Buzzzzz required

Originally uploaded by daniel doug

I'm feeling dull
And flabby
And as though I've settled

Life in A2 is pleasant
It's nice
There are things to do
And people I like

But I miss the electric buzz of the New York City
The pent up sexuality of Singapore
The endless alleys to explore in Thailand

I'm feeling as though experience is being sucked out of me
And that there's very little being soaked up

And being dry is my biggest fear

I want to do 'new'
Try 'new'

To be afraid
To be nervous
To be energized

I want to feel naive
Unworldly

I want to not understand

I want unease
And uncertainty
And experimentation

In a controlled way

I want it as a possibility
Not as a certainty

As an option

Which makes me greedy

But also means I have a criteria for what's next.

I'm excited for the next move.
Impatient for it.
But I'm hanging in.
And I'm doing okay.

Which is why I came here
And why, for now, A2 is enough.

But I can hear the clock ticking
And my 'feed me' drive spooling up.