Amusing myself by writing film reviews; here's how today's started
"The Pink Panther, a movie delayed more times than a Tantric orgasm, finally hit the screens this week. And like a Tantric orgasm it made more of a splash than anyone was expecting"
I do amuse myself... just as well really
Red cells, white cells, platelette count all a-okay
Nausea a thing of the past
Fighting fit and raring to go here
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
DOLLYWOOD!
When Quokkaboy (I have no idea what it means and am afraid to ask - he's British) suggested that I head to Dollywood for a vacation he knew that I'd take him seriously.
I know that there will be bits of it that remind me that cousins shouldn't be forced to work in close proximity generation after generation and that there will be bits so sugar-coated it will be like being force fed donuts for a weekend - but ultimately the idea of visiting Dolly Parton's themepark is something that I can't resist.
And I will be visiting without tongue in cheek, eyebrows raised and with cynicism unplugged. I'll be there as a genuine visitor hoping to soak in some old style goodwill rather than there to gather some 'Dolly's second cousin is SO too fat for sequins' stories.
Don't ask me why I make an exception for Dolly - but I do and I will
So the job now is to convince Jude that a Xmas spent at Dolly's Tennesee Mountain Home (TM) would be an exercise in warmth, good heartedness and uncommercial Xmas spirit and not an exercise in my indulging in high camp at the expense of the people there for the spiced apple cider, acoustic singing and simplicity of it all.
The good thing is that I'm thinking about vacations in August and Xmas plans... two months ago I was thinking about whether I had the energy to make the bathroom or whether I should vomit into my dressing gown (bathrobe) pocket - again.
Blood work today - all was good again - now have 10 days to chill, feel good, visit friends and get ready for Chemo III (milking the formula)
Peace Out - as they still say in some quarters
I know that there will be bits of it that remind me that cousins shouldn't be forced to work in close proximity generation after generation and that there will be bits so sugar-coated it will be like being force fed donuts for a weekend - but ultimately the idea of visiting Dolly Parton's themepark is something that I can't resist.
And I will be visiting without tongue in cheek, eyebrows raised and with cynicism unplugged. I'll be there as a genuine visitor hoping to soak in some old style goodwill rather than there to gather some 'Dolly's second cousin is SO too fat for sequins' stories.
Don't ask me why I make an exception for Dolly - but I do and I will
So the job now is to convince Jude that a Xmas spent at Dolly's Tennesee Mountain Home (TM) would be an exercise in warmth, good heartedness and uncommercial Xmas spirit and not an exercise in my indulging in high camp at the expense of the people there for the spiced apple cider, acoustic singing and simplicity of it all.
The good thing is that I'm thinking about vacations in August and Xmas plans... two months ago I was thinking about whether I had the energy to make the bathroom or whether I should vomit into my dressing gown (bathrobe) pocket - again.
Blood work today - all was good again - now have 10 days to chill, feel good, visit friends and get ready for Chemo III (milking the formula)
Peace Out - as they still say in some quarters
Monday, February 20, 2006
Villa au hostellerie?
To (mis)quote Julian Clary 'Im strangely torn"...
Actually that would have been rather a fabulous quote from the man exiled from British TV for having claimed to have Fisted Norman LaMont (Chancellor of the Exchequer at the time) but already I'm off point.
So friends, family, casual viewers and disappointed Googlers (if you searched for 'fisting' or for 'Norman LaMont' I very much doubt you intended to end up here... try google images) here's the quandary.
We've settled on a vacation island - St. Barts.
It's famous for very little other than being the place where celebs get snapped naked in their villas (think JFK jr, Brad, Gwyneth etc.) but that-s what we want - not naked pics in OK magazine but beaches, sun and a break from the norm.
Our dilemma is this.
Do we rent the fabulous villa and spend our time sipping supermarket wine and badly mixed cocktails by the pool, pausing only to raise a towel above waist level when the maid service arrives
OR
Do we head for Hostellerie Des Trois Forces - a holistic hotel, run by a French astrologer with a penchant for the Buddhist. He sounds mad, his food sounds wonderful and the place is described as either 'basic but spotlessly clean' 'unlike anywhere else on earth' or as 'that dump with the junk yard car park and the mad old French guy.'
I'm thinking Hostellerie Des Trois Forces - a little yoga, some massage, some meditation, lunch by the pool, a great wine list and conversation with the Gerard Depardu meets Hermes owner. It's leaping out at me in a way that I seem powerless to resist.
But then you're my friends. It's your job to help me resist things that leap out at me, rendering me powerless if they look like a bad idea. The COMMENTS section is now open to all - you don't need to be a member of Blogger so feel free to weigh in on the matter... but hurry I feel my credit card burning a bigger whole on my wallet than the chemo is in my chest.
