I'm a tad bi-polar today. My brain is telling me to savage each and every person that comes within 15 ft; my body is responding to the 'fight' impulse with a springier step and almost boundless energy.
Not sure what's causing it - perhaps it's a possession and I'll have to have lots of women in Sunday Hats pray around me while an elderly preacher speaks in tongues. Though I imagine that that's less fun than it sounds. But there is a business opportunity there - hats with brims made of real brimstone. Sure they'd be heavy but these women tend to have pretty thick necks - at least in my head.
They'd smell pretty bad though. With Brimstone just being sulphur. I guess it would be like wearing a large egg sandwich. But at least you'd always have the smell of the devil close at hand to remind you of his noxious presence on earth. I'm liking this more and more, I could sell this.
Just found out that Sulphur is odorless. It's hydrogen sulphite that smells of rotten eggs. Still my audience wouldn't know this - they think that the earth is 6,000 years old, that man was cast from eden for eating an apple and that the end of days is as imminent as H&M's end of season sale.
Never underestimate the customer people used to say.
The customer is your wife, don't treat her like an idiot
And all of those things
But when it comes to the kind of people who believe that angels are roaming the earth and that any second they will be ripped from their clothes up into heaven and watch in rapture as the jews burn I guess that the rule doesn't hold.
Brimstoned Hats for all then
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