Halloween

last night seemed to be an excuse for girls who usually feel the need to be good to dress up and drink and use both as an excuse not to be.

this morning the girls in the coffee shop were incredibly hung over... amusingly so.

which reminded me of this failed attempt at self portraiture... trying to do 'tense, nervous headache'

ended up doing blurred, bat-winged, bingo caller

Feeling casual today

P1080951.JPG
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

So after a couple of days where I lost my sense of 'all is well with the world, offer things up to the universe and see where they settle' I'm back in a zen zone.

Work will happen with of without me. With me it will happen smoother and be a little better. Without me the ride may be more jarring and the end less shiny - but I've realized that what I am here is lubricant. And sure lube is important (ask any mechanic, or hooker) but ultimately you can run any planner through the grinder and grease the process with the resulting juices.

So that's my role here. To be juicier than the average planner... and last longer before I'm totally dry --- at which point they'll give me an office to make sure that the dust doesn't contaminate the fresh new fodder

I just booked

Inverted Vertigo
Originally uploaded by DanielKHC

I just booked

1. Scans at the hospital in New York for Nov 12 and 13

2. A ticket to Singapore for November 22nd - November 29th

Hurrah (and ouch!)

If I was Barack Obama

a million quid
Originally uploaded by just_john

If I was Barack Obama right now I'd not be taking interviews, not varying from my stump speech and not doing anything that could be seen as being a pre-emptive celebration of victory (remember Kinnock and the Labour party?)

He's ahead - there are six days to the election - and still he's making big, bold, KLF burning a million quid style gestures.

Last night saw him buying 30 minutes of airtime across 7 networks; 30 minutes! Sure it gave him the time to talk to the American people that the debates didn't allow. But to some it came across more as a display of "Look how much money we have" rather than a last chance for a more nuanced look at a new candidate.

McCain's response "He paid for that ad by breaking a promise" (the promise being to take public finance for his campaign - one that he broke as soon as he saw how much he could make privately)

It seems to me an unneccessarily big gesture. At a time when people are looking for excuses to knock big gestures. And when the conversation is about the media that was bought, rather than what was said in that media you know that something is wrong.

This made me smile for some reason

CSI: MIAMI
Originally uploaded by mercuryrising9572000

An Austrian woman accused of stalking "CSI: Miami" star David Caruso is being sought on an international arrest warrant, and officials said Tuesday she could be hiding in Mexico.

The woman allegedly sent more than 100 letters to the American actor, pursued him for an autograph and then sent death threats when he refused to "give her one" according to prosecutors in the Austrian province of Tyrol.

The woman -- identified only as being in her early 40s -- was charged with stalking and threatening to kill Caruso, but failed to show for her trial in July 2007 and again in April, Innsbruck Provincial Court spokesman Thomas Lechner said.

Judge Guenther Boehler has issued an international warrant for her arrest.

Austrian authorities said a 2007 letter allegedly written by the suspect and bearing a Miami postmark was discovered in Caruso's fan mail. It read, in part: "I will locate you and your ugly Latina tramp and kill you."

It is unclear if the Latina reference alluded to actress Alana De La Garza, who played Caruso's wife on the TV show until her character was killed.

A court-appointed psychiatrist testified that the suspect has a "profound personality disorder." If convicted, she faces up to three years in prison.

Take a deep breath

So - as I'm sure I've said here "The Naked Uganda Project" has been postponed due to the success of Jude's many job applications and academia's inability to give you reasonable lead times for interviews. December just isn't 'do-able' so we thought that we'd try to head out in March instead... we'll be 54 months into Winter by then and ready for the break.

But the aim of The Naked Uganda Project was to whip my ass into shape - or post my failure for all to see. The pics of me in Cyprus were shocking. I was flabby, I was soft and looking at the picture I was ashamed. So when we got back I vowed to hit the gym, watch what I eat, cut down to no more than a glass of wine a night (vs. 'well the bottle is almost empty now') and generally take more care of myself.