As filler to this and to prove that I still have half a brain I wrote my best intro to a film review since I said of Sahara
'Rarely has a movie been as aptly named as Sahara - an arid film, devoid of any real distinguishing features
that seems to go on forever'
This time I amused myself (if no-one else) with this opener to a review of hideous potboiler 'Firewall'
There are some people (of whom I'll admit to be one) who will see 'Firewall' as further evidence that Harrison Ford is coasting on autopilot toward an Indiana Jones IV payday that will keep Calista Flockhart in SlimFast for decades to come.
The plot of Indie 4 ' tentatively titled 'Indiana Jones - your grandfather's front room' has Harrison - now older than time - rediscovering an old box from his childhood, realizing through the medicare haze that it is the arc of the covenant and subsequently taking it down to a local filming of the Antiques Roadshow... just for insurance value purposes.
It's a surefire winner - and more tightly plotted than the Potboiler by numbers 'Firewall'
As I said it amused me
But enough of my old wank - blood tests then WORK tomorrow - yeh!
Actually that would have been rather a fabulous quote from the man exiled from British TV for having claimed to have Fisted Norman LaMont (Chancellor of the Exchequer at the time) but already I'm off point.
So friends, family, casual viewers and disappointed Googlers (if you searched for 'fisting' or for 'Norman LaMont' I very much doubt you intended to end up here... try google images) here's the quandary.
We've settled on a vacation island - St. Barts.
It's famous for very little other than being the place where celebs get snapped naked in their villas (think JFK jr, Brad, Gwyneth etc.) but that-s what we want - not naked pics in OK magazine but beaches, sun and a break from the norm.
Our dilemma is this.
Do we rent the fabulous villa and spend our time sipping supermarket wine and badly mixed cocktails by the pool, pausing only to raise a towel above waist level when the maid service arrives
OR
Do we head for Hostellerie Des Trois Forces - a holistic hotel, run by a French astrologer with a penchant for the Buddhist. He sounds mad, his food sounds wonderful and the place is described as either 'basic but spotlessly clean' 'unlike anywhere else on earth' or as 'that dump with the junk yard car park and the mad old French guy.'
I'm thinking Hostellerie Des Trois Forces - a little yoga, some massage, some meditation, lunch by the pool, a great wine list and conversation with the Gerard Depardu meets Hermes owner. It's leaping out at me in a way that I seem powerless to resist.
But then you're my friends. It's your job to help me resist things that leap out at me, rendering me powerless if they look like a bad idea. The COMMENTS section is now open to all - you don't need to be a member of Blogger so feel free to weigh in on the matter... but hurry I feel my credit card burning a bigger whole on my wallet than the chemo is in my chest.
As filler to this and to prove that I still have half a brain I wrote my best intro to a film review since I said of Sahara
'Rarely has a movie been as aptly named as Sahara - an arid film, devoid of any real distinguishing features
that seems to go on forever'
This time I amused myself (if no-one else) with this opener to a review of hideous potboiler 'Firewall'
There are some people (of whom I'll admit to be one) who will see 'Firewall' as further evidence that Harrison Ford is coasting on autopilot toward an Indiana Jones IV payday that will keep Calista Flockhart in SlimFast for decades to come.
The plot of Indie 4 ' tentatively titled 'Indiana Jones - your grandfather's front room' has Harrison - now older than time - rediscovering an old box from his childhood, realizing through the medicare haze that it is the arc of the covenant and subsequently taking it down to a local filming of the Antiques Roadshow... just for insurance value purposes.
It's a surefire winner - and more tightly plotted than the Potboiler by numbers 'Firewall'
As I said it amused me
But enough of my old wank - blood tests then WORK tomorrow - yeh!
Fat Virgin
Have been whiling away the long weekend (it's president's day) looking at Villas in the Carribbean. We're planning on taking some kind of vacation once treatment is over and of course therein lies the rub. We don't know when / if treatment will be over.
Chemo should be finished in May. It's then quite likely that I'll do radiotherapy too. That could be anything from 6 to 12 weeks. Of course there's then a 50% chance that I'll be in full remisssion (can't clam 'cured' for 5 years as 80% of people relapse). If the flip of the coin doesn't go my way we start to look at weird and wonderful new treatments - like stem cell transplantation - which can take another couple of months (locked in a room)
All of this needs to be balanced with the fact that it's been a tough year, it's sub zero outside, Jude's been working 100 hr weeks and we're running on fumes. We need a break - and I think that we'll take one at the beginning of August.
The brief - warm, clean, close and absolutely no cruise ships. Having stayed in Nassau I have come to detest both the floating pollution chambers that are the ships themselves and the badge wearing locusts that disembark from them - devouring all tourist tat in their wake and believing that a country's culture can be found within a half mile of its Duty Free shops. These are the people who take their homes with them and believe that they've travelled the world; and they fill me with more hate and resentment than is healthy for a man who owns as many Buddhist books as I.
