of fuckwittery....
I received a final bonus from my old company yesterday.
Very nice, very handy.
But for some reason they deducted only 4% tax.
Instead of 30%
So when I headed in to complete my tax return today I had to fill out a new form - costing me about $40 per line (tax accountants aren't cheap) bumping up the cost of filing taxes to $530 and wiping out my refund in the process.
I now owe the IRS $3700. I'd have paid it anyway, but it would have been a lot less of a hassle had it not been for one last, post grave piece of absolute fuckwittery.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
5C - at night!!!
Last night I drove home in daylight. Yes, daylight. And Sunshine. And without the need for a heater in the car. It felt as though I was living another person's life. I felt lighter (actually I am lighter, 5lbs lighter in the last 2 weeks), more alive, more connected to the world.
Mind the world smelled of skunk. The first sign of spring is bringing the skunk out onto the roads in huge numbers... and the smell of skunk in the headlights lingers.
We also drove in to Detroit for an Ice Hockey game. The redwings beat an evil Dallas side (dressed all in black for effect) 5-3... all very loud and very thrilling. Actually the seats were good, the pizza was fresh and the crowd insane enough to make things entertaining even though the players threw barely a dozen punches between them.
Weekend keeps extending. Food with a Dutch Columbian tonight, detroit casino dancing tomorrow and then down to Miami and the ad' school on Monday for a spot of 'show us what you've got'... we gave them a 'live brief' 6 weeks ago and they're going to present the work back Monday. Should be good. And maybe I'll finally set up a date to teach down there. I love teaching. And advertising. And Miami. So that would be a GOOD THING.
Okay back to work with me
Mind the world smelled of skunk. The first sign of spring is bringing the skunk out onto the roads in huge numbers... and the smell of skunk in the headlights lingers.
We also drove in to Detroit for an Ice Hockey game. The redwings beat an evil Dallas side (dressed all in black for effect) 5-3... all very loud and very thrilling. Actually the seats were good, the pizza was fresh and the crowd insane enough to make things entertaining even though the players threw barely a dozen punches between them.
Weekend keeps extending. Food with a Dutch Columbian tonight, detroit casino dancing tomorrow and then down to Miami and the ad' school on Monday for a spot of 'show us what you've got'... we gave them a 'live brief' 6 weeks ago and they're going to present the work back Monday. Should be good. And maybe I'll finally set up a date to teach down there. I love teaching. And advertising. And Miami. So that would be a GOOD THING.
Okay back to work with me
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Jude enjoys The Venetian
So here we are, back in a slightly less frozen Michigan (only -1c when I left today) and getting ready for a bit of an extended weekend. We have Ice Hockey in Detroit tonight, a invitation for dinner tomorrow and drinks plus clubbing in a Detroit casino with our neighbors on Saturday.
Not sure quite where we'll find the energy actually. The Vegas thing was a killer in terms of flights and the clocks going forward when we were there. We've been dazed ever since. Or at least I have. I haven't seen too much of Jude due to the amount of time I've been putting in at work recently. All good stuff actually - getting close to launch on my first campaign here and the work is getting better and better just at the point when it usually stalls.
Anyway talking of work, I have to dash.
More tomorrow
Not sure quite where we'll find the energy actually. The Vegas thing was a killer in terms of flights and the clocks going forward when we were there. We've been dazed ever since. Or at least I have. I haven't seen too much of Jude due to the amount of time I've been putting in at work recently. All good stuff actually - getting close to launch on my first campaign here and the work is getting better and better just at the point when it usually stalls.
Anyway talking of work, I have to dash.
More tomorrow
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Not Dead
So we're back from Vegas - which was fun. And sunny. And had great shopping. In very weird malls. A real mixture of art and tat that felt more Australian than American.... well Australia with a budget.
The Venetian really is quite spectacular, The Bellagio has ridiculous lines for its buffet and Caesar's Place - well it's just as over the top and tacky as you could ever wish for.
