Work again

Back to work today - after a couple of shots of Velcade and that white blood cell thing that isn't Neulastra but sounds like its cuter sister; you know the one - the name escapes me right now.

Kind of wish I hadn't bothered going in to be honest. It was one of those days when lots of bits and pieces of the stupid agency shit that get in the way of doing the job seemed to come to the surface. You know the stuff - it happens everywhere and it's always petty and personal and political and pointless.

There was a time when I'd have cared; but one thing that I've learned over time is that office politics isn't a game that I'm cut out to win. So I don't try. These things are always molehills and I don't have the breath for mountains. I shall leave the politics for those with careers paths to carve out rather than cool jobs to get on with.

This sudden (and I realize uncharacteristic) high mindedness coupled with the very real possibility that I might actually live through this disease and come out with a reasonable lifetime ahead of me set me thinking - for the first time in a decade- as to whether this job is what I want to do with my life.

I've always loved what I do for a living, but I've never been particularly proud of it. Advertising has always seemed like such an easy and ultimately disposable job that when it came to the "things of which you are proud" list I'd always looked at other aspects of my life.

But when I got in tonight I looked at some of the things out in the world that exist only because one day I spotted an idea and then managed to convince other, cleverer, more creative people that it was a good enough idea to pursue collectively. Tp explore some.

And there's lots of stuff.

There are products out there that we have willed into existence. Companies that literally started as a note on an envelope under my desk and grew to be places where people are proud to work.

There are ideas out there, ways of thinking, that might actually have changed the way that some people looked at the world..

There are famous campaigns and funny ads and some gloriously stupid failures (with the caliber of people around me I have no excuse for my miss rate)

There are even some buildings that look the way they do because we had a good idea - and some corners of cyber space visited only because they house the stranger products of our over salaried imaginations.

But they're all out there, in part, because of this weird job of mine - a job where you spot an idea, bring people in to nurture it, defend it, build it and let it go out into the world.

So yes, it's worth doing. And yes I can be proud of it. And yes I'm going to say that I'm proud of it. And the next time I buy an ice cream that's half choc ice, half ice cream biscuit sandwich and very easy to eat (for some absurd amount of cash) I'm going to tell the woman that sells it to me "this was an idea I had once"