Superbowl ads

Had some students over from the UK on Friday.

I set them a 'superbowl ad' assignment and had them come back in this morning - and boy were they disappointed.

For those of you who don't know - the Superbowl is the biggest advertising bonanza in the US. A sport game during which 1 minute of airtime costs $5m dollars. Accordingly marketing dicks are pumped, inflated and waved during the game. It's 4 hours during which America gives a damn about advertising and it's always a let down.

Superbowl extra large (40 - XL, geddit?) was a HUGE flop.

We had a diet Pepsi can using a Diet Coke can as a stunt double (the diet coke can gets crushed, haw!);

We had a Toyota ad so sickening I went looking for my left over Kytril

KID daddy why do you drive a hybrid
DAD for the future, it uses two types of energy
KID like you with Spanish and English?
DAD yes
KID then why did you learn English?
DAD (smug look into rear view mirror) FOR YOUR future

We had P.Diddy, we had Jessica Simpson, we had Jay Mohr, we had Leonard Nimoy, we had Fabio(!)
We had an avalanche of C list celebrity and D rate 'humor'

We had Dove campaigning for real beauty by begging us to send money to ugly kids (or a 'self esteem' fund)
We had Pepsi (again) informing us that it's brown and bubbly.

We had Kermit whoring it for Ford (he's green, so is the hybrid)

We had an end of the pier with the Nolans and Dooby Duck type dancing 'spectacular' for Burget King - the woman dressed as a meat pattie drew the shittiest stick in a poo-ey pile)

We had men being stupid for Bud Light, women being busty for whateverthehell.com

We had Clydesdales (big horses) for Bud (hurrah!) and a pretty good sheared sheep as streaker gag

Worst of all the world's best agency ripped off JWT Thailand for a Hummer spot, knowingly or not

An total and utter waste of time, I told people at the office that my Grant Mitchell meets an un-touped Liberache look was the result of my having torn out my hair in frustration at the sheer waste of it all - and they believed me.

Thank god for Pizza Hut - pricking at Jessica Simpson's pomposity with a shot for shot remake of her 'this pizza with 26 additional cheese pockets is made for swallowing' (I kid you not) ad - starring Ms Piggy! Yes, Ms Piggy.

Maybe there's hope yet