Saturday, August 22, 2009

Not so fast

Two days after my last post I'm still in New York City. Blame the weather, blame mad chinamen, blame whatever.. it's a mess.

So here's the story. I leave the office and head to LGA, stand in line, wait 20 mins for someone to validate my passport at the self serve booth (if you need validation from a member of staff it's not self serve in my opinion but I digress) and am given this message.

"You are attempting to check in too early, boarding passes can be printed no more than 24 hrs in advance"

A lot of wrangling and I see that my flight has been canceled. And that I'm on standby for a flight 26 hours hence. Which is pants as I have to leave Monday at 4am to get back to New York. The office swings into action and finds a 9.40 flight out of EWR. I get in a taxi and start to head there... only to find on my Blackberry that this flight too is canceled. I call Continental (the airline) and they confirm, but say that my ticket was held but not bought and that if I want to fly at all this weekend I have to throw $1000 at them right now. I crumble. I buy the ticket. Cancel Delta and get some of the money back and then head back into town to find a hotel (remember no hotels if it's a weather related delay)

So today I leave early, Get to the airport and find my flight delayed due to a late arriving incoming plane. 3 hrs later I'm onboard and happy to be heading home. We pull away from the gate and grind to a halt. Bad weather. But we're being re-routed and will be away soon. Then that route is canceled. We still the engines and wait an hour - happy to be 3rd in line.

The clouds start to part and the screaming starts. A Chinese man wants off the plane. he's had enough. He doesn't want to fly. He wants to go back to the gate. We turn around and head back. To take off against his will is legally kidnap. Cool. As we head back planes start moving. There's a gap in the storm and they all take off. We don't. We get to the gate and the Chinese man refuses to get off. Planes are moving. He wants to leave. They throw him off. His three sheepish looking kids are ushered to the door. He forbids them to leave. "Booooo" say the plane. "BOOOOOOOOO" says the sweet but deaf man next to me. A stand off, they they too are off. We refuel. We head back to the runway. We stop. The storm is back. We're no. 17 for take-off. We wait. For about 4 hrs. People cry. People faint. The deaf man next to me shout / whispers "YOU CAN SEE THAT ONE'S NIPPLES AND HER ASS... SHE MUST BE A STRIPPER... NOT ONE FOR MOTHER ANYWAY"

"We'll make it" say the cabin crew

"We won't" says the pilot and we head back to the gate. Deflated.

"I TELL YOU SHE'S A DANCER" yells my seat-mate. Fun.

Weather again means no hotels but I stand in line with the deflated few and wait to change my ticket. It takes hours. The guy behind the counter seems distracted by the stripper / dancer. He offers me 5pm tomorrow. I don't want to fly at 5pm tomorrow as I have to be back Monday at 6am. So I decide to change for mid-week, suck it up and head into town.

Walk into my fave hotel and tell the tale. Tearfully. They take pity and upgrade me to a suite. It's nice. And cheaper than where I've been.

I try to call home but Jude is out doing the things that I'd planned for us to be doing together. I have a friend in town and I'm not seeing him at all. Still mid-week.

I decide to check the flight times and see that it's booked in the past. For July not August. Old Nipple Tassels certainly has an effect on men. I call and change the ticket. For no charge. That's nice. Check the weather for mid-week, it looks good. Then I cry, a lot.

After that I call some friends, arrange some dates, sort through expenses (a lot of small bits of paper) and generally feel better. Work some too and manage to improve a brief and get into a position to start work tomorrow. More drained than a bride-groom to be at one of 'SHE'S A DANCER, WINK, WINK's - and now for some TV and bed.