Jude and I did some competitive shopping. She opened with Jimmy Choo slingbacks, I countered with a Christian LaCroix (Sweetie) suit. The bags drew lots of attention, to which I became addicted. So as Jude was whisked into the back and shown lots of size zero dresses in Donna Karan I was showered with champagne, chocolate covered strawberries and stories of who had had what done (butt implants on the girl in LaCroix my favorite). Throw in a very Michael jackson jacket for Jude (it got lots of favorable attention later) and you have a shopping trip.
We also did The Grand Canyon (the real one, not some shopping mall facsimilie) by 6 person plane, helicopter, boat and terrifyingly close to the edge walk. Loved it, other than I went in to photograph mode and spent most of the time looking at things through one eye, through glass and alone rather than sharing it with Jude. It's a bad habit of mine (I did the same at the Spice Girls) and one that I'm looking to break - Jude suggested a backpack for the camera, that way I can put it away; a very good suggestion.
Shows? Well the much maligned Zumanity - which was part low budget circus, part high rent burlesque and impressive non-the-less.
Gambling? Not really. Too much noise, too much smoke, too high a minimum on the tables and too many hen parties.
Next time we go we use The Wine Angel (pick your bottle by computerized tablet and she's hoisted into the air, flies across to your bottle and lands delicately tableside - though I bet that harness chafes)
Back in April and not a moment too soon
The Venetian really is quite spectacular, The Bellagio has ridiculous lines for its buffet and Caesar's Place - well it's just as over the top and tacky as you could ever wish for.
Jude and I did some competitive shopping. She opened with Jimmy Choo slingbacks, I countered with a Christian LaCroix (Sweetie) suit. The bags drew lots of attention, to which I became addicted. So as Jude was whisked into the back and shown lots of size zero dresses in Donna Karan I was showered with champagne, chocolate covered strawberries and stories of who had had what done (butt implants on the girl in LaCroix my favorite). Throw in a very Michael jackson jacket for Jude (it got lots of favorable attention later) and you have a shopping trip.
We also did The Grand Canyon (the real one, not some shopping mall facsimilie) by 6 person plane, helicopter, boat and terrifyingly close to the edge walk. Loved it, other than I went in to photograph mode and spent most of the time looking at things through one eye, through glass and alone rather than sharing it with Jude. It's a bad habit of mine (I did the same at the Spice Girls) and one that I'm looking to break - Jude suggested a backpack for the camera, that way I can put it away; a very good suggestion.
Shows? Well the much maligned Zumanity - which was part low budget circus, part high rent burlesque and impressive non-the-less.
Gambling? Not really. Too much noise, too much smoke, too high a minimum on the tables and too many hen parties.
Next time we go we use The Wine Angel (pick your bottle by computerized tablet and she's hoisted into the air, flies across to your bottle and lands delicately tableside - though I bet that harness chafes)
Back in April and not a moment too soon
Friday, March 07, 2008
Off to Vegas
Home of gambling, hookers, strippers, lapdancers, replicas, wedding chapels, Elvis look-a-likes and Michael Jackson.
All pretty cool. My vow though is to see the world through both eyes, not just the viewfinder of a camera. We'll see whether or not that happens.
A friend yesterday had a much better way to sully the McCain presidential bid. He refers to the ex-prisoner of war only as "Ex Prisoner John McCain"
His logic? That if you call him an "ex-prisoner" often enough people will start to wonder just what it was that he did wrong and whether we should elect an ex-con.
An elegant distortion of truth that involves no lies. Brilliant.
All pretty cool. My vow though is to see the world through both eyes, not just the viewfinder of a camera. We'll see whether or not that happens.
A friend yesterday had a much better way to sully the McCain presidential bid. He refers to the ex-prisoner of war only as "Ex Prisoner John McCain"
His logic? That if you call him an "ex-prisoner" often enough people will start to wonder just what it was that he did wrong and whether we should elect an ex-con.
An elegant distortion of truth that involves no lies. Brilliant.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Dirty Politics
I've decided that the US political system is only interesting when there are some dirty politics going on.
For example - during the last election the Democrats nominated a genuine war hero who'd also managed to speak out against pointless violence. This they thought would help them. John Kerry could be by both stronger and more manly than the war dodging army deserter Bush (remember that Bush has gone missing for months from his cushy, never go to war post, off whoring and drinking) but could also talk about ending war.
