Today was far to nice a day to waste in an office – so I got up at 5.30am. Had all that I needed to be done finished by 10am and headed off into the city in search of sun, shoes and a cool place to have lunch.
Got off at 8th Ave and 14th street and walked North into Chelsea. Rainbow flags hung tattered, seemingly recoiling from the sunlight whilst the shutters on the coolest clothing stores remained resolutely shut.
To fill in the time I decided to experiment a little and set off to see two separate psychics – with the idea of testing one against the other.
The first decided that my Chakras were seriously out of whack. That my previous attempts at therapy had failed due to their being singular in focus and that the stomach problems I was having were caused by a confused sexual chakra. The solution. A $125 research reading and a course of psychic therapy. Oh and sex with men. I guessed that being in Chelsea made this a safe assumption on her part.
The second looked much more the part and had a no-nonsense approach to absolute nonsense that had me nodding along. The issue she said was that there was a woman who had been dead set against my marriage and who was feeding mt rtelationship regular doses of poison even now. Then there was the physical, psychological or sexual abuse that I must have suffered to make me so susceptible to ‘dark energy’. I explained that I’m British and that we run on cynicism but she shrugged that off and thought that $150 worth of past life regression might help shed some light on the issue.
I made my excuses and left.
What did they have in common? Well both probed potential relationship and work issues – which I guess is a safe bet, most people seeing a psychic would be looking for advice in one area or the other. Both flattered me in terms of my ‘Creative Spirit’ – though both chided me for not doing more with my ‘writing ability’
Both asked that I write every day. Both had treatments ready to go for me.
#1 seemed to suggest that I was a potentially suicidal bisexual who was emotionally, spiritually and sexually stunted. #2 that I was prone to depression, cynicism and a darkness that keeps me shackled in its basement dungeon.
Hardly uplifting. But a very entertaining way to spend $20.
Rest of the day was altogether better. Found some shoes. Ate a very healthy lunch. Unlocked my gym membership. Tried on ridiculous clothing. Helped a women who got trapped under a fallen fixture at Barney’s co-op. Walked the dog. Wrote a speech.
Think I might go in to work tomorrow.
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