So we've discounted St. Martins and all of the US Virgin Islands and are now looking at the British Virgin Islands generally and Virgin Gorda (the fat virgin) in particular. A villa will give us some privacy and autonomy, our own pool and a saving over a hotel and might even mean that we can invite a couple of friends to join us. I miss taking a bunch of people to a sunny paradise island for the weekend.
To that end I'm also looking at Necker. 26 of us could take over an entire island for about US$1000 each. Staff ratio is 1:1, we'd have our meals cooked, our own boat and helicopter transfers to wherever we want. But do I have 26 friends? I guess when it's a cheap private island jaunt on the line I could find them.
Anyway the question - do I say 'screw it' and book for August or do I play sensible and wait and see how the chemo goes before doing anything? Decisions.
An aside... whatever I do, I won't be getting travel insurance. Cancer ridden chemo patients booking months in advance are a pretty high risk of no show apparently - who'd have thought?
Chemo should be finished in May. It's then quite likely that I'll do radiotherapy too. That could be anything from 6 to 12 weeks. Of course there's then a 50% chance that I'll be in full remisssion (can't clam 'cured' for 5 years as 80% of people relapse). If the flip of the coin doesn't go my way we start to look at weird and wonderful new treatments - like stem cell transplantation - which can take another couple of months (locked in a room)
All of this needs to be balanced with the fact that it's been a tough year, it's sub zero outside, Jude's been working 100 hr weeks and we're running on fumes. We need a break - and I think that we'll take one at the beginning of August.
The brief - warm, clean, close and absolutely no cruise ships. Having stayed in Nassau I have come to detest both the floating pollution chambers that are the ships themselves and the badge wearing locusts that disembark from them - devouring all tourist tat in their wake and believing that a country's culture can be found within a half mile of its Duty Free shops. These are the people who take their homes with them and believe that they've travelled the world; and they fill me with more hate and resentment than is healthy for a man who owns as many Buddhist books as I.
So we've discounted St. Martins and all of the US Virgin Islands and are now looking at the British Virgin Islands generally and Virgin Gorda (the fat virgin) in particular. A villa will give us some privacy and autonomy, our own pool and a saving over a hotel and might even mean that we can invite a couple of friends to join us. I miss taking a bunch of people to a sunny paradise island for the weekend.
To that end I'm also looking at Necker. 26 of us could take over an entire island for about US$1000 each. Staff ratio is 1:1, we'd have our meals cooked, our own boat and helicopter transfers to wherever we want. But do I have 26 friends? I guess when it's a cheap private island jaunt on the line I could find them.
Anyway the question - do I say 'screw it' and book for August or do I play sensible and wait and see how the chemo goes before doing anything? Decisions.
An aside... whatever I do, I won't be getting travel insurance. Cancer ridden chemo patients booking months in advance are a pretty high risk of no show apparently - who'd have thought?
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Fiddler on the roof
It’s been a while since I posted anything on here. The reason? I’ve been feeling crappy. I’m not sure whether I caught Jude’s stomach flu or whether Chemo II (the revenge) wrought some revenge for the ease of Chemo I but it’s been a couple of days of nausea, knackeredness and the weak sipping of yoghurt based beverages.
Still all now seems fine as I sail I into the coldest weekend of the year bright eyed, bushy tailed and ready for the Barney’s Warehouse sale. Of course I still have clothes from 2 years ago that are still too tight for me – trousers that create the dreaded ‘muffin top’ effect around my hips but I’m telling myself that I’ve lost SOME weight and that new clothes and good health are conceptual bedfellows.
My ability to spend of course has been hampered somewhat by the medical bills that come in daily – another $700 demanded for some random treatment yesterday – and the fear of what my co-pay per chemo session will be (I still haven’t seen a bill). I’m reckoning that I have to be close to my deductibles (the amount I have to pay before insurance kicks in) but that’s complicated by treatments that started in December. You see deductibles run the calendar year – so I have $2000 for 2005 and $2000 for 2006. What this means is that I end up paying $4000 for treatment rather than the $2k it would have cost had I gotten sick in say Feb and had all of the hospital care in a single calendar year.
Handy hint – get sick at the start of the year
Mind I find that I’m spending less on treatment than I used to on lunch. I’d easily go through $25 dollars a day when I was at work each day – on lunch, the Starbuck’s run and then a supposedly healthful smoothie; and when I needed company for lunch you could double that. So I’m saving about $200 a week on food and coffee alone.
Enough though about the US medical system, things here are good.
I’m not coughing, the stairs are no problems anymore, the dog is looking better exercised, I have a fresh perspective on work, a clear perspective on what needs to be done there and I’ve discovered that our friends here are very cool people. What more can you need?