Good plan - until the Repubicans smeared Kerry with their Swiftboat campaign, painting him as a war cowerd who somehow weasled his medals out of the American army whilst singing "I hate America" and drowning babies born on the Fourth of July.
Kerry sank.
So it's time to throw some mud people. Time to put these candidates on the back foot and see how they respond. I have a few suggestions.
Bill Clinton DIDN'T have sexual relations with "that woman" - Hillary did. Hillary then 'harvested' Bills sperm and put it on Lewinsky's dress herself - in a bid to have him impeached and allow her to take over the Whitehouse in a coup de wronged wife. The truth was hidden from the world as Bill decided to take the fall rather than allow Hillary to take her communist agenda any further.
John McCain of course has a worse secret. he makes ice replicas of his genitals (using a mould he had made in Vietnam where he spent years setting up Nike sweatshops) and then feeds them to his dogs whilst 'pleasuring himself'
And of course Barack Hussein Obama - is a radical Muslim sent to destroy us all.
Get out of those without moving, candidates
For example - during the last election the Democrats nominated a genuine war hero who'd also managed to speak out against pointless violence. This they thought would help them. John Kerry could be by both stronger and more manly than the war dodging army deserter Bush (remember that Bush has gone missing for months from his cushy, never go to war post, off whoring and drinking) but could also talk about ending war.
Good plan - until the Repubicans smeared Kerry with their Swiftboat campaign, painting him as a war cowerd who somehow weasled his medals out of the American army whilst singing "I hate America" and drowning babies born on the Fourth of July.
Kerry sank.
So it's time to throw some mud people. Time to put these candidates on the back foot and see how they respond. I have a few suggestions.
Bill Clinton DIDN'T have sexual relations with "that woman" - Hillary did. Hillary then 'harvested' Bills sperm and put it on Lewinsky's dress herself - in a bid to have him impeached and allow her to take over the Whitehouse in a coup de wronged wife. The truth was hidden from the world as Bill decided to take the fall rather than allow Hillary to take her communist agenda any further.
John McCain of course has a worse secret. he makes ice replicas of his genitals (using a mould he had made in Vietnam where he spent years setting up Nike sweatshops) and then feeds them to his dogs whilst 'pleasuring himself'
And of course Barack Hussein Obama - is a radical Muslim sent to destroy us all.
Get out of those without moving, candidates
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
What a day
So in a race tighter than Jordan's reconstructed vagina we saw Hillary fight back in Texas and Ohio - winning the states that she needed to stay in the race and bringing the delegate count almost back to level.
Most interesting was that (like Jordan) it was a last minute surge that put her over the top. In Ohio she beat out Obama in both people who had decided on their vote in the last 24 hrs and the last 3 days - showing that she has momentum.
She was hot with the grannies and with 'white folks'. Hot for people who see the economy or health as the most important issue and amongst registered Democrats.
Texas told the same story.
One other fact - women made up 59% of the Ohio vote (she grabbed 57% of their votes to Obamas 41%) and they mode up 57% of the Texan vote (where she carried them 55 to 44)
The Republicans had more men voting in both primaries.
More importantly Idol News. It seems that the lispy queen who appears to be auditioning for Project Runway rather than Idol isn't the only closet case they have. They also have a guy who until very recently was a stripper in a gay club. That doesn't make him a gay stripper of course but expect twisted hands and clanging rosaries from Paula.
Then there's the rock and roll nurse who sings like a tone deaf Bonnie Tyler and has a habit of wrapping her cars around trees. Seems that the second habit may be connected to her liking the odd drink whilst behind the wheel. Booo - bad Idol. Expect children in their millions to emulate her.
And expect Frenchie Davies - the woman kicked off an early season for having posed for 'racy internet shots' to turn up and go postal. She may have been a net ho - but she wasn't a drunk driving, crotch grinding, homo ho!
And on that message of hate I leave you
Most interesting was that (like Jordan) it was a last minute surge that put her over the top. In Ohio she beat out Obama in both people who had decided on their vote in the last 24 hrs and the last 3 days - showing that she has momentum.
