should I just pack this shit in?
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Ooops
With Jude away the tempatation to do unhealthy things - like eat french toast with cream for breakfast, get on flights to the UK and stay up all night watching Queer Eye re-runs became too much.
Mind I did manage to turn down drugs (very nancy reagan of me); to fall asleep rather than getting ready to go out and to walk the dog twice.
Not sleeping much at the moment - have pitches, accounts and possible changes of job on my mind and lack of sleep seems to be the manifest. That of course really is no good for me at all - I'll try to rectify that one asap.
Other than that not much of anything going on. Today will be a dedicated 'pitch thinking' day... always good to have something to say when the world turns to you expectantly.
God I'm tired though
Mind I did manage to turn down drugs (very nancy reagan of me); to fall asleep rather than getting ready to go out and to walk the dog twice.
Not sleeping much at the moment - have pitches, accounts and possible changes of job on my mind and lack of sleep seems to be the manifest. That of course really is no good for me at all - I'll try to rectify that one asap.
Other than that not much of anything going on. Today will be a dedicated 'pitch thinking' day... always good to have something to say when the world turns to you expectantly.
God I'm tired though
Saturday, August 12, 2006
It's a hard life
Having been in London for a day or two, writing things on bits of paper with a scented marker I came home (on the last plane to allow toothpaste as carry on) and started visiting bars to talk to barmen about the beers that they sell.
This afternoon will be spent wandering from door to door, having a few drinks, asking a few questions and getting paid to do it. Well not quite - I won''t be getting paid; I'm officially working the weekend, for which there is no extra money. Damn.
Miami Vice last night happened to be the most laughable movie I've seen in quite some time. Guffaws met ever one of Coilin Farrell's tortured looks of consternation and every loving camera sweep of Jamie Foxx's butt. The 'hot chick' spoke english only phonetically and the whole thing looked grey and speckled enough to ensure that 1000s unfortunate enough to rent this on DVD will be getting up to check the disk and their connection leads.
Jude in Atlanta this week - conferencing - so I'm getting used to being home alone. She's gonna be in Sweden Sept 6th to 18th - catching up with friends and working on her thesis. Wanted shorter but I had airmiles to use up and those were the available dates.
Need to feed the dog, walk the dog, talk to some barmen and then head out to a rooftop party (the sun is shining, the sky is brilliant blue, there's NO humidity and temps are in the upper 20s)
Life has been worse
This afternoon will be spent wandering from door to door, having a few drinks, asking a few questions and getting paid to do it. Well not quite - I won''t be getting paid; I'm officially working the weekend, for which there is no extra money. Damn.
Miami Vice last night happened to be the most laughable movie I've seen in quite some time. Guffaws met ever one of Coilin Farrell's tortured looks of consternation and every loving camera sweep of Jamie Foxx's butt. The 'hot chick' spoke english only phonetically and the whole thing looked grey and speckled enough to ensure that 1000s unfortunate enough to rent this on DVD will be getting up to check the disk and their connection leads.
Jude in Atlanta this week - conferencing - so I'm getting used to being home alone. She's gonna be in Sweden Sept 6th to 18th - catching up with friends and working on her thesis. Wanted shorter but I had airmiles to use up and those were the available dates.
Need to feed the dog, walk the dog, talk to some barmen and then head out to a rooftop party (the sun is shining, the sky is brilliant blue, there's NO humidity and temps are in the upper 20s)
Life has been worse
Friday, August 11, 2006
Sunday is a day to shout about
Sunday Lunch is a tradition in England that steadfastly refuses to die.
People who assiduously avoid the stove all week will, for some reason, dust off the pressure cookers, turn up the gas to high and come over all Nigella Lawson (better than cumming all over Nigella Lawson - there's a Brit gag to make you gag).
Across the nation vegetables are over cooked, meat is heated past the point of charring - being allowed out of the oven only when it's threatening to pass the tipping point on the way to diamond and grandparents are invited over to share in this tradition of culinary disaster.
My parent's house is no different to any other on the street when it comes to Sunday Lunch. Ed the Ted (my mom's mom) comes over and is joined by my dad's dad. My mom flies around the kitchen, fighting her way through the steam whilst my dad does all of the manly things - which seems to entail removing lumps (from gravy, from mashed potatoes, from that orange pile of veg that might once have been a carrot, was then a puree and is now a soupy sauce) and carving meat with an electric knife held together with bits of tape.
Meanwhile the oldsters scream out cross word puzzle clues to each other and talk about the price of bingo markers, tripe and rain hoods. Or thery would if they were properly old - instead they talk about soccer players, soccer player's wives, Israel, the Lebanon and the racist attitudes of people generations younger than themselves.