Still all now seems fine as I sail I into the coldest weekend of the year bright eyed, bushy tailed and ready for the Barney’s Warehouse sale. Of course I still have clothes from 2 years ago that are still too tight for me – trousers that create the dreaded ‘muffin top’ effect around my hips but I’m telling myself that I’ve lost SOME weight and that new clothes and good health are conceptual bedfellows.
My ability to spend of course has been hampered somewhat by the medical bills that come in daily – another $700 demanded for some random treatment yesterday – and the fear of what my co-pay per chemo session will be (I still haven’t seen a bill). I’m reckoning that I have to be close to my deductibles (the amount I have to pay before insurance kicks in) but that’s complicated by treatments that started in December. You see deductibles run the calendar year – so I have $2000 for 2005 and $2000 for 2006. What this means is that I end up paying $4000 for treatment rather than the $2k it would have cost had I gotten sick in say Feb and had all of the hospital care in a single calendar year.
Handy hint – get sick at the start of the year
Mind I find that I’m spending less on treatment than I used to on lunch. I’d easily go through $25 dollars a day when I was at work each day – on lunch, the Starbuck’s run and then a supposedly healthful smoothie; and when I needed company for lunch you could double that. So I’m saving about $200 a week on food and coffee alone.
Enough though about the US medical system, things here are good.
I’m not coughing, the stairs are no problems anymore, the dog is looking better exercised, I have a fresh perspective on work, a clear perspective on what needs to be done there and I’ve discovered that our friends here are very cool people. What more can you need?
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Ah - that's better
So after a couple of days during which I felt as though I was being routinely tortured by an invisible hand inside my guts I woke up this morning with a passing fancy for a banana. And some toast. And a cup of tea.
The sense of smell is no longer turned up to 'bloodhound' either; which is a blessed relief as EVERYTHING made me feel like throwing up - from the smell of coffee through to the shampoo they used on the dog.
It's a good feeling.. sitting here, tea in hand, dog at feet, nausea pills in cabinet... so good I may even sing a little... la-la-laaahhhh
Yup - that good
The sense of smell is no longer turned up to 'bloodhound' either; which is a blessed relief as EVERYTHING made me feel like throwing up - from the smell of coffee through to the shampoo they used on the dog.
It's a good feeling.. sitting here, tea in hand, dog at feet, nausea pills in cabinet... so good I may even sing a little... la-la-laaahhhh
Yup - that good
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Bleurgh
Not a great day today - spent 99% of the time feeling like I was going to vomit and 1% of the time vomitting.
Will check in with the hospital tomorrow re. meds that I should be taking but it's not been fun
Let's see what tomorrow brings
Will check in with the hospital tomorrow re. meds that I should be taking but it's not been fun
Let's see what tomorrow brings
Sunday, February 12, 2006
A quickie
Chemo II (the revenge) went very well. Of course the 'red stuff' made me throw up my cookies again but I was expecting it this time. Other than that all was smooth - took 6 hrs instead of the 10 and a half the first time and no real side effects yet. In fact not nuch of anything yet - yes I feel slightly queasy, yes I'm burping and belching for England (a disgusting thing to be doing) but more of a worry than anything right now is the snow that's falling at a rapid rate outside. We're looking at 18 inches by the end of the day.
Why is snow a worry? Well I love TiVo - it's a great system that manages to record every show I love and introduce me to some I didn't know I loved. There are other systems but none are as easy to use or as intuitive. Of course TiVo is only available on Satellite - so whilst the rest of the building gets their TV from underground cable I'm reliant on the satellite dish on the roof - and that dish can get buried in snow. Leaving me with no TV - on a Sunday. The day of America's Funniest Home Videos, Desperate Housewives, The L Word and best of all the finale of the Gray's Anatomy bomb in a man's chest cliffhanger.
So keep your fingers, toes, arms and legs crossed as we pray for clearer skies here
Why is snow a worry? Well I love TiVo - it's a great system that manages to record every show I love and introduce me to some I didn't know I loved. There are other systems but none are as easy to use or as intuitive. Of course TiVo is only available on Satellite - so whilst the rest of the building gets their TV from underground cable I'm reliant on the satellite dish on the roof - and that dish can get buried in snow. Leaving me with no TV - on a Sunday. The day of America's Funniest Home Videos, Desperate Housewives, The L Word and best of all the finale of the Gray's Anatomy bomb in a man's chest cliffhanger.
So keep your fingers, toes, arms and legs crossed as we pray for clearer skies here
Thursday, February 09, 2006
More chemo tomorrow
More chemo tomorrow - and a new nurse alas.
Still everyone I've met to date has been both efficient and empathetic; rare qualities indeed.
Have a final check in with Dr Hermann - the man who did my biopsy (for a mere $37,000) today. Hoping to get a final all clear from him, if only because it's finally cold here (-4C outside) and I don't fancy doing the trek out there again.
Short entry this one.