She was hot with the grannies and with 'white folks'. Hot for people who see the economy or health as the most important issue and amongst registered Democrats.
Texas told the same story.
One other fact - women made up 59% of the Ohio vote (she grabbed 57% of their votes to Obamas 41%) and they mode up 57% of the Texan vote (where she carried them 55 to 44)
The Republicans had more men voting in both primaries.
More importantly Idol News. It seems that the lispy queen who appears to be auditioning for Project Runway rather than Idol isn't the only closet case they have. They also have a guy who until very recently was a stripper in a gay club. That doesn't make him a gay stripper of course but expect twisted hands and clanging rosaries from Paula.
Then there's the rock and roll nurse who sings like a tone deaf Bonnie Tyler and has a habit of wrapping her cars around trees. Seems that the second habit may be connected to her liking the odd drink whilst behind the wheel. Booo - bad Idol. Expect children in their millions to emulate her.
And expect Frenchie Davies - the woman kicked off an early season for having posed for 'racy internet shots' to turn up and go postal. She may have been a net ho - but she wasn't a drunk driving, crotch grinding, homo ho!
And on that message of hate I leave you
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
So here I am in Atlanta
sitting in a dark back room, staring through one way glass with the strangely metallic taste of old M&Ms sticking to my teeth and my chest feeling more like breasts than pecs.
It's an odd feeling being here, made odder by the general sense of fatigue that the 8am flight (6.15am departure from home) seems to have engendered.
Reading Sharp Teeth at the moment, a lychonthropic pulp novel written in free verse by a guy that I work with and like a lot. It's great. The verse seems like a gimmick (this isn't poetry) at first, but then you realize just how spare the language is, how quickly the story moves and just how muscular everything seems.
Check it out - it's well worth an evening
It's an odd feeling being here, made odder by the general sense of fatigue that the 8am flight (6.15am departure from home) seems to have engendered.
Reading Sharp Teeth at the moment, a lychonthropic pulp novel written in free verse by a guy that I work with and like a lot. It's great. The verse seems like a gimmick (this isn't poetry) at first, but then you realize just how spare the language is, how quickly the story moves and just how muscular everything seems.
Check it out - it's well worth an evening
Monday, March 03, 2008
Atlanta
So tomorrow I'm off to atlanta. Home of Coca Cola, the Falcons, the Braves, the Hawks, the Thrashers and of course Atlanta Dream - the women's NBA team down there.
Previous trips have seen me hurtling through the airport in a bid to make a connection between flights from mexico city and detroit. I never missed one but I've never been in Atlanta and not been in a hurry. Whereas I've never met anyone in Atlanta who is in a hurry. It's not just the accents that are thick with molasses, it's every aspect of the place. Atlanta moves as though a thick fog of humidity has engulfed the population, draining them of energy and making them fit only for a fitful siesta. Or at least the airport does, but I suspect that the melancholy malaise is universal. We shall see
Previous trips have seen me hurtling through the airport in a bid to make a connection between flights from mexico city and detroit. I never missed one but I've never been in Atlanta and not been in a hurry. Whereas I've never met anyone in Atlanta who is in a hurry. It's not just the accents that are thick with molasses, it's every aspect of the place. Atlanta moves as though a thick fog of humidity has engulfed the population, draining them of energy and making them fit only for a fitful siesta. Or at least the airport does, but I suspect that the melancholy malaise is universal. We shall see
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Crazy busy
Both Judith and I were up at 7am this Sunday - awakened by the plaintive cries of the cats but kept awake by the sheer volume of stuff that we have to get through this week.
She's knee deep in data, graphs, charts, a swirl of numbers and hypotheses. I'm groin deep in discussion guides, research specs, product definitions and art directional techniques.
It's 8.53 here and we have three computers open; all manner of e-mails to answer and text messages popping by the dozen. In many ways it's hell - but then I look around at the apartment, the well groomed animals, the ease with which we write cheques, our travel plans and the fact that neither of us pauses before throwing another thing into the basket or filling the car with gas and I have to say that things aren't so bad.
