So last night was American Idol with a barely alive Tony Bennett, who seemed so happy to still be upright that all he could do was lavish praise upon those upon whom he intended to later feast.
Blake Edwards starteds with his tradmark Jamiroquai with arthritis slide and delivered an okay "Mack the Knife" that was free of both beat boxing and vocal range
Phil Stacey's performance of "Night and Day" was as flat as his voice... the man has to go home and soon
Mindy Doo started shaky (could it be her newfound neck putting her off) but finished big... she has to be safe tonight and if she isn't she should bring in the Richard III preservation society and demand a recount
Chris Richardson managed to turn "Don't get around much anymore" into his usual nasal dirge. This week though it was an upbeat dirge which should keep hime safe
Jordin Sparks is 17. This means that her ability to sing is 'amazing'... "On a clear day" was old fashioned but in tune. Grannies everywhere will have pointed their walkers toward their rotary dial phones and clawed arthritically at 1-866 idols 05
Sanjaya Malakar is 17... his inability to perform has made him a national joke. He's okay with this, which makes him okay with me. His 'cheek to cheek' was anodyne enough to reassure parents everywhere that their pre-teens aren't having sexual thoughts about him. Game on sanjaya.
Smile is a great song. Gina Glocksen is a chunky chick with badly styled hair who does a passable Joan Jett karaoke. You do the math.
Haley Scarnato is entertainment Quaalude. I'm sure she did whatever song she did competently... I'm not sure that's enough.
LaKisha Jones managed to get away with that lisp again (when will they mention it?) but also managed to do that menace in her eyes thing that she does so well when she's 'in the zone'... I feared for Simon's life and for Randy's virginity but she knocked it so far out of the park it almost cleared her bosom.
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