Nick went home on Project Runway yesterday - Daniel looked alarmingly blase throughout, midget asian woman was dressed up like a filipino mamasan, South African bird did another outfit that looked like 'last year at Gap' whilst Santino skated on ever thinner ice with a glued on jump suit that lost a sleeve on the runway.
Still everyone I've met to date has been both efficient and empathetic; rare qualities indeed.
Have a final check in with Dr Hermann - the man who did my biopsy (for a mere $37,000) today. Hoping to get a final all clear from him, if only because it's finally cold here (-4C outside) and I don't fancy doing the trek out there again.
Short entry this one.
Nick went home on Project Runway yesterday - Daniel looked alarmingly blase throughout, midget asian woman was dressed up like a filipino mamasan, South African bird did another outfit that looked like 'last year at Gap' whilst Santino skated on ever thinner ice with a glued on jump suit that lost a sleeve on the runway.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Superbowl ads
Had some students over from the UK on Friday.
I set them a 'superbowl ad' assignment and had them come back in this morning - and boy were they disappointed.
For those of you who don't know - the Superbowl is the biggest advertising bonanza in the US. A sport game during which 1 minute of airtime costs $5m dollars. Accordingly marketing dicks are pumped, inflated and waved during the game. It's 4 hours during which America gives a damn about advertising and it's always a let down.
Superbowl extra large (40 - XL, geddit?) was a HUGE flop.
We had a diet Pepsi can using a Diet Coke can as a stunt double (the diet coke can gets crushed, haw!);
We had a Toyota ad so sickening I went looking for my left over Kytril
KID daddy why do you drive a hybrid
DAD for the future, it uses two types of energy
KID like you with Spanish and English?
DAD yes
KID then why did you learn English?
DAD (smug look into rear view mirror) FOR YOUR future
We had P.Diddy, we had Jessica Simpson, we had Jay Mohr, we had Leonard Nimoy, we had Fabio(!)
We had an avalanche of C list celebrity and D rate 'humor'
We had Dove campaigning for real beauty by begging us to send money to ugly kids (or a 'self esteem' fund)
We had Pepsi (again) informing us that it's brown and bubbly.
We had Kermit whoring it for Ford (he's green, so is the hybrid)
We had an end of the pier with the Nolans and Dooby Duck type dancing 'spectacular' for Burget King - the woman dressed as a meat pattie drew the shittiest stick in a poo-ey pile)
We had men being stupid for Bud Light, women being busty for whateverthehell.com
We had Clydesdales (big horses) for Bud (hurrah!) and a pretty good sheared sheep as streaker gag
Worst of all the world's best agency ripped off JWT Thailand for a Hummer spot, knowingly or not
An total and utter waste of time, I told people at the office that my Grant Mitchell meets an un-touped Liberache look was the result of my having torn out my hair in frustration at the sheer waste of it all - and they believed me.
Thank god for Pizza Hut - pricking at Jessica Simpson's pomposity with a shot for shot remake of her 'this pizza with 26 additional cheese pockets is made for swallowing' (I kid you not) ad - starring Ms Piggy! Yes, Ms Piggy.
Maybe there's hope yet
I set them a 'superbowl ad' assignment and had them come back in this morning - and boy were they disappointed.
For those of you who don't know - the Superbowl is the biggest advertising bonanza in the US. A sport game during which 1 minute of airtime costs $5m dollars. Accordingly marketing dicks are pumped, inflated and waved during the game. It's 4 hours during which America gives a damn about advertising and it's always a let down.
Superbowl extra large (40 - XL, geddit?) was a HUGE flop.
We had a diet Pepsi can using a Diet Coke can as a stunt double (the diet coke can gets crushed, haw!);
We had a Toyota ad so sickening I went looking for my left over Kytril
KID daddy why do you drive a hybrid
DAD for the future, it uses two types of energy
KID like you with Spanish and English?
DAD yes
KID then why did you learn English?
DAD (smug look into rear view mirror) FOR YOUR future
We had P.Diddy, we had Jessica Simpson, we had Jay Mohr, we had Leonard Nimoy, we had Fabio(!)
We had an avalanche of C list celebrity and D rate 'humor'
We had Dove campaigning for real beauty by begging us to send money to ugly kids (or a 'self esteem' fund)
We had Pepsi (again) informing us that it's brown and bubbly.
We had Kermit whoring it for Ford (he's green, so is the hybrid)
We had an end of the pier with the Nolans and Dooby Duck type dancing 'spectacular' for Burget King - the woman dressed as a meat pattie drew the shittiest stick in a poo-ey pile)
We had men being stupid for Bud Light, women being busty for whateverthehell.com
We had Clydesdales (big horses) for Bud (hurrah!) and a pretty good sheared sheep as streaker gag
Worst of all the world's best agency ripped off JWT Thailand for a Hummer spot, knowingly or not
An total and utter waste of time, I told people at the office that my Grant Mitchell meets an un-touped Liberache look was the result of my having torn out my hair in frustration at the sheer waste of it all - and they believed me.
