Back from Vacation

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Originally uploaded by stevenjude.

So we’re back from Anguilla, which was small, quiet and perfect for what we needed. Lots of beaches, occasional great meals in scenic restaurants and the chance to be ‘1000 miles from care’

It doesn’t seem THAT long ago that I was coughing up pieces of lung on the poor people unfortunate enough to be sitting in a room with me on the JetBlue pitch.

Or that long ago that I was crawling to the bathroom in order to throw up what I couldn’t cough up.

Nor does it seem that long ago that that I was walking to the doctor’s office in Greenpoint to be told that I had lymphoma but would ‘probably be alright after a miserable 6 months or so.”

And the six months since then haven’t actually been all that miserable. Certainly not in comparison to the misery that you’re told to expect. But then managing expectations is the key to keeping people happy, this I’ve realized.

I’ve been thin, fat, bald, swollen, nauseous, euphoric, knackered, jelly legged, mercury ankled, optimistic, pessimistic and realistic.

But I’ve never been alone.

And I have you people to thank for that.

What next?

A bigger fight I think. A fight against the prejudice that I’m now, somehow, damaged goods. A fight against work’s new found ‘wrap him in cotton wool’ attitude. A fight against falling back into the acceptance of mediocrity that’s so comfortable a cage.

And some new challenges. The next year should see a new job for Jude. Perhaps a new city or country as a result of that new job (and hopefully a new job for me if a move does happen)

What next? Most importantly a chance to live ‘off schedule’ – without treatment dates and SCAN schedules dominating the calendar.

I’m not sure how much interest there will still be in this blog, now that it doesn’t have the draw of imminent death – add a comment if you’d like to see it continue, otherwise I’ll let it do what I, to date, have not. I’ll let it quietly die.