I'm also going to try my hand at a bit of script writing today. I have this theory that somewhere between the mundane ordinary and the trying too hard extraordinary lies happiness. I've been playing with the concept of Unordinary for a while now - and whilst it's not immediately relevant for the stuff I should be doing today it's always worth writing these half thoughts up a little and seeing what they turn into.
The pic, btw, is from yesterday's Eastern Market trip
She's knee deep in data, graphs, charts, a swirl of numbers and hypotheses. I'm groin deep in discussion guides, research specs, product definitions and art directional techniques.
It's 8.53 here and we have three computers open; all manner of e-mails to answer and text messages popping by the dozen. In many ways it's hell - but then I look around at the apartment, the well groomed animals, the ease with which we write cheques, our travel plans and the fact that neither of us pauses before throwing another thing into the basket or filling the car with gas and I have to say that things aren't so bad.
I'm also going to try my hand at a bit of script writing today. I have this theory that somewhere between the mundane ordinary and the trying too hard extraordinary lies happiness. I've been playing with the concept of Unordinary for a while now - and whilst it's not immediately relevant for the stuff I should be doing today it's always worth writing these half thoughts up a little and seeing what they turn into.
The pic, btw, is from yesterday's Eastern Market trip
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Eastern market
So today we went to Detroit's eastern market.
As ever it was a long drive for a disappointing sandwich.
We keep forgetting that it's winter.
And that winter in Michigan means staying indoors.
So the stalls were missing.
The buzz was absent.
And the people looked 'nithered'
That said we had a good time, bought lots of stuff and now we're ready to cook.
which is what we're going to do now.
As ever it was a long drive for a disappointing sandwich.
We keep forgetting that it's winter.
And that winter in Michigan means staying indoors.
So the stalls were missing.
The buzz was absent.
And the people looked 'nithered'
That said we had a good time, bought lots of stuff and now we're ready to cook.
which is what we're going to do now.
Eastern market
So today we went to Detroit's eastern market.
As ever it was a long drive for a disappointing sandwich.
We keep forgetting that it's winter.
And that winter in Michigan means staying indoors.
So the stalls were missing.
The buzz was absent.
And the people looked 'nithered'
That said we had a good time, bought lots of stuff and now we're ready to cook.
which is what we're going to do now.
As ever it was a long drive for a disappointing sandwich.
We keep forgetting that it's winter.
And that winter in Michigan means staying indoors.
So the stalls were missing.
The buzz was absent.
And the people looked 'nithered'
That said we had a good time, bought lots of stuff and now we're ready to cook.
which is what we're going to do now.
Friday, February 29, 2008
The I-94
I thought that I'd share what my commute looks like with the wider world.
This is the i-94.
The speed limit on the I-94 is 70mph (112km/h) which is pretty good for America. Certainly faster than most people from outside the country think that it will be.
At 1604 miles long it would take you 22 hrs 54mins and 51 seconds to drive from its western beginning to its eastern end (if you obeyed the speed limit and adopted an astronautical approach to the journey and didn't stop for food or bathroom breaks (or for fuel, which might be a problem)
Right now though my issue with the I-94 is that most mornings it looks like the picture above. What the picture misses however are the huge 4*4s who hurtle though at 70 in this weather, the deep central ditches into which they spin, the tailbacks that these spins cause and the amount of ice that forms on your windscreen as they kick up slush and spray you with the kind of salty detrious usually reserved for only the most disillusioned kind of 'actress'
Now people tell me that come the spring I'll forget all about the hell of winter. That a new hormone will surge through my body and fill me with a joy that erases mornings like this. I really do.
This is the i-94.
The speed limit on the I-94 is 70mph (112km/h) which is pretty good for America. Certainly faster than most people from outside the country think that it will be.
