Burnt (burned?) Out and Angry

Over the past couple of days I've been, accurately, described as 'burnt out' and 'angry'... I've also been offered a new job and seem to have tickled more than the fancy of another prospective employer. Strange how I can come across as a hollow shell of a man to some and a vessel full of light to others. The truth of course is that some situations depress me (travel to eye wateringly expensive cities against the orders of my doctors, being seen as billable rather than useful, futile work that proves effort but provides no momentum) and others invigorate and energize me (conversations with smart people, a shared sense of purpose, systems that trim fat rather than pork up timelines and fees).

The truth is that I don't know whether I'm coming or going. An offer of employment that gets lost in the mail is either a sign that the US Postal service isn't all it should be or a cosmic sign that all is not right with the offer. I'm turning into Jackie Stallone, Dionne Warwick and Nancy Reagan - offering up lamb's livers for divine readings. Very odd.

Of course I'll be offering up my own liver for oncological reading soon - my 3 month scans are due Sept 1st. How time flies. I could be 1/8th through my expected life span or three months into a total and long lived recovery. I'll be happy when my ass stops bleeding (a painful tale, believe me)

Again an unpleasant place at which to stop and another abstract moan into the void of cyberspace (is it still called cyberspace or do I have to talk blogosphere these days?) - more tomorrow.