Thank god for Pizza Hut - pricking at Jessica Simpson's pomposity with a shot for shot remake of her 'this pizza with 26 additional cheese pockets is made for swallowing' (I kid you not) ad - starring Ms Piggy! Yes, Ms Piggy.
Maybe there's hope yet
Sunday, February 05, 2006
This is me
'30 minutes of frenzied 'Jude with a razor' action later... mess with me not face optional
This was me
This was me at 10am - scalp itching, hair falling out faster than Leena Zavoroni's during a trip to Chernobyl
Hairless
Woke up yesterday morning with what felt like a sunburnt head. Touch it and 'youch'. Most odd, thought I, my head seems to be on fire and my pillow seems to resemble Captain Caveman (or perhaps Fatima Whitbred) - how can this be?
It turns out of course that the doctors were right, that it takes about two weeks for your hair to start falling out and that I am going to be bald here.
In truth the hair loss is quite comforting. I've felt so well during all of this that you do start to secretly suspect that perhaps you're uniquely immune to the drugs, or part of a placebo study or something similar. Evidence that this stuff is doing what it's supposed to do is very welcome - and the prospect of getting to shave my head is making Judith monsterously excited.
That's about it. After doing full days at work Thurs / Friday plus a couple of decent walks and stuff with the dog yesterday was a write off - an 18 hrs of sleep day. Much brighter this morning however and ready to take on the world
It turns out of course that the doctors were right, that it takes about two weeks for your hair to start falling out and that I am going to be bald here.
In truth the hair loss is quite comforting. I've felt so well during all of this that you do start to secretly suspect that perhaps you're uniquely immune to the drugs, or part of a placebo study or something similar. Evidence that this stuff is doing what it's supposed to do is very welcome - and the prospect of getting to shave my head is making Judith monsterously excited.
That's about it. After doing full days at work Thurs / Friday plus a couple of decent walks and stuff with the dog yesterday was a write off - an 18 hrs of sleep day. Much brighter this morning however and ready to take on the world
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Crash
Watched 'Crash' on DVD yesterday. I''d seen it in the theatre, but Jude hadn't and so we ploughed our way through just under two hours of inhumanity, despair and general teeth grinding. It's all very well done of course, even Sandra Bullock manages to avoid any obvious pratfalls (didn't YOU expect her to play her fall down stairs for a cheap physical laugh?) but the whole thing ended up leaving me cold.
In fact my one take away thought was that the puppets of Avenue Q managed to get across pretty much the same message, in a fraction of the time and a much more entertaining way with their song 'Everyone's a little bit racist'
Maybe I am horribly shallow. Maybe I'm sociopathic. But I just can't find it in my heart to feel very much during movies that ought to be affecting. Brokeback Mountain, ho-hum. Love Story, whatever. Titanic, is it over yet?
Of course when they turn this Blog into a major motion picture Dakota will capture all of this - capturing both my Mercahnt-Ivory British reserve and madame Tussards like waxiness.
Ok, ok... cancer.
When my doctor first told me I had cancer I wanted to ask (regarding survival chances) - is it worth my starting to watch the new season of American Idol (the season lasts about 4 months)... I didn't ask but January is here and I am watching, almost despite myself.
Of course Idol has nothing on TV's best show 'Project Runway' - in which fashion designers compete in various challenges, one being eliminated each week. To date this season has brought us the classic lines
"Where the HELL is my chiffon?"
and
"Oh my God, it's a mother-f*king walk-off"
Last night the task was to make runway ready dresses using $100 worth of flowers. The remaining contestants (four gay men, one of whom is about 7 ft tall and balding fast, a chinese midget and a South African bird with no fashion sense and a surplus of testosterone) sewed up a frenzy before sending some very uncomfortable models down the runway. Michael Kors managed to comment
'It looks like the kind of dress that the town slut would wear to prom, if her mother was a bad home sew-er"
Ah, it's good to be alive.
In fact my one take away thought was that the puppets of Avenue Q managed to get across pretty much the same message, in a fraction of the time and a much more entertaining way with their song 'Everyone's a little bit racist'
Maybe I am horribly shallow. Maybe I'm sociopathic. But I just can't find it in my heart to feel very much during movies that ought to be affecting. Brokeback Mountain, ho-hum. Love Story, whatever. Titanic, is it over yet?
Of course when they turn this Blog into a major motion picture Dakota will capture all of this - capturing both my Mercahnt-Ivory British reserve and madame Tussards like waxiness.
Ok, ok... cancer.