At 1604 miles long it would take you 22 hrs 54mins and 51 seconds to drive from its western beginning to its eastern end (if you obeyed the speed limit and adopted an astronautical approach to the journey and didn't stop for food or bathroom breaks (or for fuel, which might be a problem)
Right now though my issue with the I-94 is that most mornings it looks like the picture above. What the picture misses however are the huge 4*4s who hurtle though at 70 in this weather, the deep central ditches into which they spin, the tailbacks that these spins cause and the amount of ice that forms on your windscreen as they kick up slush and spray you with the kind of salty detrious usually reserved for only the most disillusioned kind of 'actress'
Now people tell me that come the spring I'll forget all about the hell of winter. That a new hormone will surge through my body and fill me with a joy that erases mornings like this. I really do.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Working harder than Peter North
which is why this is both late and boring.
Having fun today. Working out words for 'explosive' that don't bring to mind the idea of fireballs.
Harder than you'd think actually.
Though I found out today that in automotive speak any incident that involves flames is a "thermal incident" - hallelujah for corporate language.
Having fun today. Working out words for 'explosive' that don't bring to mind the idea of fireballs.
Harder than you'd think actually.
Though I found out today that in automotive speak any incident that involves flames is a "thermal incident" - hallelujah for corporate language.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
A cold day in hell
Yup, more snow, another -15c day and no relief on the grey horizon. The smoke is freezing as it leaves the chimneys that choke the air here. The roads are disintegrating. And the weight of relentless cold has yet to be lifted by the promise of the break of spring.
At work I'm busy administering nasty tasting medicine, throwing out band aids and making sure that my Kevlar vest doesn't slip and allow people sight of my spine for even one knife inviting second. It's good fun actually. And not nearly as dramatic as I make it sound. In truth we're working out how to take my unusually intellectual ideas and turn them into something a little more spleen rupturinging stomach punchy. Shouldn't be too hard.
The pic btw is taken pretty close to our house. I love the idea that a $7500 fine comes before 15 years in jail as a deterrent. And that diner workers are so in jeopardy that they need this sign. "How many waitresses must die before the Government takes action?"
At work I'm busy administering nasty tasting medicine, throwing out band aids and making sure that my Kevlar vest doesn't slip and allow people sight of my spine for even one knife inviting second. It's good fun actually. And not nearly as dramatic as I make it sound. In truth we're working out how to take my unusually intellectual ideas and turn them into something a little more spleen rupturinging stomach punchy. Shouldn't be too hard.
The pic btw is taken pretty close to our house. I love the idea that a $7500 fine comes before 15 years in jail as a deterrent. And that diner workers are so in jeopardy that they need this sign. "How many waitresses must die before the Government takes action?"
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Out of place
I feel strangely out of place today. It might be the umpteenth snow storm of the winter. Or the big meeting this afternoon. Or the series of little meetings that always preceed a big meeting.
It might be that my pants are so tight I have no circulation below the waist (sadly this is true of all of my pants)
It might be the heady whiff of magic markers (I know, I'm allergic but they just work so well when you use massive pieces of paper)
It might be middle age or the tightness of this hat.
I'm not sure what it is - but it feels mightily odd.
It might be that my pants are so tight I have no circulation below the waist (sadly this is true of all of my pants)
It might be the heady whiff of magic markers (I know, I'm allergic but they just work so well when you use massive pieces of paper)
It might be middle age or the tightness of this hat.
I'm not sure what it is - but it feels mightily odd.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Fabulously Fat
Yup it's finally dawned on me. Months of never venturing outside. Of driving everywhere. Of comfort food. Of wine, chips, dips and promises that you'll hit the gym when the negative temperatures hit single digits have finally caught up with me. And no amount of camera angles, sweaters, belt buckles and snazzy shoes can hide it.
I've gained 9lbs (4kg) since I arrived in Ann Arbor and I can feel the result chafing against the band of my pants even as I type. So it's time for Operation Fabulously Thin. Wanna lose 10 lbs in the next 4 weeks.
I have the before shots.... I'll post them only when the after shots look great - or if I fail to lose weight in any given week.
Here's to dieting.
I've gained 9lbs (4kg) since I arrived in Ann Arbor and I can feel the result chafing against the band of my pants even as I type. So it's time for Operation Fabulously Thin. Wanna lose 10 lbs in the next 4 weeks.
I have the before shots.... I'll post them only when the after shots look great - or if I fail to lose weight in any given week.