The bag has been mixed. The exercise wagon is something that I'm enjoying. The food wagon I fall off when people come to visit. So things are going slowly - but they're going - and that's a good thing.

To mark progress I've been taking a picture a week. From the same spot and in the same mirror. Vanity it is not - the pictures are ugly but serve as reminders of both how far I've come and how much further I have to go.

The stats are that I'm about 7lbs down, that I've taken four inches off my waist, added 1.5 inches to my arms and no longer have the knees of an elderly dowager.

So it's time to swallow hard and post the first picture. Not as a 'done' (this is far from being an 'after' pic... but as a public statement that the delay of the trip cannot now mean a dilution of effort. I'm gonna post a pic a month from here on out and I'm asking you - faithful blog reader and random person coming in look for post-op tranny news - to keep me honest. This is more than neighborhood watch. It's flab-watch. Less pleasant I agree, but then you're supposed to be my friends.

To Hell and back

P1080807.JPG
Originally uploaded by stevenjude

Hell, Michigan is a very small place. It's barely a place at all. More a couple of stores that banded together and asked "How do we attract people to the shores of out little lake here?"

The answer "Hell"

"Go to Hell"
"I've been to Hell and back today"
"I've seen Hell freeze over"

All things that you can say having visited, realized that it's crap and bought a mug to console yourself.

By all accounts bikers love it

"Let's meet in Hell"

But I have to say - once in Hell was enough for me

Homeless

صبح بخير زند گي/Subuh Bakhair Zindagi
Originally uploaded by *abro*

Just got a note from our landlord saying that despite the crashing housing market and slumping economy he's thinking about selling the apartment that we live in.

This is very bad news. For us anyway. Mainly because we're looking to leave Ann Arbor in about 8 months. And 8 month leases anywhere are really hard to come by. Especially if you have a dog. And cats. Plus it's about $1500 to move all of our stuff. And more hassle than you can think.

Yesterday's "I'm so zen" mood has been replaced by a "holy Ker-jezuz wha-now?" mood

Still possession is 9/10th of the law,,,,

Do Squatters have legal protection in Michigan?

Whatever happened to the good old days

Ford Capri 2.8 Injection Special @ Duchy Capri Club Classic Car Show 2006
Originally uploaded by Tristan P Barratt

I've spent much of the day today thinking about the best way to position cars.

In days of old I'd have spent my time thinking about the best way to position bikini clad models on the hood of the cars.

That's how much times have changed. You still get models at autoshows - but now they're Spokesmodels... given a microphone and talking points from which they cannot stray (a lot like Sarah Palin)

The future, of course, is to employ drop dead gorgeous engineers. Those guys (and gals of course) really know their stuff. The only issue is the fact that they're about as attractive and intriguing as Joe Everyman --- and nobody stands in line to hear people who know what they're talking about waffle on for hours (a lot like Joe Biden)

Looking at the pic above - it's a shame that Ford dropped the Capri in Europe. It was bonkers. It was also the first car (at age 3) that I ever envied someone for owning. Massive (by UK standards) engine, big (by the rules of the time) performance and cops n robbers street cred. What more could you want.

I blame the Capri for the fact that I now own a Mustang rather than the Pious that everyone else in Ann Arbor seems to love so.

Oh to

Brrrrrrr

Somebody just turned the heat off outside.
Yesterday morning it was minus 3c
This morning isn't much warmer
And there's snow forecast for halloween
Which is when Jude's mom is flying in (cue "On her broomstick?" jokes)
Did I really sign up for this?

At dinner tonight

Originally uploaded by Any Syler

we were talking about American spelling.

Two theories that I liked

First Webster's name was Miriam - and she hand embroidered the first dictionary, dropping vowels as a way to save time and her eyesight.

The second was that the American's traded the letter 'U' for the statue f liberty. Basically they amassed a large "U mountain" somewhere in Nevada which they then gave to the French (a nation way over quota on use of the letter) in return for a sturdy torch carrier of unusual height.

It was that kind of dinner.