Only half the conversation is heard - above the noise of electric carving, steam and whistling hearing aid batteries but it's a good time. A very good time. And it makes me appreciate that it's not what you eat but how you eat that matters.
People who assiduously avoid the stove all week will, for some reason, dust off the pressure cookers, turn up the gas to high and come over all Nigella Lawson (better than cumming all over Nigella Lawson - there's a Brit gag to make you gag).
Across the nation vegetables are over cooked, meat is heated past the point of charring - being allowed out of the oven only when it's threatening to pass the tipping point on the way to diamond and grandparents are invited over to share in this tradition of culinary disaster.
My parent's house is no different to any other on the street when it comes to Sunday Lunch. Ed the Ted (my mom's mom) comes over and is joined by my dad's dad. My mom flies around the kitchen, fighting her way through the steam whilst my dad does all of the manly things - which seems to entail removing lumps (from gravy, from mashed potatoes, from that orange pile of veg that might once have been a carrot, was then a puree and is now a soupy sauce) and carving meat with an electric knife held together with bits of tape.
Meanwhile the oldsters scream out cross word puzzle clues to each other and talk about the price of bingo markers, tripe and rain hoods. Or thery would if they were properly old - instead they talk about soccer players, soccer player's wives, Israel, the Lebanon and the racist attitudes of people generations younger than themselves.
Only half the conversation is heard - above the noise of electric carving, steam and whistling hearing aid batteries but it's a good time. A very good time. And it makes me appreciate that it's not what you eat but how you eat that matters.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
My brother has a baby
i can't spell her first name - Elanor? - but her middle name is Grace
I don't know her surname either - which is all very modern I'm sure.
anyway she's rather lovely, seems remarkably advanced for her age and seems to be especially well behaved in the eating, sleeping, not peeing on your Versace departments.
Redcar was good - cheap Prada, Cheap Vivienne Westwood, lots of family, too much cigarette smoke (that's england)
london was expensive but I developed a love for Mews streets. Visited three.
Jude's brother lives in a mews house that he shares with a number of flies attracted by the scent of the sweat eminating from the clothes he's seen fit to have strewn hither and thither across the limited floor space. In that London way it's cute whilst being murderously expensive.
The Mews I found in Knightsbridge was gorgeous, had a couple of good (if smoky) pubs and sold studio apts (flats!) for $2.5m. Pah!
And the final mews house was a photographer's studio with white walls, white tables and white coffee cups that set off the chocolate topped cappucinos to great effect.
Celebrities? Danny baker nearly getting hit by a cab as he moved at remarkable pace across a pedestrian crossing - and ex-boss, diamond top dog and all around good egg David Lamb (alas on his phone and moving too fast to catch)
Ate dinner at langham's - again overpriced, over familiar and mediocre but the company was good.
Flight back delayed (many were being cancelled around me) - got in at 1am; finished up sonme work, bed by 2am - awake at 5am and sent off yet more thoughts on everything. Will look impressive from across the Pond - but was really jet lag and boredonm combining to give the illusion of industry.
Heading for work - a beer pitch and another weekend I think. Jude will be away at academy and the office will let me take the dog with me so I really don't mind.
How are y'all?
I don't know her surname either - which is all very modern I'm sure.
anyway she's rather lovely, seems remarkably advanced for her age and seems to be especially well behaved in the eating, sleeping, not peeing on your Versace departments.
Redcar was good - cheap Prada, Cheap Vivienne Westwood, lots of family, too much cigarette smoke (that's england)
london was expensive but I developed a love for Mews streets. Visited three.
Jude's brother lives in a mews house that he shares with a number of flies attracted by the scent of the sweat eminating from the clothes he's seen fit to have strewn hither and thither across the limited floor space. In that London way it's cute whilst being murderously expensive.
The Mews I found in Knightsbridge was gorgeous, had a couple of good (if smoky) pubs and sold studio apts (flats!) for $2.5m. Pah!
And the final mews house was a photographer's studio with white walls, white tables and white coffee cups that set off the chocolate topped cappucinos to great effect.
Celebrities? Danny baker nearly getting hit by a cab as he moved at remarkable pace across a pedestrian crossing - and ex-boss, diamond top dog and all around good egg David Lamb (alas on his phone and moving too fast to catch)
Ate dinner at langham's - again overpriced, over familiar and mediocre but the company was good.
Flight back delayed (many were being cancelled around me) - got in at 1am; finished up sonme work, bed by 2am - awake at 5am and sent off yet more thoughts on everything. Will look impressive from across the Pond - but was really jet lag and boredonm combining to give the illusion of industry.
Heading for work - a beer pitch and another weekend I think. Jude will be away at academy and the office will let me take the dog with me so I really don't mind.
How are y'all?
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