When my doctor first told me I had cancer I wanted to ask (regarding survival chances) - is it worth my starting to watch the new season of American Idol (the season lasts about 4 months)... I didn't ask but January is here and I am watching, almost despite myself.
Of course Idol has nothing on TV's best show 'Project Runway' - in which fashion designers compete in various challenges, one being eliminated each week. To date this season has brought us the classic lines
"Where the HELL is my chiffon?"
and
"Oh my God, it's a mother-f*king walk-off"
Last night the task was to make runway ready dresses using $100 worth of flowers. The remaining contestants (four gay men, one of whom is about 7 ft tall and balding fast, a chinese midget and a South African bird with no fashion sense and a surplus of testosterone) sewed up a frenzy before sending some very uncomfortable models down the runway. Michael Kors managed to comment
'It looks like the kind of dress that the town slut would wear to prom, if her mother was a bad home sew-er"
Ah, it's good to be alive.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Alles Gut
Went to have my blood work done yesterday.
Fast appointment - and all is good.
White cells, red cells platelettes - all where they should be.
Next five treatments should be easier, though first wasn't really hard and I do expect a backlash at some point - karma baby
But seems that I'm doing pretty darned well
Hurrah!
Steve
Fast appointment - and all is good.
White cells, red cells platelettes - all where they should be.
Next five treatments should be easier, though first wasn't really hard and I do expect a backlash at some point - karma baby
But seems that I'm doing pretty darned well
Hurrah!
Steve
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
It moves
So after a weekend spent clutching my back and making vague moaning sounds I started the week free of back pain and devoid of energy. Slept about 14 hrs yesterday - and spent the rest trying not to fall asleep. Weird.
This morning however I feel much better. The dog has been walked, the repair people hassled and I'm ready to hit the shower before hitting the hospital... it's my 10 (well eleven, scheduling issues) day check up - the day where everything should be at its lowest - white cells, red cells, platelettes.
Anyway good to be back in the land of the living.
This morning however I feel much better. The dog has been walked, the repair people hassled and I'm ready to hit the shower before hitting the hospital... it's my 10 (well eleven, scheduling issues) day check up - the day where everything should be at its lowest - white cells, red cells, platelettes.
Anyway good to be back in the land of the living.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
'arold!
No coughing today - which is miraculous.
Managed to get out and about quite a bit and to move with phlegmatic impunity until the early afternoon when my back started to ache like a rotten tooth in a Robin Williams movie. It's agony and my immediately turning into Albert Steptoe has done nothing to help matters.
Other stuff.
Bought a vacuum cleaner with a 7 year warranty - there's optimism! - it's Italian - there's more
Started to resent unfit looking smokers - bastards, who gave you the good genes?
My brother announced / admitted that he's about to become a dad - in 7 weeks. It's a girl
Walked through the Polish part of town - marvelling at how only in NYC can you go from hip to hip replacement in 3 blocks
Fell in love with Newborns at Ralph Lauren - making me the gayest straight man in the world (but c'mon cashmeer kimonos)
Took a pic in which I looked terrible - then posted it anyway in a 'see I AM sick' statement
Managed to get out and about quite a bit and to move with phlegmatic impunity until the early afternoon when my back started to ache like a rotten tooth in a Robin Williams movie. It's agony and my immediately turning into Albert Steptoe has done nothing to help matters.
Other stuff.
Bought a vacuum cleaner with a 7 year warranty - there's optimism! - it's Italian - there's more
Started to resent unfit looking smokers - bastards, who gave you the good genes?
My brother announced / admitted that he's about to become a dad - in 7 weeks. It's a girl
Walked through the Polish part of town - marvelling at how only in NYC can you go from hip to hip replacement in 3 blocks
Fell in love with Newborns at Ralph Lauren - making me the gayest straight man in the world (but c'mon cashmeer kimonos)
Took a pic in which I looked terrible - then posted it anyway in a 'see I AM sick' statement
Friday, January 27, 2006
Geo-targeted
If you talk to Matthew George - a very nice, bright man who I maintain is proof that John Denver and Kermit got very friendly during the making of the Muppet's Xmas album - he'll tell you all about Geo-targeting.
The idea is that media is getting smarter... that when people know what you're watching, or reading they'll now what ads to show you. In a geo-targeted world you'd get an ad for Kleenex just as they were telling you that you're favorite aunt had swallowed that ring you'd always wanted just before she died.
It's a simple idea. You get targeted with ads just at the right moment. The Internet should be great at this, but isn't. It will be.
Of course there are better ways to Geo-target. I've never understood why Kleenex for example haven't published the 100 greatest tear-jerkers as a range, inserting a tissue during every 'weepy' passage. The 'jerkers' idea could be extended too - I'd love to see the '100 sexiest' with tissues inserted for entirely different fluids too.
But I digress.
