the World Cup starts today - hurrah!
A chance to be misguidedly and fleetingly patriotic, jingoistic, xenophobic and ultimately disappointed.
A chance to wear 'replica' shirts of scratchy Nylon, to sing offensive songs and to openly sneer at the rest of Europe.
A chance to hang a flag without seeming American, for the middle class to behave in what they imagine to be working class fashion - all loutishness, gutteral consonants and beery homo-erotica.
A chance for the newspapers to dust off their best puns, for the TV networks to besy off their best pundits and for the supermarkets to sell off their nest Punjabi Vindaloos.
Unless of course you live in the US - where it's a chance to rediscover ESPN2 - home of International Paintballing and the World Soccer Cup
Pah!
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