My Etch A Sketch client presented his Urinal ad "Wouldn't you rather be playing with your Etch A Sketch?"

My boss told stories of the Ohio militia

And I tried to explain just why I'd spent two hours this morning stuffing small pictures into balloons (twas a pop the balloon, have an idea exercise)

Good day then

resume in progress

resume in progress
Originally uploaded by Robotconscience

I'm trying to dust off my resume...

... and to make it interesting

That's interesting in a way that has some depth and integrity - rather than in a way that's all "flash and gash" (to quote my latest meeting 'he's gone too far' faux pas)

In the past I've done... 'things I most regret', 'ideas I wish I'd sold', 'Ideas that made the most money', 'Ideas I've had that you've probably heard of' and 'what I'd do with everything'

Truth is I'm pretty good at what I do.
I'm really good given a room and a brief
I do speeches really well
I'm fearless without being overly reckless
I get cultural diversity
I tend to view most things through a different lens
I'm generous with praise in success and selfish with blame in failure
And I know my way around numbers

but

I dress poorly
I can get bored if a process takes 'too long'
I have less time than you sometimes need for the slowest person in the room
I'm too quick to grab the reigns
I can be high energy and low gravitas on my bad days

I think that that balances positive.

Clients like me
Agencies like what I represent
I tend not to lose pieces of business
I have a great new business record
And I've never lost a member of my staff

But how do you turn that into a resume

Mixed bag

So the market sucked - all bad leather and poor quality novelties
Ferndale had shrunk to 3 interesting stores
Royal Oak was better - a small strip of cool stores manned by giant trannies
The Whitney was posh - food was good
We were late for Kathy Griffin (my fault) but she was gossipy and the theatre (pictured) was spectacular
Finally got back in time for the SNL Palin / Fey

Sub zero today.... brrrrr

A real Saturday

Looks like this weekend might be a real weekend.

We start tomorrow with the gym and then pilates (as ever) before heading out first to Ferndale and then to the newly minted Russell Bizarre. From there it's off to The Whitney for dinner before heading out to the Fox Theater for some comedy c/o Kathy Griffin. We finish the night with a quick cocktail at Cliff Bells - a 30s throwback speakeasy with an easy style that feels like the Detroit of old.

Looking forward to it

Seems that Joe The Plumer, ain't a plumber

Joe the Plumber's story just sprang a few leaks Thursday.

Turns out that the man who was held up by John McCain as the typical, hard-working American taxpayer

- Isn't really a licensed plumber.
- Owes nearly $1,200 in back taxes.
- Is called Samuel

Now Joe's in trouble

He doesn't have a plumber's license, but said he didn't need one because he works for someone else at a company that does residential work.

But it seems he'd still need to be a licensed apprentice or journeyman to work in Toledo, and he's not, said David Golis, manager and residential building official for the Toledo Division of Building Inspection.

And then there was the matter of his taxes.

Wurzelbacher owes the state of Ohio $1,182.98 in personal income tax, according to Lucas County Court of Common Pleas records.

In January 2007, Ohio's Department of Taxation filed a claim on his property until he pays the debt.

But he does seem to be a Republican at least - a registered Republican at that

He said he was "a fan of the military and McCain"

But that doesn't mean that he's prepared to be a McCain puppet/

Joe T. Plumber said a McCain campaign official contacted him several days before the debate to ask him to appear with the candidate at a Toledo rally but he's now unsure if he'll attend, since he's now scheduled to be in New York for TV interviews.

Final word (as ever) to Obama

"He's trying to suggest that a plumber is the guy he's fighting for. How many plumbers you know that are making a quarter-million dollars a year?"

This is "Joe the plumber"

This is Joe The Plumber.

Joe may well win the election for John McCain.

He was certainly the center of last night's debate.

You see McCain wants to cut Corporate income tax rates.
That means lots of money for big corporations, tiny savings for small business and nothing for workers.

Obama wants to cut taxes on income under $200,000
And to not raise tax on anyone making less that $250,000
That $250,000 limit applies to small business too.

