Geo-targeted

If you talk to Matthew George - a very nice, bright man who I maintain is proof that John Denver and Kermit got very friendly during the making of the Muppet's Xmas album - he'll tell you all about Geo-targeting.

The idea is that media is getting smarter... that when people know what you're watching, or reading they'll now what ads to show you. In a geo-targeted world you'd get an ad for Kleenex just as they were telling you that you're favorite aunt had swallowed that ring you'd always wanted just before she died.

It's a simple idea. You get targeted with ads just at the right moment. The Internet should be great at this, but isn't. It will be.

Of course there are better ways to Geo-target. I've never understood why Kleenex for example haven't published the 100 greatest tear-jerkers as a range, inserting a tissue during every 'weepy' passage. The 'jerkers' idea could be extended too - I'd love to see the '100 sexiest' with tissues inserted for entirely different fluids too.

But I digress.

The people at the hospital told me that my biggest enemy would be constipation. Really? thought I before being regaled with stories of liver toxicity and all manner of things what could block me up bad. I was handed revolting drugs. Generic stool softeners, spasm inducing laxatives - and like a fool I took them.

Yesterday therefore was a just stomach spasm after stomach spasm. It was nasty, lots of bending double and cursing of the people who make 'senna X' or whatever.

And of course every spasm triggered the same ad' - a librarian suddenly doubles over with pain, her book trolley shoots off at comedic speed, it hits a bookcase, a domino effect is seen, library crashes down, 'bad day' is had, 'none spasm inducing laxatives' are recommended as a solution to both spasms and the decaying library system.

Damn if I'd only taken 'Senna XY'

If this is the future you can keep it - Tom Cruise's Minority Report future seemed sexier than this, but it's all the same.

Really, I don't want to be targeted, I want to watch Grey's Anatomy.

Is that too much to ask?