Monday, June 09, 2008

A realization

I realized today - well just a couple of minutes ago while filling in the "Please don't sue us" gym forms - that this morning I didn't mention cancer at all.

This is unusual. Cancer has been my excuse and a defining part of my history for a while now. The 'getting back into exercise post cancer' story has been so often repeated that I've started to believe that it was true. The truth is that I gave up on meaningful exercise after I left Australia, replacing it with bile and indifference. But 'Hi, I'm here to get back into shape post chemo' (always post chemo never post cancer) is an easier intro than 'hi, I'm a middle aged guy who's decided that he doesn't want to look like a middle aged guy' and yet without thought I took the second option.

It's weird not playing the role of 'recovering cancer patient (victim)' and for the first time in a long time it feels as though I'm doing something for myself and the future, rather than something to help mitigate the consequences of the past.

This whole kick is about being fitter, okay looking better, in the months to come. And nothing at all to do with the fact that at some point my body filled with tumors and my lungs with liquid.

A turning point after two years of treading water?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

When are you coming to the city again? KungFu Panda!!!!!