Now the stats say that 98% of small businesses make less than $250,000
So 98% of small businesses would pay no more tax under Obama.

BUT

Joe the plumber is thinking of buying a business.
That business would make between $250,000 and $270,000 a year

That means he may, possibly, at worst pay an extra $20 a week in tax.

DISASTER

He looks ordinary.
He's going to be taxed more.
OBAMA IS A COMMUNIST

That's how it's going to play.
The 98% who pay no more - or get a reduction have no face
Joe Plumber has a face.

The families that will get tax savings are a mass, with no face
Joe Plumber has a sad face.

The fact that this is a guy who doesn't own a business.
A guy who says he 'might buy a business'
And the fact that that business is right on the cusp of a small increase in tax on a small part of its income
Combined with the fact that he emerged to talk to Obama a day before the debate
And was easily found afterwards.

Makes me think that Joe Plumber was a plant.

If he was then McCain deserves the election - it's brilliant politics.
If he wasn't then God must love John McCain - and he'll win anyway.

Things (I think) just took a turn towards the Red

When Penguins Attack

Penguin (Batman Returns)
Originally uploaded by _Villains

So he last debate tonight and it looks as though Penguin move-a-like John McCain really only has one option.

He needs to slander, to attack and to lie (Obama is a radical Muslim, his wife has a huge diseased cock, his children are in training to become suicide bombers and his mother isn't dead - she's giving Osama Bin Laden blowjobs in her Pakistani cave)

Then after the debate, when nobody is looking he needs to quietly apologize, claim that the fact checking may have been off and then promptly change the subject ("Have you noticed how good Tina Fey's impression of Sarah Palin is?")

The result? 70m people hear the slander. 7m people note the retraction. 63m think twice about Obama.

Hey mud sticks, and if the mud can also remind people that he's black too all the better. This is war. Well it's not. But it should be. Hand them both bayonettes and tell them that the last man breathing is the new President.

This ought to be good

Arab is a 4 letter word

Arabian in Red
Originally uploaded by HMsa

After the hoo-haa following McCain correcting an equally elderly bigot who claimed "I don't trust Obama. I've read about him and he's an Arab." nobody seems to be questioning the implication that Arabs can't be trusted.

I mean George Bush trusts them enough to take their money when his 'businesses' run dry, enough to hold hands in public as they walk through scented gardens, enough to prop up several Arab regimes that other people may have questioned. But no - that's not enough for Joe Six Pack or Susan Soccermom.

These guys have decided that if you don't sing hymns from a dreary book of a Sunday you're an enemy of the great idea that is America. America is Xtain dammit. It's a monoculture. It's a force for good. And you're all bent on our destruction.

Racism, it seems, is fine - just so long as you get the group tha Hollywood is currently casting as villains.

It's sad. It's pathetic. It's where we are in the world.

We want change

Best Homeless Sign Ever
Originally uploaded by rowkitcat

We open on a politician at on stage

The crowd are chanting
"We want Change, We want Change"
A wave of a thousand voices in unison

The politician smiles.
He raises his hands.
"Change is coming" he intones, a deep baritone that fills the space.

A pause

"No. We want change" the crowd replies.

We cut away from the politician to see that the crowd is made up of a thousand homeless people, each holding a cup.

The crowd starts up again

"We want change. We want change."

Voice Over : More and more Americans are finding themselves desperate for change. And it's only going to get worse. November 4th is your chance to stop the bleed to the street.


(I'd find it funny anyway)

So here I am in Dallas

1530 Main
Originally uploaded by the urban fabric

alas not at the Hotel Joule pictured but stealing wireless at a Sheraton hotel that's as resolutely brown as any that I've seen in aeons.

It's an "in and out" day - here to present at a sales conference and then off into the sky and back to Detroit in search of my car in the world's most confusing car park.

Should get home a little after midnight... and have a 7am so gonna be a knackered bunny.

Still have a good book and there's a new men's health in my bag - plus the new North Terminal is much, nuch friendlier than the 50 year old Smith terminal it replaced