Here's to dieting.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
A second day of brilliant sunshine
So Ann Arbor delivers unto us a second day of brilliant sunshine. No matter that it's still -11c outside there's something about feeling the heat of the sun as it streams in and warms your back that's as uplifting as an under-wired gospel song.
What makes things better is that I know that somewhere in town is a freezing James Blunt - he played the Michigan Theatre last night and will still be somewhere close, I'm sure, Blunty doesn't like to get up too early - that's why he lives in Ibiza.
Our weekend plans were somewhat scuppered by the arrival of a small Pug who we're looking after for the weekend. It runs all over the place like some snot powered missile, grunting and choking and generally being unpleasant as it goes. Jude thinks that it's cute, I think that it needs one of Mommy's Ambien in its water bowl.
Talking of Ambien it came up in our 'Perfect Murder' slot at work. There's a woman there who is diabetic, no she's Diabetic - yet she can't resist a Krispy Kreme donut. Which accounts for the times that people have found her slumped over her desk and worried that she was dead. Anyway as one of the side effects of ambien is 'sleep eating' we figured that the perfect murder would be to slip it into her donuts and then force feed her more sugary confection as she slept. Coroner would think she sleep ate her way to a sugary grave, Ambien would have another scandal and be one step closer to a ban and we'd live free of fear of death whenever we saw the KK man. Brilliant.
What makes things better is that I know that somewhere in town is a freezing James Blunt - he played the Michigan Theatre last night and will still be somewhere close, I'm sure, Blunty doesn't like to get up too early - that's why he lives in Ibiza.
Our weekend plans were somewhat scuppered by the arrival of a small Pug who we're looking after for the weekend. It runs all over the place like some snot powered missile, grunting and choking and generally being unpleasant as it goes. Jude thinks that it's cute, I think that it needs one of Mommy's Ambien in its water bowl.
Talking of Ambien it came up in our 'Perfect Murder' slot at work. There's a woman there who is diabetic, no she's Diabetic - yet she can't resist a Krispy Kreme donut. Which accounts for the times that people have found her slumped over her desk and worried that she was dead. Anyway as one of the side effects of ambien is 'sleep eating' we figured that the perfect murder would be to slip it into her donuts and then force feed her more sugary confection as she slept. Coroner would think she sleep ate her way to a sugary grave, Ambien would have another scandal and be one step closer to a ban and we'd live free of fear of death whenever we saw the KK man. Brilliant.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Holiday
So Jude and I just spent a painful hour deciding when and where to go in Vegas before deciding on direct flights, five star hotels. front row tickets to shows and private helicopter tours, boat rides and guided walks through the Grand Canyon. Throw in a couple of pneumatic lap dances and we're looking a weekend that will cost $100 an hour.
Still the way that I look at it is that it's cheaper than a divorce lawyer, affords you more opportunity for photos and it's a great chance to watch middle America grazing at the trough of over indulgence. Happy Happy. Fun Fun.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Musing
It's very weird to have the pressure off a little today. Oh there's lots to do and there's very little time to do it but the pressure of uncertainty has been lifted. I have a couple of ideas that I love on the project that I'm doing, a few graphic treatments that are just sensational and I'm getting ready for research. It's all rather lovely.
Why the car above? Well all of this free time has me thinking about a road trip. I've wanted to jam a couple of friends into one of those station wagons that you used to see on National Lampoon's Vacation movies for the longest time. Just to plug in the i-pod, crank up the volume and take off coast to coast before the cost of gas ($3.19 this morning) becomes prohibitive and America turns into the UK, blasting anyone who drives, flies or farts as an environmental terrorist with the moral standing of Idi Amin.
I quite fancy a photographic tour. Load up the friends, the cameras and as many batteries as possible and just take off, looking for the road less driven, the big vegetable signs most often spotted and people with faces beaten by the sun and hopes crushed by the falling price of corn.
So if you're up for it (wrote he spitting coffee down his cream pants) drop me a line. The car's gorgeous, it has a fridge, a DVD player, reclining leather seats in the back and seats for four more. Anyone?
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