The people at the hospital told me that my biggest enemy would be constipation. Really? thought I before being regaled with stories of liver toxicity and all manner of things what could block me up bad. I was handed revolting drugs. Generic stool softeners, spasm inducing laxatives - and like a fool I took them.
Yesterday therefore was a just stomach spasm after stomach spasm. It was nasty, lots of bending double and cursing of the people who make 'senna X' or whatever.
And of course every spasm triggered the same ad' - a librarian suddenly doubles over with pain, her book trolley shoots off at comedic speed, it hits a bookcase, a domino effect is seen, library crashes down, 'bad day' is had, 'none spasm inducing laxatives' are recommended as a solution to both spasms and the decaying library system.
Damn if I'd only taken 'Senna XY'
If this is the future you can keep it - Tom Cruise's Minority Report future seemed sexier than this, but it's all the same.
Really, I don't want to be targeted, I want to watch Grey's Anatomy.
Is that too much to ask?
The idea is that media is getting smarter... that when people know what you're watching, or reading they'll now what ads to show you. In a geo-targeted world you'd get an ad for Kleenex just as they were telling you that you're favorite aunt had swallowed that ring you'd always wanted just before she died.
It's a simple idea. You get targeted with ads just at the right moment. The Internet should be great at this, but isn't. It will be.
Of course there are better ways to Geo-target. I've never understood why Kleenex for example haven't published the 100 greatest tear-jerkers as a range, inserting a tissue during every 'weepy' passage. The 'jerkers' idea could be extended too - I'd love to see the '100 sexiest' with tissues inserted for entirely different fluids too.
But I digress.
The people at the hospital told me that my biggest enemy would be constipation. Really? thought I before being regaled with stories of liver toxicity and all manner of things what could block me up bad. I was handed revolting drugs. Generic stool softeners, spasm inducing laxatives - and like a fool I took them.
Yesterday therefore was a just stomach spasm after stomach spasm. It was nasty, lots of bending double and cursing of the people who make 'senna X' or whatever.
And of course every spasm triggered the same ad' - a librarian suddenly doubles over with pain, her book trolley shoots off at comedic speed, it hits a bookcase, a domino effect is seen, library crashes down, 'bad day' is had, 'none spasm inducing laxatives' are recommended as a solution to both spasms and the decaying library system.
Damn if I'd only taken 'Senna XY'
If this is the future you can keep it - Tom Cruise's Minority Report future seemed sexier than this, but it's all the same.
Really, I don't want to be targeted, I want to watch Grey's Anatomy.
Is that too much to ask?
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
First day wothout drugs
Day whatever past first treatment and no drugs at all. Wah-hey.
Mind yesterday may have been a drug infused hallucination... a dog with its head stuck at the dog run, men with crow-bars, Japanese women buying jeans from what looked like someone's living room, a small dog that appeared in ours and 'the hulk's sister' on American Idol.. all just a little stranger than usual.
That said I'm drug free and ready for work - let's see how this day plays out
Steve
Mind yesterday may have been a drug infused hallucination... a dog with its head stuck at the dog run, men with crow-bars, Japanese women buying jeans from what looked like someone's living room, a small dog that appeared in ours and 'the hulk's sister' on American Idol.. all just a little stranger than usual.
That said I'm drug free and ready for work - let's see how this day plays out
Steve
Monday, January 23, 2006
A tale of three coughs
Chemo +3 today and I'm up early and ready to head in and get my white blood cell boosting shot of 'as seen on TV' Neurestra (?)
Last three days have been the tale of three coughs. Saturday my tight cough of 4 months became a deep, chesty. booming thing that had me coughing up old wounds, bits of body and (for an hour over brunch) rather a lot of blood.
Day two was less bellowing - but no return to the love lorn seal bark of yore. Lots of nasty thick phlegm yesterday.
And today, much better. What a restaurant might describe as a 'stunningly light cappucino foam' - certainly the lighest cough (and the lightest 'product' of that cough) in months and months.
Of course by way of recompense (the universe demands payment after all) I woke up singing the Boyzone version of the Cat Stevens song 'Father and Son' - at 7am!
Not the most pleasant of posts I admit - but feeling sparkly good here today, let's see how long I can keep this going
Last three days have been the tale of three coughs. Saturday my tight cough of 4 months became a deep, chesty. booming thing that had me coughing up old wounds, bits of body and (for an hour over brunch) rather a lot of blood.
Day two was less bellowing - but no return to the love lorn seal bark of yore. Lots of nasty thick phlegm yesterday.
And today, much better. What a restaurant might describe as a 'stunningly light cappucino foam' - certainly the lighest cough (and the lightest 'product' of that cough) in months and months.
Of course by way of recompense (the universe demands payment after all) I woke up singing the Boyzone version of the Cat Stevens song 'Father and Son' - at 7am!
Not the most pleasant of posts I admit - but feeling sparkly good here today, let's see how long I can keep this going
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